Ok, so yes I am aware I should be working on Seeing Double. But, I kind of could not get rid of this idea I got! I wanted to get it done by Halloween, but obviously I failed! Oh well, I hope you enjoy anyways!! Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, which includes concepts and characters in this story (well duhhhhhhh!! ). If I did own FMA though, I would have kept Nina in the show!
It was the night before Halloween and Edward wanted something to do. He thought for as long as he could, but nothing came to his mind. After a few minutes (ok, maybe it was 20!), he finally thought of what he would do and to whom he would do it to! He was going to TP Roy's house! Roy wasn't going to like this, but, hey, it was Halloween after all! Well, that very evening, at precisely AM, Edward made his way over to the home of lieutenant, colonel, Roy Mustang, A.K.A. the Flame Alchemist's home. He carefully checked to make sure nobody could see him. When he was absolutely sure he began unpacking the large bag packed with toilet paper! Lucky for him he had alchemy on his side, so he didn't have to labor all night to get everything covered with TP. This was pure evil! (Well, not really, but it was still bad!) After he had the tree covered, he moved on to the house itself. It took 3 whole hours to cover everything! Once the whole property was covered he went home, with that evil grin upon his face. He was so tired! He wanted to just sleep on the street! But, if Al found out he left, there would be nothing but worry about Edward's safety.
Roy awoke to the sound of the alarm clock. He got up lazily and walked to the bedroom door. He noticed that it was his turn to dog-sit Black Hayate, while Riza was on some assignment. Joy! As the smallish dog panted at him he said' "No thanks, I use toilet paper!" The dog kind of laughed at him, wishing, in a sadistic way, that the man would just get him some water before he bit him. So, ironically, he walked to a window and saw all of the toilet paper around his house. He shrieked and scared Hayate half to death. He tried as hard as he possibly could not to blow the whole place up. He knew it was Ed and he was going to make him pay!
As he arrived to work that afternoon, he noticed everyone snickered as he passed. He was really mad now. He wanted to blow everything up! Upon arrival to his office, he found pictures of his house with the words "Man, no wonder there's no toilet paper left! I must've drunk too much scotch or maybe forgot to go to alcoholics anonymous." This little prank was making him madder than he has ever been in his life! "Oh, Ed, you have no idea what will happen to you if I find you", Roy said out loud. As everyone turned to see him, he turned red and mumbled something crude under his breath.
Ed turned the corner and stopped. He saw Roy and ran the other way. Only, unfortunately for Ed, Roy saw him and chased him down. "Come back here you little runt. You little sneak! How dare you! You may have ruined my chances to become fuehrer. Nobody is supposed to know about my little scotch problem." Ed just giggled and ran. This was so fun, to him at least.
When Roy started to catch up to Ed, Ed just fell to the ground. He surrendered. He was already tired and Roy was much faster than he was. Roy was really mad at this point. He didn't notice Ed falling to the ground and tripped on him. Ed cried out in pain as the man, much larger than he, fell on top of him. Roy scrambled to get up before anyone saw. But his efforts were useless, Riza had already seen. "Um, sir, if you really felt that way about Edward you need to tell somebody. That way people won't think you are some kind of pedophile." Roy turned red and screamed, "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!! HE FELL AND I TRIPPED ON HIM!!! ARGGGGGGGGG!" As Riza sighed and walked away, Roy yelled at Edward and made rude hand gestures. After lots of cursing and much fighting, Edward and Roy finally apologized and made up.
(A/N) well, not my best work. But hey, this was a seasonal oneshot. A little late but I still hope you enjoyed it!! Review!!! I will reward you with cookies/ramen/hugs/one of 20 gold nuggets.