This is a one-shot that ties into (or will tie into) my story, "Onward, Into Another World!" If you haven't read it yet, you may want to at some point to better understand the end of this story. What? You say I made this because I'm an attention whore? Well, I am.
Disclaimer: I do not own Adventure Time. But someday...
This is the story of a young lad named Finn, and his trusty hound, Jacob. Finn and Jacob live in a land called "Hmm," and together, with their friends Bonnibel, the princess of the Kingdom of Candy, and Marceline, a lady whose bloodline is that of both a hellspawn and a homosapien, stop evil using the power of extreme sophistication.
One day, Finn arises from his bed, feeling quite exasperated from his journeys of the day previous. He had traveled to the Kingdom of Ice to stop the malicious and perverted King Simon from using a device that made him appear to be attractive to those of the opposite gender. Finn sat up, and swiftly, but quietly (so as to not awaken his before-mentioned hound, Jacob), removed his bedspread. He stood up with a correct posture, to be positive that his spine would not be injured or oddly moved in any way. He turned around to make his bed, putting his blankets in a perfectly symmetrical fashion.
"Jacob," said the boy, who, I seem to have neglected to mention earlier, is the last remaining member of the human race, "it is time to awaken." He tapped the yellow bulldog on the his arm, gently. Once. Twice. Three taps, all perfectly timed and spaced apart.
Jacob opened his large white eyes gracefully, but also quite masculine-ly. "Ah, good morrow to you, Finn," he said. He too got out of bed, carefully, and arranged his covers to match Finn's. The both of them verily dressed themselves in black business suits. Finn wore a red tie, while Jacob wore a yellow bow tie.
Together, they walked downstairs to the living area of their treehouse, which was crafted by them to look like a mansion. Finn sat down on the loveseat, while Jacob prepared morning tea and cake. He brought the plate over to the coffee table, and set it down gently.
After taking a sip, Finn inquired, "Jacob, have you any plans for this day?"
Jacob also took a sip from his own cup. "I've none. Why do you ask? Wish you to go on an adventure?"
"Perhaps not an adventure, per se, but to eradicate the plans of an evildoer, my muscles are certainly aching for."
"Perhaps Petrikov could be of some help. Shall we depart, then?"
"After I have finished my tea, and urinated."
"Very good."
Finn and Jake exited their home wearing winter jackets filled with goose feathers, on a journey to the Kingdom of Ice, Jacob stopping to produce fecal matter on the freshly cut lawn.
"Bloody Grod, Jacob," Finn said with a slightly irritated tone, "must you do your business on the lawn that I have toiled over for so many an hour?!"
"Mmm, yes," said Jacob.
"Well," Finn said quickly. "That is not very proper of you, I must say."
"Old chap," said Jacob, shaking his head, "I am a canine. Would you ever have a canine use a toilet? No. Because canines are animals, and an animal using a toilet is even less proper than dropping my business on the lawn."
"I suppose you're correct."
"Yes, now," Jacob pulled up his trousers, "let us make the real departure."
"You may have warned me about the stench, Jacob."
"Ho ho ho," Jacob chuckled. "Excuse my dastardly sense of humor."
Upon arriving in the Kingdom of Ice, Finn and Jacob stopped in a somewhat miniscule post office (as Petrikov was the only intelligent being living in the area) to regain some of the warmth they had lost on the journey.
In Simon's castle, they were greeted by a penguin by the name of Gunther, who wore a little butler's suit. "Wenk," it said, reaching for their coats.
"Why thank you, Gunther," said Finn, handing it over. Jacob did the same. Jacob took a penny out of his skin, which he was able to stretch into several different shapes and forms. This was due to him drinking a magical cup of tea when he was but a pup.
A penny, thought Gunther angrily, in a voice reminiscent of a famous homicidal baby. Just a penny?! "Wank," he said under his breath.
In the next room over, Simon Petrikov was sitting on his mattress, fiddling with the device that Finn and Jacob had destroyed yesterday. "Ah, Finn and Jacob, my friends," he said, smiling.
"Spare us, won't you, Simon?" Finn said impatiently. "Jacob and I would like to know if you are up to any kind of scheme at the moment."
"Mm, yes. I was just repairing my machine that you two mercilessly destroyed yesterday. Would you like some tea?"
Finn raised a hand, "No, thank you, we had tea before we left. Is that all you will be doing today, is repairing that thing?"
"Yes," Simon said enthusiastically from the kitchen, where he was preparing tea for himself.
"Hmm." Finn took the machine from the bed where it lay, and casually tossed it out the window. When Simon came back into the room, carrying the tray, Finn slapped it out of his hands. He then took off one of the white gloves he was wearing and slapped Simon in the face with it. Simon dramatically flew across the room. "Ah," Finn sighed. "My muscles do feel quite relieved." With that, Finn and Jacob walked out, leaving the blue wizard on the floor, sobbing. Without warning, Jacob stretched his hand back into the room, which was stretched further into the shape of a glove, and slapped Petrikov with it.
Walking along the path that was the entryway to Simon's castle, Finn and Jacob encountered a tiny black orb, which seemed to be glowing with an evil green aura. Finn picked it up and pondered; perhaps it was a trap set up by King Simon? Finn put the thing in his pocket, and continued on with Jacob to the tree-mansion.
To be continued in a not yet written chapter of "Onward, Into Another World!"
Author's Note: Now, some of you, you who skipped the note at the beginning, may be a bit confused by the ending there. Well, this is the first of four one-shots that will tie into my story, "Onward, Into Another World!" If you haven't read it yet, it is quite mediocre. Maybe you'll read it and understand the black orb, maybe you won't and just be pissed off about the ending of this one-shot. Oh well. Now, for all those fiolee people that flood the internet, you may be interested to know that Fionna will become a major character in the main story, and there will be a one-shot involving Fionna. So there you go, enjoy life, have fun, and please read my story. Please...