Lost and its characters belong to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, and The Others. Kate has a hard time falling asleep after choosing to stay in captivity.

Lost – Resolve
By Mystic
October 30th 2006

Sawyer didn't snore in his sleep. Somehow that fact was amusing to Kate. The last time they'd shared sleeping space, she'd passed out as soon as her head hit the ground, but this time her mind was too occupied to sleep. She shifted the bag under her head, the dress stuffed inside, and she sighed. It smelled like sweat and hay, and a little like sand.

It scratched at the side of her cheek and she sat up, shifting and pressing her back against the rock wall behind her. Her eyes drifted up towards the bars she knew she could fit through. She could get out right now, look for Jack and they could break Sawyer out and be gone. Except that Sawyer didn't seem keen on leaving. And she had no clue where Jack was. And she didn't know where Pickett and his gang were. And she had no clue how to get back.

She eyed Sawyer, watched the rise and fall of his chest as he lay slumped against the water trough, the water bucket still lying between his thighs, the sponge in his limp hands. At his wrist, the thick watch sat heavily against his skin and she closed her eyes, shutting out his image, but it was still there in her memory, telling her to leave. If there hadn't been bars, she might have punched him and his stubbornness.

Every man for himself.

Save herself.

Leave him.

How could he not understand that she couldn't do that? She couldn't just walk off without him. It wasn't even her intention because she wouldn't leave without Jack either. Her eyes rolled underneath her eyelids and she slid, her feet pulling her body back down onto the concrete slab she'd been using as a bed. Her intention was to let him loose, give him a chance to leave. She'd take the punishment for once.

Sawyer grunted and the watch beeped a few times and she heard him smack it before standing. She closed her eyes, peeking through slits as he touched a spot on his chest before turning to look at her. Sawyer breathed in long through his nose as he touched the bars and watched her sleep. Ducking his head, he sucked his teeth before going back to the ground and leaning against the foot step that was part of the 'food reward' process. He tilted his head back, licked his lips and closed his eyes.

It wasn't long before he was asleep again.

Kate rolled onto her side, pulling her makeshift pillow back underneath her head and she watched him sleep. It wasn't her intention to hurt him with her words. Far from it, she told him to set him straight knowing it was unfair for him to think otherwise. She didn't love him; she didn't hate him either.

Most of the time she thought she understood him. She got self-hate. She got self-punishment. She got the outcast mentality. She knew why he did some of the things he did and she knew that he'd continue to do them no matter how much she encouraged him to change.

Kate rubbed her nose, listening to the night sounds of the jungle, loosing herself in those noises until she heard footsteps. It wasn't Pickett this time, coming to monitor them, make sure they were behaving the way he did twice a night.

"I know you're awake," came a female voice she was familiar with. She spoke softly, in a whisper and when Kate looked over, she could see the woman in the scrubs pressed against the bars, her hands gripping them from the outside like Kate had done too many times from within.

Kate swallowed hard, her eyes finding the blood on the woman's white outfit. "How is she?"

Juliet's head fell slowly, her lips pressing together tightly.

"You took Jack to help fix her," Kate offered. "How is she?"

"She died," Juliet responded.

"I'm sorry," Kate told her honestly, her eyes blinking back tears. She'd gotten so accustomed to Jack being able to fix everything. Even after Boone. Even after Shannon. Even after Ana and Libby. Her mind needed to believe that he could fix everything.

She looked back up at Juliet, watching her hands slide off the bars. The other woman turned away from her, walked back towards the building. "We're taking him back. Didn't think you'd be awake. I need you to be quiet."

"He already knows I'm here," Kate huffed matter-of-factly.

Juliet nodded, "I know." She turned back to Kate a moment, watching her, and Kate wondered what the look was for, the curiosity and something like a revelation before she put a finger over her mouth and Kate closed her eyes.

She heard the footsteps walk away and then the group coming back. Kate didn't open her eyes. She knew Jack would have the bag over his head, couldn't see her. But she heard him call her name anyways, cautious and muffled through the material and she looked up in time to see him being pushed away. Juliet staring her down, as if to warn her to stay put.

Kate bit her bottom lip, keeping it from trembling and she stared out at the bars. The fear inside of her, the need to break free and run would only last five seconds. She glanced over at Sawyer and then back towards the place where Jack had been lead away and she gritted her teeth. Live together, die alone.
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Finis