Always
Trapped.
I had been trapped. The person who I had allowed myself to trust, who I had slowly let into my life, was going to kill me.
"Bastard." I hissed, thrashing around ,but the net only dug into my skin, and I when I attempted to hack at it with my dagger, a foot stomped on my hand. Hard.
I yelped, raising my eyes to meet the mischievous face of the beautiful Finnick Odair.
"Hello, my sweet Allison." He purred, and while his tone seemed seductive and loving, his true intentions were showed as he ground my foot into the earth.
I bit my lip, angry, hurt tears threatening to spring to my eyes.
"Why?" I simply asked. So many questions were in that one word.
Why are you doing this?
Why do you hate me?
Why are you crying?
Because, as I watched in disbelief, Finnick's famous sea-green eyes filled with tears, and he blinked, one, two, three times, salty droplets of water trickling down his tanned cheeks.
He stepped back, releasing my sore hand, and I struggled underneath the net for a minute before Finnick leaned forward and ripped the net off my small frame without batting an eyelash.
I stared up at him, terrified and confused and completely unsure of what to do.
He crouched down, reaching out a large hand, trying to coax me over, like a child with a scared puppy.
"Ally," He whispered, his voice half-shaking, "Ally, baby girl, please don't look at me like that."
His calloused fingers were mere centimetres away from my cheek, but I shuffled back, edging away from him.
"I don't want to die." Finnick's voice was closer to sobbing now as he crawled on after me, on his hands and knees like a wild animal, sounding more and more helpless as he scrambled towards me.
I stared wordlessly at him, unable to think of what to say as I moved back once more, but the rough bark of a tree against my back stopped my movement.
So I let him brush my hair away from my face, soothingly stroke the scratches on my cheek, and he continued to feel my face, my lips, my neck and his fingers paused at my bruised hand.
"I'm sorry." He gasped in a mouthful of air and then started sobbing, "I don't want to hurt you."
I pulled him towards me, and wrapped my arms around him, and he buried his face in my shoulder and wept bitterly for all the death he had seen and all the lives he had taken.
I rested my chin atop his head, and sang softly, my voice quiet and gentle.
Finnick's sobs stop and his breathing quietened as he silently listened to me sing.
"If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewellery to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me
And then she said she cant believe
Genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down-"
I stopped singing and I covered my face with my hands, trying to remember the words my grandmother had sang to me so fondly when I was a child.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember.
I bite back a pitiful moan of dismay.
"Allison," Finnick leaned back and gently pulled my hands out of my face, "That was beautiful."
My eyes instantly filled with tears when I looked at his honest face, puffy eyes and his eyelashes still wet with tears.
I threw myself into his arms and cry.
His warmth encircled me and he crooned an old nursery rhyme, rocking me in his arms and lulling me to sleep with his gentle voice.
"Ring around the rosies,
Pocket full of posies,
Ashes, ashes we all fall down."
x.x.x.x
"Good morning beautiful." A cheerful voice breathed into my ear. My eyelids fluttered open and I squinted up at Finnick above me who was grinning down at me happily, a woven straw bowl of strawberries by our side.
I immediately asked him where he had gotten the food.
"We have very nice sponsors." He replied, bending down and pecking my cheek with soft lips.
I blinked up at him, bewildered, and he scooped up a plump red strawberry, holding it neatly between his forefinger and thumb, and fed me the entire bowl my hand. When he gave me the last one, I licked his fingers, which made him squeal like a girl.
I mimicked him and burst into a bout of belly-laughs, clutching my stomach, unable to stop the amusement I felt.
He sat on his haunches and grinned, and gave me a gentle flick on the nose once I had stopped laughing so hard.
"Quiet." He chided, and I immediately understood. As fun as that moment had been, my laughter could attract other tributes, leading to an easily avoided death.
"Sorry." I whispered.
"It's fine." He replied, running my fingers through my hair, gently untangling it and then he wove it into one long braid that stopped at my mid-back. He tied it with a piece of vine, and then smiled down at me, bending down and kissing me.
"You look lovely." He said, and then pecked each of my cheeks.
I touched a fingertip to my lips, confused and happy.
"Is something wrong?" Finnick tilted his head, looking concerned.
"Nope," I replied dazedly, "Nothing at all."
"Well, that's a relief." He said, leaning forward and kissing me again, watching me with amusement when a blush crawled up my cheeks.
I raised my eyes when the leaves above us rustled.
"It's probably just a bird, ignore it." Finnick whispered, leaving butterfly kisses on my neck.
I squinted my eyes at the foliage above me and saw a glimpse of leather boots and a dark tunic.
"Move!" I shoved Finnick roughly away from me as the person from above dropped onto me and I crumpled to the ground.
"Fucking bitch," A harsh voice panted in my ear, and I felt the agonizing pain of a knife as I was brutally, repeatedly stabbed in the back.
I screamed – loud, high-pitched, animalistic sounds that were wrenched out of my throat.
"Get the fuck off her!" Finnick bellowed, ripping the tribute off me, and taking the knife with him.
I forced myself to roll over despite the horrible pain in my back and I tried to get to my feet but only fell back down on my haunches.
I raised my eyes, seeing Finnick hurl his trident at the tribute – a boy from District 3, who must have been only thirteen. I watched the young boy die as Finnick snapped his neck quickly and then run to my side.
I laid down on my back breathing in sharp, shallow gasps of air.
"Ally," Finnick crouched down beside me, clutching my hands in his own, "Ally, we need to get you some help."
Blood was starting to dribble from my mouth; and he wiped it away with his thumb.
"Don't you see?" I said, gripping his hands as tightly as I could, staring into his eyes, "You won The Games. You're the winner."
His sea-green eyes flickered to the dead tribute a few metres away, and then back to me.
"But you're still alive." He was trying to deny my logic, feebly, but he was.
"Not for much longer." I smiled, my face gentle, "Finnick, I love you very, very much."
He was going to start crying again, I could tell by the way his lips were trembling and how his head was shaking in rapid denial.
"No, no, no, you're not going to die, don't say that, you're not, you're not." He babbled, tears running down his cheeks, "Stay with me baby girl, please don't die, please, oh god no."
I traced the outline of his face with my fingers, and dipped my hand into the pool of blood that was gathering around me and painted a crimson heart on his cheek.
"I have to go now." I said, and as calm as I was trying to act, tears were running down my face.
"No." He half-sobbed, "You can't leave me, I've only just found you."
"I'm so sorry Finnick."
"You can't die." He said softly, looking so distraught, and in so much pain, that I squeezed his hands gently and tried to soothe him.
"It's going to be okay."
"No it's not." He sniffed, "You're going to die."
"But you'll live."
"I can't do it without you."
"You have to." I reached up and tapped his chest, pressing my hand to his heart, "I'll always be watching over you."
Finnick was silent, he just help me tightly to his chest and I felt his tears drip onto my hair, my skin, and I hated myself for making him feel like this.
"It hurts, Finnick." I whispered, my pale lips painted red with blood.
He held me closer.
"I know."
"I'm scared."
"I know."
"I'm so sorry." I coughed weakly, red droplets spraying out of my mouth.
Finnick released a dismayed sob.
"I love you so much Finnick."
It was getting harder to breath now, and it felt like a weight was pressing down on my chest.
"I love you too." He choked open between crying.
"Will you sing for me?" I stared up at him, feeling so incredibly tired, but I held on.
For Finnick.
He blinked, fat tears rolling down his beautiful face.
He cleared his throat, parted his lips, and sang.
"When the world gets too heavy
Put it on my back
I'll be your levy
You are taking me apart
Like bad glue
On a get well card
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
I'm a fly that's trapped
In a web
But I'm thinking that
My spider's dead
Oh, lonely, lonely little life
I could kid myself
Thinking that I'm fine
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
That I'm skin and bone
Just a cane and rusty throne
Oh, the castle's under siege
But the sign outside says "Leave me alone"
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
It was always you
Blink back to let me know
It was always you."
He closed his mouth, still crying softly.
I smiled up at him gratefully.
"That was beautiful. I love you so much Finnick." I reached up and kissed him. Then I thumped back on the ground and let the darkness pull me away from this world.
I felt his calloused fingers on my face, smoothing my hair away from my face and I heard him wailing my name, though he sounded so far away.
My heart was slowing down now – I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe.
I relaxed into the earth, and I succumbed to the great blackness pressing down on me.
And I died.