The knock on the door was light and Fitz barely heard it. His head still throbbed and he hadn't been able to sleep since his return from Maveth. He hollered "Hello" before reaching for the door handle. He opened the door to find Jemma, in black yoga pants and a white t-shirt standing in front of him. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and her eyes were dark, rimmed with red, betraying her. Her voice was quiet and shaky, "Can we talk?" Fitz wasn't ready to have whatever conversation was about to happen, but he stood back and allowed her to enter. She walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. She gestured for him to sit next to her. He let out a shaky sigh and sat down next to Jemma but kept his distance. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever while Jemma twisted her fingers in her lap.
"Why are you here Jemma?" He tried to hide the irritation in his voice but he couldn't. He was tired, he hurt and he didn't want to talk about Will – he just wanted to drink his tea and go to bed.
She looked at him and her heart sank. She couldn't find the words. She wasn't even sure if she knew what she hoped to accomplish by coming here so late at night. She was just tired. It had only been two days since they returned from the castle and sleep was elusive. She was tired of living in emotional limbo.
"I'm tired of wasting time." Her voice was just a little louder than a squeak. Fitz nodded, he understood. After three years of being on the bus you began to realize the fragility of life.
Jemma felt a rush of confidence and stood up. She started pacing and rubbing her forehead trying to work out the wrinkles of her thoughts. Fitz said nothing but just watched her, knowing that she needed time to find the words.
"We had time Fitz. We had lots of time and we've wasted lots of time and I'm tired of it." She stopped suddenly and looked intently at Fitz. "I love you. I've always loved you. And the truth is that after being on Maveth I knew there was only one man I wanted to spend every day with and that's you." Jemma's breath was quick and shallow. She had finally laid herself bare and she wasn't sure if she was too late. If her opportunity to be with Fitz was gone.
Fitz stood up and scuffed the floor with his shoe. This was not the conversation he was expecting and now that she had said it he wasn't sure what he should do next. He knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure that was the right thing.
Jemma stepped closer, closing the space between them. She had come this far she might as well go all the way. "I'm not sleeping at night. I thought…if you didn't mind…that I could…I mean only if you want…that I could stay here tonight." Fitz's eyes flung up and he stared at her. Did she just propose what he thought?
"You want to stay here? In my room? With me?"
Jemma felt her face flush and she suddenly got very warm, "well, yes."
Fitz's breath was shallow and he felt a desire building within himself that he was tired of fighting and denying. He was tired of doing the right thing. He was tired of wasting their time.
He grabbed Jemma around the waist and crushed his lips against hers. She willingly complied, bending her hips towards his and opening her mouth. He felt a surge of desire. Now that he had stopped fighting it he knew there would be no stopping. He slipped his hands under her shirt feeling the soft, delicate skin of her lower back. He gently grabbed her hips and turned her, walking her back against the bed, gently guiding her onto the bed until he was lying on top of her, his hand sliding up the front of her shirt gently caressing her breasts. Their legs were intertwined and Jemma continued to slowly and gently push her hips against his, grinding slightly against the hardness growing in his pants.
Fitz pulled aside for a moment and looked at her. She smiled, and stroked his face. Running her fingers through his short, curly hair. He suddenly felt a surge of regret. Was he being selfish? Was this even what she wanted? He sat up, adjusting his pants. "I'm sorry Jemma. I don't know…I mean, I just…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" Jemma was confused and immediately felt the loss of the warmth of his body. She wanted that warmth to return, for Fitz to envelop her, to take her, to hold her, to never leave her side. She propped herself up on her elbows, "Please don't be sorry. I rather enjoy kissing you." And she gave a coy smile. Fitz rubbed the back of his neck and returned a sheepish smile. He didn't even know what to think about making out with his best friend – this was new territory for him. He sighed and stood up, "I'm going to slip on my pajama pants and I think that perhaps for tonight, we should just sleep." He turned to walk into the small bathroom and then hesitated, turned back and said, "Jemma, it's not that I don't want to. I just don't want to mess this up." Jemma stood up and walked closer, resting her hands on Fitz's hips. She leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, "I don't want to mess it up either. Why don't you give me the pajama tops and you take the bottoms". He kissed the top of her head and walked over to the small closet by the bathroom door and grabbed a set of pale blue pajamas, he tossed the tops at Jemma and kept the bottoms. They both stared at each other intently. Fitz's heart was racing. He wasn't sure what to do and his breath grew shallow and fast. Jemma smiled, realizing that Fitz was unsure so she grabbed her white t-shirt and lifted it up over her head, exposing a pale pink cotton bra. Fitz swallowed hard and tried not to look but he couldn't help but notice the soft curves that pushed up out of her bra. Jemma slipped the button-up pajama shirt on, and pulled her pants down out from under the shirt. Fitz unbuttoned his dark blue shirt, leaving his snug fitting white t-shirt on. He started unbuttoning his pants and was hoping Jemma was going to look away but she didn't. He tried to move slowly in hopes that he could pull his desire in control before it would no longer be something he could hide. As he went to turn his back towards Jemma she let out a small laugh and reached out and grabbed his arm, "uh-huh buster. I showed mine – you have to show yours". He turned around and his face was warm with embarrassment. She grabbed the waist band of his jeans and slowly pulled them down over his dark blue boxer briefs. His problem only grew worse with the gentle touch of her fingers skimming his hips. Jemma didn't hide the fact that she was looking. Fitz grew increasingly uncomfortable and warm and finally bent over, pulled off his jeans and pulled on the blue pajama bottoms. Jemma turned and giggled, sliding under the covers of Fitz's bed.