Stupid Country Song, a rookie blue fanfic

I could feel the condensation forming on the glass underneath my skin as I gripped it tightly. I've been holding the same glass for the pass hour and only taken three sips. I'm pretty sure the bartender is about ready to call one of my friends to take me home but not because I'm drunk but because I'm not doing my usually pouring my 'doubles' down my throat.

I glanced around the dimly lit bar and noticed that it was fairly slow tonight but considering it was 11' o'clock on a Tuesday night I wasn't very much surprised. I shouldn't even be here since I have an early shift tomorrow; that's the reason my usual group of friends aren't here. But I couldn't go home…my mind would just wander and I'd never get to sleep so I figured that getting drunk would help but clearly that isn't working out.

"Stupid alcohol," I muttered to myself as I shifted my glass into my other hand and attempted to take another sip from it. I felt the alcohol make its way down my throat but it didn't have the same effect; this just wasn't working out for me.

I sighed and rested my head on my forearm. I let out a small groan when I heard the subtle beat coming from the jukebox…some idiot had decided to play country music. This was my cue that I needed to get out of here but as the words started to play I couldn't move. I was rooted to the spot and only one thought came to my mind as I listened to the lyrics.

When I've been gone, when I'm right here,
the minute my eyes open in the morning.
Out on some highway, or pulling in the driveway.
Clear blue sky or when it's thunder storming.
My mind just can't escape you,
the first time I touched you, that's when I knew

All I could think was her…she the only thing that has been on my mind for months…from the moment we met. Every scenario brought me back to her.

I want you trust me, I want you to love me,
I want you to need me like I'm something you can't lose.
I want you to save me, I want you to crave me
Even when I can't find my way to you.
If you ever once doubt, anything I'm about,
All it ever comes down to, girl I just want you.

I knew that I was screwed right away…when her lips lightly touched mine in the coat room…I was screwed. There was something about her that I couldn't get around but I wanted to know more of. I wanted her in a way that I've never wanted anyone else and that…that scared the shit of me. This feeling was new to me but I saw or hoped I saw the same feeling reflected in her eyes.

When you get rattled, or you're coming all unraveled,
when your holding everything together for me.
The way you revealed me, the way that you feel me.
The way you know I'm holding something inside.
Don't know what time has for us,
but as long as I'm here, one thing I'm sure of.

I felt a smile forming on my lips as I thought of the moment we had in the interrogation room. Although the day was shitty all I could picture was her distressed state as she tried to express her concern…her feelings. Trying to keep it together but failing. The way her hands were flying around…the way her mouth was continuously moving spewing out a bunch of words and the way she tilted her head at my attempt to deflect her question about what was happening. She knew that I was hiding something and even in her distressed state she was able to draw it out of me. I never had someone do that…just look at me and make me spill. Hell I never really had someone worry about me; the perks of having friends and relationships with people who work the same job.

Her lips, her gentle touch, her smile…her…her everything, they kept my together. Even in my break down, she was there, she didn't run but yet I did…on something so small I ran. How could I think that she thought I was simple when I had meltdown in her bathroom? Having fun…isn't that was a relationship supposed to be…fun. This song was really starting to suck as the chorus continuously played and taunted me. That is exactly was she was doing…trusting me, craving me, and possibly loving me and what did I do…I bolted although all I really wanted…no all I really want…is her.

The song faded and came to an end but the lyrics still played in my head like a bad record. I could feel my eyes water but it was more with frustration then anything. How could I be so stupid? I stared down at my glass through a blurred vision before lifting the glass and draining its contents. The alcohol did shit but I wasn't going to waste 6 bucks. I waved off the bartender as he came over to pour me another one and stood up off my stool and made my way out of the bar.

The cool air was harsh against my cheeks but it was gentler than the brick wall of the country song I just heard. I stuck my hands into my coat pocket and began to walk down the street. Before long I noticed that instead of walking to my apartment I had walked to her house. I sucked in a deep breath as I looked up at her house and saw that her bedroom light was on. Her words I'm seeing someone kept playing in head as I walked up her steps to her door. I reached out to ring the doorbell but stopped just before my fingers could touch the button. I closed my eyes as I let my hand drop to my side…this wasn't the time to do this. It was almost 1 in the morning and we both had work. But before I turned around I reached into my pocket and pulled out a fifty and a small scrap of paper that I had written on during my walk here and tucked it between her screen door and the frame.

I let out a chuckle as I made my way down the stairs…stupid country song. I wasn't giving up on us and I was hoping that she would see that when she saw my little note that only read I just want you.

I pressed my phone to my ear and waited for Chris's voice.

"Hey loser, come pick me up," I said. I gave him the address and pocketed my phone.

I may not be able to get a cab home and may be short fifty bucks but it was worth it. Losing a bet never felt sweeter.

"I will never relate or connect to a stupid country song…they are annoying."

"We'll see. Fifty bucks says that you'll find one country song that will just speak words for you."

"Alright nerd…you're on."