Disclaimer: GOSH! I told Mr. B they weren't mine. I said, "Mr. B, they aren't mine." But he told me: "Cheesmunkee, you forgot the disclaimer in American Nightmare, so now I have to sue." I told him I'd make him some special chocolate chip cookies, but he figured out why they were special. :( Then he told me I had to give back the characters. I said, "Mr. B, I don't have them. They aren't mine." He told me to tell that to the rest of the world. So, rest of the world, "Mr. B, I don' t have them. They aren't mine." (I blame all lameness of that disclaimer on that crappy JAG ep, my period, Eve (from the Bible, not the singer/actress) and lack of sufficient sleep. Dinner was good though. :)
AN: This was actually the fourth NCIS fic I ever wrote. American Nightmare was first, Not Another One was 8th, and Daughters is 19th or so. (Shrugs) I have trouble posting in order. Hell, I have trouble writing in order. I wrote chapter 4 of this story before I ever started on chapter one. :D Chapter 4's the reason I wrote it. Go figure.
This fic doesn't warrant any warnings-yet. I'll post the warning when the time comes. :D To tell you now could ruin the fic. This story though, is one of my personal favorites. You'll see why in a minute. There's a small spoiler for "Forced Entry"(the greatest episode ever! this season). I swear that if you blink, you'll miss it- the spoiler that is.
AN2: Shippers, I have two yahoo groups now: forevertate and eternalgabby
Give 'em a visit. You're almost guaranteed to find someone you've heard of there. While I'm at it, I'll put a plug for my journal in here Heheh. Get to know me. If I don't scare you too badly...
The body dropped to the cabin floor with a sickening thud as a young man with sandy blonde hair put the urn back on the table.
"Damn, that thing's ugly."
"Go get the tools, Jordan." The younger man ran out the the red Ford and came back with a cloth satchel and a large cooler.
"Can I cut this time, Larx?"
The older, raven-haired man shook his head. This one's important. One of them is going to a little girl in Alexandria."
Jordan nodded and pulled the skin to the sides as Larx started the Y incision.
"Rib spreader." Larx ordered.
Jordan handed the tool over. Larx then expertly located and removed the liver while Jordan drew blood from the arms.
With the exception of the brain and intestines, 30 minutes later all of the major organs had been harvested.
The two men placed the tools and coolers in the truck and drove off.
A flash erupted from the crime scene camera as Kate bent over to pick up her glove.
Afraid to turn around, she closed her eyes. "Tony, did you just take a picture of my ass?"
"Yep. One more to add to my portfolio." He grinned devilishly at her as she turned.
Kate shook her head. "You- Wait! Are you collecting pictures of my ass?"
"I've taken at least one at every crime scene we've been to together."
"That means you have..." Kate tried to mentally calculate the cases they'd had. "You have over 30 pictures of my ass!" She cried in disbelief.
"Actually, about twice that. Sometimes I can't help it and just keep snapping. Like that day you wore those gray pants, I have six pictures of that."
"I want them back! That is so perverted. Not to mention creepy."
"No, it's a compliment. I only take pictures of stuff I really like."
"Is that why you keep taking shots of me walking?" Gibbs interjected.
"You know, the way your trench coat billows. It reminds me of Darth Vader." Tony defensively replied.
Gibbs and Kate both arched their eyebrows.
"I mean-"
"Stow it DiNozzo. I don't want to know about your fetishes. What are you doing with the camera anyways? Give it to Kate and start sketching."
Gibbs ordered and left to speak with the local cops.
Kate rolled her eyes as Tony handed her the camera and retrieved the sketch pad from the truck. He turned around to find his partner smirking.
"What?"
Kate cheekily grinned. "Nothing. Just the idea that you have fetishes involving Darth Vader and my ass amuses me."
"Fetish." He corrected.
Kate tilted her head.
"I only have one fetish." Tony explained.
"You want my ass in a Darth Vader costume?"
"What an imagination you have, Caitlyn." The two agents turned to find that Ducky had snuck up and eavesdropped on their conversation. The pathologist just chuckled.
"Do you have a different theory, Ducky?" Kate asked.
"Oh no, my dear. I know what Anthony's fetish is." Ducky grinned at Tony who was frantically waving his arms and shaking his head behind Kate's back.
Kate noticed Ducky's line of sight and glanced back at Tony, who quickly ran a hand through his hair and grinned.
"We'll have to talk some time, Ducky." Kate beamed.
"Yes, Ducky," Tony sweetly smiled. "We will."
The doctor walked off in the general direction of Gibbs, chuckling the whole way.
Kate turned back to Tony as he started sketching.
"So, are you gonna explain, or do I have to find out from Ducky?"
Tony smiled at her. "You'll have to ask Ducky."
Kate wrinkled her nose at him. "Fine. I w- Tony, come here."
"Why? I thought you were going to pump Ducky for 411."
"Just do as I say and walk slowly toward me."
Tony frowned as he started forward and turned his head to see what Kate was staring at.
"No! Don't look. Just c'mere."
Tony warily walked up to Kate and she slowly turned him around.
His eyes grew large as he saw the massive grizzly bear that had been standing not 8 yards behind him. He turned to locate the rest of the agents at the scene.
"Kate," he whispered, "where's Du-"
"Oh shit! It's going for the body." Kate withdrew her gun and fired a shot in the air. The bear bolted for the forest, a human leg clasped in its mouth.
"What the blazes?" Ducky yelled.
"A bear just took off with a leg!"
"Shoot it!" Gibbs yelled.
"It's not bear season!" Kate yelled back.
"It stole evidence! Take it out!"
Three shots rang out in the forest. Then everything was quiet.
AN: Well, What'cha think? I tweaked it as I typed it just now. It gave me ideas for chapter two. Sadly, I have chapter 4, but no 2 or 3. :D Gotta love me. (Or you wouldn've used the thumbscrews on me by now. Or the rack. Actually, the rack isn't such a bad idea. Maybe it'd give me an extra inch or two...
Review if you ever want to see another chapter again! Of any of my fics! Muwhahahaha!