That Lovin' Feelin'
Disclaimer: The following has been taken directly from the movie, Top Gun. Also, I obviously don't own any Harry Potter characters that I have used here. And just so you know, I'm not interested in whether or not Top Gun existed in Marauder Era, because it didn't. This one-shot is purely for humorous purposes.
A/N: I was watching Top Gun this morning, and I just burst out laughing because I suddenly imagined Sirius as Maverick. I thought I'd write down what I was imagining so that you could enjoy it, too. If you haven't seen Top Gun, you really should watch it sometime. Tom Cruise was at his best, and he never looked better. Truth be told, I've had my fill of Tom Cruise, I'm quite sick of him nowadays. But a decade ago, Tom Cruise was my Sirius Black, and so I hope you enjoy this...
"Now this is what I call a target rich environment," said Sirius, grinning sideways at his best friend as they entered a Muggle club and looked around at all the pretty girls inside.
James rolled his eyes and turned to him. "You live your life between your legs, Padfoot."
Sirius smirked. "Prongs, even you could get laid in a place like this."
The two of them began to walk through the crowd, Sirius turning to flash a sexy smile at a few girls he was passing.
"I'm telling you, I'd be happy to find a girl who'd talk dirty to me," James retorted, sarcastically.
Sirius laughed. "I'm telling Lily you said that, mate."
James handed Sirius a drink and took a large gulp of his own. "We're going to have a good time."
Sirius clinked his bottle against James's. "Always."
James put on a devious smirk. "Okaaaay, I guess it's my turn, isn't it?"
Sirius shrugged.
"All right," continued James, "the bet is twenty galleons."
"Twenty galleons," agreed Sirius.
"Right. You have to have carnal knowledge," James gestured at Sirius with the bottle in his hand, "of a lady this time," Sirius chuckled, "on the premises."
"On the premises?" Sirius began to search through the crowd to find a target. He spotted a breathtakingly beautiful girl taking a seat at the bar and ordering a drink about twenty-five meters from them.
James sighed in anticipation. "Come on, Padfoot. A bet's a bet."
Sirius turned back to James. "I don't know, it just, uh... it just doesn't seem fair. For you, I mean. But uh..." Sirius brought his hand down on James's shoulder and grasped it as he smirked at him, "she's lost that lovin' feelin'."
James looked back at Sirius with furrowed brows. "She's lost?–" Then it hit him what Sirius meant. "No, she hasn't," he said quickly.
Sirius pointed at the girl he had picked out. "Yes, she has."
James followed his gaze. "She has not lost that lovin–"
"Prongs, she's lost it," said Sirius, grinning widely at James and starting to head back through the crowd.
"Padfoot, come on!" Sirius paid no attention to him, continuing to walk through the sea of people in search of something. "I hate it when she does that." He sighed, "Shit," and followed.
There were risers set up in the corner of the club where a band might play on certain nights and Sirius found what he was looking for. He picked up the microphone, turned it on, and tapped it to see if it worked. James caught up with him just as Sirius made his way back past James the way he'd come. He went straight up to the girl sitting at the bar and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, Miss?"
She turned around.
"Hey, hey, hey!" James caught up to Sirius again and got between the two of them. He turned to the girl, saying, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this."
The girl furrowed her brows curiously, but then shrugged and turned back to face the bar. Sirius stepped around James and began to sing.
"You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss...your li-i-ips..."
The girl turned around again and looked at Sirius with a raised eyebrow.
James then stepped back up next to Sirius, who held out the microphone so James could use it, too. Then James sang and they both snapped their fingers to keep the beat.
"There's no tenderness like before in your fing-ger-ti-i-ips."
"You're trying hard not to show it," continued Sirius.
But then the girl turned crimson and looked around her embarrassed as an entire crowd full of guys joined in with Sirius and James, "Babyyy."
The guy next to her started to sing. The bartender started to sing. The guys behind Sirius and James started to sing, and they all banded together like an all-male choir.
They all sang, "But, baby, believe me, I know it! You've lost that looovin' feeelin'. Whoa, that looovin' feeelin'. You've lost that loooooovin' feelin'. Now it's gone, gone, gone. Whoa-whoa-oh... Bah-dum... Bah-dum... Bah-dum... Bum-bum."
The girl was smiling now and rolling her eyes as she realized they'd set this up. Sirius gestured to her with both hands and then put them over his heart and gave her his sexiest smile. She smirked and nodded at the empty seat next to her.
"Sit down."
Sirius rose his arm into the air in triumph as he sat. "Thank you!" he said to the crowd as they cheered.
James gave him a congratulatory handshake. The girl laughed. The crowd continued to "Bah-dum," and James handed over the mic to another guy so he could continue the song.
"I love that song," said the girl. Sirius grinned "But I've never seen that approach. How long have you two been doing this act?"
"Oh, I don't know, since..."
"Puberty?" the girl smirked.
He laughed. "Right, puberty." Sirius shook his head. "No, actually, we've only done this, uh, twice."
"Oh? How'd you do?" she asked.
Sirius sighed. "Crashed and burned on the first one. It wasn't pretty."
She laughed. "And the second?"
Sirius smirked, suggestively. "I don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow, but it's looking good so far."
The girl rose an eyebrow, and he gave her a fake laugh.
She grimaced. "Well, uh...my friend's just arrived," she waved at a man that had just entered, "so it's been great talking to you."
She gave him one last smile and then went to meet the man, sitting down at a table with him. Sirius stared after her and sighed.
He turned to the bartender. "I'm gonna need a beer to put these flames out. Yo!" As the bartender passed him another bottle, Sirius said to himself. "Great, Padfoot. Real slick."
He chanced another look at the girl. She was telling the man something as she got back up again and headed into the back of the club where the bathrooms were. Sirius watched her go and pressed his lips together as he was thinking. He sighed and followed quickly after her. He watched her hair disappear through the door of the ladies' room and stood there uncertainly for a few seconds. Then he smirked and opened the door to follow. The girl was standing at the mirror, reapplying some lip gloss. When she looked up and saw him through the mirror, she sighed and turned around, putting the gloss back in her pocket.
"What did you want to do? Just drop right down on the tile and go for it?"
Sirius smirked as he stood close to her. He looked down at the floor, shook his head, and turned around. "Actually..." he pointed to the counter in front of the mirror and sat on it as though testing it's durability, "I had this counter in mind."
The girl rolled her eyes and said with sarcasm, "Great, that would be very, very comfortable. Yeah."
The two of them looked at each other, both holding back a smirk. "It could be," Sirius agreed.
She looked away, biting her lip.
Sirius continued, "Actually, I came in here to save you from making a big mistake with that older guy."
She looked back at him, pretending to be impressed. "Really?? So I could go on to a bigger one with a young guy like yourself?"
Sirius grinned. "Maybe..."
The girl sighed and started to walk away.
"No?" Sirius followed her.
She turned around. "I've got to be at work very early in the morning." She exited the ladies' room and proceeded back out into the club area.
James was now leaning up against the bar, trying to locate where Sirius had gone. The girl walked quickly past him and, without looking at him, said, "Your friend was magnificent."
James stared after her with his mouth wide open. Sirius appeared at his side, smirking.
James turned toward him, looked back at the girl, then back at him in disbelief. "Nooooooo."
Sirius grinned.
A/N: I'd be very happy to hear what you think in a review. Thanks for reading! If you liked this, you may want to check out my other fics, Padfoot Prohibited and it's sequel Black Blood, which is still in progress. Thanks!