Disclaimer; I do not own Glee!
Authors Note: So...This idea came to me one night when I was reading fan fictions with Cassie x Rachel pairings, and I was kinda disappointed by how little fictions of this pair there was. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a diehard Faberry shipper all the way but I just love all the tension between Cassie and Rachel, so I thought I'd explore it a little.
This story will be in Finn's POV, slightly AU set after Season 4 episode 3, 'Makeover' and during Season 4 Episode 4 'The Break-Up'.
And just a tip...I absolutely HATE HATE HAAAAATE Finn, so anything positive in this fic concerning him, I assure you, it was painful to write.
Summary; Finn comes to New York to surprise Rachel, and is shocked by what he finds when he peeks into his girlfriend's dance class. Established Rachel x Cassandra. Not for Finn fans.
Rating; M for language.
Pair; Established Rachel Berry x Cassandra July (unrequited Finnchel)
It had been three months since he had last seen Rachel, last heard her voice and laugh or seen that sparkle in her eyes whenever she looked at him. I mean, sure, she was high-maintenance sometimes, overbearing and kinda annoying when she went off in one of her rambles about God knows which Broadway show, but she was his girlfriend and he loved her.
To say he missed her would be an understatement.
So, when she opened the door, berating Kurt for leaving his keys once again behind, and instead say his wide grin, he assumed that the look of shock that crossed her face was because she had missed him just as much.
It was with great enthusiasm that he took her petite form in his arms, hugging her tightly and inhaling the scent of her shampoo deeply. She stiffened for a moment, her arms hanging limply at her sides. He knew she was probably surprised, so he just tightened his grip to encourage and reassure her he was really there.
It was only a few more moments after that she broke out of her shock and lifted her arms in return, twining them around his neck.
"Finn! I can't believe...I mean, what are you doing here!" She chirped, her voice more high-pitched than usual but he knew that he had giving her quite the shock with his surprise visit.
He pulled back from her embrace long enough to indulge her with an affectionate smile and a soft peck on the lips. "It's kinda a long story but...I missed you."
"I, ah, I...come in," Rachel stuttered, stepping aside and waving him in. He took her offering, stepping into the apartment, taking only a second to look around before his eyes returned to her.
His petite girlfriend was twirling a strand of dark, wavy hair around one finger, her eyes looking everywhere but him and a thin sheen of sweat was beading across her hairline. Finn's brow furrowed in concern.
"Rach," he began, stepping closer and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, his concern growing when she seemed to flinch away from his touch, "is everything ok? You're kinda pale and you're sweating."
If anything, she seemed to go even whiter at his question. "Of course everything is ok, Finn. I'm just - I'm just surprised to see you. I-I was practicing a routine for my dance class and I got a little into it I guess...I wasn't expecting company." A nervous hand raked through her hair and Finn seemed to notice for the first time how different she looked.
"Oh, ok. Well, cool," he said with his most charming grin, causing Rachel to smile tightly at him.
"Um...let me get you something to drink, you're probably parched," the dark-haired diva spat out quickly before turning and scurrying into the open kitchen, leaving her dumbfounded boyfriend behind.
Finn just watched her go with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes. He was understandably confused...Sure, he hadn't expected her to be exactly happy about three months of no communication, but he had never known her to act like she was now. He had expected her to squeal and thrown herself into his arms, proclaiming in way too many words, most of which he didn't know, just how much she had missed him and loved him. Hell, he might have even expected her to be angry and yell at him for a few minutes before he'd smile at her, apologize and tell her he loved her and then she would proceed with the afore mentioned squealing and proclaiming...
But this...she was being all shifty and twitchy and nervous, not to mention how she had reacted to his touch. This Rachel closely resembled the guilty Rachel he knew, but it wasn't exactly the same. It was almost as if she was scared to be in the same room as him.
But no, he thought, shaking his head at his own foolishness. That couldn't be it. She must just be in shock.
Before he had time to deliberate it further, Rachel returned with a tall glass of water, handing it to him with a soft smile. Their eyes met for a swift second before the brunette Diva turned and lead him toward the couch in the middle of the room.
He followed, taking a long swig from his glass and setting it on the coffee table even as he settled himself next to her, throwing a heavy arm across her shoulders. Instead of leaning into the caress like she usually would, though, Rachel pulls away and flashes him a soft, unenthusiastic smile.
"I'm sorry Finn, but it's been a pretty long and laborious day and I'm quite exhausted, so if you don't mind, I'd like to turn in for the night. I have an early class and I'd like to be well rested and refreshed for it. Um, make yourself at home, if you need anything I'll be in the bathroom preparing for bed."
"Oh, yeah. Sure," he stutters in return, retrieving his arm and watching silently as she stands and makes her way toward what he can only assume is her bed space, pulling aside a white sheet and stepping inside.
His lips are pursed and eyebrows drawn together in thought, until a soft smile pulls at his lips.
Of course. It all makes sense now. He certainly shocked Rachel with his surprise visit and that, added to her exhaustion is no doubt the reason for her strange mood.
It's another hour and a half before he joins her in the bedroom, but that's no surprise. He's well versed in Rachel's intricate and long nightly ritual, which includes showering, shaving, moisturizing and a bunch of other stuff he has no idea about.
Rachel is already in bed, the bedspread drawn up underneath her chin while she lays flat on her back, as he strips off his polo and jeans, leaving him in a white undershirt and a pair of boxers. He slips easily, if not a little clumsily into the bed, also reclining on his back.
Things are awkward and tense as they lay there in silence, both starring up at the ceiling, but he knows as he drifts asleep that tomorrow things will be better. That they'll talk, he'll explain everything and Rachel will be back to her old self, happy to see him and as bubbly as ever.
Yeah, tomorrow.
Only tomorrow he wakes up to an empty bed. He sits up, blearily rubbing at his blurry eyes and looking around for his girlfriend. Not seeing her anywhere in the room, he pulls the covers away and stumbles from the bed, stretching the sleep from his muscles and popping his bones before he pulls on his clothes and goes searching, expecting to find the brunette diva in the kitchen making him breakfast - that he has no doubt she would have surprised him in bed with if he hadn't woken up.
Instead, he finds Kurt.
"Hey little brother," he greets, giving a small smile.
"Morning..." The male Diva greets cautiously, flipping an egg. Finn uses the moment to take a look around the apartment, not spotting his girlfriend anywhere in sight.
"Hey," he says, getting Kurt's attention, "Where's Rachel?"
Kurt takes a quick glance at the clock hanging on the far wall before turning his attention back to his breakfast. "Right now, she's in Dance class."
"Oh..." the taller boy stated, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um...do you know when it lets out?"
"Yep," Kurt replies, lightly popping his 'p'. "Lets out in an hour."
Finn is silent for a moment before he smiled even more brightly, lightly clapping his step-brother on the back. "Can you tell me where it is? I wanna surprise her...take her to lunch or something."
"Sure," Kurt says, giving Finn his full attention for the first time and flashing him a smile.
A half-hour later, Finn is approaching the door to Rachel's dance class with a large smile and a small bouquet of random flowers he picked up from a vendor on the side of the street. They're nothing special, but he knows how big of a sucker his girlfriend is for romantic gestures and he's sure that this and his offer to take her to lunch will surely earn her forgiveness for not calling for the last three months.
As sits on the benches lining the wall opposite the door, waiting for the class to dismiss, he listens to the yelling of what is no doubt the professor...or instructor?
He doesn't really know what a dance teacher at one of the country's best Dramatic Arts schools would be called.
"Muffin-top, I said drop a few pounds, not gain twenty! I'm surprised the poor toddler that agreed to be your partner hasn't thrown his back out yet just from trying to pick you up out of that dip! Less is more, Muffin! Less is more! "
"Schwimmer, get that leg up! Higher! Higher! I swear, you have the flexibility and sexual appeal of a steel pole! Stop getting lost in the candy land nightmare of your own mind and focus on actually dancing instead of galloping around like a baby cow just learning how to walk!"
"Stumbelina, I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but you're doing worse than Schwimmer! Pick your ass up and do it again, this time preferably without tripping over your own unrealistically large elephant feet and letting your giant melon tits throw you off balance!"
Wow...what a bitch.
It's goes on like that for another ten minutes before an enraged scream makes him jump a foot, at least, and nearly shit his pants.
"Ugh! I can't take it anymore! You're horrible dancing is giving me a migraine!" There's a few seconds of eerie silence, and Finn didn't think that professors - instructors? - were allowed to talk to their students that way. "Out! All of you, except you, Schwimmer."
Finn perks up at these words, a smile curving his lips as he waits expectantly for Rachel to file out the door.
One by one, the students all but run out of the class, all wearing some variation of unitards or tights with bags slung over their shoulder. Many carry a thermos or water bottle, drinking greedily and they all wear looks of terror.
He really can't blame them.
He waits till the last student files out the door before his smile drops and his brows draw together. Confused, he stands and makes his way to the still open door and peeks inside, thinking that maybe Rachel is still gathering her things. Instead, he finds an empty studio, mirrors covering each wall and a few ballet Barres pushed to one side.
Growing even more confused, he turns, eyeing the hallway. With a shrug, he concludes that he must have missed Rachel leaving. After all, she is really small and she could have been hidden from his view behind one of the taller students.
He's about to turn and leave, reaching into his pocket to grab his phone when a soft sound reaches his ears, and he freezes.
It kinda sounded like a...moan.
Instantly, he's concerned that someone might be in pain - or that this crazy bitch of a Dance teacher might be murdering his girlfriend - he steps further into the room, looking around more intently. It's then that he spots a door on the far right side of the studio, the door slightly ajar and a light shining through the crack.
He makes his way over, leaning as close to the door as he can without pressing against it, and listens.
"Cassie," he hears in a soft whisper, in a voice that he knows well. But, it doesn't sound like she's in pain. It sounds more like she's...
No. That's not right.
He shuffles closer, peeking through the crack in the door and is both shocked and horrified by what he sees.
There, perched on the edge of the office's desk, is his girlfriend. Which, okay, wouldn't be a big deal in itself. But the blond woman that's standing between Rachel's legs, her hands on his girlfriend's waist and her lips pressing kissing along the column of the Diva's neck is a very big deal. Well, that and the fact that Rachel's head is thrown back in pleasure - her lips swollen and parted, chest heaving with her rapid breaths -, her tanned arms are wrapped around a pale neck and her black tights clad legs are wrapped tightly around the bond's waist.
So, needless to say, yeah, he's shocked. And slightly turned on. But mostly shocked.
Before he regains his bearings and has enough sense to flee, the blond - Cassie, he assumes - lifts her head and locks eyes with the brunette. Finn is doubly shocked by how beautiful this woman is, with her cascading blond waves and finely chiseled body. Her bright blue eyes hold a softness and fondness that he is familiar with and a small smile curves her lips. One pale hand lifts from its perch on Rachel's waist to gently brush a fallen strand of hair from the Diva's face.
"Now are you ready to tell me what's wrong, Schwimm?" There's a smug, arrogant lilt to 'Cassie's' voice, as if the woman knows that she's won, but beneath that is something else that Finn can't really identify...but it sounds a lot like love.
"Cassie..." Rachel beseeches, and it might be the tone of her voice or the way her eyes drop to the floor that causes Cassie's face to cloud with concern.
The blond gently grasps the diva's chin and just as gently raises her face so their eyes meet again. "Rachel...baby, tell me what's wrong? Was it what I said in class today? Because I already told you that I didn't mean it and I'm sorry, but I can't give any of the other student's reason to think there's anything-"
Rachel presses a single finger against the blonds lips to silently shush her, "No, it's not that. I understand that."
"Then what, Rach? Tell me," She pleads, and Finn can't help but think that such a thing as pleading seems out of place for this woman.
Rachel heaves a sigh and pulls Cassie closer, gently resting her forehead against the older woman's collarbone. "Finn showed up at the loft last night..." Both Cassie and Finn stiffen at the brunette's soft, hesitant declaration and, though the former army-boy knows he should probably take this opportunity flee, he doesn't.
Instead, he stays to see the blond try to pull out of his girlfriend's arms and to see his girlfriend tighten her hold when she does. It doesn't stop this 'Cassie', though...she only renews her efforts to escape.
"Stop, please." The soft plea seems to freeze the blond in her tracks, and Rachel sucks in a deep breath before she lifts her head. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd pull away from me."
Rachel's tone almost wants to make Finn step inside and gather her in his arms and comfort her. He doesn't think he's ever heard her sound so defeated and vulnerable, and that's saying a lot. He restrains himself, though...he doesn't think it would be a good idea to storm in there to comfort his cheating girlfriend as she confesses about his return to her lover and he eavesdrops on the conversation.
"What did you expect me to do, Schwimmer? Leap for joy that your boy toy is in town?" The bond's voice is as hard and cold as her eyes, and it causes Rachel to flinch.
"Please, Cassie, it's not like that..." This time, when the dance instructor tries to extract herself from Rachel's embrace, the brunette lets her go and Cassie immediatly takes three steps back. Her arms cross across her chest in an intimidating fashion.
"What is it like, huh? Now that he's here to fuck you, probably with the lights off, under the covers and in the missionary position like the pathetic little buffoon he is, you don't need me anymore? Is that what this is about?"
Finn thinks he should be insulted...but what's wrong with making love to his girlfriend under the covers with the lights off? And hey, he likes the missionary position! Wait...that's the one with the guy on top, right?
"No!" Rachel's tone causes Finn to flinch, both from its forcefulness and the fact that she sounds so vehemently disgusted. "He hasn't touched me like that, I swear!" Seemingly realizing that she's practically yelling for the first time, the brunette takes a deep breath to steady herself and locks eyes with Cassie, who's surprisingly silent.
"He didn't touch me...like that. He just showed up and I was surprised and..." She heaves a sigh, as if she's never been at a loss for words before, and Finn doesn't think she ever has.
I mean, it is Rachel, after all.
"I won't lie to you and say that he didn't kiss me, because he did," Cassie tenses again, and Rachel hurriedly continues, "But It was like...I couldn't...Ugh!" The blond jumps slightly, as does Finn, and Rachel stands to clear the distance, reaching behind the bond's neck to pull her into a forceful kiss. It's all teeth and tongue and passion and Cassie immediatly responds, - almost automatically - her hands gently grasping Rachel's hips, and Finn can't look away.
If he actually had enough dignity to tell Puck about this, his mowhawked best friend would be so jealous.
When the two women pull away, they're both breathing hard, Rachel's hands are buried in Cassie's blond hair and the dance instructor's hands are gripping the brunette's waist more firmly. They're pressed together now, not a single millimeter of space between them - Finn doesn't think even a sheet of paper would fit between them - and Cassie's face is full of want and need.
"It wasn't like that," the brunette explains, "That passion, that fire, those - as cliché as it sounds - fireworks every time you kiss me or touch me. I only feel that way with you, Cassie. Every time he tried to touch me, it took everything I had not to pull away. All I could think about was your touch, so soft but demanding, so tender and confident...Every time he put his rough, clumsy hands on me I wanted to puke because all I wanted, all I could think about, was you."
Finn's heart and stomach both sink. He can't believe what he's hearing...the girl that was once so in love with him that she sabotaged his relationship with Quinn - two times, mind you - made him put a kitten calendar in his locker, used Puck and Jessie to make him jealous, agreed to marry him...The girl that had once told him she was sure he was her soul mate was now saying that his touch disgusted her.
"And it made me realize...I don't love him, Cassie...at least not romantically. Maybe I never really did. Because he has never made me feel, not in one single instant, the things that you make me feel with just a look. Not because I'm sleeping with you, but because I love you."
Cassie's face has softened so much the Snuggle fabric softener bear would be jealous and her bright blue eyes are alight with what he is now sure is love. She leans down to kiss Rachel again but this time the caress is soft, almost as if the blond is trying to pour all her emotions into that one kiss. Rachel lifts a hand to cup the bond's cheek tenderly and when they pull apart, their foreheads lean against one another and their eyes lock.
"You're going to break up with him?"
The usually hard ass dance teacher sounds so hopeful and vulnerable that Rachel laughs softly, and gently kisses her again. "Yes."
"I love you."
Finn can't help but feel like he's intruding at the blonds soft-spoken words and he quickly gathers what's left of his heart and dignity up off the floor and makes a hasty effort, dropping the flowers on the floor as he goes.
Despite what everyone thinks, Finn's not a fool. Well, at least not when it comes to this.
He knows he's lost Rachel. He knows that she's no longer in love with him, if she ever really was. And no, he didn't need to hear Rachel's declaration to know any of that. He could see it in her face when she looked at her blond dance teacher. Well, that, and there was some part of him that knew something was different last night.
He was stupid enough to try and pass it off as her being tired.
Still, he had no idea how to begin to process everything he feels. He does still love Rachel, and a part of him, the mature man, just wants her to be happy, no matter what. And she looked pretty happy with Cassie, even if the woman seems like a huge, raging bitch, worse than Santana, Quinn and Coach Sylvester. He doesn't know how anyone can possibly be happy with a woman like that, but then again, he should know better than to doubt Rachel.
Because, no matter how annoying people think she is at first, Rachel has this little knack of making you fall in love with her. He doesn't know what it is - I mean, she can be totally annoying and selfish and high- maintenance and she's kind of a dictator when she wants to be - but there's just something about Rachel that you can't resist.
After all, he can't even describe how much Santana, Quinn and Kurt used to hate Rachel, and now their her three best friends (as much as Santana will deny it).
That and the fact that he's pretty sure Santana is a little in love with Rachel too.
So, he guesses it's not that hard to believe that a woman as bitchy as Cassie would fall in love with Rachel.
What was his point?
Oh yeah, the mature man in him wants Rachel to be happy, even if it's not with him...
But the boy part of him, the part that's pissed that his girlfriend - whom he loves- has been cheating on him with her woman teacher just wants to scream. He wants to ask her how she could do this to him. He wants to punch something and kick a poor chair. But mostly, he wants to go straight to the NYADA dean's office and tell them all about 'Cassie's' affair with her student.
Because he's pretty sure that's against the rules.
He's also pretty sure - and pretty glad - that the man part is in control right now. Because, despite how pissed and heartbroken he is, he doesn't want to hurt Rachel and he's pretty sure that getting her lover fired and his girlfriend - well, ex-girlfriend now, he supposes - suspended from the school of her dreams, and in doing so stomping on her Broadway dream, is the best way to do it.
So he sits on the couch and waits for her to come home, trying to sort out his thoughts and find a way to fix his shattered heart.
It's almost six at night by the time Rachel comes home.
He looks at her, taking in her tired and cautious eyes, the slump of her shoulder and her careful steps. He searches his already muddled head for something to say, but, like always, Rachel beats him to it.
"Finn. How long have you been here alone?" She asks softly with something that sounds kinda like concern. But that can't be right. She doesn't care about him, and how dare she act like she does.
Feeling angry again, he stands. "Long enough. The real question is, how long have you been screwing your dance teacher?" He doesn't know if it's his words or his tone that make her freeze, but she's standing there gaping like a fish and he takes the chance to talk why she's silent. "I went by your dance class today...I wanted to surprise you and take you out to lunch and try to explain why I hadn't called you. I wanted to make it up to you. Instead, I find you making out with your dance teacher." She doesn't respond, so he continues, his voice growing in volume with his anger. "Of course, it wasn't just making out, was it? No, it was declarations of love and promises to break up with me and pet names," He says in disgust with a sour face. "I mean, what the hell is 'Schwimmer'?"
"How much did you hear?" Rachel interrupts his rant, and she has the nerve to sound mad.
He scoffs. "Oh, I heard enough. I heard you tell her how much you loved her and how you were gonna break up with me. And then I left."
"Finn," she begins softly, as if she's afraid to set him into a rage which, hey, she's not that far off base.
"Don't patronize me! I wanna know! How long! How long have you been fucking her! How long have you been in love with her?!" His face is red with anger now and she flinches back from him. He should feel happy about that, but all he is, is ashamed that he's made her afraid of him.
"I've been fucking her for a little more than three months and I've been in love with her for a little less than one," Rachel says softly, her eyes down casted in her shame.
He feels even worse.
"Why? How could you do this to me?"
The inner Puck in his head says bad move bro.
Rachel explodes, her eyes darting to him and her face growing red with her own anger. "How could I?!" she exclaims, closing the distance between them and poking a finger hard into his chest. "How could you!? Four months, Finn! Four fucking months, and not a single word!" She pokes him again at her emphasized 'fucking', and he winces at the force of it. Well, that and the fact that he's never heard Rachel cuss like that before.
Then again, he's quickly realizing that this isn't his Rachel. New York has certainly changed her.
"What the hell was I supposed to think, Finn!? You left me! You threw me on a train to New York and you just left me. And then, I don't hear anything from you. Not even a God damn letter!"
"I was trying to help you!" Finn exclaimed, trying his damnest to defend his actions. "I only wanted to help you live your dreams!"
"I hated you for what you did to me in that train station! I hated you," she declares, making him cast his eyes down and cross his arms protectively across his chest. Her voice softens slightly and he can tell from the thickness in her voice that her eyes are tearing up. "But then when I got to New York I thought just how much you loved me...and how hard that must have been for you and..I thought," She pauses just as he meets her eyes again, "this, this is what a man looks like. This is how a man loves, but you...not telling me where you were for four months," He turns away from her, a heavy hand rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to hide his own shame, "and then coming here without telling me, eavesdropping on a private conversation and then yelling at me later for what you heard, that is not being a man, Finn."
"I was trying to give you your freedom!" He proclaims and he whirls back to face her, almost desperate to make her understand.
"I don't need you to give me my freedom! I am a grown woman. I don't need to you to hide from me to keep me from doing what is right for me!"
"Oh, like that Cassie chick?" He throws back in her face, his expression morphing into a mix between disgust and anger.
"Do you think that I meant for this to happen, Finn?! Don't you think I would rather have been with you?" She asks, stepping closer. "I wanted more than anything to be with you, to have you here with me, but you weren't! And no, I'm not saying that sleeping with Cassandra was right or that I was justified in my actions, but Dammit Finn!" She stomps an angry foot, and any other time he might have found the action adorable.
"She paid attention to me and she made me feel wanted." He looks down again, kicking himself for ever making her feel like she wasn't wanted. "And I missed you and I wanted you and when I was with her, I didn't feel like I was unworthy anymore!"
She's full out crying now and, against his better judgment, he steps forward and pulls her into his arms. "And then...things started changing," she said against his chest, her tears soaking through his t-shirt. As much as he doesn't want to know, he needs to know so he keeps listening. "She made me feel things that I was terrified of. I tried...God, how I tried to fight it. And every time I had pushed those feelings away and convinced myself that I didn't feel anything for her, that I loved you, she would look at me...just look at me and I couldn't breathe."
Her hands lift to ball into the front of his shirt, as if she's desperately trying to hold him to her, to keep him from running as she speaks again. "The more time I spent with her, the worse it got. I stopped going over to her condo just to have sex. We talked and watched moves and had dinner and...She would laugh at something she was reading or watching on TV and I couldn't look away. She would say something and I had to kiss her. She would hold me as I cried and when we were sleeping. And every little thing she did, it made it harder and harder for me to tell myself that it was just sex, that I was just lonely and using her to forget how much being without you hurt." She pulled away from his, her red, tear-soaked eyes meeting his as she silently pleaded with him. "Please, believe me when I tell you I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to fall for her. I never wanted to hurt you. "
Every word she spoke broke his heart just a little more, but he could tell just from the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes that every bit of it was truth...and with that revelation, ever bit of his anger disappeared. He knew she meant it when she said she never wanted to hurt him. Rachel might be vicious and cut-throat when it came to performing and her future, but in every other aspect, she didn't have a mean bone in her body.
So with a heavy heart, he pulled her closer. "I know. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I just...I don't know what to do about this, Rachel," he said with a heavy sigh as she rested her head once again on his chest. He buried his face in the top of her head, breathing in her scent as he tightened his hold on her. "I love you...so much. We were supposed to get married and start a family and live our dreams," he sighed again, "and now what? I know that's not going to become a reality. I mean, didn't you say she was on Broadway, right? She's got like three percent body fat." He states incredulously, self-loathing evident in his tone. "Who am I? I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely no direction."
"Don't you get it?" she asked softly, not even bothering to lift her head as she spoke. "No matter how rich or famous or successful I become, no matter whom I'm with... When it comes to you, I'm...I'm always gonna be that ...moon-eyed girl that freaked you out at our first glee rehearsal." This time, she did lift her head from his chest and met his eyes, smiling softly if not a little sadly and reaching up to cup his face in her petite hands.
"You are the first boy that made me feel loved, and sexy and visible. You are my first love...and...I wanted more than anything for you to be my last. I can't help how I feel about Cassandra...and I won't deny it or refuse it. But you...Finn, you are the first person outside of my fathers who made me feel important and wanted. You're the first person who ever stuck up for me. You taught me that not everything is about me. You taught me humility. You taught me to believe that I am more than just my voice. You were nice to me and loved me."
With each word, her eyes bored into his with an intensity that made him believe every single word from her mouth, but he still wasn't convinced of anything. "That's nothing special," he said with a shake of his head, nearly dislodging her grip.
She just smiled. "No, it might not seem like anything special. But for someone who's been bullied and tortured and treated like the gum on the bottom of a shoe, Finn, that's everything. You made me feel human and worth something. That's who you are, Finn Hudson. That's who you are."
The words aren't spoken with malice or venom, but with a gentle plea and it all but breaks what's left of him. He steps from her arms and turns away, making his way over toward the wall and leaning heavily against it. He can take the malice that was in her voice, the anger and the yelling any day. It's the sincerity of those words, pleading with him to believe that he was more than the nothing he felt like that kills him. Because he feels like he's something to her.
"What am I going to do with my life, Rachel? I don't have my girl, I don't have a job I don't have a place in this world..."
She comes up behind him, her steps almost silent, and wraps her arms around his waist, leaning heavily against his back. "You have you. And that's better than anyone else on the planet as far as I'm concerned. As for your place in this world...it's whatever you want it to be. I've always believed in you, Finn...you just have to believe in you, too."
He smiles, in spite of himself. "What's a crappy 70's band got to do with this?"
His efforts are worthwhile when Rachel chuckles softly against his back. "I'll have you know, I quite like U-2."
They spend the next few moments in silence, Finn absorbing as much of her smell and the feel of her pressed against him as he can. "I'll always love you, ya know?" he says softly, turning his head to look at her before turning completely and pulling her tightly against him. He knows he's savoring his last embrace, even as he bends closer and buries his nose in the sweet, familiar scent of her hair.
He feels her fingers thread through what's left of his hair, holding him gently to her as she, too, savors the moment. "I know. I'll always love you, too."
He pulls away just in time to see her sad smile. "It won't be the same."
"I know." And with that, she pulls him down into their last kiss, their lips pressing together gently and moving in a familiar rhythm.
It's as heartbreakingly bitter-sweet as he expected it to be.
Authors Note; So, that's it for Finn Finds Out! I hope you all enjoyed it...I thought that was a great place to end the story. And yes, the whole time I was writing that last bit, I was totally listening to Glee's version of 'The Scientist'.
Don't get me wrong; as much as I hate Finn (and I really hate him) this was kinda sad to write when you're listening to that damn song on repeat.
Also, just as a side note, all of that Rachel Dialogue about Finn being so great and wonderful...yeah, TOTAL BULLSHIT. I thought he was a dick the entire time they were together...well, MOST of the time anyway. He never defended or stood up for her, he's much too stupid and untalented for someone like Rachel and he treated her like crap...I could go on and on (basically, I believe that EVERYTHING Santana ever said about him is true). But yeah.
Right now, I'm working on a 'Quinn Finds Out' second installment, but it won't be posted under this story when I do post it.
