I strolled into the lab, humming, but I froze when I saw Tony lying on the floor. He was on his back, arms limp at his sides, his legs straight. Blood was pooled around his middle -it was leaking from a slash in his stomach.

I ran to him and dropped to my knees beside him. The metallic smell of his blood wafted up towards me and I blanched.

"Oh god, oh my god, Tony are you okay?" My hands fluttered uselessly over his body, "Tony, look at me, shit, Tony, please."

My voice had gone up an octave and cracked halfway through my sentence.

There was a lump in my throat and I knew I was probably going to start crying. Dammit.

I gave Tony a light slap across the cheek to see if he would react.

He didn't.

I swallowed, and I felt my eyes water. I blinked and tears started dribbling down my cheeks and dripping onto Tony's face. He looked so peaceful, and pale, and dead.

"Tony," I whispered, "Please, please wake up."

He didn't stir.

"Please, god, don't be dead. I need you, fuck, Tony, I need you."

I had started sobbing, and I pressed my sleeves my my face and wept.

"Calm down, Spideyboy."

My head shot up. Wade was leaning against the wall, watching me. He was frowning.

"Wade!" I wailed, "Wade, get a doctor, oh god - "

I fell silent and stared at him. There was blood on his clothes, and his sword was lying at his feet, and it glimmered with red liquid.

"No, no, no," I babbled hysterically, "Oh my god, no, you can't, you can't, no, no, NO!"

Wade tilted his head, and sighed.

"Why do you like him so much?" He said, and then his lips quirked up in his ever-charming smile, "Well, he's dead now, so you can like me now!"

I gaped at him, and then threw myself at him, punching him and screaming and crying, but he just slammed me against the door and leered down at me.

"Didn't know you were so desperate to have me, Petey."

"You killed Tony!" I shrieked, "You bastard - I hate you, I hate you!"

He loomed over me menacingly, and then yanked me up by the collar of my t-shirt, pressed his lips against mine, and kissed me hard on the mouth.

My eyes widened and I yanked on his hair, trying to pull him off, but hew must have taken this for passion because his stuck his hand down my pants.

His fingers tickled my groin, and for a single moment, I gasped in pleasure, but the sharp scent of blood snapped me out of my daze.

I threw him off and he landed nimbly on his feet.

I was fuming.

"Don't touch me," I seethed, "Don't you ever dare, you son of a bitch."

"My mother was a lovely woman." He replied, pursing his lips, his head tilted to on side. He reminded me of a bird.

A beautiful, horrible fucking bird that I wanted to pluck, gut, and stomp on a few times.

"I guess we should stop playing now," Wade sighed, "Tony, wakey wakey."

He kicked the scientist in the side.

I moved to stop him, but froze when Tony muttered a curse and sat up, looking very much alive.

The brunette rubbed the back of his head, yawned, and shot Wade a scowl.

"Why couldn't you drag it out for a little longer?" He whined.

"Petey was getting upset." Wade replied, and Tony rolled his eyes.

I stood and gaped at them, and my eyes brimmed over with angry, stupid tears.

"So it was all a prank?" I said, my voice wobbly, "You were just playing a prank on stupid, dumb little Peter?"

"We just wanted to see how you'd react." Tony said, "So I played dead – your slaps hurt like a bitch, by the way – and waited to see what you'd do."

"Fake blood, and lots of makeup made it more real." Wade piped up and I scrubbed at my face with my sleeve but the fucking tears kept on coming.

"I thought you were my friends." I whispered, and Tony got up and wrapped me up in a tight hug and I flinched and struggled out of his grip, but he just pulled me back in.

Wade actually joined the embrace, so I was trapped in the middle of their arms, and my face was squished against Tony's chest. It felt rather uncomfortable, especially since I was sure that was Wade's crotch pressed against my butt.

I sniffed and finally stopped crying. Thank god for small mercies.

"Me and Tony love you a lot, kiddo. We just wanted to see if you felt the same." Wade said.

"Tony and I." Tony corrected him.

I blinked.

"You guys love me?" I repeated slowly, "But I-I thought you liked girls!"

"You're the exception." Wade muttered into my ear – and oh god, was that a tongue?

"C'mon, give us a smile," Tony stepped back, bent down, and kissed me, and Wade was sliding his hand up my shirt. I was pretty sure I was going to protest, but instead, a loud, embarrassing moan escaped my mouth when Wade nipped at my throat and Tony ground his hips against mine.

I broke away from Tony's skilful kisses, and he attached his lips to my skin and started creating a very nice hickey.

My hands fisted in his hair and Wade's hands tweaked on one of my nipples and then slid down into my jeans and cupped my butt. This time, I let him.

"So," I said between annoying mewling moans, "Is this like...polygamy?"

"It's whatever you want it to be, Spideyboy." Wade said, and Tony laughed against my skin and I smiled.

"I love you guys too." I said, and kissed them both hard on the mouth. I felt them grinning against my lips.

Smug little bastards.