So this is pretty much Lal Mirch angsting about Colonnello. It was inspired by Anya Hinamori-fukutaichou because she likes the pairing.
The characters are not mine, and if they were there would be much ColLan and DinoHibari smexing.
You idiot, following us all the way up there, interfering with me becoming an Arcobaleno. I was so upset with you…but at the same time a little happy you cared...No! What am I thinking? You were just my student. It was stupid of me to even let you have come that far. If I had stopped you you might still be here. You would never have tried to save Viper; it would have been me who was killed there. Then everything would be okay, and I wouldn't be lying here with such a feeling of regret.
I still can't understand what made me allow you to follow us as far as you did. I picked up on you being there before Reborn did. I knew you were there almost from the beginning. I suppose I just always felt safe when you were with me, like you would always have my back. And I'll admit that I was a little scared of the responsibility and power of being an Arconabaleno. Then after you interrupted, and became one of us, I pretended to be upset with you. And I really was. But at the same time I was a little bit happy and relieved that you were going to do this with me. Of course, this was nothing but selfish of me. Then you turned and said "I'll continue living. Will you come with me?" I was so close to saying "Of course!" but I knew that if I was with you I might cause even more hardships for you. So instead I just acted as if the idea was ludicrous. You told me you were kidding, and turned to walk away, calling back to me "Be well, quit being a tomboy and cure yourself of the curse quickly, hey." It took everything I had to let you go, but I knew I had to.
I knew you probably weren't lying when you said you were joking, but I never let myself fully believe it. I wanted to think that you wanted me to come with you, so all these years I've held on to that. I have also held on to the other words you told me. And that's why I've been able to return to my normal form. Even if I never approved of you taking my place, I would never dream of taking it for granted. I never used my Arconabaleno powers.
So now I will kill Byakuran, to kill the man responsible for killing the rest of our comrades. And all because of you I will be able to. All because of that feeling of safety I got when I was around you, even though you aren't here I have always been able to carry that feeling. It gives me enough courage to still fight. And even though I miss you, I know that what you did was what you wanted to, so I can try and content myself with that until it's my turn to come and join you.
This is part of a two shot, the next one will be Colonnello thinking about Lal.
Don't shoot me if you hate it. The recommended course of action is to click "Submit Review" and tell me why.
Pleeeeeeeeeeease.