THOUGHTS
I held her.
My daughter.
And the moment I felt those tiny little fingers grabbing my shirt...
The moment I felt that little body trustingly against mine...
Those big brown eyes, so reminiscent of my own, gazing at me...
I felt myself fall.
There's nothing I can do to fight it.
I don't want to fight it.
I want to feel like this forever.
Like a father.
I want to protect her, keep her safe...
Shower her with my love...
Adore her.
I'm already scared of losing her.
I already love her more than I love my life.
But.
But why am I expected to put the love I feel for her above the love I feel for him?
o+o+o
I watch him.
The love of my life.
He's fast asleep, cuddled up like a baby, as if he's bracing himself for what's to come.
My heart aches, knowing that I lied to him. I don't want to lie.
Definitely not to him.
The moment I felt those strong arms around me for the first time...
The moment those green-blue eyes, so different to my own, gazed at me with passion and love...
I felt myself fall.
I tried to fight it, even though I didn't want to.
But the fighting's long over.
I know I will feel like this forever : I belong with him. He is my home.
I want to protect him, reassure him...
Shower him with my love...
Adore him.
I'm just as scared of losing him, as he is of losing me.
I love him more than I love my life.
But.
But why am I expected to put the love I feel for him above the love I feel for her?
o+o+o
I watch him, the love of my life, fast asleep, hugging his pillow as if he's bracing himself.
I think of her, my daughter, those beautiful eyes gazing up at me so trustingly.
I love them both so much.
More than I love my life.
I feel a tear I cannot stop grazing down my face.
Why do I have to choose?