I wish I knew how to quit you!

"Hey! YOU!" Zatanna called to the figure on the shore.

23-year-old Artemis Crock turned around, "What do ya want Zatara?"

"Ugh!" Zatanna exclaimed in disgust. "Don't call me by my last name, you make me sound like a stranger." Zatanna moved closer to her, "And I am in no way a stranger Artemis."

"Fine!" Artemis stubbornly said. "What do you want Zatanna?"

"I wanna talk to you!" Zatanna was angry, Artemis could clearly tell. "Why can't you bear to be seen with me? After 8 fuckin' years of hook-ups and fishing trips, you don't have the nerve to even fuckin' friend me on facebook!"

"I have my reasons for doing so," Artemis replied, she walked away from the beach.

"Oh yeah?" Zatanna ran and jumped in front of her secret-lover. "Gimme one good reason that we can't be together? Is it because of Wally? Or because of Dick?"

"I have a child with Wally, remember?" Artemis stated. "And I even named her after you! Zatanna West-Crock is a happy child. If she's happy, I'm happy."

"Artemis, we've been fucking for over 8 years, I can tell when you're faking emotions!" Zatanna screamed at her.

Artemis fought back, "Don't you point your fingers at me! You and Dick are married, and you're expecting, right?"

"Oh please, I just messed with the test to stop the boy wonder from constantly entering me!" Zatanna snapped back.

Artemis just scoffed and started to walk away.

"We could've had a life together!" Zatanna screamed at her. "We could've ran away! Maybe to New York, gay marriage is allowed now."

Artemis stopped right in her tracks and turned around like Michael Jackson, "You think I never wanted that? Huh? You think I never wanted to just leave the team and run away?"

"Well, by judging the fact that you'd rather fuck Wally for the rest of your life then even TRY to be with me," Zatanna started. "You don't!"

"I do, okay?" Artemis confesses. "I've fantasized of that life thousands of times! But unlike you, I can live my life without faking orgasms to my husband every fucking week!"

Artemis made her way to her car, Zatanna followed her, "I wanna be with you, Zee; I really do." She lifted her left hand, "But I made a vow to Wally," the archer edged towards her bedazzled ring finger. "And I can't break it." She got into her car.

"I can tell when you're lying," Zatanna observed. "I know you don't love him, cause if you do, then look me in my eyes and tell me so." The magician leaned down to the car window and glared at Artemis with her baby blue eyes.

In defense, Artemis put on a pair of sunglasses she got in the glove-box. "I love Wally, happy?"

Zatanna sighed, "Of course you do."

Artemis then started her car, "See ya."

Instead of saying 'Goodbye,' Zatanna took a different approach, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

And yes, this is a Brokeback mountain parody.

Disclaimer: I'll never own.

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