MAY MAYHEMS
A/N: This is continuing my female Master and Doctor 10 stories. It is a sequel to "April's Fools".
Disclaimer: Don't own anything—only the Beeb does. I am not making any profit from this.
CHAPTER ONE
The Doctor took a wrench shaped device and started tinkering with his TARDIS. He had commanded the old girl to play some Jefferson Airplane as he worked, but after a moment, the centuries old Time Lord sighed. Why, oh why, had he told Martha, Donna and Rose that they could go out without him? As bad as it could sometimes get with three, young females in his ship, he missed their banter, and he even missed their practical jokes they played on him. He was so bored, he could almost scream. Tossing the wrench like device in a tool box, the Doctor decided he'd walk outside and see what mischief he could find, or create himself. He breathed the fresh, crisp London smog of a night in May as he strolled past several buildings. He was about to walk past some more buildings when he saw a familiar face. Across the street from where he stood, Koschei adjusted her jacket—this one a dark blue leather, form fitting one. Her leather pants hugged her now-female hips. Although the Doctor rarely succumbed to being sexually attracted to the opposite sex, he found himself looking at the formerly-male Time Lord in a new light. He also saw a golden opportunity which had just landed in his lap.
Clearing his throat, the Doctor cried in a loud voice, "hello, sweetie! Did you miss me?"
The Master's cold, blue eyes turned toward the sound of that voice. She moaned softly as she caught sight of the Doctor, who was crossing the street to stand in front of her.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" She shrieked. "I thought you had to go back to your old universe before this one closed."
"I have about three Earth months before that happens, give or take…" the Doctor answered, "so I decided to spend those three months with Rose."
"Oh, the child," the Master said dismissively. "How you ever managed to be attracted to her, I will never know. But then, how you can be so attracted to Earth people in general always mystifies me!"
The Doctor smiled wolfishly, ribbing, "What's the matter, darling? Jealous?"
"Hardly," the Master returned dryly. "I am her superior in every way that counts: physically, mentally, emotionally. There's nothing to be jealous about, is there?" The Doctor's grin grew wider as he noticed the Master's eyes blazing as she talked.
"Weelll," the Doctor commented, "mentally and emotionally, you don't quite measure up; however, in the physical department…" the Doctor paused to focus on the Master's chest, which heaved with anger, "I would say your 46 D sized breasts have Rose's beat, an' that's saying something!"
"I do not have a size 46 D chest!" the Master snarled. She glanced down to verify her assertion, and then looked back up at the Doctor.
"This body is smaller and currently serves my needs for a time," she defended, starting to turn away.
"I'm sure it does…" the Doctor said, following close behind. "In fact, I'm sure you are just as physically daunting as you were in a genuinely Gallifreyan body! Of course, despite the fact that you probably haven't changed overmuch, there's something I'll bet your now-human body can't do." The Doctor walked away from the Master. The Master turned around, seeing her enemy departing. She told herself that she was better off not knowing what scheme the Doctor had in mind, but then, curiosity got the better of her.
"What can't it do?" she yelled, running after him. The Doctor walked quickly back toward his TARDIS. As he'd hoped, Koschei followed until he let both of them into his console room. "What can't it do?" she asked again.
"Oh, it's nothing…forget I mentioned anything," the Doctor said, grabbing his tool chest and fiddling with his wires. The Master came up to him and viciously snatched the tool chest from the pinstriped Time Lord.
"Hey!!" the Doctor protested, looking up at her.
Koschei stared at her nemesis, but the Doctor told her, "use that ice-freezing stare on someone who's easily intimidated."
"If you don't tell me what I wish to know," Koschei promised, her eyes fixing him with a deadly gaze, "I'll make your life a living hell!"
"Is that supposed to be a threat, or a promise, or…is it just your subtle way of saying how much you longed to see me again?" the Doctor breathed in a mock-seductive voice.
The Master rolled her eyes, saying, "a thousand millennium away from you wouldn't make me miss you!" When she detected a hint of longing in the Doctor's brown eyes, the Master said victoriously, "Ahhh! I get it! All this is because you were bored, right? You wanted me to keep you company!"
"Actually…" the Doctor started, and then finished, as he patted his pocket, "my homing beacon's receiver told me you were in the area, and I decided to coax you away from your latest plan to take over Earth!"
"'Homing beacon'"? the Master asked incredulously. "If you have a homing beacon in your pocket, then I'm Groucho Marx!"
"You doubt my sincerity, Groucho?" the Doctor mocked, growing slightly annoyed.
"Yes, I do," Koschei replied. "If you really had one, you would have found me right after your little April prank you pulled. It is now the second week in May and I haven't left this universe. What took you so long to find me? Got stuck in time travel traffic?" The evil Time Lord/Lady turned to leave. The Doctor took out some glasses from his pocket, and a bottle of some very dark blue colored wine. The Master turned back when she heard a fizzling sound.
"Remember that thing I said your human body couldn't do?" the Doctor asked. "Well, I'm willing to bet that you can't hold down your liquor, especially one glass of Denivian wine." He held out one bubbling glass to her.
The Master snatched it, saying, "Oh, yeah? I'll show you! I can out drink you any day of the week!" They made their way to the pool room with the bar.