Nothing here is mine. No one pay me to write it. It's just love, guys.
Challenge: none
Rating: Mature
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Mentions of Scott McCall, Mentions of Allison Argent, Mentions of Lydia Martin, Mentions of Isaac Lahey, Mentions of Jackson Whittemore, Mentions of Malia Tate, Mentions of Chris Argent, Mentions of Sheriff Stilinski
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Suicidal Toughs, Everybory Dies
Summary: They were young and after this they were busy and after this they were sad and after this they were scared and after this they were lonely and after this they were full of pain and chaos and lost and after this they were helpless and after this they are here. Just them.
Spoiler: 4x12
Beta: No one, and I'm sorry because English isn't my first language.
Date: September 15, 2014 (yeah, I took a long time to deal with it. This fic mess with me)
Chapters: 01 - It's complete
NA: I was reading "But I'll Be Close Behind", by Vague_Shadows, posted at AO3, and this fic makes me so sad! I want so much have sure they can be happy but I can't believe in this anymore. So I wrote it. I hope you enjoy.
Our time
Stiles unlock the gun; he stares the target and takes a deep breath. His hand is trembling and this fact is annoying, but he gives the shoot anyway, and he misses the target but it drops the stand. It isn't so far.
"Shit!" His hand hurts. His little finger is really a lost to shoot. He locks the gun with difficult before it falls on the floor.
He just learns how use a gun after his dad dies. Sometimes he wishes had listened more his dad and had never taken a gun. He could continuous fight just with a baseball bat and he should die young.
Sometimes he wishes to die.
"Hey." The touch in his face erases his tears and he smiles.
"I'm fine. Just old." Stiles answers the silent question and when Derek laughs everything comes back to the right place with this sound.
Stiles sits at the wood table and takes a mug of tea. They don't have coffee in this place but it isn't important anymore. The tea is cold but it's ok. He watches during some time Derek takes some dead animal to the porch and he cleans the meat. They have food, they have a well back of the house and they have a thin mattress where they hug together every night and they try to forget all the nightmares before the sun rises.
Stiles had the chance to run. So many times.
Jackson went to London before Lydia died. No, he did before Allison died. After it, Isaac run to France with Chris. But Chris came back and, after some time, he went to Mexico. Then he died. With Parrish and a lot of other people. Stiles still can hear Lydia screaming in the dark.
Then his dad died and Stiles learn to shoot because the pain was so much he wishes to the first time really fells some power. Take someone's life is a danger kind of power.
Scott stopped him in his crazy, but that was enough to Malia and she disappeared in the desert. Stiles enjoys think she's still alive, supporting the legend of the Desert Wolf. Became a legend is a great end to anyone. They all deserve it.
Scott deserves it but all he got was a hungry pack of omegas wrecking his body to feed some imaginary kind of power. The blood of the true alpha is a strong legend. This is one of the most frequently Stiles' nightmares. So many people died this day. He wished die. He can remember his body falling over another body, the smell of blood stole all his senses and everything was chaos and pain until he fades.
He woke up in this house, in the same thin mattress. Derek was there, keeping him alive with cold water and salt meat.
Derek didn't talk during more than a week after Stiles woke up. Stiles cried and screamed and collapsed more than he can count, Derek just keep him from hurt himself or run out.
Stiles doesn't know where they are until now and he doesn't want to know. He doesn't know how long they're there. He doesn't know what happened that day or how they survive. He doesn't know, but he believes they're the only survives – maybe not in the town, but in the pack, maybe in the supernatural world.
Stiles' still human and it makes him laugh alone sometimes. He was bitten, scratch, throw in gore things, possessed, mutilated, and he's still human. He limps, he lost two fingers, he has more scars and broken bones than he can count, he can't breathe sometimes and he thinks he forgot his soul in some dirty place, but he's still human. And he's alive.
Derek is part of the reason he's still alive. Derek's a survivor and Stiles can't understand what push him to just keep going, but he has a sure: Derek can't loses everyone. He can lose most of people he loves; he can lose everything he has. But not everyone.
And Stiles is the last one in his life.
"When did you give up me?" Derek's sitting in front of him now. Sometimes, Stiles loses time, but he doesn't worry about it anymore. They don't care.
Derek hunts and brings food to them. Stiles reads – he doesn't know where the books come from, he doesn't care what they talk about, he reads because it's like lives another reality for some time and it's good –, he take care of a cow, a horse and a dog and he cultivates a little garden, but he's sure he forget about all this stuff sometimes, so Derek does it too. Sometimes he's sure they're supernatural creatures and Derek needs to stop him to shoot the dog or something like it. Or it's a vivid nightmare.
Sometimes they talk and drink tea.
"You were young."
Stiles smiles. He misses Derek's voice sometimes. He smiles because it makes Derek smiles too and he got used take Derek's smile as a victory.
"I'm old long ago." He answer like it's a game and he's winning.
He knows his feelings for Derek and he knows Derek's feelings for him. They both know. During a long time.
He knows Derek saves him because this, but not just because this. He knows Derek feeds him and takes care of him day after day like his existence is just to do it because this, but not just because this. They are more to each other than any word can say.
"We were always busy." That makes Stiles laugh, but his laugh became a sob and he's crying. They're always busy trying to survive.
It's a lie. They never care about survive, they all always were so ready to give their own life to safe the others and Stiles knows that is the reason he wants so much to die – he wants to die for all his dead. And, in the same time, he doesn't want to die because he knows Derek's ready to die for him.
They were young and after this they were busy and after this they were sad and after this they were scared and after this they were lonely and after this they were full of pain and chaos and lost and after this they were helpless and after this they are here.
Derek's holding his hands – his instable, mutilated, marked, callused hands – and looking him like he uses to look him when Stiles loses himself in his mind or in his nightmares. Stiles tries talk him he's ok now, he's still there, but if he opens his mouth he'll start to cry again and he doesn't want it, so he just wave to tranquilized Derek.
"I never give up you." Derek says, sad and with all the force of the universe.
"I love you." Stiles isn't smiling because it's the most serious thing he ever said. And it needs so much to be said even they don't know what it means anymore.
"I love you too."
That's a good reason to be alive.
The End
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