As much as Rin admires Haruka he hates the boy at the same time...because as much as Haruka loves the water he's not serious the way Rin is about anything.
Haru isn't serious about swimming, he isn't serious about his friends, and he's just waiting to become ordinary. Haru's a fucking wimp.
And yet its Rin's eyes that are flooded with tears as he runs away and remembers that mere moments ago he rose from the water to see Haruka looking down at him concerned. He hasn't stopped crying since because that Nanase Haruka who doesn't even care about swimming, who has no goals in life, who has nothing to prove, has beat him...fair and square. Like he always fucking has.
No wonder Rin couldn't even make it at that swimming school in Australia. He couldn't even beat Nanase Haruka here in Japan. How was he going to get to the Olympics like this?
"RIN!" He keeps walking. He isn't sure why Haruka's calling his name, but it doesn't matter because he's not going to respond to that loser. All that matters is he, Rin, is the real loser here and now he's going to quit. He doesn't care anymore. It's too painful and it's over. Swimming is over. "RIN!" No matter how fast he is at walking though he can't evade Haru's hands as they clutch at his arm and pull him back.
That's when Rin sees Haruka's flushed face, hears the frantic way he's panting and feels the desperate way Haruka clutches onto him. "Rin what's wrong? You've been acting strange today."
Rin can't take the look in his eyes though. So he shakes him off roughly and looks away from his friend's pressing gaze. "I'm quitting."
And the way the water-loving boy's face falls at his declaration, Matsuoka Rin realizes he has been unfair to Nanase Haruka.
Haru is serious about some things.
He's serious about Rin...and that scares Rin, that feeling that Haru, the boy who cares for nothing, can care so much about him and how he feels is enough to make Rin run away from Haru even faster than before.
Because right now, Haru deserves better than Rin is able to give him because Rin's love for Haru will always be entrenched with hatred until he beats him.
And yet even as his heels push harder at the ground, pushing the door the swimming club, he knows as much as he wants to beat Haru, he wants to win with Haru even more than that.