The Discovery Through a Kiss

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Oneshot

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice. I do own the twins Maes and Maeve.

Author's Note: Maes and Maeve's bad grammar is intentional. The same for the bad grammar in Maes POV scenes.

The idea came as a suggestion from LopezV97 in our penpal letters.

Roy hid his amusement from his daughter, Maeve, when she stormed into his home office, shut the door, and demanded to know why a man name Santa intruded into people's homes on Christmas and put things in instead of taking things out.

"Everybody is saying that this man," Maeve said and pointed at the picture in the book Roy retrieved from the shelf behind his desk, "rides in a sleigh pulled by six reindeer?"

"There are supposed to be eight reindeer," Roy said. "Sometimes nine depending on the story."

Maeve looked down at the book and studied it a moment before looking back up at her father. "He looks like it'd take way more than eight to pull him."

Roy bit the edge of his lip to keep a cackle at bay. "Yes, he does," he said when recovered enough to speak.

"And how does he squeeze down a chimney?"

"Magic."

"Magic isn't real though."

That's my girl. He and Riza had agreed not to foster the myth of a Santa just as they agreed to leave the children's religion up to them when they got old enough to be concerned for such matters. They knew that they'd hear about Santa at school, and if they did, they'd let the kids come to their own decision. It was clear Maeve had already.

"Is he real? Don't lie, Papa."

"No, Maeve. He isn't real."

"And it's you and Mama putting the presents under the tree, right?"

"That's right."

He studied his daughter to see if he saw any disappointment. As expected, she was indifferent. She took that no-nonsense side from Riza. When he was a boy and had found out Santa wasn't real, he'd been devastated.

"Okay," she said.

"You're not disappointed?"

"Nope. I figured it was too unbelievable to be true, but I won't tell Maes and the other kids that he's not real. I won't ruin it for them."

"They'll learn eventually," Roy said. "Though that's very kind of you, Maeve."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Papa."

-/-/-

"So she reasoned that all by herself?" Riza said as she fixed the red suit on Roy. They'd tucked Maes and Maeve in half an hour before and she was just finishing the touches on Roy's Santa outfit."

"That doesn't surprise you, does it?"

"No, not really," Riza said. "She's always been knowledgeable beyond her age. I'm just sad she didn't get to believe it him for a little while."

"She wasn't upset about it. I think the lack of logic involving the tale bothered her and to find out it wasn't real relieved her."

Riza chuckled. She held up the beard. "Now, try this on. I think I got the pillows for the stomach positioned right."

"This thing is so hot and heavy. Can't I go without the pillows and just say Santa lost weight."

"No," she said. "You know how the tale goes."

"Corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made— No, wait, that's Frosty." He grinned to let her know he was joking. She didn't respond and he groaned. "Why do I have to do this?"

"Because Armstrong caught that flu going around," Riza said.

"Damn him. Just when we need his Armstrong vitality, he goes and gets sick. What about Breda? He's fatter than I am."

She plopped the hat on his head. She picked up the tiny pair of glasses and set them so that they perched right on the end of his nose. "He's handling another orphanage. You're elected. Come on, it's not that bad."

"It wouldn't be if you were dressed as a sexy Missus Claus," he said and grabbed her waist. "Then you'd be my Ho ho ho."

"That was a terrible joke." She placed her hands on his shoulders. "You know, I never said I didn't have a sexy Missus Santa outfit."

"Yo—you—Do you?"

Her arms twined around his neck. "You won't find that out until you get back." She leaned up and kissed him.

-/-/-

Maes was wide-awake. He tried to count sheep, and moose, and dragons, and even sparkly Uncle Armstrongs. He only got to three on the sparkle Armstrongs before he realized he might have a bad dream if he falled asleep that way.

Though he knew he should be sleeping he was too excited over hearing about Santa at school. He'd always wondered how all the presents got under the tree in the mornings; a man name Santa did it! Maeve never said much about it, but she never got excited over much unless it was boring stuff like alchemy.

He got up from his bed and slipped on his ducky slippers before leaving his room and making his way down the stairs. Last time he couldn't sleep his mom made him warm milk, then he could sleep again.

He peered around the corner and saw his mommy with a man in a red suit with white trimming. He gasped when he heard a loud "Ho ho ho" and then after his mommy said something, she kissed Santa. Where was Daddy? Mommy was only supposed to kiss Daddy!

He ran up the stairs. He turned to go in Maeve's room but stopped. He shouldn't wake her up and make another worrier in the house. He'd figure it out on his own. He straightened his back and marched into his bedroom. Instead of his bed, he moved over to his beanbag chair next to the window. He flopped down on it.

That couldn't have happened. His mommy wouldn't kiss anyone except his daddy.

Maybe I was halmoosinating? Or maybe I did falled asleep and this is a bad dream.

He pinched himself. "Ouch!"He wasn't dreaming. His mommy really had kissed Santa instead of his daddy. What was he going to do now? If daddy found out, he'd be very very extremely super sad.

I can't let daddy find out but what do I do? What if mommy leaves us for Santa?

Maes curled up on the chair and furrowed his brows. It was up to him to figure out what to do. The fate of his family rested in his hands. He exhaled.

I'm too young for this.

-/-/-

"Maes, wake up," Maeve said.

When the light hit his eyes, he tried to roll away from it, but instead of meeting something soft, he hit on hardness. "Ouch!" He sat up and felt a bone pop.

"Why were you sleeping there?" Maeve said and pointed to the bean chair.

The last night came to him and he sighed. "I was just thinking and falled asleep."

She kneeled in front of him. "Are you okay? You don't have a boo boo do you?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't. Why'd you wake me so early?"

Maeve stood and dusted off her dress. "Mommy told me to. You have to go over to Gramps Grumman today to stay with him."

"I forgot. You comin' too?"

"Nope. It's my turn to go to the dentist, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I went last time," he said.

"We're about to lose our teeths for grown up teeths. I can't wait."

"Me too."

"Maes, Maeve, come down stairs for breakfast," Riza yelled.

Maes's smile fell and he sighed. "I'll be down quick. I have to get out of my pajamas first."

Maeve tilted her head and furrowed her brows. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He wanted to tell her about what he saw. Maeve was always perfect to tell his problems to, but this was something he saw with his own eyes and he didn't want her to not believe him. He could barely believe it himself. "I will tell you when I find out what I need to find out."

-/-/-

Grumman loved his great grandchildren and took pride in knowing certain aspects of them better than even their mother and father, so when Maes wasn't his normal hyper self, it set off alarms in his head.

Maes sat quietly on the couch staring down at his blue sneakers with a contemplative expression.

"Maes, would you like some ice cream?" Grumman asked.

"No, thank you, Gramps."

That denial was a sure sign that something was wrong with him. Maes never passed up the cold confection. Grumman moved from his chair to the couch and placed a hand on Maes's tiny shoulder. "What's bothering you?"

Maes looked up at him. "Mommy shouldn't be kissing any other man besides my daddy, right?"

"That depends on the kind of kiss. Sometimes people greet each other with small kisses," he said. Though, his granddaughter was never one of those people. She was nervous about kissing Roy at their wedding, so kissing a complete stranger, even if there was nothing behind it, would be unlikely. "On the cheek?"

He shook his head. "No, it was a big kiss. On the lips. Like a long one with eyes closed and everything."

Grumman's hand suddenly felt heavy and he let it drop to the couch. "Maes, did you see your mom kissing another man?"

Maes nodded.

There had to be some reason behind all of this. Riza wouldn't cheat on Roy. Perhaps the man kissed her instead. "You sure the man didn't force it on her?" He knew that was even less likely; otherwise, Maes would've seen his mother beat the man into the ground.

"Yes, mommy put her arms around his neck and everything. The man even laughed."

Before Grumman could say anything more, the doorbell rang. "Ah, that must be your mother."

"Gramps, will you talk to my mommy? Please?"

"Yes, I'll talk to her. You go into the kitchen, and let Patricia give you an ice cream cone while I speak with your mother."

Riza showed up at the door to the living room a few seconds later. "You ready to go?" she smiled at her son as he jumped off the couch. He walked over to her and hugged her, not as excited to see her as he normally was. "Maes?"

"Gramps needs to talk to you, Mommy," he said and walked past her toward the kitchen. She looked up at her grandfather in question.

"Will you close the door and sit down, please?" Grumman asked. He knew there was an explanation, but the possibility of Riza cheating on Roy still weighed on his mind. It wasn't likely the case, but it didn't hurt to ask.

She did as he asked and sat down on the couch. "Is something wrong?"

"I know I've nagged you about getting married, and I'm thrilled you have. After you did, I said I wouldn't inquire about your private life and situation with Roy."

"You've been very good about that."

He turned to his right to be able to look her in the eye. The only difference in her now was that she was confused on why he wanted to speak with her. "Everything is going well between you and Roy?"

"As well as always."

"No fighting?"

"No more than normal."

"Sex life good?"

She growled. "Grandfather, you're messing up your perfect streak by asking these questions. What brought this on?"

Grumman decided to get to the point. "Are you cheating on Roy?"

"I'm sorry!"

"So you are!"

"No! That sorry was spoken because it's so unbelievable that you'd even think to ask me that."

"Well, your son thinks different. He says he saw you kissing another man on the lips. I know you Riza. You aren't typically that intimate with anyone other than Roy."

"Another man? Grandfather, you know other than Taylor Pack, I've not shown any interest toward any other man."

"Then how do you explain him seeing you kiss another man?"

"I have no…" Realization suddenly dawned on her face. She made a fist and hit her other palm with it. "Santa!"

"You kissed Santa?"

"No! I kissed Roy dressed as Santa. Last night," she said. "He must've come down stairs and saw me."

Grumman struggled to keep a blush-free straight face. He figured his granddaughter's generation was into some weird sexual interests, but dressing as Santa was… unique. "Shouldn't you keep that kind of thing in the bedroom?"

"Not funny," she said.

He hadn't been joking, but it was for the best if she thought he was.

"He was dressing up for the orphans since Armstrong couldn't do it."

"Ah, I see. Well now that makes everything better." He felt ashamed for thinking his granddaughter of all people would cheat on her husband. He'd been cheated on though, and he hadn't thought her grandmother could do such a thing either. He forgave her, but their relationship hadn't been the same after that.

"Not quite," she said. "Now I have to explain to Maes."

-/-/-

Riza had filled in Roy with what happened, and Maes was waiting in the living room with Maeve.

They hated to have to tell him Santa wasn't real since they wanted him to come to that conclusion on his own, but they didn't want him to think his mother was a cheater either.

"What did you do?" they heard Maeve say when they entered the room.

"Nothing," Maes said.

Maeve looked at her parents. "Whatever he did, I don't know about it."

"Don't worry, neither of you are in trouble," Roy said.

They sat across from Maes. "Maes, your grandfather spoke to me today. He said you saw me kissing someone else," Riza said.

Maeve gasped and looked at her brother. "That's what you were keeping from me?"

"I didn't want to worry you. I saw momma kissing Santa Claus."

Maeve's face dropped into indifference. "What?"

"Santa! She was kissing Santa Clause. On the mouth." He looked toward Roy. "I'm sorry daddy! I wanted to tell you but—"

"Whoa whoa, slow down little man. I know your mother was kissing Santa."

"You do?"

"That was your father in the Santa suit, Maes."

"That's right," Roy said. "Your mother was kissing me."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Roy, Riza, and Maeve watched as he processed what his parents told him. He jumped up suddenly. "So that means Daddy is Santa?" Maes said then looked at Roy. "No wonder you're so busy all the time! You're in the military and you're Santa."

"You have got to be kidding me," Maeve said and sighed.

Maes ignored her and said, "But I've seen you when there was another Santa around, so you can't be Santa."

"Maes, there are all kinds of people that dress up as Santa Claus," Riza said.

"Then what about the real Santa? What does he think of all the imposternators?"

Riza and Roy stayed quiet. They figured Maes would be upset over the lack of Santa Claus. Just as they were contemplating on how to tell him, their daughter solved the problem.

"Santa isn't real," Maeve said. When they shot a scolding look at her, she shrugged. "It's not like you two had the guts to tell him."

"So . . . Santa isn't real?"

"Afraid not, Little Man," Riza said.

"Oh," he said, though he didn't sound disappointed. He remained quiet. A look of contemplation sat upon his face. "So, you and daddy put the presents under the tree?"

"Yes," Riza said.

"Wow, that's awesome!" His face fell. "But what about all the kids?"

"What?"

"At the orphanage place. They want Christmas, but if Santa isn't real then how do they get presents?"

Roy and Riza looked at each other, both silently agreeing that it wasn't the time to tell Maes that some kids didn't, and they were indeed disappointed. Instead, Riza saved the day.

"That's why your dad was playing Santa. To give out presents at the orphanage. Armstrong was supposed to do it but couldn't."

Maes wrinkled his nose. "Aunty Olivier would look awful in a beard!"

Even though they'd been calling her Aunty for a while now, it never ceased to amaze Roy that not only did she allow it, but she also adored Maes and Maeve.

"Not Aunty Olivier! Uncle Alex is the one," Maeve said.

"Oh," Maes said. "So…" He looked at his mother then his father, then back to his mother. "Mommy isn't kissing other people besides Daddy?"

"No, Maes. I'm not," Riza said. It was best to keep it as straight to the point as possible lest he think of something else to stress over.

"Okay, good. Because I would be very mad if you two kissed any other grownups even if it's gross when you two kiss."

"Everything is settled then?" Roy asked.

"Yep!"

"Then it's time for you two to go to bed."

"Yeah, because you two can't put the presents under the tree if we're up!"

Maeve grabbed his collar. "Come on."

"Hey, I'm comin'!" He pulled away, and they scampered up the stairs.

Riza and Roy sat back on the couch. "So his cold shoulder was because he thought I was cheating on you."

"With Santa Clause." He put his arms around her. "He has quite an imagination too. I wonder what was worse for him. That his mom was kissing someone else or that Santa was a home wrecker."

"Why don't we be more honest with them from now on? Sit them down and tell them all the things that aren't real."

"That sounds like a good idea."

They stood and went up to tuck them in. Like every night, Maeve was waiting at her brother's door. They always tucked him in and kissed him goodnight first before going over with Maeve to her room and doing the same.

Maeve gave her brother a hug before Roy and Riza bent to tuck him in. Maes said goodnight but then cringed. He got up and rushed to the bathroom.

"Maes?" Roy followed his son.

Maes took a drink of water and then spit it out. Something hit down in the sink and he picked it up. He smiled a toothy grin. "One of my teeths fell out." He held up the tooth then rushed past Roy, past his mother, and jumped back into bed. He showed Riza. "Mommy, my tooth fell out," he said. He placed it under the pillow. "Hope the tooth fairy finds it."

He sank down in his bed and closed his eyes before Riza had a chance to tuck him in again. Riza clicked off the light and left the bedroom. She met Roy standing at the door. They stared at each other for a few seconds before their daughter interrupted.

"Papa? Mama?" They looked at her. "You should wait after Christmas to tell him the tooth fairy isn't real. He's been through enough."

AN: As I noted before, Maes and Maeve's bad grammar was intentional.

Hope you enjoyed this fiction. I have more for the readers in days to come (until the Orthodox Christmas January 7th, so please keep a lookout if you read my other fics). Please leave a review if you have the time. Also if you'd like to see Maes and Maeve in any more situations, send me a PM. I'd like more ideas and suggestions to write with these two.

I hope you have a Happy Holiday/Happy Christmas.

Much Love, MSD