This was inspired by my friend's attempt to write smut about two of my classmates and turned out eh... strangely interesting. Anyway, seeing as it's actually inspired by an attempt on smut and causing me to attempt writing one(Keyword: ATTEMPT. This fic isn't smut, thank goodness. I was actually writing this in class and trying to block the boy sitting next to me from seeing what I was actually writing.), it wasn't meant to be a serious fic. At least not at first.
Eh. Did anyone notice that I tend to rant in the author's note? Anyway, this fic is actually my first real attempt on SeiSub and it contains... heavy shounen-ai that is not quite to the standard of yaoi yet, if you know what I mean. If you can't take it, get out right now(but what am I saying, this is the X/1999 fandom darn it) And I'll put a warning of OOC-ness here just in case, because I'm not confident of writing this pairing to the standard I'd like to have.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything here. Otherwise, Seishirou and Subaru would have their own happy ending right here, right now, doing stuff that is way too sappy.
"Get out," he hissed, blocking the bedroom door.
"Subaru-kun, is this how you would treat your lover? I'm hurt." He placed a hand over his heart and wiped away his imaginary tears mockingly.
Emerald eyes flashed dangerously. "What do you want?"
"Why, Subaru-kun, can't I wish you a Merry Christmas?"
"No," he replied curtly. "Get out."
The assassin didn't move, merely started to take in the apartment's design. "Really, Subaru-kun, your apartment is dull," he noted disapprovingly. "Your sister would have never approved."
"Seishirou-san!" His hands were shaking. "Why are you here?"
"Making sure you eat, of course." The older man took hold of his arm and started to drag him to the kitchen. "You're so skinny. Hokuto-chan would have my head if she knew that you're neglecting yourself like this."
"My sister… Hokuto-chan…" he muttered under his breath and then wrenched his arm away from his gasp. "My sister is dead! You killed her, Seishirou-san. Would you have the right to talk about her so casually?"
The older man gazed at him in amusement before taking off his sunglasses to reveal a pair of mismatched eyes. Subaru flinched inwardly at the sight of the blind right eye and tried not to falter. "Subaru-kun." He gazed intensely at him, taking a step closer. "Today is Christmas."
"…" Subaru backed away a step.
"It's the day where wishes are granted." He took another step and Subaru responded yet with another one.
"The Kamui of the Dragons of Earth is not Santa Claus but he seemed to have taken up the liberty of taking over the job this year. Do you know what my wish is for this Christmas?" A leer and another step.
Subaru's eye twitched. He didn't like where this conversation was going. "Then if this is the day where wishes are granted, why don't you grant mine? Get out."
"Oh, but I'm not Santa Claus, Subaru-kun. I don't grant wishes. Except for perhaps a few where only I can grant... Like your Wish, isn't that right, Subaru-kun?"
"Then why aren't you granting it?"
Seishirou took another step. The younger man moved away another step and his back hit the wall. Seishirou was smirking now and he prowled closer until their chests were only inches apart. Oh shit, Subaru thought and tried to meet his eyes evenly.
"But Subaru-kun, I am planning to grant your Wish."
Subaru's eyes widened. But his Wish was… Did Seishirou know what it was already?
"But not today." He casually put his right hand on the wall beside the younger onmyouji's head.
His hopes crashed and his eyes narrowed. "Then why are you here? And don't tell me it is to make me eat."
He laughed. "But I do plan on making sure you have dinner. But then again, I suppose the primary reason is-" He surveyed Subaru appreciatively for a second. "-to grant my wish, of course!"
The younger man promptly hardened his gaze and tried to escape from Seishirou's hold when a hand shot out to trap him. Subaru reached into his right pocket to take out his ofuda when Seishirou grabbed his wrist and forced it to drop the ofuda onto the floor. Subaru could only turn back to glare and Seishirou returned with a smirk, leaning closer until they could feel each other's breath.
"Seishirou-san, what are you trying to pull?"
"Subaru-kun." He breathed lightly and Subaru readied himself for whatever he would reply with.
"Do you find me sexy?"
Subaru blinked. The kind veterinarian smile he saw countless times during the Year was on the older man's face. It was a smile without a single trace of mocking that was usually evident whenever he brought up the Year.
Subaru was caught off guard.
Taking advantage of that, Seishirou leaned in and placed his lips on Subaru's shocked ones. With his tongue, he skillfully forced Subaru's lips open and explored the cavern. After a stunned second, Subaru placed his free hand on the broad chest to push him away but Seishirou was stronger. He grabbed it as well, slamming both the wrists he held on the wall in an iron-hold. The younger man tried to resist and struggled against the hold but to no avail.
He seemed to be running out of air. Green eyes looked frantically around the room in hopes of finding something that would distract the assassin. The assassin pressed in closer and the Sumeragi found his sight filled by his face. Soft black hair that fell close to his unexpectedly long eyelashes. Suddenly, Subaru was hyper-aware of the situation he was in.
Strong hands against his wrists. The broad body trapping his small one. The feel of Seishirou's soft lips against his chapped ones. The feel of Seishirou's tongue in his mouth.
Subaru's resolve was melting and he struggled to concentrate. Seishirou's tongue… If he could bite it-
Seishirou grinded his hip against his and Subaru let out a muffled moan. And then the tongue was gone from his mouth. His own tongue flicked in his mouth at the lost warmth as he gulped in large amounts of air. A pair of lips and a tongue was tracing the area between his collarbone and throat.
"Sei… Seishirou-san…" He panted. "I should sue you for attempting murder by shortage of oxygen."
Somehow, he dimly realized that his priorities were wrong. Besides, the man was a government assassin that got away with hundreds of murder for gods' sake! He found it disconcerting to find that his sight was blurred and he couldn't muster up any strength at all. If Seishirou were to let go of him right then, he might fall over... Was he delirious?
He felt a chuckle at the base of his throat and he shuddered. Then the weight against him was gone as Seishirou started pulling him by the wrist to the kitchen. He stumbled a few times but allowed the older man to lead him to a chair. The older man proceeded to search the cabinets and the fridge. The assassin frowned.
"Subaru-kun, why is it that the only decent food in your kitchen is instant noodles? And all of them are dangerously close to the expiration date. But I suppose I could whip up something simple with the ingredients here that I hope are still fine to consume."
Even receiving no reply, he continued on. "Really, Subaru-kun, I'm surprised you're still alive at this standard of living."
"I know how to take care of myself."
"Now, do you?" There was a small amused smirk playing on his lips.
Subaru didn't reply and Seishirou hummed as he worked his way around the kitchen. After 30 minutes, bowls of steaming rice and soup was placed in front of the seated onmyouji. He didn't react.
Seishirou sighed. "Subaru-kun, eat."
Still no reaction. The younger man was staring intensely at the bowls of food on the table top, his hands clenched tightly on his lap. Seishirou leaned back against the kitchen counter, waiting.
"Why?"
Only a single word came out of the onmyouji's slightly abused lips and with it, the lithe body shook as if unable to contain the emotions that it had been bottling inside. Seishirou watched, fascinated by the movements rocking the small body and the slight disruptions in the black shirt that loosely hugged his frame. The young man was truly a work of art.
"Whatever do you mean?"
Teeth grazed the swollen lips as the man tried to keep the emotions from bursting out.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Haven't I mentioned it just now? It's to make you eat and fulfill my wish, of course."
The screech of the chair resounded in the silence of the apartment as he stood up. There was a sort of liquid fire in the emerald eyes and the owner's jaw was clenched as he glared at him. There was a mix of emotions evident in the green pools.
Anger, hatred, hurt… and an emotion he couldn't identify.
"Why me? Why now?"
Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "Subaru-kun, you know that you're my prey. My plaything. And I do anything I want with my playthings."
"My life is supposed to expire during the Year. When I was 16. So why am I, at an age of a healthy 25, still here?"
"Your sister did gave up her life."
"That wouldn't have stopped you."
"Pardon?"
"I am your prey. Yours ever since that meeting over a decade ago. And yet even after her death, I am still marked by you." He shakily lifted his hands to show to pentagram scars. "That means my life is still yours, isn't it?"
Seishirou's gaze turned mocking. "Surely, you wouldn't have expected that Hokuto-chan's life would really be able to substitute your life, would you? Your life has been mine, always have been and always will. A mere sister's life wouldn't be able to be exchange for your freedom. All she did was to prolong your life by another few years."
Subaru's eyes flashed and his hands grabbed Seishirou by the collar. "Are you saying that she died in vain?"
Seishirou stared steadily back into the rage-filled eyes, making no attempt to deny or affirm anything.
"It would have been fine if you had taken my life right then!" He spat. "You could have left Hokuto-chan alone and just took my life instead! You didn't have to kill her!"
"She willingly gave her life just so you could live a few more years, Subaru-kun." His voice was deathly calm. In his chest, a strange hot feeling was boiling. There was something about the way Subaru was talking about his own life that irked him.
"You didn't have to oblige her!"
"It was her decision. I respected it. Hence, I obliged her. You as her brother, whom she sacrificed all she had for, ought to appreciate it!" He said harshly and broke free of Subaru's hold on his collar. "Hokuto-chan would be upset that you aren't appreciating what she did out of her love for you."
"I…" Subaru's hands fell limply to his sides as he stared somewhat in confusion into Seishirou's mismatched eyes.
Seishirou tugged his collar back to place. "Subaru-kun," his voice was hard. "Eat your dinner."
Subaru obeyed. The rest of the meal passed in silence.
It was when Seishirou was washing the dishes when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He glanced over in mild surprise to see Subaru hanging his head down beside him. Well, he hadn't expected Subaru to talk to him after that.
"What is it, Subaru-kun?" He smoothed his voice into one of warm and affectionate.
A slight pause. "What..." Another pause before Subaru tried again. "What do you think Hokuto-chan sacrificed for? Why would she give me these years?"
Seishirou turned off the tap and dried his hands. He wondered if he should tell him the truth but quickly deduced that there was no harm in doing so. "Before she died, she told me that she wanted us to be happy."
He thought he saw the Sumeragi's head perk up a little at that. "Us?" He echoed.
"The two of us, yes."
"She…" Was his voice quivering? "She believes that we can be happy together."
Seishirou wondered if he shouldn't have told him the truth after all. "Yes."
"Then… Do you believe that? Would you… try?" He raised his head this time. His green depths were shimmering with pain, hope and that same emotion he couldn't identify earlier. There was no trace of any anger nor distrust and they were instead replaced by a strange sort of emotion between resignation and quiet acceptance.
It made Seishirou think of the time he had revealed the details of the Bet. The Subaru then had the same look in his eyes except for the hope. He had been beautiful then, even when broken. Now, he found the Subaru now beautiful too.
His hands twitched. There was a strange urge surfacing.
He slammed the Sumeragi against the kitchen counter and kissed him roughly, not caring of the yelp that escaped Subaru's lips as he hit the hard surface. He forced his tongue in again and put a hand behind Subaru's head, supporting and preventing him from escape. Subaru didn't struggle but instead hesitantly put his hands around him.
Good, he thought as he let his free hand roam, groping the trapped body.
He slid a hand underneath the loose black shirt, exploring the contours of his stomach, slowly drifting higher. Seishirou broke the kiss and bit Subaru's ear as his fingers closed around a nipple. A moan.
Seishirou smirked. The sound of it was enticing and innocent. No one had touched his Subaru like this before. He had been the one who had taken Subaru's innocence mentally. And now, he would be the one to take it physically as well. He found the thought strangely appealing.
He lowered to Subaru's neck and bit the spot between the collarbone and the neck. The younger man gasped. He would leave a mark. Subaru was his.
He whispered in the skin of Subaru's neck. "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"
Subaru's hands entangled themselves in his hair.
He took it as a yes.
Seishirou gave one last thrust as he climaxed inside Subaru. Seishirou fell onto him, panting. They shared another kiss. When they finally separated, the older man lapped at the Sumeragi's throat. They stayed like that for a while until Seishirou decided to roll over to lie on the bed instead. Subaru curled up beside him in search of warmth. Seishirou turned slightly and started to play with the younger onmyouji's strands of black hair.
"Seishirou-san, you never did answer my question."
"Hmm?" His hair was so soft. Why hadn't he notice it before?
"Do you believe that we could be happy together? Would you try?"
He paused slightly and continued to play with his hair. He didn't reply.
"... Would you stay until the morning?"
It was the same question, they both knew it.
"It's Christmas, Subaru-kun. A day to fulfill wishes."
"Seishirou-san, would you?"
Seishirou placed a kiss on the younger man's sweaty forehead. "Go to sleep, Subaru-kun."
"Mmhm… Seishirou-san?" Subaru snuggled against him.
"Yes?"
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Subaru-kun."
The younger man let out a yawn and Seishirou placed a hand over his eyes.
"It's getting late, Subaru-kun. Sleep."
He obeyed.
Seishirou looked at the sleeping onmyouji. The moonlight illuminated his pale skin and Seishirou stared at the defenseless man for a long time.
It would have been fine if you had taken my life right then!
He sounded so convicted, so hurt that he had been the one left alive. Seishirou didn't understand. Why would anyone prefer death over life? Oh, he knew that it was because he loved his sister more than himself. But knowing was not understanding. He remembered telling Subaru of his theory that humans were selfish beings. He still believed it, of course. Then, there is Subaru. Such a selfless person, looking out for others so much more than it should have been possible.
Seishirou caressed his cheek and placed his hand above his beating heart. He listened to the strong and rhythmic beating of the heart. Even so, Subaru was only human. He would die as easily as anyone if his heart was pierced. He raised his hand as if to poise for the strike and to end the bet once and for all. He stared at the peaceful face, dropping his hand back onto the bed. He didn't feel like ending it. Strange. He had been looking forward to doing so since years ago.
You could have left Hokuto-chan alone and just took my life instead!
He frowned. He didn't like the fact that he preferred Hokuto over himself. He recalled the strange feeling boiling in his chest earlier. With the time, he decided to search for the right term for it. Annoyance is too mild a term and so was the word displeased. For such a strong feeling… He ran his head through all the possible terms until he found a suitable one.
Anger.
He had been angry at Subaru. Subaru had managed to make him angry.
Seishirou savored the memory of the feeling for a good while and stared up at the ceiling. For Subaru to be able to cause him to feel such a strong emotion, he… wasn't just a plaything to him. He reluctantly concluded.
Then what was Subaru to him?
He turned to study the sleeping man again. He thought of the strange urge that surfaced after thinking that Subaru was beautiful and the strange emotion in Subaru's eyes he still hadn't identified.
Love. His mind helpfully supplied.
He almost dismissed the thought. Subaru in love with his sister's murderer? He wanted to scoff but then his mind reminded him that Subaru had just slept with said murderer. He sighed and reached out to search his jeans for cigarettes. He paused, looking at Subaru again as a sudden thought occurred to him. He shook his head.
Really, he was a heartless assassin. He couldn't love anything, anyone.
"I had thought so too until I met you."
He frowned and shook the thoughts of his mother away and the words of a deceased sister momentarily filled his mind.
"There is no one who can't love, Sei-chan."
He had lost control after thinking about Subaru, giving in to that urge. He had never done so before. He had always pride himself on having excellent self-control, but… He deepened the frown. Really, too many inconsistent things were happening to him when it was about Subaru.
"Do you believe that we could be happy together? Would you try?"
Seishirou glanced at the younger man. He had found his answer.
The next morning, Subaru woke up in an empty bed with a small note on the bedside table.
Christmas only lasts one day, Subaru-kun.
Well? This is what happens when I attempt to write some smut and failing miserably because I keep on putting it off since I was too afraid to try writing it out. In the end, I sort of avoided it and it kinda turned out to be a rather serious piece now. :/ And I didn't expect Seishirou to have a reflecting session right after doing that. Actually, the entire contemplating session wasn't even there in the first draft. And honestly, what in heaven's world is wrong with me and writing X!Seishirou, really? T.T I fail so badly sometimes. And I somehow feel that even Subaru went a bit haywire there.
And I really can't believe I just posted this. Oh my gosh. *hides face in hands*
Reviews will really really be appreciated for this piece.
