Chapter 1

"Why are we doing this again?" Brian asked Kim while he changed Paul and Lana's ten month old son, Danny. Kim had volunteered both of them to take Danny while Paul and Lana had gone to their respective appointments.

"Are you hard of hearing or did you forget to clean the wax out of your ears again?" Kim asked back, handing him a clean diaper. "I told you, Lana had a doctor's appointment and Paul was meeting with creative. Besides, they're our best friends and it was only right that we'd watch Danny while they were gone."

"Funny, nobody told me about a meeting."

"They're working on that story thing for Backlash I told you about, remember?" Kim reminded him.

"Oh, right. I did meet with them a few days ago about that. I'm supposed to be the bad guy, but at present, I'm getting stuck being barfed on and shit on by a miniature PL. Woohoo, I am one scary dude."

"Some way to talk about your godson. Good grief."

"When are they going to start teaching this kid to use the throne anyway?"

"Brian, Danny isn't even a year old. Kids usually aren't potty trained until they're about two."

"We got to put up with another year of the nastiest, grossest smelling diapers in the universe?"

"More like PL and Lana do ninety-nine percent of the time, but that's how it works."

"One thing about it, no matter how you slice it, Danny here gets his sense of offensive odors from his dad."

Brian then held up the bag containing the soiled diaper. "I'm going to take this to the nearest toxic waste dump."

"God, you are so dramatic," Kim replied, picking up Danny. "I'd hate to see how you are if we ever have one of these."

"Which may be awhile. Meanwhile, we can stick with the ones that can be given back at the end of the day."

"Just take that thing to the Dumpster," Kim sighed as the phone rang. "I need to get the phone anyway."

Balancing the baby on her hip, Kim picked up the receiver to find Lana on the other end. "Oh hey, lady!"

"How's Danny doing?" Lana asked. "I'm just about to leave the office."

"He's great. Brian changed him and actually lived to tell about it. He went to dump the shitty diaper. So how did everything go?"

"False alarm," Lana replied. "Thank God; I don't think I could do two kids so close together. I want to wait until Danny's at least two or three before I even think of another child, though I may not have much time left."

"I wouldn't rule it out," Kim said. "There's women having kids in their forties and fifties these days. The joy of modern medicine."

"Whatever the case, I'm considering myself lucky for now, especially since the doctor gave me a prescription for the pill."

Brian came back in, banging the front door before scrubbing his hands. "Who's on the phone?"

"Mama," Kim answered. "She had a false alarm."

"Wow, that's a shocker, considering she and PL are always screwing like rabbits. At least we won't have to worry about any more of his DNA being spread around for the time being. Talk about a scary thought."

"No, a scary thought would be your DNA being multiplied," Kim deadpanned before going back to her phone call.

"Yeah, yeah, tell me that in a few years. I'm going to go work out. I'll be back in about an hour."