Chapter 1 - Crystal Clear
The characters do not belong to me. Mr Marlowe is the creator here.
It has been days since I have seen Rick. First I thought that he was just busy, he needed to do some writing because, well, he is always running from his ex wife, making excuses. What really got me worried was when his ex wife called, telling me that he went to Vegas with some 'Bimbo', at least that's what I would call her but to top it all up he told his ex wife that he was not getting any inspiration these days by working with me. What the hell happened that I suddenly changed from a muse to a distraction for him? I knew that it was something I had done, but I was trying hard to think about what changed his attitude towards me. He has always been the one person who helped in finding that tiny piece of the puzzle, that tiny detail that gave us the break through. I needed him to do the same this time too, with our relationship, or whatever it is that we have, but I knew that this time I will have to do that myself.
After 10 days I saw him enter the precinct. My heart beat suddenly rose I hate to admit it, but I was having butterflies in my stomach. The way he smiled, his blue eyes curving a little along with his lips, just made my day. I wanted to hug him, tell him I really missed him but communication had always been our weakness. I was all in awe of him, watching his every step until I noticed something that was more like a kick in the gut. He had no intentions of giving me our morning kiss, sorry, coffee. He just came near me and stood there awkwardly as if he would melt if he came any closer.
'Heyy Castle, how are you?' was all I was able to say.
Richard Castle just stood there staring at me trying to remember how to frame a sentence. 'Good' he said not asking about my well being. I just raised my eyebrow in confusion. 'Are you alright Rick' I asked and he simply responded with a 'never better' like he had done ten days ago, when he had vanished with that bimbo, never to be seen again.
I had to do something. I dragged him by his shirt collar, right into the interrogation room. I banged the door, switched off the audio and video camera and sat down, ordering him to sit down too. But he didn't.
'Okay Rick, speak. What's wrong?' I asked trying to keep my voice loud and steady, like the one I used on suspects.
'Why would you think something is wrong Kate? I am doing great, just came back from Vegas which was a wonderful change by the way'
'Oh yeah! Well I am sure you had fun with that girl, what's her name again, Oh yeah, JASSinda' I said, emphasising on a few words I needed him to hear.
'What's your problem anyway? Why would it matter to you?' he asked. Dammit, why he always asked such accurate questions.
'Well, because we are partners, friends, and now when we are getting close, you are pulling away' I could not help but say it.
'Well Kate, I cannot be your bestie and hang out with you, are you being deprived of Lanie or what?' he said and gave a sarcastic laugh.
'No I don't want THAT, I just want- you are not even bringing me coffee Castle' I said foolishly.
'Oh geez, I forgot, don't worry I'll make you some. Actually it is YOUR TRAUMA, which gets me every time'. With that, he just left me in the interrogation room.
Trauma, what was that supposed to mean? Then it struck me. In this same interrogation room I had spilled my secret to that kid. What if Castle was behind the glass? Oh no, the coffee on my desk when I came out. He was right THERE. What pain I had put him through? I wanted to play it safe but all I did was put matters in more danger. If I told him I had figured it out, he would never forgive me. How could he even forgive me? What I did was wrong. But I have to explain it to him, he won't listen now. His anger is fresh. Then it came to my mind what Dr Burke had said, 'Maybe the main problem is, what I didn't do for him'. Okay, it's done! I will show him I love him. I will fight for him like he did for me these past few years. I will make him feel that I am ready to be with him. God! I love him SO much. I would tell him the truth eventually but right now, I will make his hatred and anger turn into love and inspiration all over again. I will make my secret come out but will not let it break him again. I will not put him through the same thing twice. The key is 'He does not know I know he knows'.
Hello guys, this is my first fan-fiction, the chapters that follow will focus on Beckett trying to make Castle feel that she loves him too. The roles are reversed. The ball is in Beckett's court so I want her to step up and make Castle feel extraordinary for a change. The next chapters will be sweet. If you like my idea, just leave a review about how I have done so far though I want to tell you all that this was a build up for the story to progress into its main plot. Those who have read it, do review and tell me whether I should proceed with this story or not. There is angst, but I may call it subtle angst and more of romance/friendship. ;) If you like it, I would update regularly. Let me know.
(Some chapters will be from Beckett's POV and some if you want from Rick's POV)