The Gay Adventures of Albus Dumbledore
Author's Note: This is a comedy, its meant to be silly and funny and all in fun. If you get offended or hurt…don't come whine to me.
This week's password for the Gargoyle was apricot. Dumbledore climbed through the porthole left by the statue moving, nodding to the statue as he went. Moonlight passed through the windows as he climbed the spiral staircase up to the headmaster's office. His silvery beard draped down past his waist, the last few inches braided, to keep it in order. The patches of stars on his cloak caught the moon as he reached the door to the office.
Most of Hogwarts was sleep by now, save for the professors patrolling the halls and Ms. Norris stalking along the corridors outside the Great Hall. He'd made his last pass to check with them before turning in for the night, but he didn't feel like sleep yet. The House Elves from the kitchens had whipped him up a corndog and wrapped it tight in a brown paper back. For the next few minutes he planned to recline back in his big chair and chow down.
Fawkes, the phoenix rustled its wings at his entry, crying out from the perch where he sat.
"This is mine, old friend. Your food's over there," Dumbledore said pointing to a crushed up bunch of crackers spread over some sunflower seeds.
He dropped back into his chair, unraveled the paper that was swathed around the bread battered hot dog. As he went to take his first bite, he chuckled and swept his beard to the side. "I guess I should be careful, don't want to go to bed with bread in my beard."
A few minutes later, he had finished the corndog, but found that he wasn't tired or in a mood to walk the halls of the school again. There was always the chance that a late night trip to Hogsmead could provide some entertainment, but he thought the better of it when he remembered that his broom had gone missing amongst the clutter of his office.
It was a Thursday night, tomorrow the students would be gearing up for the coming weekend. Twisting his hand around his beard in thought, he wondered if he couldn't dredge up some fun. It had been a while since he stepped outside of the general area of the school, the job of Headmaster didn't allow much time to do so. Normally he had to resort to use of the internet, which was hard because it took a certain amount of magic just to keep anything electronic running inside of Hogwarts.
With a flick of his wand above the desk, a boxy gray Toshiba laptop appeared on his desk with Internet Explorer opened. Dumbledore moved the cursor to the address window and clicked, he typed the web addressed: w-w-w-.-w-i-z-a-r-d-s-l-i-s-t-.-w-i-z.
In moments the hour glass was spinning as the page loaded. He was taken to a siteHogsmead section of a Wizard's specific classified website. The motto at the top of the page read: uniting wizards in need with wizards that have. He scrolled down to the personals section and clicked on the casual encounters section.
The page loaded in a flash, the Wizarding part of the internet was surprisingly fast, even in the days of dialup. His blue eyes etched their way down the page, reading over the words before him. "'Are you yung and hung'…'Drunk enough to think I need a dude to stroke me'…" he grumbled. After passing down to the bottom of the page in search of something of interest, he closed the laptop and sent it away with a wave of his wand.
Dumbledore pushed his half-moon spectacles up onto the bridge of his nose and rose from his chair. "It looks like they're not selling what old Albus is looking for anymore," he said rubbing a hand down Fawkes's back. "Perhaps I'll just pay a visit to the Hog's Head this weekend…"