I woke up in a tangled mess of sheets. I had been sleeping deeply and dreaming. I dreamt about her. I dreamt about how I had once felt for her and how everything had changed. The dream was so vivid. I dreamt that I had run into her out on the street, and we were friendly again. But it's just been so long… I can vividly remember her face but I can't even remember her name.

Now I wonder how Whatsername has been.

We had been in love, just two kids who thought we'd found it. She'd tell me she loved me, and I would say it back. We spent many days together, just us and we blocked out all our surroundings. If there was ever a time period I could revisit, that would be it. The hours we spent just sitting around, holding each other and not even talking, just feeling what each of us meant. I remember the soft feel of her hair and the cold sting of the dark night. But I didn't even care about the cold. I was either too stubborn to care or too in love.

But then it all ended. First we became loveless towards each other ("Bye, I love you" turned into just, "Bye"), then we started fighting. I never wanted to fight; I still loved her deep down. But she didn't love me anymore. It all happened so fast. Suddenly she was gone, out the door. And I was left standing alone, like I had so often stood alone before. Just standing alone, swaying with the thought of what had just occurred. It was almost too much for me. She was able to move on; I wasn't. She got a new boyfriend, and they looked so happy together. Like how I had been happy with her once.

I made a point to burn all of the photographs.

I wanted to extinguish every last memory, every last burning desire I had for her. But I just couldn't. The years went by and eventually, I had started to forget. I got a steady job, I lived in my own apartment, everything was OK and for once in my life, I had a normal life. But then the dream rekindled all the memories of her, of us. I just lay in bed, not wanting to get up. All I wanted was to just cling to every last wisp of that dream; in hopes that maybe I could relive it. But the dream vanished, just as she so quickly vanished out of my life. But the feeling was still there.

Remember? Whatever! It seems like forever ago!

It seems like forever ago that I talked to her. But it also feels like only yesterday. I can still see her eyes as they stared deep into mine, almost searching for the soul that they so despised. I can still see her turning and walking out the door, taking each step so elegantly and the light click of the door closing behind her. She hadn't slammed it, but had rather just barely closed it. It was ajar just enough for me to see her walk away, unmoved. The door then finished closing on its own, almost as if finishing what neither of us had.

I received a letter from her, which might as well have been a letter bomb. It broke my heart. She explained in the letter that I wasn't the boy she'd fallen in love with. She said I had softened up and wasn't strong enough to support her anymore. She insulted me in that letter bomb, she tore me apart, piece by piece. And after all these years, I woke up from the dream, reached under my pillow, and pulled out the letter bomb.

The regrets are useless in my mind, she's in my head.