The Chat That Launched A Thousand Ships

by VictoriousNagini

Hermione is throwing a Masquerade ball for her 23rd birthday and has taken to announcing it the Muggle way—Facebook. Well, it's like Facebook, only it's called Magicbook (A stroke of genius, that name. :P) and very little Muggles are aware of its existence. You know it's a party when Harry and Ron are set to bring the firewhisky.

1. Chapter 1

Title: The Chat That Launched A Thousand Ships {Ch. 1 - Or At Least A Party}

Author: Lorevolution

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Why, the trusty trio o'course. Mentons of Sirius, Remus, Ginny, ooh a surprise guest, and a tinsy kick to Snape's ego. So yeah, some peeps are alive if you hadn't noticed. Let the debauchery and teasing ensue.

Words:1,491

Warnings: Zip. Some innundo and Language at the most. Also, Harry may come off as a bit 'gansta-blair' in this. You were warned.

Spoilers: None that you don't already know about…I guess if you DON'T then you prolly should research a few things, huh? :P Post-war {Basically by a couple years}.

Disclaimer: Found floating around in the 'ol imagination box.

Feedback: Respectfully welcomed.

Summary: Hermione is throwing a Masqurade ball for her 23rd birthday and has taken to annoucing it the muggle way—Facebook. Well, it's like Facebook, only it's called Magicbook (A stroke of genius, that name. :P) and very little Muggles are aweare of its existence. You know it's a party when Harry and Ron are set to bring the firewhisky.

A/N: God knows what dark corners this spawned from. One of those 'middle-of-the-night' spontanuous plot boggarts I believe—I know it's probably been done before, but I just like to put my own spin on something. And sorry to say but Dumbledore did not make it through year 6. I know, I'm so mean to him. There should be a law…even though he's not in a lot of fics to begin with. *Ahem. Raises eyebrows and returns to newspaper.*

Anyhoodle…Let's hope I at least got a couple of those voices right, seeing as I can't write Lupin or Sirius for shit {Because I most likely gave it all to Sevvy}. But hey, WE LOVE 'EM ANYWAY.3

Enjoyxx

Hermione G

Am Having A Masqurade Themed Ball For My Birthday and All Of My Friends Are Invited! (Except you, Severus. You really ought to update your profile, you know. Saying 'I Potions Forever' has been quite overdone.) Will Be Held At Shell Cottage At 8pm Sharp So Don't Be Late. And Don't Forget The Firewhisky, Boys!

xx

AgeOfAnAuror

This Ball is going to be the best of the year, Hermione! Hope you've brought plenty of food…Hermione G

Oh I would like for everything to go brilliantly, as it is, I thought it very kind of Bill and Fluer to agree for the ball to be held there. :)

TheRedRanger

Yes! Firewhisky is ours for the taking! Let the games begin. *evil cackle*

CrackedFirecracker

Cannot WAIT to tell Luna about this3 I'll remind her to bring the music and Scrabble for sure.

CleverestPrince

I resent that, miss Granger. You'd better thank Merlin I can't deduct points from your house anymore. Still, I do hope all goes well. Shame if a certain two pranksters were to muck things up…

FreddyKrugerWillHauntYourDreamsTonight

Oi! Try being a bit more greatful, it might suit you. Fought the war for your sort.

AndSoWillCuriousGeorge

Bet you're sorry you won now, eh? ;)

FullMoonyAlchemist

C'mon boys. I'm sure he meant well. Anyway, sounds like a great party Hermione, I bet Tonks would love a good break from changing nappies. :P

BlackStallion

Wicked party idea, 'Mione…I'll be sure to wear something dashing as usual. Cheers. :*

RiddleMeThis

…..I shall kill you all and the Dark Lord shall rise once more.

FatherOfTheDragons

Not a problem Hermione, we didn't have much planned this weekend, anyway. Although I must say I am rather concerned about your, erm, 'troll' is it? The one who commented above? Seems we've been receiving minor, to major, threats from them lately as well. Do take care.

BatonBeauty

No worries Hermione, I'm sure everything will turn out just splendid! But dear, I do share my husbend's concern in the matter of some person commenting in a way such as that. It could be someone just playing a very unwise trick, with all those weirdos out there, but maybe you should keep an eye out just in case, yes? I'm certain someone over at the Ministery will have this issue fix in a jiff.

Best wishes, Fluer

xx

Hermione was shocked to find so many responses from her friends that quickly, when she'd only just posted a few minutes ago. She logged out and set to work on her list of last minute things she needed to get done before the ball, which was now a day away. Realizing this, she set the notepad down and logged back in, visiting Harry's page before turning in for the night wouldn't be so bad, right? She had the destinct feeling the more she used this website that technology could be very addicting and saw why the Muggle world relied on it's use daily. Even though she'd promised her friends and family she was only using Magicbook for means of communcation when she was too busy to write and could easily send a quick message through her moblie—the website was linked directly to the Minstery and charms were placed for the upmost safety against tracers and you had to meet certain requrements to even abtain acess to the site, she noticed they all updated almost regulerly as well:

AgeOfAnAuror

Well, looks like 'Mione has a secret admirer…BUT SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN A GODFATHER WHOSE HALF YOUR AGE.

Just stating a fact, of course. ;)

Hermione G

Shut up, Harry! Besides, 37 is not necessarily considered 'old'…by Muggle standards, at least. And he is NOT my 'secret admirer', we're just good friends is all and he has been very respectful when aiding me with constructive facts to further my research.

AgeOfAnAuror

Er, sorry 'Mione, only messing about. Figured the uh, smiley face, would suffice it. Thought you didn't bother with my page…?

Hermione G

Yes, well I do. Sometimes. So there. And why doesn't that troll, RiddleMe-something or other, leave my page alone? I've reported them twice already on 3 of their other accounts, I can tell it's them by the awful things they write, but the Ministery has not yet written me back as to why they haven't caught them.

AgeOfAnAuror

Wish I knew. Must've been a follower at some point. Or just Malfoy and his Minions fooling around.

SlytherinComfort

I didn't touch your precious Granger's page, Potter! Way too old for that sort of thing now anyway.

AgeOfAnAuror

Oh yeah, what are you doing lurking up in mine then?

SlytherinComfort

I wasn't lurking!

AgeOfAnAuror

Guilty…

Hermione G

As charged. Sure your father won't be hearing of this? :3 SlytherinComfort

I won't even bother replying to that, I am above such childish frivolities. No, I've come to say that I too have been subjected to this Riddle fellow's utter futility and total tactless way of speaking about a wizard long deserving of being dead. And I don't have 'Minions' as you so foolishly put it…I have Blaise. Whose entirely too honorable and respectable to stoop to your level.

TheRedRanger Control yourself Malfoy, you'll spurt. I'm sure it's just some wanker having a laugh, eh? Hermione G

That's no exsuse, Ron. I think I'll have a word with the department on Monday. This has gone far enough.

AgeOfAnAuror

Gonna have to side with 'Mione on this one, Ron, just to be safe.

SlytherinComfort

Though it pains me to say it, if anyone can get the Ministery's arse in gear, its Granger.

TheRedRanger

Well you're probably right mate, still think it's someone having us on but I know the Ministery will sort it out. Btw Hermione, maybe you should consider talking Sirius into protecting you from here on…*wiggles eyebrows*

Hermione G

Whatever Ronald. You sorry lot will not ruin my party!

To Be Continued…

Behind the names:

Hermione G – Practical and original, Hermy probably wouldn't resort to silly names rather than put her best foot forward so you'll know where she stands.

AgeOfAnAuror – I don't know where the fuck I was going with this one. But Potterheads be crazy at 3 in the morning.

TheRedRanger – I thought Ron could use a little more confidence and a little less thickness, if you know what I mean. Plus, the Red Ranger rules the mother chucking world.

CrackedFirecracker – Somehow I visioned Ginny as being slightly broken from just how much the war took from her and the rest of the family, but that doesn't mean she wasn't made better for it and albeit can still be a fiesty firecracker.

SlytherinComfort – Bwahahaha. Slytherin's do it better indeed. ;)

CleverestPrince – Well…what do you expect when you kill off a beloved character? Damn striaght we bring him back and make the world right again.

FreddyKrugerWillHauntYourDreamsTonight – Not Kruger per se, but Fred Weasley will. :D

AndSoWillCuriousGeorge – Like I said, 3 in the morning…an excuse I'm sticking with.

FullMoonyAlchemist – I really figured the 'mysterious and understanding' Remus would use this and no one, except maybe Black or Potter, would know what the hell it even stands for. I hoped most Anime fans would, though.

BlackStallion - ….

…

Heh. Well hell, I'll just trug over to my bunk now, won't I?

RiddleMeThis – Can it be? Oh but it couldn't. Guess we'll have to find out in chapter 2.