June 1979
"I still don't get why you want to check this place out. This neighborhood is kind of…skeevy."
Yona sighs and glances out the window; they're passing by a park, but judging by its appearance—dead grass, littered with trash, a playground that's surely seen better days—none of its visitors in the recent past have been children. "I thought the price seemed reasonable. We can't afford to live in a palace, you know."
Lili raises a brow. "Maybe not, but the places my father showed us were very nice. They were all close to campus, too. More expensive, maybe, but I'd be more than willing to—"
"No, Lili. I couldn't ask you to do that for me. I want to be able to afford half the rent myself."
It's Lili's turn to sigh as they make a left turn up ahead. "You keep saying that. It makes me feel bad, though. Who has the time to make money and be a full-time student nowadays? Where are you even going to work, anyway?"
"I'm not sure. I'll find a place." Yona bites her lip. "Besides, you shouldn't feel guilty. Why should you have to pay extra just because my…well, you know?"
"…I understand, but I—oh, damn, I just realized I'm running on fumes!"
Sure enough, when Yona leans over to sneak a glance at the dashboard, a fat, neon-green E mockingly glows back at her. "Is there a station around here?"
"I don't see—ah, there's one up ahead, I think. We're saved! Looks like there's a car wash, too. That's pretty convenient."
"Talk about a close call," Yona sighs. "I don't want to be late to that open house."
"It's a good thing you made us leave early, then. Wanna get a snack or something inside while we wait?"
"I'm fine." Yona chuckles when Lili wrinkles her nose; the scent of gasoline hits them hard the second they pull up next to the fuel pumps, but it's only when she steps out of the car that Yona sees the man standing next to them. She narrowly avoids jumping out of her skin, but to her embarrassment can't stifle the tiny squeak that escapes.
"I apologize if I've startled you," the man says instantly, a bit forcefully, as he bows to her. The sight catches her off guard—talk about overly polite, she thinks with a light flush on her cheeks.
"Ah, no, it's fine…" She trails off and forgets to blink when the man raises his head. His skin is among the palest shade she's ever seen, with silvery hair to match. His poised, regal features look starkly out of place when paired with fuel pumps and scraped asphalt, but she tries to avoid staring at him. (He's certainly attractive enough to warrant such attention. Yona banishes those thoughts from her mind.) "You don't have to apologize. It's my fault for not paying attention."
"O-Of course not. I've failed in my position as an attendant if I allow you to take the blame. I must at least offer you a discount—"
"I've told you a million times, Kija, you can't just offer customers discounts for no reason," a boy with light brown hair says as he walks past them, a stained towel in hand. He glances towards Yona and Lili. "You guys coming in? We're a bit short on staff, so I'll have to be your cashier."
The two women follow wordlessly, though Yona has to bite her tongue to stop herself from questioning if the boy really works here—he looks young and effeminate, not at all the type of person to be working in such a place. (Though she could have said the same for the white-haired man stammering out incoherent apologies after them. She quickly decides that it isn't any of her business, but struggles to withhold a good-natured chuckle at his expense.)
Yona takes the time to survey the store while Lili pays for gas and snack food; it's a big place, with aisles upon aisles of food and drink. None of it is made-to-order, but she supposes that the rotating glass cases of soft pretzels and hot dogs are impressive enough on their own. She spies a coffee machine on the far side of the store, but just as she senses the repercussions of yesterday's all-nighter creeping up on her something twitches in her peripheral vision.
A man in a hood is standing near the bathrooms. She can't see his eyes, but there's a downward-sloping curve to his mouth and a red mark (she wonders if it's face paint) on either of his cheeks. He's a little scary, a lot intimidating, but there's something about the way his knuckles whiten as he clutches the mop in his hands that disarms her immediately. She wonders if he's staring at her, and sends him a small smile and a wave. He bites his lip; he's definitely nervous, she thinks. Probably shy. It's kind of endearing, actually.
"Here's your change."
When Yona turns back around she spies a 'HELP WANTED' sign taped to the counter. "You said you guys were short-staffed earlier, right?"
"Yeah," the boy shrugs. "A few people who usually worked the morning shifts quit not that long ago. We can make do without them, but it's been kind of a pain."
Lili nearly drops her bag of chips when Yona asks for a job application.
She learns that the feminine boy is the manager when she shows up to the interview. She also learns that not only is he her age, he's world-weary enough to pass for three times that. His name is Yun, and the first question he asks when she sits down across from him is if she's willing to work in the early mornings. When she says yes, Yun tries his best to appear professional, but it's obvious he's more than ready to hire her on the spot.
Yona starts work two days later.
"You'll be cashiering for your first shift," Yun tells her as she stifles a yawn. It's some ungodly hour in the morning, her uniform is scratchy, and the only coherent thoughts in her brain revolve around her increasing desperation for a shot of espresso. "I'll be checking inventory. Try not to pass out at the register."
Yun's voice is deadpan. His sympathy card is clearly maxed out, and she can't blame him. He's been carrying the workload of multiple people for an amount of time she has no desire to ask about. Even the thought makes her want to weep.
Her spine turns ramrod-straight when the doorbells chime and a tall man walks in, but she relaxes upon seeing the familiar uniform. A coworker, then. She tries to greet him with a smile and a polite nod, but it's hard to keep from staring—his hair is long, tied back in a ribbon, and distinctively green. He's older than her, too, handsome in a suave way, wearing a smirk fit to make women swoon when he lays eyes on her.
"Good morning," his voice caresses her ears. "So you're the new hire Mother Yun was talking about."
Mother Yun? She nods and squashes the urge to laugh. "I am. My name is Yona. It's a pleasure to meet you…?"
"Jae-ha. I'm the beautiful man people pay to wash their cars."
She allows herself to laugh. So he's a charmer, then. "That's quite an introduction. I'm sure you must make good tips, talking like that."
"It seems you've got my number already, but just to be sure, why don't I write it down for you?"
Yona isn't normally self-conscious (not anymore), but she cringes internally at the undignified horselaugh that's wrenched out of her throat. "I wonder how many times you've used that line." She's terrible at biting her tongue, isn't she?
Luckily Jae-ha doesn't seem to mind. She'd even say he looks amused. "It's been a while since a cute girl bit back at me. It's a shame you're here on cashier duty while I'm stuck outside."
"What, are you lonely?" she teases. "Isn't there more than one person who washes the cars?"
The dinging of the doors and the exuberant voice that follows cut off Jae-ha's response. "Morning! Is this the new cashier? It's nice to meet you, miss!" A torrent of greetings pours from the young man's mouth in mere seconds. Yona can't even get a word in edgewise, not that she would dare interrupt when she's still in dire need of coffee. The blond currently talking Jae-ha's ear off must be superhuman to have so much energy so early in the morning, but she finds herself more impressed than anything.
"So what's your name?" she finally manages to ask when he pauses to take a breath.
"Zeno's name is Zeno! And you, miss?"
"Yona."
"That's a good name. I'm sure you'll enjoy working here, and you can ask Zeno if you—"
"Jae-ha, Zeno, why aren't you two busy setting up your station for the day?!"
"That would be Mother Yun," Jae-ha chuckles. "We'd best not upset him more."
"He's a very scary boy," Zeno nods in agreement.
"Uh, excuse me!" she calls out as the two head towards the back. "I was wondering—there was another guy here before, mopping the floors. He was wearing a hood and had red markings on his cheeks."
"That would be Shin-ah," Jae-ha says, clearly amused by her description. "I hope he didn't scare you. He doesn't mean any harm."
"Not at all. I just wondered if he works here…"
Jae-ha sends her a knowing grin, but she's clueless as to what it means. "He does."
Yona nods politely. "Thanks Jae-ha, Zeno. I look forward to working with you."
"The coffee machine's not working," a customer tells her an hour into her shift.
"…Ah."
"Just 'ah'?"
"…I'm sorry?"
The woman barely looks like she's pushing thirty, but her frown lines form deep faults in her skin. "Is that all you have to say, or are you going to do something about it? I have a long drive ahead of me."
Yona knows she's floundering, but can't think of anything to say. She thanks the heavens when Yun comes to her rescue. "The coffee machine's been broken for a few days," he tells her. This naturally incenses the woman further, and Yona does her best to try to blend into her surroundings as the customer spews vitriol into the amazingly stoic expression on Yun's face. She doesn't dare interrupt. "We have someone coming in to fix it tomorrow, but I can't do anything for you now. My apologies, ma'am."
With the litany of complaints that follows, Yona finds her newfound respect for customer service employees rapidly skyrocketing.
The next day she's counting change for a customer when someone walks in and catches her eye, and it doesn't come as a welcome surprise that she knows him. She'd know that face anywhere.
"Hak?" It slips out before she can bite her tongue, before it occurs to her that she should probably be embarrassed to be seen working at a gas station—but then she sees what he's wearing, the nametag and the handymen's get-up, and confusion overpowers the desire to preserve dignity. "What are you doing here?"
He looks just as surprised, but to his credit manages to step out of the customer's way as they pass by. "…You," he finally says, and his voice, deeper (much deeper) than she remembers, is like a slap in the face. "What are you doing here?"
"I asked you first." It's a petty thing to say, but also true—and, if she were being harsh, she would have laughed at him for asking that question when she's wearing a gas station uniform and standing behind a cash register, but politeness is a virtue. Or at least it should be.
Apparently Hak realizes this as well. "Yeah, that was stupid of me, wasn't it? Anyway, I came to fix the coffee machine. Damn thing's been broken on and off for weeks."
"I wouldn't know. I only started working here yesterday."
"That so?" Hak pauses and gives her a once-over. "You really look the part. Even got a haircut. And you were always so weird about your hair."
"Well, I've grown out of that."
"I can tell. Never would've imagined you working at a place like this, though."
"Things are…different now. I'm living in an apartment not far from here, with a friend. I'm still in school, so…I decided it was time to get a job." She wonders if that's too much information, but she's always had loose lips around Hak—who's apparently working as a handyman now. What else has she missed in the last few years?
Speaking of Hak, he's now staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Things really are different, huh? You've changed a lot. Surprised you even remember me."
Even though she knows he's joking, Yona figures not many people would forget Son Hak, particularly if they'd done something to piss him off. She counts herself lucky that she's not included in that category, and that even if she were, their history as childhood friends is bound to win her a few brownie points. "Hak, we've known each other since before we could talk and went to school together until I was sixteen. I could never forget you."
He's still got a great poker face, she'll grant him that, but the little smirk pushes every single one of her buttons in a way only he'd ever been able to accomplish. "Glad to hear it."
The silence becomes cloying after only a few seconds. "Don't you…uh, have a job to do? A coffee machine that needs fixing?"
"I do." Unflappable as always, she thinks as he heads over to the machine in question. It's something that used to annoy her when they were children, but which she now recognizes as very adult. How odd that after a few years of not seeing each other she would feel closer to him. He's older now. They both are. Gone is the boyish figure from her childhood; in his place is a man who towers over her, with a broad back and shoulders, a strong jaw and an Adam's apple as big as her fist. Yona tries not to stare.
Alas, her efforts are in vain, as out of the corner of her eye she sees him sneak furtive glances in her direction every minute or so.
July 1979
She isn't sure if he'd been trying to be discreet, but she notices it regardless. How the counter space around the register always looks like it's been freshly cleaned a few minutes before she arrives for her shift. How when she returns from a bathroom break the cartons of cigarettes have been meticulously stacked and reorganized after she's fumbled them in the course of tending to the customers.
And perhaps the most obvious, how when an especially ill-mannered (and often male) customer is rude or vulgar towards her, he will inch closer to the register, hood drawn over his eyes, lips pursed and muscles taut as if waiting for her to give the signal to throw him out. She never takes him up on it, just shakes her head and smiles soothingly (she has to deal with this herself; she shouldn't rely on others to defend her) as if to say she can handle it.
And after either his shift or hers is over, every time, she approaches him with shining eyes and says, "Thank you, Shin-ah."
August 1979
It doesn't take long for her to gain a regular customer. There are others, of course, people who live or work nearby, but there's one among them who stands out the most. He doesn't look like the others—he looks well off. Definitely in better condition financially than most of their regular customers. His name (as he'd so kindly bestowed it upon her) is Tae-jun.
"Good morning!" he greets her enthusiastically as she rings up his purchase; it's the same as always, a pack of mint gum. It's a daily routine at this point. Yona wonders if he's actually managing to chew it all in a span of twenty-four hours, or if the packs are piling up at home or in the flashy Maserati out in the parking lot. She pictures him drowning in a sea of plastic wrapping and can't restrain a concerned smile at the thought of his minty-fresh demise.
"Will that be all?"
"Yes, thank you."
He's openly staring at her as she counts change for his fifty-dollar bill. This has to be intentional, right? What sane person pays for a pack of gum with a fifty? She sees Hak (who has yet to fix the perpetually-broken coffee machine after several botched attempts) failing to contain his guffaws from his spot across the store, and it's a struggle not to join him.
"Here you go," she says politely, her voice strangled by repressed laughter. "Have a nice day."
"Thank you. Ah—I was wondering…" This is new. He usually doesn't say more than a few words of flattery; even Hak looks interested, judging by his (poorly hidden) attempt at eavesdropping. "I recognize you from somewhere."
Her blood runs cold. "O-Oh. Do you? Maybe you've seen me around here before."
"Maybe. Or…" His intense scrutiny makes her skin crawl, and she unconsciously leans backwards. "Are you sure you're not a princess?"
She relaxes. This must be an advanced form of flattery. Oh, well—as long as that's all it is, she won't dare complain. "That's kind of you, but no. If I were a princess, I'd be off in some tower somewhere, wouldn't I?" She can hear Hak choking on laughter a few feet away.
"Are you certain you're not a princess? Or an heiress, maybe?"
In that instant, Yona's hope shrivels up and dies. Ah, so he's a sycophant, then—and not a clever one at that, if he hadn't heard the news. If things hadn't gone the way they did, she'd have smiled and acted the flattered part as she always had, but now all his flattery amounts to is a sour taste in her mouth. She wonders how he'd recognized her. She'd even cut her hair to try to avoid public scrutiny, but her attempt seems foolish now. With flashy hair like hers, wearing a bag over her head might've been the less conspicuous route. "…No," she finally says, her voice barely a whisper. "I'm no one important. You've got the wrong person. I'm sorry."
Tae-jun has the good grace to look apologetic, and she manages to hold a smile until he's out the door. She doesn't even register Hak approaching until he's looming over her.
" 'No one important,' eh?"
She can't think of anything to say, so she says nothing.
"…Hey, you alright?"
"I'm fine." And it's true; more than anything she's relieved that she'd managed to avoid further confrontation. She covertly wipes her nose.
"It's funny."
"What is?"
Hak's grin is practically feral, spelling nothing but misery for the poor soul he's decided to aim it at—and, she realizes with horror, she's the target. "That he called you a princess. I seem to remember you forcing me to pretend to be your royal bodyguard on the playground when we were little."
"H-Hak!" He's not really bringing that up, is he? She'll never hear the end of it now. "That was such a long time ago—"
"Yes, and you told all the other kids to call you 'Princess' as well—"
"Why you—you're such a bully, Hak!" He's not even attempting to hide his laughter now. Her cheeks are flaming, but damn him, his laughter is contagious. Against her will, she giggles along with him. "You're so mean, bringing that up again…"
"But it worked, didn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
He leans over so they're at eye level, but with Hak, she feels no urge to back away. "You don't look like you're about to cry anymore."
September 1979
Hak's taken to calling her "Princess" both when they're alone and in the presence of her coworkers, but to be honest, she doesn't mind. It doesn't take long for Kija to begin calling her that, too (though the way he says it is strange, without emphasis or even a hint of irony).
If nothing else, it gives her a sense of nostalgia for their childhood days.
One day, when some of the afternoon and night employees are beginning their shifts, Yun calls them to the back room. Everyone's here: she, Jae-ha, Kija, Zeno, and Shin-ah are all standing, crammed into the little space that hasn't been invaded by packed boxes. "What's wrong?" Kija asks anxiously. "Someone's not being fired, are they?"
"I wish I could afford such luxuries," Yun sighs, "but no. Actually, I called you guys here because of these." There are two large boxes at Yun's feet, overflowing with what appears to be colorful snack food. "These are what we had to take off the shelf today. You guys know the drill."
Yona stares quizzically as the others proceed to grab handfuls of the expired food. "Um…what are you guys doing?"
Jae-ha places an arm around her shoulders. "You see, Yona dear, when some of the products are past their date, Yun tends to offer them to us instead of throwing them out. Think of it like a bonus."
She doesn't understand how a free bag of expired pretzels could in any scenario be considered a bonus, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it? "That's nice of you, Yun."
The young manager blushes, much to her amusement. "I-It's nothing. Just take something already."
She places a hand over her mouth. "You're so cute."
"What'd you say?!"
"Oi, Yun, I'm here to try to fix that piece of crap again," Hak announces as he walks through the door. He pauses and makes a sweeping glance across the room (his gaze lands on her face last, she notices).
"Thanks. Feel free to take some leftovers while you work."
Hak makes to do just that, but Yona can't help but notice the subtle annoyance that clings to him like a thick blanket. If he'd been having a bad day, he's not doing a very good job at hiding it.
"Always a pleasure to see you, Hak," Jae-ha says, "though I'm sorry you're going to such trouble on our behalf."
"Ah."
"It's a shame the coffee machine just won't stop breaking. I could have sworn you fixed it for good last time, but it just refuses to work." Jae-ha sighs, brushes a strand of hair out of his face. "I can't help but wonder if it's sabotage."
Hak goes still, but covers it up an instant later by swiftly grabbing a bag of chips and sweeping towards the door. "Ah, you make a good point, Droopy Eyes. Let me get back to you on that."
Jae-ha chuckles when the door clicks shut behind him. "What an interesting man."
"Does Hak not like you?" she asks before thinking. "Sorry if that's rude, I was just—"
"I'm not offended," he interrupts. "You may have a point, anyway. I think I rub him the wrong way sometimes, though we don't dislike each other."
"Why?"
"Hmm…well, I think I enjoy antagonizing him a bit too much, but I do believe I crossed a line the other day."
The other day…?
"I was wondering if that were the case," Kija interjects, looking slightly flustered as he joins their conversation. "He's been particularly rude to me lately. He won't stop calling me by that horrid nickname. It's even worse than before!"
"Nickname?"
"The mister calls him 'White Snake,'" Zeno offers happily as he proceeds to start on his third bag of barbecue chips. "He doesn't like it very much."
Yona blanches; that sounds more like an insult than a nickname, but it's fitting for Hak. "That's…um…unique, I suppose."
"Hak says it's because Kija's always lurking quietly near the fuel pumps, and frequently surprises customers with his sudden appearance, like a snake. The 'white' is because...well, you've got working eyes, I assume, Yona dear?"
"Yes, yes, and he calls you 'Droopy Eyes.' I swear, there's never a moment of peace with you lot around." Yun pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "Well, I guess it's better than you all hating each other, anyway."
Between Kija and Jae-ha's simultaneous utterances of "I apologize for my misconduct!" and "Now don't be like that, Yun," Yona can't stifle her laughter. This group of people—she's getting closer day by day to considering them friends—are nothing like what she had expected when she first applied to this job. It's not exactly mundane or peaceful, and they all seem to be oddballs in one way or the other, but it's fun, and she enjoys talking with them as much as working.
As the others continue to make merry, she notices the odd one out in the corner of the room: Shin-ah. To this day she's only heard him say a few words, some of them to her, but always in a quiet, wispy voice. Though they're often placed in the same workspace (with her manning the register or restocking, and him mopping and cleaning) he doesn't seem to enjoy small talk, and has certainly never initiated it. But it's clear to her that he's not standoffish. He's shy. That much is obvious, what with how protective he gets when he sees her being harangued by customers, and how considerate he is towards her as a coworker. He's a good person.
But she's still concerned when he stays utterly silent, even as the others talk amongst themselves. Though Zeno makes an attempt to include him in the conversation, Shin-ah remains unmoved.
"Excuse me." He says it so softly that at first she doesn't realize he's spoken, and stares as he makes his way through the door that leads into the alleyway behind the station. Her brows furrow; there's nothing besides dumpsters out there, as far as she's aware. She's been out there more than a few times to take out the trash and can't remember seeing anything noteworthy. Does Shin-ah smoke?
She doesn't want to seem nosy, so she waits for a minute to pass before excusing herself and slinking out the door after him. She closes it silently behind her and curses her decision not to wear her jacket, as the afternoon breeze blows cold against her bare skin. Rubbing her arms, she glances up and down the alley, and from about twenty feet away sees Shin-ah kneeling on the ground. Yona's about to call out to him when she notices that he's not alone—there's a tiny squirrel at his feet, eagerly eating something from the young man's hand. Near his foot rests an opened bag of potato chips.
Her heart twinges. "So this is what you're doing."
Shin-ah jolts and whips around, and for an instant she spies a flash of gold beneath his hood, but it's quickly covered as he tugs it down again. "Yona…"
She steps forward, trying not to scare off the squirrel that has burrowed into Shin-ah's cupped palms. "I was wondering why you came out here, but this explains it. How long have you been feeding him?"
"…She."
"Pardon?"
"She. Ao's…a girl."
"Oh! So you named her." She examines his furry friend as he stands up to his full height, clicking her tongue as the animal stares up at her with big, friendly eyes. "It doesn't suit her."
"…You're right."
"But it's a good thing that you're doing it!" she says quickly. "Taking care of her, I mean. I'm sure it must be hard to survive in the city alone. Ao must be grateful. She isn't even trying to run away." She grins up at him. "She seems very attached to you."
He's staring down at her with an open mouth, but she wouldn't quite call it gaping. Rather, he looks surprised that she's saying even more than a few words to him, and doesn't know how to properly respond. "…Thank you."
"What are you thanking me for? I didn't do anything." She wrings her hands, brings them to her chest. "You're the one who always helps me. Thanks for that."
"You're…nice to me."
"What?"
He looks down (at least she thinks he does) and clutches Ao closer to his chest. "…You're nice. Not…all people are, so…thank you."
October 1979
She's just clocked out and is leaving the store when she spies Kija lingering by the fuel pumps. This in itself isn't anything notable. It's a slow hour, and there aren't any customers at the moment, but it still takes her by surprise that he's sitting on a bucket rather than standing as he usually does. She knows he prides himself on his etiquette. And he doesn't look too happy, either—his eyes are downcast, hands dangling between his legs, fingers digging into his khakis. Yona has half a mind to go over and ask what's wrong when someone places a hand on her shoulder.
"You may want to leave him alone for a bit, Yona dear," Jae-ha whispers against her ear, sending goose bumps down her spine. "He's been in a mood all day."
"What happened?"
"Probably nothing specific. Kija gets like this sometimes, when he's feeling particularly discouraged. He lives in a constant state of anxiety, as you can probably tell. Mostly because he sets such high standards for himself and others. If there's one thing he has in spades, it's that pride of his—an admirable trait, but it doesn't do much good when you're working a job like this." Jae-ha scratches the back of his neck, his frown (a rarity for him) readily visible. "He's cut out for something much more grand."
That's a feeling she can easily understand. "…Is there anything I can do?"
Jae-ha gives her a sidelong glance. "Hmm…now that I think about it, maybe if you tried talking to him, it would make him feel better." His devious grin shines through; she'd been wondering when that usual smile would make its appearance. "I know that when I'm feeling a bit down, the first thing that cheers me up is having a cute girl comfort me."
Yona rolls her eyes and tries to hide her flustered grin. "Now that's no good, Jae-ha. You may be a huge flirt, but Kija would probably prefer to have the girl he actually likes play that role." She thinks she hears what sounds like Jae-ha stifling his laughter, but can't be quite sure. "I think I'll just go talk some sense into him." Jae-ha doesn't try to stop her when she walks over to him.
Kija flinches like a cat caught in sprinklers when she clears her throat to get his attention. "P-Princess," he stutters, "you startled me. I'm sorry for not noticing you sooner…"
"Don't worry about it, Kija. Are you feeling alright?" She decides to tread lightly, unsure how much he would feel comfortable with sharing; he's obviously much more familiar with Jae-ha than her, and she doesn't want to seem as if she's prying. "You looked…upset."
"I'm fi—" He stops midsentence upon meeting her eyes, frowns, and looks away again. "…Well, if I'm being honest, it's been a bit difficult lately, but it's nothing that you should concern yourself with. I'm sure you've got more than your own share of problems without having to worry about me."
"That's not true!" Her voice is surprisingly loud, and even Kija looks shocked. "I mean…if you feel bad about something, I might be able to help. You can talk to me if you want." She punctuates her offer with a bright smile. "I'll do my best."
Kija's cheeks are bright red when he looks up at her. "I…if you don't think this is a strange question, can I ask…do you think I'm useful?"
"Useful? What do you mean?"
"I mean—does what I do matter? It's a principle of mine to be enthusiastic about the work I do, and I initially thought I could extend that principle to a job like this, but lately it feels…pointless. Like my being here doesn't actually accomplish anything."
Oh, how well she understands. It's almost painful to hear, like she's listening to a tape recording of herself. "You know, having to work the job I am now…not that long ago, I would have considered something like this beneath me. It would have trampled all over my pride to be working at a place like this. But the longer I work here, the more I'm beginning to realize that there's no shame in it." She pauses. "So, regardless of whether you decide to continue working here or find a career…as long as you live honestly, according to your beliefs, then I think your life has value. You have the potential to do whatever you want to, Kija. I won't let you say it's pointless."
Judging by the look on his face, her words shock him just as much as they do her. It seems she's forgotten to hold her tongue again.
Kija lowers his head. "T-Thank you!"
She lets out a sigh of relief before exchanging goodbyes. It's nice to have been able to make him feel better, even in such a small way. She passes by Jae-ha again on her way to the parking lot (Lili said she would pick her up fifteen minutes after her shift) and shoots him a thumbs-up.
"Impressive," he compliments her. "It looks like he's feeling better already. What did you say to him?"
"I just told him that his life is valuable no matter what he decides to do, and that he has potential."
"Did you now? Ah, that can't be good for his heart. Poor Kija-kun's going to be lying awake restlessly in bed all night!"
"What? Why would he?"
"…Yona dear, are you familiar with the term 'praise kink?'"
Not five minutes later, after Yona has been sufficiently mortified by Jae-ha's impromptu sex ed tutorial, she settles quietly into the passenger seat of Lili's car.
"He's quite elegant for a man who works at a gas station," Lili says as Jae-ha sees them off with a deceptively charming salute.
"You don't know the half of it."
Something Jae-ha said before is still bothering her, and it's not the unnecessarily long explanation of what he theorizes to be Kija's sexual predilections (though that's a close second). It's what he'd told her before: how he'd apparently said something that made Hak angry, but avoided telling her what that "something" actually was. She knows Hak's not a petty person. He's always been patient with her, putting up with her when they were kids and remaining by her side even until he graduated from high school two years ahead of her. He only angers—genuinely angers, not his usual brand of prickly and playfully antagonistic—when dealing with people who are actively hostile. She can't imagine Jae-ha being someone like that (even if he's an incorrigible flirt).
Yona runs circles in her mind about what Jae-ha could have possibly said to him as she watches Hak tinker with the coffee machine's innards. She's not being conspicuous, is she? Is it obvious that she keeps looking at him? She hopes not. A part of her also doesn't care.
Hak, who finally seems to realize that he's being stared at, idly scratches the side of his face. "What are you doing?"
"Me?"
"Who else would I be talking to?"
She looks at Shin-ah, who now appears to be trying to meld with the wall. "Well—"
"I'm staring right at you."
"I wasn't looking at you! I was just, you know, staring off into space."
"Uh-huh. If you say so." He finishes screwing the final bolts into place. "Well, this thing's still not working, so I guess I'll have to come back tomorrow." He packs up his things and heads toward the back room, presumably to go give Yun the rundown, and as soon as he's gone Yona seizes her chance.
Jae-ha had teased Hak about not fixing the coffee machine yet. He'd also said something about sabotage, but she's more curious about how Hak (apparently) hasn't been able to fix it at all. Well, suspicious might be a better word. She grabs a Styrofoam cup and holds it under the nozzle, presses the button, and holds her breath as the machine rumbles to life.
"Yona?" She hears Shin-ah step closer. She hears the question in his voice: What are you doing? She might consider telling him if it wouldn't make her look paranoid.
She ends up looking even worse when the machine hisses and clambers to a clumsy halt, then proceeds to spray piping-hot coffee on everything within a three-foot radius—and, to her dismay, she's the prime target. Yona only dedicates an instant's despair to the fate of her uniform before her skin starts burning.
Shin-ah's by her side a mere second after she yelps and drops her cup, and what little had been inside of it spills onto the linoleum. There go her shoes, too, she mourns as she's pulled away from the berserk machine. She'd let go of the button on reflex when it started spurting, but there still manages to be a huge mess, not counting the throbbing pain all over her bare hands and forearms, and even a little bit on her neck and face.
"Yona!" His voice is louder than usual, elevated with concern, and as Shin-ah examines her palms she sees him bite down on his lip, hard.
"I'm fine," she says, though her skin's still smarting and she swears she can hear something sizzling, but that could just be her paranoia talking. "Don't worry about me. I messed up…" She's more embarrassed than anything when she looks back at the mess she'd made, at the puddle of coffee on the floor where Shin-ah had cleaned earlier that day. "Sorry, I'll clean it…"
Shin-ah shakes his head vigorously.
Yona frowns, and guilt escalates. "Shin-ah—"
"What the hell's going on?"
Her heart leaps into her throat when Hak comes back in, with Yun not far behind him. Hak sounds and looks angry, but more than that, when he sees her, there's a touch of what she recognizes as fear. "Hak, I—"
"I told you it was broken!" She flinches and stiffens when he storms over to her and roughly pulls her hands from Shin-ah's grasp. She takes careful note of how his face contorts as he examines the angry red stains and coffee still dripping from her skin. His eyes flutter back and forth, and when they see the same red marks on her arms and neck and cheeks his face becomes hard as stone, and his eyes somehow harder than that. "What the hell were you thinking, you idiot?"
Her lip quivers, but she refuses to cry. "I—I thought…I'm sorry," she says as she settles for lowering her head in shame. "I already told Shin-ah I'd clean it, so…" She knows she deserves to be yelled at. It's her own fault for being so stupid and not trusting Hak's judgment.
No one says anything, not even Yun. Her heart flutters when Hak's fingers trail along the skin of her palms. "…Your hands are burned," he finally says, and this time his voice is gentle, not angry or annoyed. "You should go get cleaned up and wrap them."
She's effectively tongue-tied. She looks up at him and his lids are heavy, his mouth downturned and eyes somber. "But…"
"I'll cover for you," Yun offers, "and Shin-ah can clean up the mess. It's not a big deal."
"No!" she objects. "That's not fair, I—"
"You can't argue your way out of this, Princess." Hak's tone promises hell to pay if she dares to challenge him. "We'll take care of this."
"I heard yelling," Jae-ha says as he walks in. He stops and takes in the scene. "What happened?" His gaze falls to Yona and Hak's clasped hands, and his mouth twitches. "This looks interesting."
"She burned herself trying to use that damn machine," Hak mutters before she can try to come up with some fabricated excuse. Not that it would do her much good to try, anyway. "Oi, Droopy Eyes, I normally wouldn't ask you for a favor, but can you—"
"Take care of her?" Jae-ha's beside them before Hak even finishes his sentence. "Don't even consider it a favor. I'm more than happy to help Yona."
She chalks up Hak's scowl to his apparently general annoyance with Jae-ha's personality. "Really, it's not a big d—"
"There's a sink and first aid kit in the back," Yun says as he takes his place behind the register. "Just don't try anything funny," he mutters in Jae-ha's direction.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Jae-ha says as he takes her elbow. In spite of her protests, she finds her will to resist dwindling as they all pointedly ignore her, and pouts as she allows herself to be guided towards the back room.
She hisses under her breath when her hands and arms are placed under cold water; she feels somewhat self-conscious while Jae-ha wipes a water-soaked towel against her neck and cheeks.
"Luckily it doesn't seem to be scalding," he comments, "but I'd keep holding your hands underwater for a few minutes, at least." He glances downward for a moment. "Your chest isn't hurting, is it?"
Ah, yes. She'd forgotten that her uniform shirt is ruined. She shakes her head. "No, it doesn't hurt. I'm just sorry it's stained."
Jae-ha walks away from her, and from across the room she hears him rifling through boxes. When he returns, he's holding a clean uniform shirt. "This is your size, right?"
"Uh, yes. How did you—?"
"In any case, I'll leave it here for you to change into when you're done. I'll step outside for a moment to give you some privacy."
On his way out the door, Yona stops him. "Jae-ha…you know, you're actually a really kind person."
He sends her a smirk over his shoulder. "Did you think I wasn't before?"
"It's not that. I thought…well, you seemed like a huge flirt at first, but you're actually pretty mature. It's nice."
He laughs at that. "Well, I am older than all of you. Someone's got to be the big brother around here."
He reenters after she's done changing, first aid kit in hand, and sets about the task of rubbing aloe vera gel on her hands and wrapping them in bandages. It's overkill, since they're probably only first-degree burns, but she's not feeling up to arguing about it. Jae-ha is having enough of a rough time trying to play doctor that she'd feel bad protesting.
"I'm not as good at this as Yun," he says apologetically. "He's always the one to fix us up when things go sideways."
"How often do things like this—nevermind." She really wants to ask what variety of injuries one sustains working at a full-service gas station—not to mention how frequently given the fact that they apparently have a familiar procedure—but she's a bit afraid of the answer she'll receive. Knowing her coworkers, it's probably best for her peace of mind that the topic is avoided altogether.
"You sound worried." Jae-ha laughs. "Don't be. We'd been getting along fine before you arrived, Yona dear."
"I know that. But it's hard for me to hold my tongue. I consider you all friends as well as coworkers."
"You're definitely an odd girl, that's for sure. It's no wonder our resident handyman is so enamored with you."
"You mean Hak? Hak is—well, we've known each other since we were little kids. It's not surprising that he'd yell at me for doing something stupid."
Jae-ha's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. "Say what? You knew each other before you started working here? For that long?"
She nods. "We went to school together until he graduated. I'm two years younger, so I didn't see him very often after that. At some point, we lost touch, but a part of me always wondered how he was doing. I suppose…I was too selfish to reach out myself, though." She glances down and sees that Jae-ha's hands have stopped moving. "What's wrong?"
"Ah—it's nothing," he says dismissively. "Just lost in thought." He finishes wrapping the bandages, and looks quite pleased with the end result as he turns her hands over to examine his handiwork. "Not bad, if I do say so myself."
When he doesn't let go of her hands after a few seconds, heat begins to creep up her neck. "Jae-ha?" And then he's pulling her in closer and leaning in close himself, and the heat tingling on the back of her neck turns into a full-blown inferno.
"Just a bit of advice," he whispers, and her eyes are blown wide at their sudden proximity, "if you make him wait too long, someone else might come along and try to take advantage of you."
"I…I don't—"
"Why are you guys taking so long? You've been in there for—" Yun blinks once, then twice as he stands in the doorway, and she makes an unbecoming sound as she snatches her hands out of Jae-ha's grasp. "Uh—what are you guys doing?"
"We're having an affair."
"Jae-ha!"
November 1979
She's just gotten off work and is cutting through the car wash on her way to the bus stop when a hose sprays her. Her initial reaction is to cry out, followed shortly by her covering her face and turning in the opposite direction of the spray.
"Sorry, Yona dear!" Sorry, her foot—if he thinks she can't hear the amusement in his voice, he's got another thing coming.
"Jae-ha! You did that on purpose, didn't you?" She looks over her shoulder, arms at the ready in case he decides to let loose on her again. He's got a hand over his mouth and shaking shoulders, and from behind him she sees Zeno grinning wide as can be. "I'm not a car, you know."
"Well, business is slow today, so Zeno and I were feeling a bit restless."
"Is that so?" Sure enough, as she glances around she doesn't see any customers besides a middle-aged man whose windshield Kija is cleaning vigorously. "I guess you have a point."
"You won't tell Yun on us, will you?"
She sends them her best defiant grin. "As long as you let me get my revenge."
"Yay! Looks like the miss is feeling lively today, huh?" Zeno cheers.
"Suddenly I'm fearing for my life."
Yona does her best to dodge the spray Jae-ha aims at her, and Zeno laughs heartily as he joins in. She's not very good at avoiding the water, and gets tired quickly (she's never been particularly agile or active) but she finds herself laughing along with the both of them anyway. Shin-ah exits from the back door in the middle of their game, and pauses to watch them while holding two full garbage bags.
"What are you three doing?" Kija yells as he jogs over to them after finishing with his customer. "Jae-ha! Stop spraying her immediately! The water pressure from that hose will—"
"Relax, Kija, it's not on the strongest setting."
"If it were, the young miss's skin would split open!"
While Kija struggles not to faint at the mere suggestion of Yona's bodily harm, another car pulls into the parking lot. She falters a bit in her steps and takes a face full of water when Hak steps out of the driver's seat. "…What is this?" he asks as he walks up to their group.
"A game!" Zeno tells him.
"I can see that." His eyes fall on Yona, and she stops moving; Jae-ha turns off the hose. "You're soaking wet. Aren't you cold?"
She shakes her head, her cheeks slightly flushed. "I'm fine." She feels like she's been saying that a lot lately. "I was just goofing off a little, Hak. I clocked out a few minutes ago."
She relaxes when his stoic expression morphs into a smile. "Don't worry, Princess—I'm not judging you or anything."
"I didn't say you were!"
"Oi, what the hell are you guys doing?!" Yun suddenly leans out of the back door, startling poor Shin-ah, who nearly drops the garbage bags he's holding. "Seriously? We have a slow day and the first thing you guys do is have a water fight? The rest of your shifts are almost over, anyway."
"Sorry, Yun," everyone says collectively.
Just as they're getting ready to disperse, a second car pulls up beside Hak's. The young woman driving it waves at the group, and Zeno enthusiastically returns the gesture before glancing over at Yun. "Hey, kid, do you mind if I leave five minutes early?"
Yun shrugs. "Go ahead. The night shift guys should be here soon anyway."
"Who is that, Zeno?" Kija asks curiously. "I don't believe I've seen that young woman pick you up before. Is she your sister?"
"That's Kaya, Zeno's wife."
At first, dead silence greets Zeno's revelation. "I beg your pardon?" Kija squeaks.
"Zeno…you're…married?" Jae-ha says it slowly, clearly still processing the information—though, to be fair, they all are.
The blond nods happily. "For a few years now! We actually met on Zeno's way to work—her car broke down on the side of the road, and Zeno helped her—"
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait—hold on a minute!" Jae-ha waves a hand in front of him and places the other on his forehead, as though he's struggling to comprehend the mere suggestion. "You met and married a woman while you were working here?"
"Yep!"
"Zeno, how long have you been working here?"
Zeno counts one-by-one on his fingers, and all of them collectively hold their breath when he starts over from scratch after getting to ten. He stops on his second two. "About twelve years, maybe?"
"Twelve years?!" Kija splutters.
"You're ancient!" Yona gasps, overcome with a sudden urge to scan Zeno's face for signs of age—but it's hopeless. There's not a wrinkle or laugh line to be seen. Not even five o'clock shadow.
"I'm surprised you're older than me," Jae-ha pouts.
"Well, Zeno was sixteen when he started." He nervously scratches the back of his head. "But Kaya tells me I look young still."
"She isn't wrong," Jae-ha mumbles. "Though that makes me curious—why are you still working the car wash? Shouldn't you have been able to become a manager by now?"
"Well, Zeno isn't interested in being in charge. Zeno likes washing the cars, so that's what Zeno does."
"And that's what you've been doing for twelve years?" Yona asks. "You haven't gotten tired of it?"
Zeno smiles widely at her. "You don't need to worry about Zeno, little miss! Zeno and Kaya make enough money to be happy, and that's all that matters. Miss is smart, so I'm sure you can understand."
Zeno's radiance makes her heart skip a beat. He makes it look so easy to have faith in people, but she doesn't think it's childish or naïve at all. She doesn't think she's ever met anyone as simultaneously wise and carefree as him. He makes it look effortless, but she senses something else bubbling beneath the surface—a surefire certainty, a cleverness about the world, an unshakable foundation of faith. If he'd been born with it, it must be a remnant of his past life.
She watches him and smiles as he bids them all goodbye, then jogs happily over to the young woman waiting by her car—she's petite and pretty, with short dark hair and a kind smile that becomes a full-blown grin when Zeno wraps her in a hug.
"Bye, everyone!" She waves to them with both hands, and Zeno copies her.
It's silent for a few moments after the two drive away. "That was…unexpected," Kija finally says. "To think he's been married this whole time."
"I'm surprised she decided to marry him, knowing he works at a gas station," Hak mutters, evidently amused by the situation.
"Yes, that love is blind to all flaws is a beautiful thing," Jae-ha sighs longingly. "Whether it's age, gender, or money, love conquers all, doesn't it?"
December 1979
With the advent of Christmastime comes the onset of depression. Thanksgiving had been hard enough, though she would be forever grateful to Lili's father for inviting her to their celebration. She'd actually begun to feel better while eating with them; talking and laughing with her friend had enabled Yona to briefly forget her current woes, but as soon as the month's last calendar sheet falls away to signal the arrival of December, they come slamming back into her like a freight train.
When another familiar face walks into the store, Yona's stomach plummets past her feet. When their eyes meet she releases an involuntary gasp, and out of the corner of her eye sees Hak's head swivel towards them. She silently begs him not to look, but it's a bit much to ask when she probably looks like she's seen a ghost.
Soo-won looks just as surprised as her. "Yona," he says her name quietly, like he's afraid of scaring her. It makes her feel ill.
"What can I do for you today?" It's not what she's supposed to say. She's supposed to say 'Hello, how are you?' or something along those lines, but as the thought of doing so makes her want to retch, she opts for the line that'll get him out of here the fastest.
He clearly understands her intent, and plays along with the same level of grace she's always admired. He's kind like that. She acknowledges such kindness even when the sight of him makes her think of all the bad things in her world. She can't help it.
Apparently he can't either, as he whispers to her when she counts out his change, "How are you doing, Yona? I haven't seen you in a while. If you need anything—"
"Have a nice day," she sends him her best beaming grin, and gently folds his hand over the change in his palm. "I'm fine," she whispers, avoiding eye contact.
"…Please, take care of yourself."
And that's that.
She gets off of work a few minutes later, and when she turns around after clocking out Hak's standing behind her.
She jumps. "Hak, what are you doing? You scared…"
He's looking at her in a way that makes her want to avoid his gaze. Like he sees right through her, and she hates it. "Are you alright?"
He's asked her this before, but this time she feels infinitely more exposed. She decides to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"That was Soo-won."
"…So?"
He furrows his brows at her; he's clearly not in the mood for her to be evasive. "So? He's your cousin, and you practically worshipped him when we were kids. What, you're saying you don't remember how the three of us used to hang out?"
"That's not it, I just…"
"If there's something wrong, you can—"
"I told you things have changed!"
For the first time since she's known him, Hak flinches. But he covers up his shock an instant later, and watches her as she struggles to regain control of her ragged breathing and teary eyes. "I'm sorry," he says, and she knows he's sincere. "Are you going home now?"
She nods.
"…I'll give you a ride. Come on."
"You probably already know this, but Father died a few months ago."
Hak keeps his face angled straight ahead, but she can see him glance over at her for a brief second. "…Gramps told me, but I didn't want to believe it was true."
Yona sighs, fiddles with her hands. "…Someone trying to rob him stabbed him, probably. But…we still don't know if it was accidental or not. That he died, I mean."
Hak doesn't say anything.
"…You know how Father's other business partners are. After Mundok left, none of the remaining ones believed I was a suitable candidate to take Father's place. So…they chose the next best heir, and I was left out."
"…Soo-won."
She nods. "Yes. He took Father's place, and I was left with an inheritance."
"He didn't name you in his will?"
"He may have, but you know how they are. Even if he did, they would try to cover it up."
"Because you're a woman?"
She shrugs. "They wanted Soo-won. My uncle…they all wanted him to be a partner when Grandfather died as well. I suppose they've finally got what they wanted, in a sense."
"So why are you living out here, then? Why are you working? You should be able to live without working until you finish school with what he left you."
Ah, the one question she doesn't fully understand herself. How mean of him. "That's true, but…since Father died, I've realized how little I actually know about the world apart from what he let me see. I've only recently come to understand just how ridiculously wealthy we were. Even though I've been in the public eye since I was little, I still didn't understand. I want…to make my own place, carve out my own way, now that I'm free to." She laughs, but it's a hollow sound. "It sounds silly, doesn't it, coming from me? But it's not like I have a choice now—besides, couldn't I ask you the same thing?"
Hak grins. "Well, Gramps's still got a lot left in his retirement fund, but like hell I'm gonna take that from him. He's more family to me than anyone related by blood." He looks at her, really looks at her this time, and says, "So are you."
On a freezing winter day, Yun pokes his head out of the back room. "Yona, there's a phone call for you."
"A phone call? From who?"
Yun shrugs. "She says she's your roommate, and that there's an emergency at your apartment or something."
"Lili!" Panicked, she glances at Shin-ah, who's currently standing in the middle of the floor with a mop in hand. "Sorry, but can you—"
He's at the register in three seconds flat, and nods at her. Smiling gratefully, she makes a beeline towards the back room; Hak has to move swiftly to get out of her way as she dashes past him.
"Lili, what happened?" she wheezes into the phone. "Are you okay?"
"Yona, it's—it's the—I don't know what it is! There's water everywhere!"
"Water?"
"The dishes," the other girl forces out, clearly in a panic, "I was trying to do the dishes, and the sink started overflowing, and I can't fix it!"
Yona sighs in relief. She'd been ready to call an ambulance. "Is that all? Thank God…"
"Yona, this is serious! The carpet's going to get ruined."
"Don't worry, Lili," she tries to reassure her. "I know someone who can help."
Hak stares at her with suspicion written all over his face as she sidles up to him wearing her best winning smile. "Say, Hak—"
"You don't have to try and act cute with me, Princess."
She blushes, but straightens her back immediately. "Something's wrong with our sink. Lili says it's overflowing and leaking everywhere. Could you come take a look at it later?"
He glances to the side, then back at her. "I could come take a look at it now, if you want."
"Now? But I'm still working. Besides, it's such short notice, it must be a pain for you to drop everything and come help me."
"You could get off early," Yun offers. "I think this qualifies as enough of an emergency. From the sound of it I'm not sure your roommate can handle this herself."
"You may be right." She silently apologizes to Lili, and turns back to Hak. "If it's okay with Yun, we can go right now."
"I'll go bring the car around." He returns not two minutes later with a peculiar frown. "Bad news."
"What happened?" Yun asks.
Hak leans back against the counter. "It's so cold out there that the snow around my tires froze."
"It's snowing?" Yona asks, momentarily forgetting to subdue her excitement. "I love snow!"
"Yeah, well right now that snow you love so much is what's keeping you from going to help your roommate."
"Hmm…"
Hak's still deep in thought when Jae-ha and Zeno enter the shop. "Sorry, Yun," Jae-ha says, "but we can't keep the car wash open."
"Is it that bad outside?"
"It's snowing! And freezing!" Zeno exclaims, wrapping his arms around himself. "If we tried to wash the cars, the water would freeze over while we were doing it."
"That's not your fault. I guess you two can go home, then. Shin-ah and I will hold down the fort—we may end up just having to close the place early." He glances towards Yona. "So what are you going to do, then?"
"Did something happen?" Jae-ha inquires, looking at the young woman. "Is everything alright?"
"I got a call from my roommate about problems with the sink," she tells him. "Hak said he would drive me back home and try to fix it, but his car's stuck in the parking lot because of the snow."
"I see. That's a problem." The corners of his mouth lift into an eager smile. "But one that I can help you two with. I'd be more than willing to give you a ride, since I'm now a free man."
"You make it sound like work is a prison," Yun mutters.
"Anyway, I parked underneath a tree down the street, so my car should be fine."
Hak's glower deepens. Yona, on the other hand, is ecstatic at the offer. "Really, Jae-ha? That would be great! Thank you so much!"
"I'm just happy to help you and Hak." If he notices the other man's derisive snort, he doesn't give any indication of being bothered by it, but Yona stares daggers at Hak anyway. "Shall we get going now?"
"Sure! Let's go, Hak."
"I'm coming."
On their way out, they're both shocked and humbled by Kija's ragged appearance as he stands shivering behind the doors. His skin somehow manages to look even paler than it does normally, and is tinged with a shade of blue that doesn't sit well with her. She thinks she can even see tiny shards of ice that have crystallized on the tips of his hair and eyelashes. "Kija!" she yells, horrified as she touches his wrists. "You're colder than ice!"
"I-I'm f-f-fine, P-Princess," he stutters. "N-No n-need to w-w-worry about m-me."
"You're obviously lying!"
"Y-Yun," he begins, his chattering teeth inhibiting his speech, "I-I know you've s-s-said I-I should s-stop asking y-you what to do s-so often, but c-can I c-c-come inside? I c-can no longer feel my hands o-or f-feet."
"For God's sake, Kija!"
Apparently Jae-ha has an ear for love songs. Honestly, she shouldn't have expected anything different, but she still bites her tongue when the lyrics to Barry Manilow's version of "Can't Smile Without You" start blasting from the speakers of Jae-ha's Gremlin.
"Seriously?" Hak snorts into her ear—she's sitting cramped between the two front seats, having voiced her opposition to sitting anywhere near the car's rear end.
"What? Don't tell me you don't like this song, Hak. It's a classic."
"It's barely two years old."
"Well, it will be. Mark my words."
"Jae-ha," she says, "I was wondering—" She gasps as the car rolls over a particularly large bump in the road, and clutches the others' seats for dear life. "Do you live around here? We aren't making you go out of your way, are we?"
"Not at all," he says simply, turning down the volume. "I live nearby. I would have gotten off of work later anyway, were it not for the weather." He chuckles a bit and glances out the window. "Well, my landlady will probably scold me regardless when I get back home for being a bit late on rent. The later the better."
"Sounds like you're on good terms with her, at least," Hak says sarcastically.
"Very good, actually. Gi-gan's like a long-lost mother to me—though, if I were fifty years older—"
"No thanks, I don't need that mental image."
"It was only hypothetical, Hak—you don't need to get so worked up about it." While Jae-ha grins, Hak scowls. "Besides, age doesn't matter."
Hak grimaces. "I don't know your landlady, but I can already sincerely sympathize with her."
"Now, don't be so sour! Wouldn't you prefer it if I had designs on someone you had no interest in?"
Yona's no savant when it comes to the art of mental warfare, but she swears the level of testosterone in the car has just gone up several notches. She glances between Jae-ha and Hak, nervous without being able to say why. "Can you two please stop provoking each other? This car's small enough as it is without you two filling it with your bickering." She can't help being annoyed, especially with what Jae-ha had told her rattling around in her brain.
"He started it," Hak mutters.
"I can't exactly argue with that," Jae-ha laughs. "Fine, then. No more talking the rest of the drive, all right?"
Yona smiles at him via the rearview mirror. "There's no need to go that far."
"It's fine, really. The three of us can enjoy the rest of the drive in companionable silence."
Not a few seconds later, the song "Torn Between Two Lovers" begins to play, and Hak stares through the windshield the rest of the way with a glare fit to melt the glass.
They arrive at Yona's apartment to find Lili in a similar state to the one she'd been in when she called, and to a carpet soaked to the floorboards with acrid water.
"This is gonna be annoying," Hak sighs heavily as he walks over to the sink, booted feet protecting him from the puddle of grimy water that's accumulated on the kitchen floor. "I'll have to look under the sink." He places his toolbox down and gets to work while Yona offers Jae-ha a seat on their sofa—he's Hak's ride back, after all, though she has a sneaking suspicion the latter would sooner trek back to his car in the wind and snow than request it himself. He might well blow a gasket if he has to listen to more of Jae-ha's music on the way back.
"Do you want some water?" she asks the older man. "Or a soda?"
"I'm perfectly fine. Thank you, Yona dear."
"What about you, Hak?" she calls over her shoulder.
"…Nothing, thanks."
She frowns, but lets it go at that. While Hak works, she, Lili, and Jae-ha spend the time alternating between mopping up what little water they can and listening to Lili sob her apologies ad infinitum.
"Hey, Yona…"
She pauses working on next semester's schedule and looks up to see Lili standing in her doorway. "What's up, Lili?"
"So, I was wondering…did you want to go out for New Years' Eve? It's coming up in a few days, so I thought you might want to do something fun."
"You mean…like go to a party?"
Her friend nods. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've been working too much lately. And it's not that I don't understand why, but it might be good for you to get out a bit, you know? Have some fun. I know Christmas wasn't the best day for you, but New Years' is a time for friends. Besides, it's the turn of the decade!"
Her throat constricts. Lili's trying so hard to be cheerful for her sake, but she can tell it's awkward for the other girl. She sets down her pencil and leans back in her chair. "Lili, I…"
"It doesn't have to be anything huge. We can just go to one of the calmer fraternities or something, you know? Or a house party."
Yona bites her lip, contemplating. "Well, going to a house party might be fun, if it's one of our classmates." She thinks fraternities are too loud and too full of boys trying to impress their friends and female classmates. It's not a place she feels comfortable in.
"Great! I heard Tae-jun's having a party at his father's place while he's out of town, so—"
"Tae-jun?" she repeats, her body suddenly cold. "Is that what you said?"
"Yeah. Kan Tae-jun. We're actually in the same year as his older brother, Kyo-ga, but Tae-jun's the one going around bragging about the party—he's more into the whole social circle aspect of college. He likes to have friends in high places, if you know what I mean."
She does know. Oh, boy, does she know well. But the last thing she wants to do is disappoint her friend, so she doesn't say anything about it. She has a better idea. "That sounds great, Lili. Do you think he'll mind if I invite a few people?"
"Remind me why I'm doing this again," Hak mutters as he slows his car to a crawl, scanning the street up and down in search of a parking spot.
"Because our lovely Yona asked us to come," Jae-ha answers as he checks his hair in the rearview mirror, "and you're particularly weak-willed when it comes to denying her what she asks for?"
"Right. If I weren't driving right now, Droopy Eyes, your ass would be on the side of the road." He glares out the window, feeling murderous. "The people here park like crap."
"Now aren't you glad that we decided to carpool? Finding more than one spot would have been impossible."
"Yeah, that's great and all," Hak says, his eyebrow twitching, "but why did we have to take my car?" In the backseat, Shin-ah and Kija shift uncomfortably. Hak softens a bit. He may act abrasive towards Kija and Jae-ha (especially Jae-ha, lately) but Shin-ah's a reliable guy. He hasn't done anything to earn his scorn (yet). He takes a deep breath. "Well, at least it's better than letting one of you drive. And by being here I can keep her from doing something stupid." He doesn't add the part about tearing any guy who messes with her limb from limb, but figures it's implicit in his tone.
Kija glances out the window. "You are right about one thing, Hak. The people here don't look very well-mannered." He squints, his lips pinching together in distaste. "There's a man retching into the bushes outside."
"Well, I'll be damned. It isn't even nine yet."
After a few more fruitless seconds of looking for a place to park, Shin-ah finally speaks up, "…There's a spot, up ahead."
"Really?" Jae-ha cranes his neck upwards. "How far away is it, Shin-ah?"
"A few…feet. About…five cars, next to the big tree."
For once, Hak's glad his instinct had been correct. He slams the pedal to snatch up the spot before anyone else does, earning him a surprised yell from Kija and a few middle fingers from other drivers. He couldn't care less.
On their way inside, both Shin-ah and Kija stick close to him and Jae-ha. He gets the feeling that White Snake's never been much of a partygoer. He's more of a goody two-shoes type, so why in the hell he thinks it's a good idea to go to a New Years' rager is a decision he can't begin to comprehend—well, that's not entirely true. He's not a total idiot. He strongly suspects that the deciding factor in this case has distinctively red hair and a penchant for making him lose his mind. Shin-ah, on the other hand…well, it goes without saying that the guy's probably never been invited to anything in his life. He seems more curious than anything, and the fact that Yona had invited him probably triggers some sense of loyalty. At least that's his best guess.
Droopy Eyes…well that goes without saying too, doesn't it?
They pass a few people loitering on the lawn, most of them holding red Solo cups. The smell of alcohol wafts to them as they approach the front door. When Kija knocks it swings open on its own. "I guess security's not too tight around here," Hak says under his breath.
The second the door closes behind them he spots her. She's standing in the kitchen with her friend, all smiles and bright eyes and crimson hair and washed-out skin from the overhead lights.
She's beautiful. Like always, and he'd wonder when he became such a sap, but he knows that the answer is the same—like always.
He's screwed.
Then she's looking at him, and she waves and if possible her smile grows even wider. "Hak! You guys, come over here!" He does what he's told blindly, following the others, and he can't help but stifle a grimace at the fact that he's glad she'd said his name and not the others'. Is he really that far gone?
"I'm glad you guys came," she says. "Where are Yun and Zeno?"
"Zeno's spending the night with his wife," Jae-ha tells her (it still surprises him to hear it), "and Yun said he's going to stay in with his guardian. He said something along the lines of how if he went out on New Years' Eve certain disaster would befall him."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad they're having fun!"
Her roommate steps in, brandishing a cup. "So how about it? Yona's a bit of a square, but do you guys want anything to drink? Who's driving?"
He's about to volunteer himself, but Jae-ha beats him to it. "Hak drove here, but I said I'd drive us back."
He stares daggers at him. "What're you doing, Droopy Eyes?"
"I've been to my fair share of parties when I was younger, so I'll let you young people have your fun." He winks at him, and Hak's skin crawls.
"You aren't that much older than us, Jae-ha," Yona pouts. Damn him for thinking that's cute. If she's cute, he loses. (He knows deep down that he's already losing, and has been for some time.)
"Yeah, and why are you complaining?" Lili asks Hak. "He's giving you a free pass. Happy new year!" Before he can voice a complaint she's shoving a cup into his hands, and when he takes a whiff of it he realizes it's some kind of mixed drink. He watches her do the same to Kija and Shin-ah; the former eyes it warily, looking at it from all angles, while the latter takes a tentative sip. "I promise it's not poison," she tells Kija as he continues to inspect the cup.
Hak sighs and finally relents, taking a small sip. It's almost sickeningly sweet, and the aftertaste doesn't leave his throat burning like he'd expected. This is definitely a girly drink—one too many of these without pacing himself and he'll be left plastered and passed out on someone's lawn. Probably the one he'd just walked past. The poor bastard Kija had seen retching is no doubt just one of many eventual victims.
"How is it?"
It takes him far too long to realize she's talking to him, and for an embarrassingly long moment he just stares at her before shaking himself back to reality. "It's fine. A little sweet, though." Dammit. He'd been staring at her eyes.
She laughs and looks at the others. "What about you guys?"
Kija chokes on his drink. "I-It's delicious. Thank you for asking…"
"Sweet," Shin-ah says quietly before taking another sip.
"Ah, be careful, Shin-ah, Lili said it's stronger than it tastes…"
Watching her fuss over her socially inept coworkers isn't doing good things for his mood. Hell, it's not doing good things for his sanity. He wants to punch Jae-ha right in his smug grin. "So what's there to do around here?" he asks, glancing around the (overly cramped) kitchen and connected living room as if he's bored when in reality he's doing his damned best to avoid staring at her.
"Drinking, for one thing," Lili says. "But we can also find an empty room if you just want to hang out away from everyone else."
"That sounds nice," Jae-ha agrees. "What do you think, Yona?"
"If that's what you guys want to do, then sure."
Lili leads them upstairs, and Hak silently marvels at the sheer size of the house they're in. Looking over the railings at the living room really puts into perspective how large it truly is; and he can see that it's connected to several smaller rooms that are set farther back into the house. They enter what looks like a small lounge, complete with a couch and several beanbag chairs, as well as a table with a cassette player.
"We can play music!" Yona says happily as she takes a seat on the sofa. He smiles when she looks back at him, won over by her sparkling eyes and upturned mouth. "Does anyone have a tape?"
"I do," Jae-ha says as he sits next to her. "I always come prepared." Shin-ah, Kija, and Lili all sit down, and he stands awkwardly in the middle of the room for a moment before joining them.
Hak groans internally when "Earth Angel" begins to play. He wonders if Droopy Eyes has a death wish. But when he glances to the side he sees how happy she looks, how she hums along to the song (he wonders how many times her father had played it to her, and quickly tries to push that thought away) and all he can think about is the fact that he never wants her to be as miserable as she'd been when Soo-won showed up ever again.
He's hopeless, isn't he? He's always been hopeless, ever since they were kids. He'd tried, no one but him knows how hard he'd tried—but it hadn't mattered, because the fact remains that no matter how much time had passed or how long he went without seeing her, a day never went by when she hadn't crossed his mind at least once.
He's just as in love with her now as he was back then. And as he watches her talk and laugh with her coworkers, with Droopy Eyes, with White Snake—the former staring at her with a telling smile, the latter with puppy-dog eyes—the possibility of his feelings not being reciprocated becomes a tougher than usual pill to swallow.
"I'll be right back," he says stiffly. "Where's the bathroom?" he asks Lili.
"Down the hallway and to your left. There's also two downstairs on either side. There're a lot of doors in this place, so be careful."
He only takes one step forward before a hand on the back of his shirt stops him. "Hak, are you feeling all right?" Her voice is right behind him, laden with concern, and he almost, almost, turns back. Instead he just looks at her over his shoulder with a rigid smile.
"Don't worry about me, Princess."
He's gone for around thirty minutes, by his count. He's only had two of those drinks and he's already feeling tipsy. He hadn't seen her when he wandered back into the kitchen for a refill, though. Part of him thinks the only reason he'd bothered to drink more is to have some excuse to go back and look for her.
He feels like an idiot. Hadn't he promised himself that he'd stay by her side tonight? He isn't worried about any concrete danger, since he'd left the others with her, but it still bothers him. The worst part is that he knows what he's doing is unfair. He at least owes her a justification for his shittiness, but he's not too keen about branding the words 'JEALOUS PRICK' on his forehead in what may as well be black sharpie. But it's more than that.
Whenever he sees her, he can't help but think about what that damn Droopy Eyes had said.
"Hak!"
He's a little disappointed when he turns around and sees Lili, but tries not to let it show. "Hey," he says. "What's up?"
"Have you seen Yona?"
He sobers up instantly. "I was just looking for her." To hell with dignity, he decides. "Why? Is she okay? Did you guys fight or something?"
She shakes her head. "No, I'm just worried. Not long after you left she said she wanted to go clear her head. I thought she was just going to go to the bathroom, but I haven't seen her since."
He bites down on his lip. In other words, he'd been wrong, and she's been alone practically since he decided to ditch them. Some friend he is, much less a royal bodyguard. "Shit."
"Tell me about it." Lili leans in closer, "Between you and me, I think there's something bothering her. After you left, Tae-jun showed up."
Hak stiffens.
"What, do you know him?" Crap, now she's suspicious.
He sighs. No point in hiding it now. "Unfortunately. That sounds like the name of the guy who kept coming to the gas station to hit on her."
Lili bursts out laughing, but covers her mouth just as quickly. "Are you serious? Oh my God, that's ridiculous. She didn't tell me anything about that. Poor Yona!"
He has no time to feel sorry for himself right now. "Let's split up and look for her," he suggests, "and the others, while we're at it." He can ream them a new one later, particularly Droopy Eyes, but right now finding her takes precedence.
He starts with the first floor, weaving between and around groups of college-aged people in various stages of physical and cognitive decline. Most are talking, laughing, some are even getting handsy, but nearly all of them are holding a drink of some kind. As he's forcing his way up stairs and past a group of gaggling girls, all he can think about is that this isn't her. She doesn't belong in a place like this—and to a lesser extent, neither does he.
But maybe he's wrong in thinking that. He'd barely recognized her the first time he saw her again, so maybe he's just projecting, remembering her as the girl who'd bossed him around and had him wrapped around her little finger before he was twelve—looking at her through rose-colored lenses, irrespective of the woman she's become. She's been through more in the last year than she had her entire life before then. Of course she's changed. And it's not that he doesn't like the person she is now. On the contrary, he wants to know more. But he still has a hard time believing that she enjoys being at a party where everyone's wasted any more than the girl from his childhood would.
He tries out several doors on the second floor, but the hallways seem to go on forever. It only takes him a few times entering without knocking before he walks in on two extremely naked people making suspicious thrusting motions in someone else's bed, and Hak comes to the conclusion that knocking is probably a good idea. He's going to have to bleach his eyes after this. Wherever she is, he hopes she hadn't seen what he just did, and distantly muses if she would even know what they're doing. She's always been sheltered, but maybe…?
Nope. Stop torturing yourself. Don't even let your mind go there.
It seems he's finally arrived at the quietest corner of the house; the music from the stereo system downstairs has faded to a pulsing background noise. This also allows him to hear something coming from behind one of the doors at the end of the hall—another song, not an upbeat tune, but a slow one that sounds like something that might be playing on a station Droopy Eyes would like. He knocks, and when no one answers decides to go in.
He's struck silent when he sees her standing in the middle of the room. She's facing away from him, swaying gently to the music, the multicolored lights hung up all over the room catching in stray strands of red hair. A record spins on a table in the corner of the room, fading to dull scratching noises as the song tapers off. He stares, and she doesn't notice him, and he'd be content to keep it that way, but then he sees the cup dangling between her fingers and concern takes over.
"What are you doing?" he asks, chiding himself for the anger in his voice as he walks over and takes her wrist.
She jumps, spins around, and with one look at her eyes he can tell she's drunk. Maybe not as plastered as some of the girls downstairs, but drunk nonetheless. "Hak?" she drawls, rubbing her eyes. "What're you doing here?"
"I was looking for you." He raises her hand and sniffs the cup. His nose wrinkles. Just like he'd feared, it's that sweet stuff from earlier. "Why are you drinking? I thought you didn't like it."
"I'm not," she says, affronted. "I just went to get some juice."
He face-palms. "You—you know this isn't juice, right? It's loaded with some kind of liquor, but you just can't taste it. You said it yourself earlier."
She giggles. "Oops."
He takes the cup away from her and sets it down on the table next to the record player. "Seriously, I can't leave you alone for a second." He hears her feet shuffling behind him. He clenches his fists. It's barely ten o'clock, but they should probably leave. "We should—"
"This is it!"
She's swaying to the new song when he turns around. It sounds familiar, but he can't place it. Something from his childhood, maybe. "What's it?"
"This song! Father used to play it to me all the time." He stiffens, but she doesn't look depressed when she says it—there's a melancholy sheen to her eyes, but she's still smiling, and he thinks she's feeling more nostalgic than sad. Then she looks at him with stunning clarity, and holds out her hand. "Hak, dance with me."
"…What."
"Dance with me, please."
He doesn't think he's capable of saying no to her, but he still tries. "You're drunk. We should be leaving, not dancing in some stranger's house."
"Don't patronize me, Hak."
That's it. He's done for. "I'm not, I just…" He looks at her again, sees that she's still holding out her hand, and there's a voice in the back of his head that's calling him stupid for not taking it. "…Fine." So he gives in and takes her hand, and it's as warm as he remembers from when they were kids, but now the circumstances have changed and he can feel his rational judgment swiftly fleeing the building. Between their clasped hands, laced fingers, and the hand he places high on her waist (he's not Droopy Eyes, after all) he's having a hard time tearing his eyes away from her. And the music damn sure doesn't help. He finally realizes what song it is: "Unchained Melody."
He's got it bad.
"Why did you come here?" he manages to ask. "To this room. Lili said you just left."
He tries not to laugh at her melodramatic groan. "That guy, Tae-jun, showed up. He sure is persistent. It's annoying. He wouldn't stop trying to talk to me, so…"
He grins broadly. At least they're in agreement. "So you ran away?" That sounds just like her. "I'm surprised it worked."
"Well, Jae-ha and the other guys distracted him."
He arches his brow. Maybe he wouldn't have to beat them to death after all. They'd certainly been more useful than he had, at any rate. "I guess Lili didn't get the message. Those guys…they can be surprisingly subtle when they want to."
Her eyes shine as she glances downward. "They're great. All of them are…" It stings, even though he knows it shouldn't. He has no right to ask anything of her, much less that she put him before her friends. Because that's what they've become to her—friends, people she can turn to for help, for guidance, for keeping her company at a shitty New Years' party.
He's conceited to think she'd always put him first.
"But Hak, you're…" Then she looks up at him again, and his throat closes. The music swells, and he feels his heart beat just a little bit faster, a little bit stronger. He wants to make a mistake.
"Yona," he says, and the name feels odd coming from him, and judging by the look on her face it sounds just as odd to her. He brings her closer before he does something he regrets, pulling her into his chest and keeping her there, enclosed by his arms and swaying with her until the music stops. Even after it's over, he doesn't let go.
Only when she suddenly feels heavy against him does he pause and look down at her—she's leaning into his chest, eyes closed and mouth open, happy as she can be to be sleeping against him. His eye twitches.
"Did you really fall asleep standing up?" he asks no one. "Good grief…" He sighs as he hefts her into his arms, but can't help the smile that tugs at his lips. "Well, at least it makes it easier to get you out of here."
He carries her downstairs and quickly finds the others standing where they'd been when they first arrived. It seems Lili's only just gathered everyone, judging by her flustered expression as she and Jae-ha attempt to corral Kija and Shin-ah in one place. White Snake is visibly swaying as Hak walks up to them, and falls all over himself once he sees the unconscious girl in his arms.
"Is she alright?" he asks, rattled. "Did something happen?"
"She's just drunk," he says matter-of-factly, "and tired. Apparently she thought she was drinking juice."
Droopy Eyes laughs. "That sounds like her. Well, no harm, no foul."
"What are you talking about? There are two other casualties right there." He nods toward Kija and Shin-ah, who upon further inspection can be seen to be slowly rocking side to side. Well, at least he's got more of a tolerance than White Snake. It's almost embarrassing that it had taken barely an hour for half the people in their group to fall apart.
"We should probably get these three somewhere safe," Lili says. "Let's go back to our place."
When Yona comes back to her senses, she's laying on her bed. She rolls over, squinting from the light, and sits up straight when she sees what had woken her: Hak's standing over her, placing a glass of water on her bedside table.
He looks surprised, but quickly hides it with a smirk. "Morning, Princess. It's eleven fifty-five. You almost missed the new year."
She sits up and dangles her feet off the bed, rubbing her eyes. "Sorry I'm such a handful," she apologizes. "Where are the others?"
"Lili went to bed. Droopy Eyes is taking care of the others—she said they could spend the night in the living room, if that's okay."
"Of course." This is embarrassing. Had she really gotten drunk? She feels fine now, but having passed out while out in public (with Hak watching, no less) wounds her pride a bit.
And then her heart leaps into her throat when she recalls what had happened right before. Oh, God—had she really made him dance with her? To that song, no less? Her cheeks burn, and she lets out an unladylike squeak as she buries herself underneath the covers.
"What's wrong?"
"H-Hak—I'm so sorry!" she yells, her voice muffled by her pillow. "Making you take care of me…how I acted…I'm terrible!" She knows she's being dramatic. "I understand if you're mad at me." Yona assumes the worst when he doesn't respond, but when she feels the weight of him sitting down on her bed she nervously pokes her head above the covers. "…Hak?"
"Do you regret it?"
"Huh? Regret…what?"
His eyes are hooded when he glances over at her. "What you did."
If he's talking about the dancing, then yes—but mostly in the sense that she hadn't put her best foot forward on that one. Alcohol tends to do that. She'd also been acting dumb. But even more than that…she wonders if he knows what she'd been about to say.
But Hak, you're…special.
And it's true. He is special to her, and if he hadn't interrupted her, she knows she would have let it slip. But he'd said her name, and when she heard it she all but went mute. It's confusing. She hadn't known how to react. She still doesn't.
"No," she finally says, "I don't. Do you?"
He looks away, and she's both perplexed and captivated by the way his cheeks color. "You…you're so…"
"…Hak, what did Jae-ha tell you?"
"…"
"…Please, tell me. I want to know, so that I can…" Be closer to you. "I want to know what's bothering you."
He rakes a hand through his hair, hiding his face. "You really are a handful." He takes a deep breath. "…He asked me if the two of us were lovers. There—I said it. Are you happy?"
She really should be acting more surprised than she is. That's not to say she isn't (her face is flaming) but the old Yona would have already cycled through ten different exclamations before releasing the breath she's been holding. "…Oh."
"Yeah."
She's going to panic if the gears in her head don't start moving soon, but she's having a hard time stringing together sentences. Has she always been this dense? "That's, um…"
"You can say it. The bastard wouldn't stop teasing me about it after I told him off, so I've got pretty thick skin at this point."
Now she's confused. "Say what?"
"You should know."
"No, I don't. What do you think I should say?"
Hak looks at her. "That it's ridiculous. I told him as much myself, but he won't shut up about it." He seems like he's in physical pain as he forces the words out. "So go ahead."
She bites her lip. "What if…it wasn't…?"
She holds her ground and steels her nerves when he looks at her like she's just casually suggested the two of them go dance the tango in Times Square. She can't blame him. She's been oblivious for so long that she's willing to cut him a bit of slack. What she isn't willing to do is accept the way he shakes his head or the dry laugh that wheezes from his throat, as if she's just told him something funny.
"Sorry," he says. "I must have heard you wrong."
"You didn't."
Now that they've gotten past the first denial phase, she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it does, as if it were a steel toe boot. "You…do you realize what you're saying?"
"That's not fair, Hak. I may be sheltered, but you should know me better than that."
He hides his face in his palm. "I know you're not lying. That's not what I—I just…" He's not looking at her, and that worries her more than anything. "I was finally ready to give up."
"Give up? What do you mean…?"
When he looks at her, his expression is enough to make her heart ache. She doesn't let herself think about the consequences of her actions in that moment; instead she just does—she grabs him by the collar, pulls him closer, and before she has time to fall prey to doubt she kisses him.
Yona kisses Hak.
And as the two of them pull away, the dumbstruck silence between them fills with the sound of the decade's final countdown.
January 1980
He's afraid to go inside.
Maybe 'afraid' isn't the right word. He's definitely apprehensive. Hak isn't sure what he'll do if he sees her, if his mind or body will betray him. What fresh hell is waiting to crush his sanity underfoot when he goes in? He briefly entertains the thought that the culprit is himself—he keeps second-guessing all his actions even though he's got a damn job to do, and he's not a teenager anymore. He literally can't afford to be acting like a lovelorn idiot.
Well, the ship to redeem himself has already sailed. It left the dock the moment Yona kissed him, and instead of staying to talk it out with her he'd gotten up and left in the middle of the countdown. He'd slept on the floor that night and gone home in the morning before she woke up. He could have come clean right then and there instead of being vague, but he'd ruined the opportunity like a fucking loser. And he knows the reason why; he doesn't want to force her hand. He's always known her to be innocent and impressionable. He worries that knowing he has feelings for her (and had for years) would manipulate her into returning them—or, God forbid, make her think she owes him something. If him hiding those feelings will put less pressure on her, so be it, he'll accept it—even if she ends up with Droopy Eyes, for God's sake.
But for now he's going to try to avoid angering her and hope that just maybe she won't do something to make him regret ever being born. Not that he hasn't done that to himself already.
"What are you doing, mister? You here to fix the machine again?"
Zeno's standing next to him, and Hak thanks his lucky stars that he's at least someone he has no drama with. "Yeah. Damn thing's still not working." He looks back at the food mart. He can see her through the glass, standing at the register.
Zeno follows his line of sight. "Y'know, you should just tell the miss how you feel. Zeno's sure it can't be any worse than how you feel now!"
Great. Now he's getting a pep talk. "You're probably right." He looks away. "But I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"It's…complicated." How cliché. And unhelpful. "It's not the whole story, but…I don't want to make her choose. I've known her my whole life. If I said something to her, I know she'd feel guilty about it." He smiles. "She's weird like that."
Zeno laughs and pats him repeatedly on the back. "Yep, you may be right—but Zeno can tell you that if you don't say anything, she'll feel worse. Life's too short, mister. You should be honest with the people you love."
He remembers then that Zeno's older than him, and married. Maybe he knows a thing or two about romance—more than he does, anyway. "Is that what you told yourself when you met your wife?"
"Yep! You know, when Zeno proposed, Kaya said no at first. She didn't want to be a burden—her health's not too great, see." Zeno looks up, his eyes following a cloud as it rolls across the blue background. "But I told her I didn't care. Those kinds of things don't matter. I just knew I didn't want to be without her." He looks at Hak, and all he can think about is that the blond has no right to look as all-knowing or wizened as he does. "So, if you really love her, mister, you should tell her now, before it's too late."
Zeno sends him off with a final pat on the back, and then he's striding single-mindedly towards the store. He stops dead when he walks in and makes eye contact, the silence punctuated by the bells attached to the door and his own heartbeat.
"…Hey."
"Hey."
She shuffles her feet and wrings her hands, but he's still as a statue. "…How's your new year been so far?"
"Fine."
He's not good at pretending. Neither is she. But the customer rifling around in the cold drinks section is keeping their lips thoroughly sealed. "Good." He heads toward the coffee machine.
"Hak!"
He nearly gives himself whiplash with how fast his neck jerks around. "Yeah?"
"Can we talk? I have a break in a few minutes, so…"
He swallows the lump that's suddenly formed in his throat. "…Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want."
Droopy Eyes is leaving the back room as he walks up to it, and the knowing grin that blooms across his face leaves his fists itching to throw a punch.
"My, my," he croons, and Hak's eye twitches. "I was wondering when you'd finally cave in."
"Jerk."
"That's unfair. I've been doing my best to help you, you know. You two are exhausting."
"Yeah, well no one asked for your help."
The other man arches a brow. "I beg to differ. It was depressing, watching you pine over her for so long. It was almost enough to make me cry."
"Looked like you were laughing to me."
Jae-ha shrugs. "Well, it can't be helped. I'm a hopeless romantic."
He's about to ask how the hell that's even relevant, but decides better of it. Ah. Now he gets it. "What, are you trying to be a tragic hero?"
"Well, I am nearly perfect, but I wouldn't call helping a poor soul like you heroic. It's more of a charity case, really."
"You know…you're actually not so bad," he relents. "I really hate the way you do things, though."
"It is what it is." He strides past him, and as the two brush shoulders he whispers, "Just take care of her, will you?"
Hak smiles in spite of himself. "Who do you think you're talking to?"
She looks nervous when he walks in, and before he can say a word of greeting she blurts out, "You're special to me."
Damn him for feeling choked up by such a simple confession. Calm down, he tells himself—it's not like she's confessed her undying love for you. But it certainly feels that way; his throat's tight, his mouth gaping, his chest blooming with warmth. He's more whipped than White Snake, though at least he's better at hiding it. He gets the feeling she's not done talking, so he stays quiet.
She idly plays with her fingers. "That is…I've felt this way for a while. I'm sorry for kissing you out of nowhere. I understand if…you want to forget about it, but I think it's best to be honest, so…there it is." The back of his neck tingles when she looks up at him. "I like you, Hak."
He must be dreaming. How many years has he wanted to hear her say something like that to him? But it means more now, coming from the woman standing in front of him, than it ever would have when they'd been younger. What an idiot he's been. He silently thanks Zeno and then, to both of their shocks, he laughs.
"Do you…have any idea…how long I've wanted to hear you say that?"
"It's not funny, Hak!"
"I know it's not," he finishes, taking a deep breath. "Sorry." She's blushing when he looks at her again, and he's smiling wide as can be. "It's just a bit surreal. I always thought I'd be the one confessing to you, not the other way around. I'm laughing at myself."
Her eyes are wide as saucers. "So that means…you…?"
He sighs heavily. "I've liked you for years, you know. I would've thought you'd realize it, especially after that party. I thought about kissing you right then and there while we were dancing."
She's spluttering like a fish. "Well, then, you should have! Geez…"
Seeing her like this is very bad for his heart. "You were drunk, you know. I'd be a first-class jackass to take advantage of you like that." He gets the air knocked out of him when she rushes forward and wraps her arms tightly around his midsection.
"Hak…" She's quiet now, her face buried in his shirt. "…Has it really been years?"
"Don't feel too bad about it, Princess. I did do my best to hide it, you know."
She groans, and the vibrations of her voice rattle his heart and brain until he thinks he might melt into a puddle of sentimental goop. "Hak, you're such a jerk…"
"Tell me something I don't know."
February 1980
Their first time isn't exactly flawless.
Neither of them had expected it to be—he's much bigger than her, after all, tall and sturdy while she's short and slim. They'd both predicted it would be a bit awkward physically.
What Hak hadn't counted on is how nerve-wracked he'd be when push finally comes to shove, not because he thinks he'll disappoint her but because he's always thought of her as someone unreachable and unattainable. Not an angel on a pedestal, but a girl who'd simply always be just out of his reach. Her father is (was) head of a multimillion-dollar company, and his adopted grandfather had only been a partner. There's not much clout to speak of where he's concerned.
But she's not out of his reach. No, now she's in his grasp, wrapped in his arms, her small frame enclosed by his much larger one, and he's kissing her. He's close enough to see and hear and feel and touch and taste every part of her. He can stare and she won't tell him no. She reaches back and pulls him to her, lets him find out for himself how soft her skin is and how warm she is as she wraps her legs around him.
What Yona hadn't counted on is how liberated it makes her feel. She feels free, truly free, for the first time when he kisses her neck and pushes into her, because it's Hak and she'd chosen him, she'd fallen in love with him, and that simple fact makes all the difference in the world. There's discomfort, there's pain, but there's also pleasure to be found in such sensations when she's looking into the eyes of the one person who knows her both inside and out.
So it's not perfect—some of the kissing is sloppy, some of their motions fumbled and downright funny—but it's a mistake to expect otherwise.
And the moment after she's lying on her bed and thanking whoever can hear her that she'd decided to ask for a job application that day. Yona had heard stories about oddball coworkers in the past, but she'd thought that working at a gas station would be relatively low-risk. She's happy to say that she'd been wrong. She knows firsthand that when you've led a charmed life from the second you were born, your definition of rock bottom means something a bit different from most people.
Well, it hadn't taken her too long to get over that mindset. Her job's not prestigious. It is what it is. But the people there, the ones who treat her like an equal and a friend, and the one laying next to her who can't stop pushing her buttons—they make that run-down building on the side of the road feel like a castle.