Issei vs The Dead Presidents: Part 1

XXX

NOW

Ever since his confrontation at the church with Raynare, Issei's life had been sort of weird.

Now, as he ran through the halls of the White House fleeing for his life, he wondered how the hell he was going to explain this to Rias.

If he could find her.

Being sent back to the past tended to do that.

XXX

THEN

One of the summoning contracts Rias had given him had started to flash red with a sudden urgency, and then, with a bright blast of light, he was sent to a far away place.

Blinking as he re balanced himself, Issei found himself face to face with George Bush, former President of the United States.

Issei looked around in awe, realizing that he was in the middle of the Oval Office, he saw the calendar on the other side of the room.

The year was 2004.

As Issei tried to process this horrifying revelation, George started to jump up and down.

"Oh, it's horrible the White House is under attack! The secret Lockdown was activated, (At this point, Issei saw that there were bars over the windows), but I wasn't able to escape in time, and now they're coming for me!"

Issei blinked in surprise "Who's coming for you-nevermind, how did you even summon me?"

Bush waved his hand, "It was an old paper my Pa got for me, in case things went bad. He never told me where he got it. As for the bad guys-NOOOO!" Bush said as he jumped behind Issei and held onto him in fright. "What-" He was interrupted by the sound of thundering footsteps.

A large, pale, transparent fist forced itself through the wall behind them. A grinning face peered in.

"Heeerrrrrrrree's Tricky Dicky!"

The ghost of Richard Nixon had arrived

XXX

Issei realized that he was having a shittier day than usual.

First, he had been transported to the year 2004.

Next, he had to protect American President George Bush without screwing up the timeline.

Finally, he was in the Oval Office. On the other side of a wall, the pale ghost of Richard Nixon was ripping said wall open in an attempt to get into the room. Issei turned to Bush. Both had a panicked look in their eyes. "Why is he after you Mr. President?" the boy said. "I'd ask them myself, but I think they are too busy geisting after me to answer!" The President bushismed. Issei blinked. "Wait, them? As in more than two ghosts? Motherfucker, where are they-" He got his answer when he looked outside the window. His last vestiges of hope vanished at the chaos unfolding.

XXX

On the grounds below, chaos reigned.

The pale, transparent ghost of Abraham Lincoln was taking on the US military, and he was winning.

Flipping up into the air, ghost Lincoln landed in a massive group of fifty marines. They fired upon the specter. Lashing out with his biceps. Lincoln deflected hundreds of shots, striking buildings and knocking down 15 soldiers. He than rushed at the remaining men, kicking and punching like a goddamn ninja. Grabbing onto one soldiers leg, he swung the man around like a flail, using him to smash his comrades away.

He kept doing this until his living, screaming mace was salsa. After he discarded the mass of blood and bone chunks, he grabbed a charging shotgunner and threw him over his head. The unfortunate man landed on a hot dog stand behind the house.

The last surviving marine swung a machete at him, only for Lincoln to grab it. He bit down onto the blade, snapping it in half. As the terrified man backed away, Lincoln lashed out with a roundhouse kick, sending the solider flying fifty feet back. Luckily, he fell into a mattress store, breaking his fall. The same could not be said for the other marines, who had been sent to an early grave.

"I didn't know Lincoln was a kung fu warrior! Maybe I would have actually paid attention to American History more!" Issei said, awestruck.

"He's fast as lightning!" Bush said, looking on in shock as Lincoln ran at a new group of marines. Lincoln went into a flying kick. Like a human cannonball, the undead President scattered entire squads like they were bowling pins. "Fall back!'' The cap wearing commanders shouted as the surviving soldiers dragged their wounded comrades away. As they retreated, Lincoln's ghost tipped his hat towards them before putting it back on. Turning around, he glared up at the windows of The White House, right at Bush and Issei. He began to walk forwards, only for the pairs attention to be diverted by an explosion across the yard.

Issei gaped as he beheld the form of Theodore Roosevelt.

Spectral and pale like the other dead Presidents, dressed like a general and wearing a cowboy hat, Teddy wielded a pair of Colt .44 Revolvers, which he used with no hesitation.

"GET OUT OF YOUR METAL BOXES AND FIGHT ME YOU COWARDS!'' Roosevelt screamed as he unloaded onto a tank brigade. His bullets tore through the armor, stripping the tanks armor away like a Sitri and blasting the turrets off. Some tanks exploded out right. Despite the damage being dealt, more tank's bravely rolled up to face the ghostly gunslinger. Missiles and bullets fired into the dead man, but they did no good. Some passed through him, other bullets simply deflected off his muscly frame. "RAGGHHHHHFFUCK" TR yelled as he ran up to a tank. Rearing back, he sent a tank flying into the sky with a vicious kick. As it landed and exploded, he grabbed another tank by it's barrel. He swung it like a hammer, bring it down upon another tank. As the explosion enveloped him, the remaining tanks also decided to retreat backwards.

"Air support's here guys!"

A helicopter swiveled over the White House. Missiles and bullets launched towards the gun slinging ghost, obscuring him in cloud of smoke. Less then ten seconds later, Roosevelt walked out of the cloud unscathed. He spat out a bullet. "NOT ENOUGH GUN SUMBITCH!" Turning his back to the copter, he suddenly screamed in rage as he pointed his guns at the ground. The recoil from his phantasmal bullets sent him flying into the sky, right at the helicopter.

"Shit! Evasive Action-"

Too late.

The dead missile slammed right into the chopper, blowing it up in a blast of beautiful orange flame. As he fell to the ground, Teddy aimed his guns and fired at the White House, his eyes seething with rage.

"Get down!" Issei yelled as the bullets blasted through the windows, shattering them. "Wah!" Bush screamed as Issei tackled him to the ground.

Suddenly, they heard the terrifying stomping of feet, and the sound of something breaking and falling down.

With a rip and a tear, the grinning spirit of Richard Nixon stomped into the Oval Office.

May Mil-tan have mercy on them, because Tricky Dicky sure as Hell wouldn't.

-To Be Continued?

Any feedback will be appreciated.

This is based on an actual game. Give it a chance, it's really fun: Pacman 3D The White House Edition | Pacman game