Another chance
Hello people, here I am with another story :) I hope you'll like it. Feedback is very much appreciated.
A big thank you to partypantscuddy for beta-ing, check out her stories, will ya?
Columbus, 2024 (A/N: Now, how weird is that! xD)
They didn't wave at each other, nor say goodbye. Rachel drove down the street and sped in direction of the highway, feeling her mother's eyes following her till she took a turn to the right and the house she had been living in for more than ten years, disappeared behind her back, not to be seen again soon.
They had moved to Columbus when she was barely 4 years old.
She remembered spending the night at her grandmother only to be woken up gently by her grandmother. Arlene had been extremely sweet and had tried to keep her busy the whole day. First they went to the park, they visited the zoo and they went to the movies. That night her mother didn't pick her up. Nor she did the day after and the one following. She remembered asking her grandmother why her mommy wasn't there with her and Arlene had replied that she had to sort things out with someone. Just before her mother came back she had asked why her mommy didn't like her anymore. Arlene had almost cried at her granddaughter's question, something very unusual coming from her. The elder woman had hugged the kid and held her close till the toddler fell asleep.
The last thing she remembered from her days in Princeton was her mother hugging her close to her chest and placing sweet and soft kissed on her cheeks and forehead, before buckling her up in the back seat of the car. Soon after they were on the road, the New Jersey countryside moving fast around them and Rachel knew something was wrong. She only hoped everything would get better for her mommy. Those were her only thoughts while she looked intently at her, trying to understand while her mommy looked so miserable and scared.
It was only two years after that day that she met Dr James Wilson again. Her mother had looked happy but yet nervous when she greeted him and welcomed him into our house. She wanted to know everything that had happened during her absence, but she also feared of some aspects of her old life.
Rachel was only 6 years old but she could understand things. Her teachers have always told her mother that she was very intelligent. "She's a natural genius at maths" they had said. Cuddy's eyes had shone with pride that day. She was good at school, but that's all they thought she was good at. They thought she couldn't understand adults things, but if they only could see the apprehension she felt towards her mother. Rachel knew without being told that her mother was still trying to forget about something that had happened before they left Princeton; to forget the reason why they were forced to leave.
"Kids are resilient, Lisa." James had told her mother. "I'm sure Rachel doesn't even remember him being part of her life." he had added then. The girl sighed from her hiding spot. How could she forget about him? About his best friend? About the man that had taught her how to play Feed The Monkey? Or the man who had watched cartoons with her? He had been the closest person resembling a father that she had ever had. And she was only three when she had met him and she had never had the chance to say goodbye when he had completely disappeared from her and her mother's life. She didn't know the reasons; all she knew was that her mother had been moody after that and she had spend most of her time sobbing and crying.
She was 15 when her mother had explained to her that she was adopted. It had been difficult for her to understand that her mother didn't lie to her for fifteen years straight, but that she had waited for her to be old enough to understand. They had cuddled on her mother's bed while the older Cuddy told her everything about that Christmas. "You've been my present, Rachel. The best gift I could have ever received for Christmas." she had said, happy tears running down her face. Rachel had hugged her mother and told her how much she loved her, before falling asleep at her side, still clutching at her blouse. Rachel had wanted to ask more about her biological parents, but she knew her mother didn't have the answers. She also wondered if she could ask her about House, but then decided that it was better for her to wait some more time; it wasn't the right time to talk about him.
Two years later they had a huge fight. Actually it was a series of arguments and a series of lies. Rachel needed to know. She couldn't just pretend that she had never lived in Princeton like her mother wanted her to believe.
"What about House?" she had asked. Her mother had stared at her dumbfounded.
"You remember him?" Cuddy asked sitting now on the couch.
"Of course I remember him, mom! He was the closest person to a father that I have ever got! He was my best friend, mom! But you have never seem to understand that!" Rachel had yelled in frustration.
"I've never thought you could remember. You were only three years old and House and I had been together for less than a year." her mother tried to justify herself.
"Mom, I remember watching cartoons with him. I remember him babysitting me and playing that stupid game with the monkey with him." she said shaking her head in exasperation. "You've never told me why we left Princeton. Never. Every time I did ask you, you always deflected. Why?" she asked standing up and walking to the nearer window.
Silence filled the room for a couple minutes as Rachel waited for her mother to finally answer to her never ending question. She wanted to fill those gaps in her logic and in her past.
"I almost died that year." Cuddy confessed. "I had a mass in my kidney. We thought it was cancer. I was scared to death that I might die and that you might lose me forever, that I might lose you and House. When he knew that I could die, he ran away from me. He didn't support me how he was supposed to." she explained.
"Mom, he was scared! I would have been scared myself. The only thought of losing you or losing the man I love would be enough to destroy me." the girl said.
"And don't you think that I was scared myself?" Cuddy shouted. "I had lived my whole life trying to do my best at everything. I had never cared for a family till I was finally the best at my job. Then there was you and then there was House. I loved him so much; I think that I have always loved him, maybe since the first time I saw him." she sobbed and smiled sadly. "I needed him there to hold my hand. To tell me that everything was going to be all right even though it wasn't true. I knew it was hard for him; it wasn't in his nature to be open about his feelings."
"I'm sure he had tried..." Rachel started.
"Rachel, I'm not finished." she stated firmly. Cuddy glared at her daughter and Rachel immediately sat back on the couch in front of her mother. "You sure remember he had a limp." she prompted. Seeing her daughter nodding, she continued telling the whole story about House's surgery. "He started taking Vicodin and never stopped except a couple times. He had been clean for an year when we got together. But he was still an addict." she said grimly, taking a deep breath. "He showed up at the hospital the night before I had to undergo surgery. I was relieved and happy that he had been able to leave his fears behind and he was finally there with me. Later on I found out that he had taken Vicodin that night. He told me he had been in pain and that he couldn't stand the thought of losing me. He begged me not to leave him, but I had to do it for myself and also for you. We didn't talk much after that. Several things happened. Julia tried to set me up with a friend of your uncle. House stopped by that night while we were having dinner to give me back my hairbrush. He saw the man and..." Cuddy started crying again as she recalled the events of that dreadful night.
"I was at grandma's place that night, wasn't I?" Rachel asked, earning a nod from the other woman.
"Rachel, he drove into our living room with his car." she whispered, her voice was so low that Rachel barely heard her. She gasped in shock and shook her head no.
"I don't believe it." the girl said.
"Trust me, Rachel. He did and once he got out of the car, he handed me the hairbrush and walked away like nothing had happened. He got arrested some time later. I handed in my resignation the following day and tried to find another job away from Princeton. I had acquaintances here in Columbus. In less that a week I had a new job and a new place. We moved here immediately." she finished her story with a sad sigh and a sob. Cuddy was still crying and looking at her daughter who was sitting right in front of her.
Rachel was thinking about what her mother had told her. She had always though House was a good man, her best friend, but she was wrong. Was she? The young woman sighed and cradled her head in her hands trying to make things clear in her head. There was one last thing she needed to know.
"Are you still in love with him?" she asked all of a sudden. Cuddy stiffened from her seat and stared at her for a while. Rachel looked up at her mother, clearly waiting for an answer.
"No." she replied staring blankly at her hands. Rachel shook her head and chuckled.
"That was a lie, mom." she said. Cuddy looked up at her again in shock. "I can see it in your eyes that this is a lie and I see the way you talk about him. Your eyes shine even though you're saying something dreadful about him."
"Rachel, I had to leave him. He was dangerous for both of us..." Cuddy replied, her voice rising at her daughter's smug expression.
"Oh, come on! He would have never hurt you nor me! He was hurt mom!" she yelled.
"Stop justifying him, Rachel! He doesn't need you to be his advocate! Ha did something extremely wrong and he had to pay for it." Cuddy shouted at the younger woman. Rachel walked to the hallway, took her coat, her purse and the car keys before entering the living room once again.
"You are lying to yourself, mom." she said harshly. She walked to the front door and opened it. She took a deep breath and walked towards her car.
"Rachel, come back inside this instant!" Cuddy yelled from the porch, tears streaming down her face.
"Leave me the hell alone, mom!" Rachel replied sharply as she opened her car. She closed the door with anger and frustration and switched on the car.
"Rachel, don't you dare leave!" her mother said as she walked towards the car she had recently helped Rachel in buying. The girl looked up at her mother; her eyes red and puffy from the tears and the sleepless nights spent looking for answers and every piece of information she could gather about her biological parent.
She glanced one more time at her mother. Cuddy's eyes pleaded her to get out of the car and forgive her, to get back inside their house and pretend that nothing had happened. And if she could only allow herself a few seconds of silence, she could have heard her mother's soft whispers that even though she wasn't her biological mother, she was the one who brought her up and loved her more than she had ever loved anyone.
They didn't wave at each other, nor say goodbye. Rachel drove down the street and sped in direction of the highway, feeling her mother's eyes following her till she took a turn to the right and the house she had been living in for more than ten years, disappeared behind her back, not to be seen again soon.
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