Fair Warning: This is suuuper stupid. I have no idea why this exists. But it does. Anyways; one-shot, random, funny hopefully, makes little sense, a lot of out of character-ness. I suppose there's fluff…does that count as fluff?
Don't Delete
High School. A place filled with future murderers, convicts, and other such criminals. "I need to cleanse this world. It's disgusting and full of eviiil." Light Yagami, aka Kira, was glaring down his future victims, his monologue aloud. But alas, Ryuk took all the Death Notes with him on his weekly beach vacation so Light had no 'weapon' so to speak. He was all alone-well, not alone exactly.
A cell phone rang and a long haired man answered it. On the other line was Light, aka Kira, aka God. Mikami too wishes to rid the world of evil, so it made sense that the two of them became friends. "Yes God?" He asked excitedly. It soon became apparent to Mikami that Light may have had a bad day. "Rawr! So many evil doers and evil at ma school! There's bullies and mean guys and bad stuff eeeverywhere! I am justice and they're the opposite of justice- there un-justice!" Mikami was silent for a moment after the usual rant. "…Should I rid you of them God." It wasn't really a question. Soon Mikami was cackling creepily in a low voice. "What?" Light wasn't paying attention to Mikami's words when the phone call suddenly ended. "….well then."
The next day at school, Light had noticed a decline in the people who he claimed as evildoers the day before. He then caught sight of a bully threatening a nerd-like boy. "Tch. I despise that guy!" Delete. The bully stiffened and instantly fell backwards like a log and was dead. Everyone around him panicked but Light was dumbstruck. But he shrugged it off and went on his merry way. "Whateva', he gone now. Less bad guys whoop!"
Pretty soon, as Light called out of the corruption he came across per usual, he soon noticed a common occurrence. "That guys a drug dealer..!" Delete. "Did that man just rob a bank?!" Delete. "That woman's jacket clashes with her purse." Delete. "HEY! She said I wasn't pretty!" DELETE. "Oh great, another group of girls are trying to hit on me again..." DELETE DELETE DELETE! "What in the name of me is going on here?!"
After a while Light went to meet Mikami in the usual meeting place. "So Mikami. What have you been up to today?" Light asked like an all-knowing mother does to a disobedient child. Mikami was silent before speaking. "…nooooothiiiing…" "Mikami." Said man stood up from his seat and stated, "I was helping you cleanse the world! I was helping!" Light Yagami sighed in a disappointed way. "Now Mikami, you KNOW that I only kill bad guys, riiight?" Mikami looked to the ground not meeting 'God's' eyes. "…I was only killing bad guys…" "Mikami do not lie to God. God knows that you killed the girls that hit on him. They were not murderers. Naughty naughty naughty." Mikami sat back down and refused to admit he was wrong. "What wrong did they do?" Mikami mumbled under his breathe softtly enough that Light couldn't hear. "What was tha-" "You are MY God, not theirs! They had no right to bother my Kira!"
Light took a moment to assess the situation fully. 'Why did Mikami still have a Death Note? Why did he murder the girl whose jacket I hated? Why did Ryuk chose to go to the beach of all places? …why is he behind me?' He turned to look at Mikami who was approaching him slowly. "Mikami-" said man cut him off stating in a suddenly serious, more in-character-type of voice, "You are my God and I am your servant. I refuse to let my Kira suffer because of flirty ladies." Light stood there for a moment, then he patted the jealous man on the head. "Man you cray cray! No but seriously, Mikami, let's try to focus on killing the bad criminals next time alright?" As the strange Light Yagami soothed the crazy Mikami that I created, the story faded to a confusing close.
What have I done to you readers?! Well, if you enjoyed this then I'm happy. If you hated this and wish that you could take back these moments of your life, then to you I say sorry bro, the deed is done. Until next time my lovely readers~