Today, a twilight fanfic

"Today"

A little different to how it is in the books – but the same basic principal.

Today he told he that he loved her
Put a ring around her finger
And promised her forever, together

Here I am.

Standing in the shadows.

Watching the love of my life basically sign her death warrant.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan," he said, his voice cracking slightly. He slid that gaudy diamond encrusting ring onto her finger. "I promise to love you and be with you forever."

It felt wrong, watching this.

Today, she smiled for all the pictures
And he was right there with her
Making all the memories without me

She didn't even notice I wasn't there. Not even during the photos. He stood next oher, his hand protectively on her waist.

And she was smiling – because he was there.

Because they were making all their memories of their new life together.

A life without me.

And it hurts to say this out loud
Looks like she's really gone now

"I, Isabella Marie Swan, Promise to love and cherish,"

I walked out.

I wasn't gonna hear this declaration.

The pain was stabbing into me.

"She's really gone," I breathed, and the pain seemed to engulf me, though I was still alive.

Not like her.

Not anymore.

Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her today
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?
I know I should be happy for her
But I've lost everything
I've lost everything I've ever wanted today

Today is supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Her wedding day.

I should be happy that she's happy – that she's getting her happy ending, like she always wanted.

It isn't stopping the tears though.

Today I thought about the moment
I could have said I loved her
And promised her forever, together

As I watched their first dance together as a married couple, I couldn't help but think about how I could have done it better – how I could have promised her forever, together, with me.

I could have said I loved her, and not let her go until she said it back.

Today, today it really hit me
That she don't really miss me
She's found a new beginning

God, she's beautiful.

But it hits me – she's not really missing me.

This is her beginning.

A new beginning.

With the guy who hurt her.

Who constantly put her at risk.

But, she doesn't miss me, not really.

So I can't say anything.

And I'm wishing
I had one more chance
God knows it's too late for that

I wish I had one more chance, before all this pomp and this white veil occasion.

I could have said 'no' when the priest asked to speak now.

But I was too far gone.

The pain was too much.

These tears aren't abating.

If anything, they're threatening to fall even more.

I know I should be happy for her.

But how can?

Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her
But I've lost everything
I've lost everything I've ever wanted

How can I be happy for her, when today, I lost everything I had ever wanted.

I lost everything today.

Today he told he that he loved her
Put a ring around her finger

I lost it all today.

Today, when he told her that he loved her, put that ring around her finger.

And together, promised each other, forever.

And I ran out of the room.

I said goodbye with my tears.