Disclamier: Nothing Belongs TO I, DALe.
A/N: I realize that I have been absent and to my fans--I am so very sorry! I was on a fishing trip these past few years and it was wonderful. I caught a dolphin!
Chapter one: Saving Babies!
Intro:
DUN DUN duh nuh nuh nuhhh nuhhhhh DUN DUN! Duh nuh nuh nuhhh nuhhhhhhh (doo doo doo doodee da doodee)
BUM BUM
(and other such dramatic music).
In sauntered the scintillatingly obsequious Elliot Stabler, tending to the fresh tattoo on his lower abdomen. It was of a cat.
Meow!
And then his partner in crime, Nancy Benson aka Olivia, said, "Hey El, you should put some balm on that pussy cat"
And then he made a really gross pun like "I'd like to put some balm on your " I'll let you figure it out!
You could cut the sexual tension with a spork. Eliot smiled so very very very very very very very very sexily and whispered,
"You now you want me." And then Olivia aka Meredith was like, "Uhh. YAH!"
But then! In Walked Elliott's six kids! There were so many of them and some of them had long hair and some of them had short hair. His daughter, Paloma, whispered obsequiously, "OliviaNancy, do not you dare try to canoodle with my dada! He married to my ma!" she had some sort of accent that Bensoon could not place. Perhaps French? Perhabs ebonics? OliviaN sighed as she wore that blue shirt. SUDDENLY
And then Ice-T strolled on up in that heezy. His hair curled so fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Arm in arm with Officer Munch, who lets face it is wrinklier than a pecan, Finn (?? Spelling!?) asked a lugubrious question.
"Stabbler? Is that tattoo a tribute to my dead mother?"
Stabler asked "Hey Ice-Finn, why would you ask me that?"
And then Ice-T said "Because my mom was a cat named Ruth!! Ruth-T!"
And Stabller was all "Oh I am so sorry that your mom's faced is forever emblazzened on my hot body too bad I am blind and can never ever ever see it"
"and Olivia said we need to investigate!"
THE GROCERY STORE 9:24 BUM BUM
(somewhere in Oklahoma)
Munch browsed the poultry aisle, in search of some fine ostrich eggs to cook up for the bi-semi-quasi-annual SVU BBQ UIEWUEHGFJN,
Elliot struggled to get those nine crazy kids off of him, but alas! He could not. Until Olivia showed up with a croquet mallet. Then, somehow, he did.
OH MY GOD DON'T WORRY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?
Then the murder that the show SUV is based around happened!
There was this kid and it may or may not have been fathered by Stablre and he was killed in the ggrocery store!
BUT HOW?! DID ICE-T DO IT? DID A RAPIST DO IT? Or was it that giant frozen turkey that fell from the ceiling?
I DON'T KNOW AND NEITHER DO YOU!!