200 Hundred on the Cardinals.
I need to put 200 hundred on the Cardinals.
I need to put 200 hundred on the Cardinals.
It was thumping around in his head on repeat as he walked back towards the kitchen. Heart racing, adrenaline pumping with a faint desire to vomit. The last feeling being new. He knew why. He had so much more to lose this time. He said he would be fine. He could handle this. He knew it was a lie the whole time.
As he approached the kitchen, he saw her talking to the newly minted big sister to be excitedly and almost lost it right there. He leaned against the wall briefly and overheard the conversation.
"Mommy, I want a sister… No a brother… A sister." "What do you want Mommy."
"Christine, mommy wants a healthy baby and for all four of us to be happy together."
Bones' statement did it. He swallowed the urge to vomit and in a voice that he did not recognize as his own, pathetically called out.
"Bones."
She turned her head and instantly, her smile faded. She knew.
"Christine, come along now… straight to bed big sister." Trying her hardest to keep it together.
"Ok Mommy, Night Daddy… I love you."
Unable to trust his own voice, he hugger her tightly and watched her mother walk her back to bed.
As he waited on the couch, the only thought he was able to form was a prayer that she wouldn't leave him by morning taking everything that mattered with him.
When she came back into sight down the hall, tears sprang to his eyes.
"Im so sorry. So sorry. Im just so sorry."
Bones sat next to him on the couch and reached out for him.
By the time her arms were around him completely, the tears had begun. Part shame, part relief that she was at least sitting there with him and not packing, and the rest sheer terror that he was not strong enough to overcome this and keep his family together.
"What happened?" She asked in such a tone that he knew she was one moment away from breaking down herself. She had her own demons… her fear of abandonment ever present in most situations in her life and he knew she was assessing the likelihood of this taking him away from her.
"I don't know. I'm not strong. I thought I could do this. I thought I was man enough to handle this. I'm not." He rambled as he clang to her like if he let go, she would be gone.
"It wasn't your sponsor was it?'
"200 on the Cardinals, Bones. I just put 200 on the Cardinals."
She sucked in her breath like he had just kicked her in the stomach. He knew this was not good for the baby. She was pregnant for Christ's sakes. What has he done? She can't go through this right now.
Yet, true to nature, she swooped in to save him.
"Booth, give me the phone." Having met the man yesterday, he knew what she was going to do. Call Jason and sort this out. He wasn't going to ask details… She couldn't really cancel the bet, that he knew but he knew by the time that the call was over; the bet would not be discussed again.
As she got up to leave the room, she requested he go to their room and run a bath.
"Just go take a deep breath and I'll be right with you. Neither of us has slept much in the last few days. We need to sleep."
Nodding numbly, he got up and went to do as she asked as she wandered down the hall to take care of his pathetic mistake.
Several minutes later, he sunk into the water and the tears started again. How did he get here? This couldn't actually be happening. He had to make this better. He needed this to be a momentary relapse.
It happens. He told himself. He was an addict. It was bigger than him making the wrong decision. Step 1… Honesty. He was an addict. He needed help. But how could he possibly ask her to do this?
As she appeared in the doorway, she gave him the faintest smile. She took a deep breath as if preparing for battle.
She walked in and began to undress. His tears got bigger. She wasn't leaving. She was going to fix this. She was protecting her family just like she had done selflessly in the past. However, this time, it wasn't a serial killer. It was his inner demons. And in true to Bones fashion, she didn't intend to lose.
As she slipped in front of him in their large tub, she grabbed his hands that instinctively flew to the small swell of her belly.
"Booth, you are an addict. You have had a relapse. This does not speak to the nature of who you are. I knew I should have made a bigger protest of you doing this. You don't have to be strong enough to handle putting yourself in that situation. We will fix this. Tomorrow, we go to a meeting. You call your sponsor and we start again at Day 1."
With each word she said, he just held on tighter. As if somehow, when she was done, the whole thing would be behind them. He knew it was wishful thinking but unlike the past, this time he had someone in his corner to help him and he was actually starting to believe that he might come out on the other side of this.
He was a different person and his life was different. He had so much more to lose. He could do this.
A/N: I hope you like it. Just a short rambling I couldn't help but jot down. I am still new to this so feedback always appreciated.