FADE IN:

SCENE 01: LIVING ROOM: INT: DAY

A spacious living room surrounded by six doors and a kitchen/dining room. PROUVAIRE is in the kitchen washing dishes. ENJOLRAS is in his comfy chair reading a newspaper. BAHOREL is sitting on the couch facing the television, chewing gum, frustrated at his computer. FEUILLY opens the main door and exasperates after a long day.

FEUILLY: UGH! Some people should not be allowed to drive!

PROUVAIRE: Let me guess. It was that senile old Asian who still believes he pulls the carts in Singapore!

FEUILLY: Oh don't you think that's a little low? It only happened the one time! No, I'm just saying some people! Regardless of race, gender, or age. Maybe people below a certain level of I.Q.

PROUVAIRE: Oh come on that's prejudice! I know a guy who knows a guy who went out with a girl who's second cousin twice removed, has a low I.Q.

FEUILLY: Prouvaire, sometimes I feel like your detailed responses lower the I.Q. of everyone here!

COURFEYRAC enters from his bedroom, with a sexy-looking girl.

COURFEYRAC: I'm glad you had fun too. I'll call you later tonight make sure you got home ok!

GIRL: Ok hot stuff!

GIRL exits through the front door, passing by Lesgles who is not in the least surprised.

LESGLES: Hey Courf, aren't you forgetting something?

COURFEYRAC: What would I forget?

LESGLES: You forgot to leave a sticky note with a number on her back so you can remember which one she was.

COURFEYRAC: Nah I don't think I'll see her again. She pulled the "New Phone Who Dis?" trick on me when I called.

PROUVAIRE: Oh come on she was just playing with you. She wouldn't have forgotten.

COURFEYRAC: I called her on Skype.

ENJOLRAS: (continuing to read newspaper) I'm surprised she actually knew how to fake it the whole 7 minutes.

JOLY enters from the bathroom in a towel after his shower.

BAHOREL: Hey, guys! Do you mind? I'm trying to figure this thing out!

JOLY: It's o.k., Bahorel. Just remember the number 8, does not appear in the word incorporate.

BAHOREL responds by spitting his gum at JOLY, hitting him right on the arm. JOLY shrieks and yanks the gum off of it.

JOLY: You're evil, you know that Bahorel! I just showered! You suck!

JOLY storms back into the bathroom. Combeferre walks in the front door next. At this point, Enjolras crumples up his newspaper and throws it away.

COMBEFERRE: :What happened, Enjolras? The Patriots lose again?

ENJOLRAS: Very funny!

COMBEFERRE notices BAHOREL is struggling with something.

COMBEFERRE: O.k., what's the problem today Bahorel?

BAHOREL: I can't log into my account. I wrote it down last time, and I have it right here in front of me and I've been very careful. I typed in every character one at a time, and I just cannot log in!

COMBEFERRE approaches and looks over on the screen, followed by the keyboard.

COMBEFERRE: Turn off your caps-lock.

BAHOREL does so, and in no time, he expresses a look of satisfaction.

BAHROEL: Thanks 'Ferre!

COMBEFERRE: No problem. So what's on the menu, Prouvaire?

PROUVAIRE: So, how was work, Combeferre?

COMBEFERRE: It was o.k. What's on the menu?

PROUVAIRE: ...Hey, Lesgles did the band do well today?

LESGLES: Yeah the gig is this weekend. What's on the menu?

PROUVAIRE: (Pause) Feuilly's hit lots of traffic did you know—

ENJOLRAS, BAHOREL, and JOLY (O.S.): Yeah we know! What's on the menu?

PROUVAIRE: So... I kind of got sidetracked while I was at the mall-

The men grumble.

COMBEFERRE: Chinese it is. Who's got the num—

ENJOLRAS holds up the Chinese menu without looking up from his iPad. Combeferre goes over to pick it up and looks at his screen.

COMBEFERRE: Thanks. Oooh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Save your resources to upgrade your weapons and ammunition.

ENJOLRAS: Seriously? Every time you say it like that it makes me look like I'm an anarchist!

BAHOREL: Are you playing a video game?

ENJOLRAS (Sarcastically) No, Bahorel, they messed up my order on Amazon so I got a freebie at the gun-shop.

BAHOREL looks dumbfounded as COMBEFERRE dials his phone.

*An 80's rock version of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" plays as the show's theme song*

THE BARRICADE BUDDIES

Starring RAMIN KARIMLOO Enjolras. (Enjolras reads the newspaper and rolls his eyes.)

NOAH REID as Combeferre. (Combeferre is doing homework and unknowingly bites off half of his pencil and eats it.)

ZOOEY DESCHANNEL as Eponine. (Eponine is doing her nails when she accidentally touches her hair to satisfy an itch then gets her fingers stuck.)

JOHN KRASINSKI as Courfeyrac. (Courfeyrac is sitting at a bar nonchalantly checking out women passing by him.)

SETH GREEN as Feuilly. (Feuilly is sitting at the diner bar looking depressed; down on his luck, before he has to put on a smile when a new customer walks in.)

ADAM SCOTT as Joly. (Joly walks out of the bathroom just as Lesgles sneezes, causing Joly to casually walk back in.)

THOMAS SANDERS as Prouvaire. (Prouvaire is in the kitchen with a bottle of sauce in his hands. He takes a wiff of it, pulls back in disgust before pouring it into his mixing bowl.)

CHRIS PRATT as Lesgles. (Lesgles is sitting at a table opening up a fortune cookie, accidentally cutting himself in the process.)

STEVE HOWEY as Bahorel. (Bahorel is crouching down to tie his shoe, but appears to have extreme difficulties.)

OFFICER DANIELS as Javert (Javert is sitting in his police car with his binoculars and eating a donut)

TIM CONWAY as Mabeuf (Mabeuf is seen letting huge amounts of salt pouring into the soup pot)

With TAYLOR BALL & ELLIE KEMPER as Marius & Cosette. (Marius and Cosette are sitting on the couch cuddling, while everyone else throws popcorn at them.)

And JAKE JOHNSON as Grantaire (Grantaire pours a vodka shot into a tiny shot glass, then chugs the whole bottle.

SCENE 02: LIVING ROOM; INT; NIGHT

ENJOLRAS, LESGLES and COMBEFERRE are on the couch reading their textbooks. GRANTAIRE walks in the front door aggravated.

GRANTAIRE I seriously cannot stand people anymore.

COMBEFERRE What happened?

GRANTAIRE I got stiffed by at least 13 different customers.

LESGLES Who keeps track of stiffers?

ENJOLRAS Usually the morgue or the condom consumer committee.

GRANTAIRE storms into the kitchen.

COMBEFERRE Oh come on, Grantaire it's only your first week. You can't expect to be the world's greatest bartender overnight!

GRANTAIRE Oh I know... I just would like to be acknowledged for my drinks. I mean I make pretty good drinks right you guys?

ENJOLRAS, LESGLES, and COMBEFERRE look at each other in awkward silence.

LESGLES Sure!

ENJOLRAS Yea of course!

COMBEFERRE Yeah that Virgin on the Rocks you made the other day was really good!

GRANTAIRE (Defensive) That was supposed to be a LONG ISLAND ice tea!

GRANTAIRE runs off to one of the doors and slams it shut.

ENJOLRAS Closet.

GRANTAIRE walks out and approaches the next door.

LESGLES Bathroom.

GRANTAIRE Why the hell do we have so many doors?!

GRANTAIRE storms off into his room.

LESGLES Honestly, why can't we just tell him he's better at drinking alcohol than serving it?

COMBEFERRE We're trying to get him to sober up. Remember?

ENJOLRAS Yeah and how is that going exactly?

COMBEFERRE You found the bottles didn't you?

ENJOLRAS Our room is the only one that has a light-switch the furthest away from the door. Pitch black when I'm ready to go to bed. You think I got this bruise on my head by slipping on an orange peel just because they ran out of bananas?

COMBEFERRE O.K. so maybe this is trickier than we thought.

LESGLES We just need to find something that he knows like riding a bike.

ENJOLRAS Creating customized drinking games do not count as a profession.

COMBEFERRE Is there anything he can do?

EPONINE walks out of her bedroom. COMBEFERRE takes a deep breath.

EPONINE Hey guys. Can't sleep either?

LESGLES Nope. Trying to figure out a career path for Grantaire, since bartending isn't exactly working out for him.

EPONINE Is there anything he can do professionally?

COMBEFERRE He's the only one out of all of us that still has an identity crisis and thinks he can solve it by chugging it.

EPONINE thinks for a moment. COMBEFERRE tries to steal a look every so often without it being obvious.

EPONINE Think he can do volunteer work?

LESGLES Like what?

EPONINE Like maybe he can work at a soup kitchen? I mean it wouldn't pay but it could get him out of the house.

ENJOLRAS Hey, I'm o.k. with ANYHTING at this point while I still have a functioning head.

EPONINE A functioning what?

LESGLES and COMBEFERRE Don't ask.

SCENE 03: SOUP KITCHEN; INT; DAY

EPONINE and GRANTAIRE arrive at the soup kitchen. They see the Manager, Mister MABEUF.

EPONINE Mr. Mabeuf?

MABUEF 'Ponine! Haven't seen you in a while! How are you?

EPONINE I'm good. I actually have a favor to ask of you. My friend here, is Grantaire. He was wondering if he can help volunteer here.

MABUEF I don't see why not.

EPONINE Great! See you later, Grantaire!

SCENE 04: LIVING ROOM; INT; NIGHT

COMBEFERRE and EPONINE are sitting on the couch by themselves, watching T.V. and eating popcorn.

EPONINE Who do you think did it?

COMBEFERRE The suspect is usually not among them. It has to be a twist.

EPONINE Wait... shut up he's about to say it!

They wait for an answer, when the T.V. cuts abruptly to a commercial. COMBEFERRE and EPONINE shout in anger.

EPONINE I can't believe this! Now we have to wait until next week!

COMBEFERRE They seriously couldn't cut to commercial the second the murderer's announced?

COMBEFERRE flips the channel. EPONINE gets up.

EPONINE Want more popcorn?

COMBEFERRE I'm good.

As EPONINE walks away, COMBEFERRE takes another deep breath.

COMBEFERRE What do you want to watch now?

EPONINE I don't care. Rom-Com?

COMBEFERRE Fine by me. I need to re-coop after that outrage.

EPONINE returns to the couch.

EPONINE Didn't you have a date tonight?

COMBEFERRE Maybe Courfeyrac does but not me. Just haven't had the time.

EPONINE 'Ferre, if you're not here, you're at the college! You need to go out with someone already!

COMBEFERRE I don't know what you'd expect. No one catches my interest...

EPONINE (Sinking into her seat) No one?

COMBEFERRE I mean... there is one girl that I've had a crush on for a while. But she doesn't know. Probably only considers me as a friend.

EPONINE Awe, you won't know until you ask her out!

COMBEFERRE I couldn't. She's probably interested in someone else.

EPONINE Who is the Christine to our unfortunate Phantom?

The doorbell rings.

COMBEFERRE (to himself) Saved by the bell.

COMBEFERRE walks to the front door. EPONINE hugs her pillow. COMBEFERRE opens the door and there is OFFICER JAVERT and GRANTAIRE with his head hung low.

COMBEFERRE Oh, hi Officer Javert.

JAVERT Do you even want to know?

COMBEFERRE Eh, it's only the seventh time this month.

JAVERT Well, Grantaire here thought it would be funny to slip some alcohol into the soup pot.

EPONINE Are you kidding me?!

GRANTAIRE It wasn't that much!

JAVERT It was the really strong kind. One of the visitors took one spoonful, and started going crazy.

COMBEFERRE Oh my god. Were they like, convulsing?

JAVERT No, he believed he was Moses, and tried to pick up two sidewalk tiles claiming they were the Ten Commandments. I witnessed the scene and could only conclude—

COMBEFERRE Thank you, Officer. We'll take it from here.

JAVERT For how much longer? He does Community Service and he's a threat to the community.

JAVERT leaves. GRANTAIRE slumps inside and sits on a chair. COMBEFERRE slams the door shut.

COMBEFERRE A Soup Kitchen? Seriously?! Of all the places, you tried to liquor up a charity place?!

GRANTAIRE It was just a bit of fun! It was only towards the end of the day.

COMBEFERRE Yeah, but today it was Moses. Last week, that construction worker went crazy and thought he was a codebreaker.

EPONINE Yeah what happened with that?

COMBEFERRE They found him at the Louvre exclaiming he cracked Da Vinci's Code.

EPONINE (Pause) What kind of alcohol—

COMBEFERRE Don't ask.

GRANTAIRE Look I'm sorry if I just can't stay away from alcohol O.K.? Maybe the knowledge that I can't do anything right is what drives me to drink! Talking to you guys doesn't exactly help!

COMBEFERRE Aw come on, Grantaire, there has to be something you can do.

BAHOREL opens up his door with a picture in his hands.

BAHOREL Hey Grantaire, what is this painting you did doing in my room again?

GRANTAIRE You asked me to make it for you, remember? Said it helps to calm your nerves.

EPONINE and COMBEFERRE look at each other, then it dawns on GRANTAIRE.

SCENE 05: SIDEWALK; EXT; DAY

PROUVAIRE and GRANTAIRE are setup with a large table stand with a sign that says "$30 for a painting of your choosing!" Several already-made paintings are stacked up on the table.

PROUVAIRE Come one! Come All! Why buy expensive paintings from dead artists when you can get the same quality for a cheaper price! And if we don't have what you need, for an extra 3 payments of $19.99 you can get a customized painting by the end of the week.

COMBEFERRE and EPONINE are watching from a distance.

COMBEFERRE Looks like Grantaire has finally found his calling.

EPONINE And he's not using Jack Daniels to add texture to his sunsets.

COMBEFERRE Job well done! (high-fives EPONINE) Oh by the way, we never finished our talk last night.

EPONINE Oh yeah! You were going to tell me who your crush was that you're too chicken to ask out?

COMBEFERRE I'm not chicken! I just don't know how she would react!

EPONINE Well, just for the fun of it, pretend I'm her.

COMBEFERRE What?

EPONINE Pretend I'm the girl you want to ask out.

COMBEFERRE Well...well, o.k. "Hey, Eponine…I was just-

EPONINE's phone starts buzzing.

EPONINE Oh shoot! Can you just give me a minute? I have to take this. I'm sorry!

EPONINE walks off. COMBEFERRE just stands there, then leans against the wall. COURFEYRAC approaches him.

COURFEYRAC Wet Paint!

COMBEFERRE jumps off the wall. COURFEYRAC starts lauging.

COURFEYRAC Relax, 'Ferre! You can't paint bricks!

COMBEFERRE Very funny. Can I help you?!

COURFEYRAC Oh, you've already helped me. See, my phone died, and I'm out of change for a newspaper, so I thought I could entertain myself with this little melodrama that's taking place!

COMBEFERRE Cut it out, Courf. She was only pretending. We were just running lines.

COURFEYRAC Uh huh…

Meanwhile, around the corner…

EPONINE What was so important that you had to call me, Musichetta? (pause) Well no, I'm not mad. Except you called just when he was about to ask! Well I can't now! The moment's ruined…I have to be sneakier next time! Thanks a lot!

EPONINE hangs up her phone. At the table stand, JOLY approaches GRANTAIRE who is busy with his painting.

JOLY Grantaire? I didn't know you painted!

GRANTAIRE Joly! How nice to see you!

GRANTAIRE goes to shake JOLY's hand. When he lets go, Joly sees wet paint on his hand.

JOLY Seriously?! Of all substances?! If this doesn't come off you're buying me new hand sanitizers.

JOLY skulks away.

GRANTAIRE Well, maybe next time, he'll remember personal space when I'm working. So unprofessional!

FADE OUT