A/N: Based off of the scene in 2x05 in which Kurt and Blaine are in the car at Scandals. I kind of took the scene and this quote and ran with it.
Monsters and Ghosts
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." – Stephen King
He doesn't know what he's doing, really. Not anymore. His hands come up around his boyfriend's back, pulling Kurt closer. Always closer. The hem of his shirt rides up for a moment and for a second, Blaine's hand touches skin. He's aware that the boy above him is wriggling, begging him to stop but he can't hear any of that. All he can hear is the alcohol rushing through his veins, overriding his senses and making him feel, not for the first time, completely out of control.
The thing is, Blaine's never really in control. Oh, he pretends he is. He knows better than anyone how to smile, and laugh and give hypocritical advice to people who were probably better off before he came along and complicated their lives. Sometimes he feels so out of control, he could scream with it, the world closing in around him. Crushed under the weight of his father's expectations, under the disappointed looks and heavy glares when he comes home with anything less than full marks.
Dalton gave him a semblance of control, but now that is gone too. Gone, from the moment he walked into McKinley and felt his first slushy, the cold ice sliding its way down into his shirt, leaving an icy trail over his heart. Gone, when Finn shot down his ideas and relegated him to the bottom of the group, ignored and unwanted. Gone, the moment he saw Kurt laughing with the newly reformed Dave Karofsky and realised that the love of his life probably preferred his homophobic ex-bully to him.
His head is still screaming, claws ripping at the edges of his consciousness as he grips to the only thing that makes sense. Kurt is here, Kurt wants this, kurtkurtkurt. His hands slip under his boyfriend's shirt, rubbing the smooth skin there. He wants to bite, to mark, to claim. He doesn't know what has come over him; only that if he stops, the whole world will as well. Only that's not quite right, is it. Because Kurt's hands are gone from his, the warm skin of Kurt's belly is wrenched away and suddenly, Blaine is left on his back, arms empty and body suddenly cold. Realisation is slow, and for a second, he doesn't understand the anger in his boyfriend's voice.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
And suddenly, he gets it. Because the truth is, Blaine really doesn't have to ask. He's a monster. He's wrong. And Kurt deserves so, so much better.