Sometimes when you love someone
it's innocent, it doesn't have to be heartbreaking.
you and I can we be friends?
x.
It's on his eyes, she thinks, when her bright, emerald eyes meet his dark midnight eyes from across the room.
She immediately looks away, and stares back at her food on the table. She spares a moment to think, then looks at him again. He isn't looking anymore. With a breathe of courage, she hops down on her seat, and grabs an extra sandwich on her lunchbox.
She straightens down her bubble dress a little, and brushes off her bangs sideways to make herself presentable, before she skirts her way towards him.
She doesn't exactly know why her heart is pounding hard against her chest at that moment, but her mama always tells her that, if she wanted to be friends with someone, one must have the heart, and courage to make the first move. So without further doubts, she walks down to the boy seating at the far end of the room.
She used to think that Uchiha-san has always been that enigma that stays on that particular part of the room. He never bothers to talk to someone, nor even associates with anyone even if he looks so much more like a prince than to most boys of their class. Maybe, she thinks briefly, that's how princes should be like? Maybe, he's a shy prince?
Her practical heart choose to believe that very one thing that maybe he's just shy. After all, she doesn't want to think that Uchiha-san is everything... but being happy.
Of course, it isn't like that.
Uchiha-san may carry the potentials of being a perfect prince charming, like how her mama always says to her, but sometimes, sometimes, prince charming(s) can be shy when surrounded by people they're not familiar with. So, it's not always perfect when it comes to Uchiha-san—even if his existence is almost equivalent to perfection—no. Sometimes, it's the opposite.
And sometimes, princess(es) have to take the first initiative to say—
"Hi, do you want a sandwich?" says the little girl with two pink braided hair. "It's strawberry jam my mama made it for me, but I'm sharing you one." She says, hands the sandwich on the top of his blue lunchbox.
The little boy could've only looked at her with a pair of confused eyes.
Sakura looks at him, and waits for his response as she clasps her hands altogether across her bubble skirt. "Why are you always alone? Are you afraid of talking to others?"
Taken completely by surprise, the young boy throws it out there with lame attempts to intimidate her. His lips crafts into a pout, and Sakura, who has been watching him, somehow, finds his bashful reaction prettily cute.
"I don't mind if you want to sit with us. My friends are there. We can play tag after." She says, genuinely smiling at him.
With a huff of air, he looks away, still pouting. "I don't want to play with you."
Sakura, unfazed in the moment, watches as he takes a glimpse at her from the corners of his eyes, and to her sandwich. She shrugs afterwards, the befitting smile on her lips widens a tad, and she says too enthusiastically, "okay, you just stay there, but if you want to play with us, Sasuke-kun can always join!"
Then she leaves, waving a hand at him, as if all those snobbery that he throws at her are no match to how courageous her heart is.
Sakura grins, and disappears within his range. Sasuke—cool like how his older brother projects himself to him—glares even more at her retreating figure, somehow unaware to the notion that his cheeks turn into different shades of tomato red.
And Sakura, the ever so cheerful girl in their class, has long figured out on her own that she always has this kind of distant appreciation towards him.
x.
In elementary, Sakura has seen him grows a little bit friendly.
Although there are still times, when he just doesn't feel like replying a simple good morning to her, or to anyone, Uchiha-san is constant to his gratitude, like saying thank you, when someone helps him.
Still, Sakura's watchful eyes never misses the chance to see how he learns to be acquainted with someone other than himself. Yes, he may not have much friends unlike her, who is friends with the shy Hyūga heiress, bold and confident Yamanaka, and others—Sasuke-kun only has one: a loud, delinquent one, whom her friend has a crush on. She doesn't quite understand the concept on that, but as far as how her understanding heart goes, she finds it admirably amazing, considering how applicable opposite attracts to the two of them.
It isn't exactly the kind of friendship Sasuke-kun would willingly engage himself into, rather it is a rivalry sort.
Sakura comes to learn that kind of set up, when Naruto—the blond one—challenged Sasuke-kun into a one lap race one afternoon after their basic nihongo class. That was completely out of the blue, and if her memory served her right, then that was the beginning of their so-called friendship.
"Uchiha-kun," she starts calling him Uchiha-kun ever since he makes the notion of calling him Sasuke-kun without any invitation apparent to her quite unceremonious. He just didn't like to be addressed like that, she guesses.
Sasuke slants a gaze to her. For Sakura, it is always an acknowledgment enough when he gives her a tad of his attention.
"I just want to congratulate you." She continues.
He raises a brow, fixing the buttons of his sleeve at the wrist. "For?" Says him.
"For bagging the role." She says, happily. Sasuke's expression slowly shifts into a mild scowl.
But the pink haired continues, "I'm so happy they picked you to be the main lead."
"Shut up," he says, lips pursuing into an adorable pout—as what Sakura would always happily see. "I doubt Juliet has a pink hair."
"O-oh?" She stammers, pulling up one of her long braided pigtails across her sight. "This?" She looks at him in response. But without waiting for an answer, she says, "don't you think it's for a change then? I can always wear a wig, Uchiha-kun, if you don't like it."
He huffs, slightly embarrassed. He mutters underneath his breath, "I just don't want to be part of this."
She stares up at him, marveled for one split second, at how she didn't get ignored by him. Yes, true to form, Sasuke-kun can sometimes come off strong, intimidating, and all those negative rumors other people would like to construct about him, but this time...
This time, he is just different. It is as if he is definitely, strangely kind to her. She isn't getting ignored like how most of her classmates were, instead he is starting to acknowledge her.
It's like a privilege to some sort—she doesn't know. All she knows, and all she remembers is the image of his eyes slowly softening underneath her still gaze, and a small, subtle curve forming into his lips—
and Sakura, who has been watching him, finally learning who Uchiha-kun really is.
"No, no. Don't be." She finally says, "Don't be like that," she repeats. "You will fit the role, if you just do your best, Sasuke-kun." There she says it again—his name, his first name.
Hearing his name again at the sound of her voice brings back the familiar feeling of when she approaches him the very first time when they were still six.
Although it is still a novelty, she doesn't think of it as a coincidence. No, she thinks, not. Maybe, it's fate.
It has always been fate, her mama says.
"Sasu—" she hears him tries to whisper his name underneath his breath, then he snaps his attention to look at her. His eyes narrow, and then he speaks, "you didn't get my point. Did you?" Then he looks away, bashful.
She blinks once, twice, and a lot of several times after that. Now that she has figured him out, she says, all confidently, "I do." Her fingers intertwine behind her, as she speaks again, "I promise, I do, Sasuke-kun. And, I think, this is the best opportunity to build bonds with the others."
Sasuke-kun, she begins in her head, may put up an effortless disliking towards anyone, but a lot of their classmates really admire him. Naruto's unambiguous action towards him is an example of that, that is why he probably challenged him. A prize that could be willingly paid in exchange for an acknowledgement.
And yet, maybe, Sasuke-kun just didn't know that. Maybe, he just didn't realize that yet. Maybe—
Maybe she only needs to be more understanding.
And kindhearted.
For him to realize of what he's capable of.
Because, Sasuke-kun...
Sasuke-kun, seems to be the type that takes things to the heart.
Her thought dwells to the idea of wanting to be friends with him someday.
x.
"Do you have Sasuke-kun's cellphone number?"
"I don't have it."
"Well..." a pause, "how about his home address? I sure hope you have them at least."
She mildly shakes her head. "I play tag with him when we were in elementary, but that doesn't mean that I have to memorize his home address too." She says, consoling them with a small smile thereafter. "That's too much effort, I guess." She mutters.
"Aw, bummer." One of them says, throwing dirty looks towards where the pink haired is standing.
"I bet, she just didn't want us to know it." Sakura hears them, not that she's trying to but that's just too loud not to hear. "Girls like her has motives." They say, before they depart off.
Ironically, even if Sasuke-kun has never entertained any possible suitors, not that he has paid sincere attention to it, he's still the number one walking magnet for any unwanted attentions on the campus. Middle school is the beginning of his peak, as what Ino would say to her. It's when puberty is starting to do its job, and for Sasuke-kun, it seems well accounted for his part.
He is right up an in demand product on the market; just like a vice; a morphine; epitomizes the characteristically figure of 'Mamura' of the Hirunaka no Ryuusei—whatever he does, girls like him, and guys envy him. It's ridiculous! Even to the point that Sakura has finally compelled herself to get used to this kind of situation.
She just didn't get it.
Perhaps, it has something to do with how Sasuke-kun usually projects himself; he has this mysterious ambiance of scary-but-sweet personality in him.
"Why in the world do they keep on asking you about that, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura didn't have to look over her shoulder to see who it is. She just sighs in defeat.
"That jerk! Can't help it, eh? If he's a freak?" He says, putting his hands on the back of his head.
"He's not a freak, Naruto," counters Sakura.
"Yeah, yeah." He mollifies. "Those girls just didn't know what cool really mean is, huh? Sasuke is far from it."
"And what are you? Embodiment of stupidity?"
Sakura glances around upon that comeback, and sees a certain raven haired strolling down to where they are. He seems to have heard what they're talking about.
With his one hand shoved inside his pocket, Sasuke-kun, as usual, exhibits an air of calm indifference around him.
She has heard Naruto immediately retorts: "what the hell did you say, jerk?" And, ignores it.
She shakes her head, as waves of memories immediately floods her. Sometimes, it warms her heart to know that her efforts are slowly, and eventually paying off. The last time she could remember though, she's just nonetheless a classmate of his, whose name for him is hard to memorize. Sometimes, when she thinks about it, Capulet is the only redeeming role that she could get for her to be closer with him, after all, it will not turn into a perfect story, if real life Montage wouldn't play his role very well.
"Thanks for not telling them my phone number, Sakura."
She looks at him, and sighs. "That's a tough one, seriously."
"That's why I owe you one."
Being friends with Sasuke-kun has its own perks, but sometimes it takes a lot more of courage to stand on the ground with him. She'd talk about Sasuke-kun to her mother, and she'd get a few life lessons—that if she were sincere enough to be friends with him from the beginning, then why would she choose to give up now?
"Sasuke-kun you are such a living magnet! Couldn't you do something about that?"
"Sakura-chan, how is he better than me? He's a natural living magnet for troubles. See, those girls despise you now? It's because of Sasuke-jerk."
"Naruto, I never said he's better than you. You basically just complimented him yourself." Sakura deadpans.
Sasuke smirks. "Couldn't help to say the obvious, idiot?" He gives the blond a sideway glance, as if he's completely amused by him.
"Asshole. You're making Sakura-chan's life miserable."
He shoots Sakura a look, before he finds the words to speak again. "Shut up, idiot. Your blatant display of jealousy doesn't entitle you to act immaturely in front of Sakura."
The blond sneers in disbelief. "Who cares about those fans of yours? At least I'm stick to one."
Tempting to retort back onto that, Sakura could've only settled down with a roll of her eyes, as she reads through that line. Hinata.
If efforts really had paid off, then she'd be more than willingly say that she's proud of herself. Courage, kindness—that's all it takes for her to realize that, Sasuke-kun, no matter how difficult it is to approach him, has always been worth the effort.
She finally understands why Futaba-chan never gives up on Tanaka-kun.
x.
"Isn't this cute, Sasuke-kun? I like the color."
"Hn."
Sakura ignores the continuous bouncing of the ball that echoes throughout the court, as she speaks to him.
"Ino-chan says it's too cute for me. I think not though," she shrugs. The Uchiha heartthrob stops a second in front of her, and looks at the green ribbon clip on the side of her head. Sakura glances up at him, lips curving into a playful smile. "It's pretty, isn't it?"
He shrugs, and runs off the court aiming for a clean three point shot.
Sakura huffs, stomping her right foot onto the court. Seriously, she thinks.
It has always been like this ever since they entered junior high. She just couldn't understand it, and knowing Sasuke, who is very unwilling to discuss this sort of things even if it's his problem in the first place, doesn't offer any solace to her. He is always mad, or irritated onto something that she couldn't pinpoint what.
She remembers most fondly the days in the park on the swing where she tells him stories about her day on the train. There was this guy from a different school that made an introduction about himself by having minimal conversation with her about the weather, and sort of stuff. Although she may excel academically, there are times, as how Sasuke would usually put it, that she may comes off purely naïve to some matters especially talking to a stranger. Especially talking to a guy stranger.
Sakura is no newbie to ulterior motives, she knows one when she sees one. But when it comes to Sasuke, everything just seem to fall down all over the places; everything about him is confusing.
It is as if whenever she would bring up the subject that an acquaintance from the other school gave her a cellphone keychain as a congratulatory gift for bagging the gold medal for regional science quiz bee last term, he'd suddenly not in the mood for anything else. His defense? It has been a year since she bagged it, why now?
Sasuke-kun excels in math, that's why figuring him out eventually becomes doing exactly the maths. He's so unpredictable, she thinks. It isn't like the guy likes her anyway, she comes into her defense.
Ino-chan says she's beginning to look as if puberty has finally found its purpose. Sakura isn't exactly sure if that is considered to be a compliment or not. After all, she has just learned how to put on some lip gloss on her lips. She has also learned to neatly iron her school uniform ribbon; asked her mother to teach her on how to, so that she could handle herself more in the future.
Those were all the changes that has happened to her, and to be completely honest about it, even those are not passable as some great changes to her—she's still her, no matter what. That won't change.
But for some reason that she couldn't fathom, Sasuke, oh her dearest best friend—Sasuke, somehow appears to be more intimidating than usual.
Maybe, it's the puberty too?
Maybe, he is just like that?
Or maybe, just maybe—
She doesn't want to dwell on that whim. He doesn't see her that way, of course.
Of course.
One thing is for certain, she just couldn't understand why the whole student body became so remotely distant to her.
Or, maybe to Sasuke?
"Why are you doing this?"
If he has heard her, he doesn't bother to answer.
"Why are you acting like this, Sasuke-kun?" Continues her. Pale auburn brows meet halfway through glabella out of her frustration.
Sasuke, being Sasuke, only casts her a glance, choosing not answer on that. Sakura watches in silence as he begins to pant for some air, the ball that he's been holding was pinned against his side, and arm.
He wets his lips. "You don't know why?" He says, heaving for air.
"I don't know why." She glares at him. For so long that they've been together, Sakura had finally learned the trick on that glare: simple, just give it back to him in doubled.
He sighs. "Never mind." He says, running down to the empty court—a ball on his hand.
"Don't ignore me, when I'm talking to you, Sasuke-kun!"
"I'm listening."
"Well then, why don't you stand here, and tell me. What are you telling people? Why are you scaring them away?"
"Have I not been this intimidating before? You've said it so yourself."
Sakura immediately blushes, after that smooth reply. "W-well, you've always been, Sasuke-kun! But I cannot see your true motives for this. You've completely became a scary person."
"I'm not scary, Sakura, that's just in your head."
"Then enlighten me."
With a few meters parting them between, he stops right in front of her. "You don't know their true intentions to you, Sakura."
She rolls her eyes. "Just like I don't know yours."
"It's better if you don't find out." He says shortly, as if avoiding the topic.
"See? Friends tell, Sasuke-kun, friends tell. So tell me before it's too late." She tilts to her side to catch a flash of some clues on his eyes, but it turns in vain, when he shrugs, and aims for another three again.
Shoots. A clean shot. As always. He's not the ace of the basketball team for nothing.
"I just don't think they're worthy enough for you," shoots, "they," he pants, "don't," runs, "deserve," shoots, "you."
It doesn't make sense. It really doesn't.
When she thinks about it, Sakura has never ever scared away some of his fangirls—no, in fact, she's rather friendly to some of them. Hell, she has never even interfered with his life when girls flirt with him, or give him chocolates on Valentine's Day. Partly, because Sakura's not like that; she isn't at all bothered by those stuff, so she just lets it be. Granted, Sasuke, and her may be best of friends but it isn't like their lives are involved into some kind of commitment.
And for some reason, she knows Sasuke like the back of her hand. She knows he will put up some steady resistances when it is just a waste of time. Sasuke, if he wanted, has it all offered to him already, but because he exhibits some kind of disinterested personality, Sakura isn't worried a least bit.
But now that it crosses her mind, she has no idea what kind of girl Sasuke-kun would be interested of.
Could it be... Charming? No, no. She's seen enough girls to know that it's not his type.
Spontaneous? Most probably, she guesses, Sasuke-kun is a heedful man, he plays by the rules, very logical in terms of radical decisioning. So most likely, he'd go for this kind of girl, when he sees one. Opposites do attract.
Intelligent sort? Is not doubtful, too. As a matter of fact, it's more of a possible turn than having someone who is spontaneous.
One of a kind? This, this... Is something difficult to discern... and...
She never learned about it. Why? It's because Sasuke refuses to talk about it. And for all the possible reason there is, it's because he is Sasuke.
Wise. Enigmatic.
And always irritated, Sakura laughingly adds into her head. "I swear, you've gotten enough Naruto's way of thinking in your head." She snorts. "Don't you think it's time for you to stop playing online games with him?" She says, laughing.
"He's an idiot, and he spends all his time playing online—" he lays up, shoots the ball, and lands squarely on his feet, "—I don't."
"Well, Sasuke-kun you are still absolutely, without doubt, impossible!" She pauses, Sasuke takes her in. "I don't have anymore friends now." She mumbles underneath her breath, to which Sasuke has unintentionally heard of.
"You have me." He says, after a fadeaway shot.
And as if in trance of realization, he startlingly, quickly adds, "and that loser. You don't really need a lot of people."
For the first time since they met, Sakura could've sworn that, that's the first time she feels her heart beats fast against her chest.
x.
"Not my best day ever," she mutters, pray tell, that he didn't catch that.
"Hey," he says, lifting up her chin to make her look up at him. "Hey," he repeats. "Look at me, please."
"I'm listening, don't worry." She says, eyes darting up somewhere but
him.
He complies in defeat, and gives up.
Sakura looks sideways, avoiding his gaze because, because, if she looks at him, then every pieces that she held on for so long that she could remember will eventually fall off. "I'll be only four hours away from you."
She pouts, refuses to look at his way.
No, she isn't selfish. She's just surprised that's all. It's okay if he leaves her though, maybe that's just fate saying that they're growing adults. Moving forward means going out of his comfort zone.
Stuff like these are the concepts of life, that they have their own lives to live on. It's like opening your eyes to reality.
Besides, Naruto has already moved to Sapporo back when they were in the middle of their junior year.
So, it's not big deal.
And, it isn't like she doesn't have his contact number to call him whenever she misses him, or just wants to call him. It isn't like it's impossible to talk him in the middle of the night, like what they usually do every now and then, to tell him stories about her day; about how the girls in their class still fuss about the new gym clothes—they prefer the old ones; about how their physics teacher never taught them how to derive equilibrium, and torque formulas—good thing she can learn that by herself; about how she wouldn't hear him grunting again for a hundredth time to every out of this world favors that she prettily asks him to do for her; or, how she would never see him playfully roll his eyes, or see the childish smile on his lips whenever she'd cheer him to every basketball leagues that he joins in.
She blinks, once, twice, thrice trying to refrain herself from crying.
"It won't be the same anymore." She whispers to herself, and hears Sasuke sighs in defeat. "And, I have to live up with it."
He turns to look around him, unsure of what to do next, Sasuke fishes for something in his pocket. He hesitates for one second, before he finds the courage to say something.
"Turn around." He says.
Sakura slowly looks up at him, and for a reason he couldn't say, his chest dulls at the sight of her reddened eyes.
She's not crying, and it feels like a hundred times worse than crying at all. "Turn around, Sakura." He breathes in, holding her so he could turn her around.
"Why?" She says. Her back facing him.
He sighs patiently. "Just... stay still."
And she does. Eventually, his arms hover just across her, and a cold necklace were placed down beneath her throat, and around her neck. She tilts her head slightly to look at him. "A necklace, Sasuke-kun? Why are you giving me a necklace? Is there some occasions that I've forgotten about?"
Sasuke's lips slowly unfurl into a small smile, and thank God, she's not fully turned to see it. He connects the telltale clasps, and feels somewhat relieve after doing so.
Still confused at it, Sakura turns around to face him again. "Let's be honest, you've forgotten my birthday, have you? It's not March yet—"
"It's a farewell gift."
The light on her eyes suddenly diminished, after that. Her expression falls down, then all at once, she wants to cry again. "You're... you're not coming back?"
Sasuke's expression softens, as he bashfully shoves his hands into his pockets. "I will. After four years, I will."
"That long?"
He takes a glimpse on the small pendant that he's given to her, as if to prove a point. "That's why you need to wear it." He says, afterwards.
Sakura follows his gaze, her fingers brushing over the cold, circular, metallic silver of red and white that seems to symbolize a very familiar symbol of a certain clan. In that brief seconds after, Sakura's heart lounges to her throat, when realization finally punches in. "An Uchiha pendant?" She gazes back at him. "What for Sasuke-kun? I thought only an Uchiha, like what you said when we were kids, has the right to wear this?" Her eyes wrinkles a tad to the corners, as though to tease him. "What could be the reason for a change of heart?"
"No." He says, deadpan. How dare she carelessly questions his motives just like that? "No." He repeats, feeling his heart beats so fast against his chest. "Changing of rules is impossible, it's for people to be careful of you."
"Ha!" Sparks from that, her mischievous reaction returns. "What are you trying say?"
"Go figure it out, noob." He flicks her forehead, and smirks at her.
"Stop doing that. I swear, if you leave a mark, I will hit you."
His smirk widens even more. "It's worth the cost, Sakura. Don't be dense." He says, burying his free hand into his pocket again.
She playfully sticks out a tongue at him, and she replies thereafter. "That's being very careful, Sasuke-kun. But you have to promise me that you'll visit me here."
Sasuke, lost for a moment, watches how Sakura brushes her finger across the surface of the pendant. He doesn't know why, and how such thing even considered close to nothingness could nearly take his breath away. He clears his throat after Sakura snaps two fingers across him.
"No, I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I will be very busy."
She crosses her arms across her chest. "To the point that you won't have time for your best friend?"
"It's not like that, Sakura."
She stares at him for one breathless moment, as if the ache on her chest hasn't eased yet; as if his eyes were the brightest midnight skies she's seen in her life; as if, as if, everything at that moment feels somewhat wonderfully right for it to end so soon.
Sasuke-kun, she begins in her head—
"Just kidding,"
—you may not know about this, but—she stops midway, finding the words.
"If you can't promise me that, then take me with you?" She grins.
"No."
"Please, please, please? For once, I want to walk down the Shibuya crossing, and watch a drag race of Lamborghini cars, and wear sailor moon uniforms, and, and—"
"You will never get tire of watching Tokyo Drift, are you?" He squeezes her cheeks with his palms. "That was a movie, Haruno-san."
"Like you know better—stop smirking, Sasuke-kun!"
"And for a hundredth time, you will stay here."
Disappointment instantly falls upon her, but because she is Sakura, she would never allow a single tear to fall down on her cheeks. So with a sniff, she grins at him. It's almost time for his departure anyway, and it's not good to leave the town knowing that someone, somewhere out there is crying their hearts out for you—it's not good.
It's not good, she reminds herself. No more dramas. No more sad endings. No more crying, as she didn't want to trouble Sasuke-kun.
She squints her eyes, and blinks several more times before she looks up at him. Upon doing so, Sakura meets two fingers on her forehead.
"Maybe next time."
And then, he smiles.
With such a momentous lost of breath, she finally finds the words she wanted to say to him ever since.
She finally understands that for so long that they've been together ever since kindergarten, that Sasuke-kun is really, really different from the others. He is special, kind, and the warmth on her chest. It doesn't matter what people perceives him to be. It doesn't matter, because he is Sasuke-kun; he is scary, intimidating, aloof, indifferent, yet, yet, he will always have a special place in her heart.
It may be a huge portion of it that he occupies, or the fragments of it—whichever it is, it wouldn't matter anymore, as she has finally knew what to say next to him.
"Sasuke-kun, I—"
"Sasuke! Let's go! We're leaving."
He glances over to his mom, "one second," and looks back at Sakura with anticipation. "What is it?"
She smiles.
"I..."
There are crossroads on his eyes; a shift of decision; a waiting underneath the rain; and an almost hopeful happy ending to the corners of it—she hesitates, "I... just... no, no, never mind, just go ahead. Have a safe trip."
His shoulders relax, his face softens. "Are- are you sure?"
That's the first time she hears him stammers, so she swallows the thought.
"Yes, I'm sure."
She could feel his movement slowly closing the distance parting between them; his soft breathing; his hairbreadth lips touching her forehead, and his hands on her face, before she loses in the moment, he stops halfway through, "I'll see you soon." He whispers to her.
No matter how much she has finally found those words she's been looking for, maybe next time is their always.
And, maybe next time, is where she would finally have the courage to say it.
But until then, she is happy that they become best friends.
She looks at his retreating figure.
"He almost kiss me."
.
fin.
(a/n: rewritten, and disclaimed.)