There are some days she thinks she's had enough.
She's not as fast as she used to be, her feet hurt, her joints ache, and her back throbs. Some days she doesn't want to come in to work, staying in bed and nursing all of her aches and pains sounds better to her than spending twelve hours on her feet.
Her family tells her it's time to take her leave.
She should listen to them. She should, but she finds more excuses to stay.
She's done this for forty-three years. Forty-three years and she's seen people come and go. She's seen tragedy and heart break along with miracles and moments of sheer joy.
Forty-three years and she still loves it, regardless of how her body feels.
She remembers the first baby she held in her hands…it wasn't her own, she wasn't ready for that, but she remembers everything from that first baby. The doctor had handed the tiny squirming thing to her, he was already red faced and proving his lungs worked, even without her having cleaned the airways. She remembers how he calmed after she had wiped him down and wrapped him in a thin blue hospital blanket. The joy that graced his mother's face as she handed him to her is a memory she replays often and it still feels like yesterday.
It was that moment she knew her choice to become a labor and delivery nurse had been the right one.
She remembers the first husband who fell backward to the floor after the first push his wife gave; he laid there until his screaming daughter came into the world. She remembers running into the stairwell and sobbing until there was nothing left inside of her when she watched as a mother and father said goodbye to their infant before she had even taken her first breath. Her heart breaking for them, her own chest crushing inside as the husband held his wife while she stared down into the face of the child that would never live the dreams her parents had for her.
Those days happen, those days are the ones where she would walk away without looking back. Even forty-two years ago when she watched those parents say good-bye, she was ready to find another specialty. Those days never get easier, but the good days, the good ones are what she lives for and never wants to say goodbye to.
She's thankful for the hospital administration, members who weren't even around when she was hired, who she's watched rise in the ranks since they started. They respect her, love how dedicated she is to her patients. They've asked her when she's retiring, they've not pushed her into decisions she isn't ready to make.
She loves her job.
She's been there an hour and a half, feet hurting, joints aching and back throbbing, when they come in. She's seen this scene many times. Mommy's in a wheelchair, daddy is pushing her but really looks like he's the one who needs the help. He looks disheveled and his breathing is a bit erratic.
They stop at the desk in front of them, "My wife, my wife is in labor," he says to the receptionist.
"Alright, sir, we'll need you to fill out these forms, unless you've already preregistered," she hears Jeanie tell him.
"We did…did that last week, right?" she watches as the husband turns nodding to the wife.
"Yes, honey, we did," mom answers calmly.
"Okay, name?" Jeanie asks.
"Kate, Kate Castle."
Jeanie does some typing, finds the correct information she needs. "Oh, yes here we are, let's get you all settled in Mrs. Castle."
After forty-three years she knows that that's her cue.
"I'll take it from here, Jeanie," she tells the receptionist.
"Alright, Mrs. Castle this is your lucky day in more than one way, this is Cora, and she will show you to your birthing suite, she'll also be taking care of you for the day," Jeanie tells them with a smile.
"Mr. Castle, would you like me to take over here?" Cora asks motioning to the handles on the wheel chair.
"Sure," he says after thinking for a moment. He doesn't go far though. He reaches for his wife's hand and walks beside her down the corridor leading to their room.
She parks the chair at the foot of the bed, locking it in place; he's already helping her to her feet.
"Mrs. Castle, I'm going to ask you to put this gown on, if you don't mind, we'll have to do a quick exam to see how far your labor is progressing." Cora tells them with a smile.
"Kate, please call me Kate and this is Rick," she says, breathing a little quicker than before.
"You're having a contraction right now aren't you, Kate?"
"Oh, God, yes...It's, it's a bit stronger than the last one." Kate answers her, leaning into her husband holding one of his hands while he rubs her back with the other.
"Keep breathing like you are Kate, you're doing great," Rick tells her.
"He's right; you're doing a great job, Kate," Cora encourages.
The contraction passes, Kate changes into the hospital gown Cora had given her when they had first entered the birthing room and they've already assessed the progression of her labor.
"Kate, it looks like you're at three centimeters, is this your first?" Cora asks.
"My first yes, I have a step-daughter, Ricks from a previous marriage."
"Great, so you're old hat at this huh, Rick?" Cora asks him with a smile on her face.
Kate laughs lightly, "Yeah, that's why he looks like he's going to pass out any moment."
Cora laughs along with her, she likes these two. They're comfortable with one another and not afraid to give the other a hard time…At least not mom. But she thinks dad quite enjoys the ribbing he's receiving from his wife.
She gets the feeling that Rick just basks in his wife's attention.
"Thanks honey. Actually, Cora, Alexis is twenty-two, so it's been a while for me," he answers.
"Well, everything looks like its progressing just fine, I'm going to be leaving you two to your own devices, and you just call me anytime you need anything, like an epidural," she says winking at Kate. "I'm right down the hall."
She leaves them as Rick presses his lips to his wife's temple, devotion pouring from him.
It's an hour later when Cora checks on Kate.
"So Kate, how are you doing?"
Her patient is breathing hard, husband watching over her while she works through the contraction.
"Fifth one since you left," Rick tells her, reaching for ice chips on the tray next to the bed.
"You okay, baby?" He asks Kate.
"Okay…wow that was a bit stronger, shew."
Cora glances at the print offs from the monitor strapped to Kate's stomach, "It does look like that one spiked higher than the previous contractions. Kate, you ready for some meds?"
"No, no…no, I want to do this without it, just me."
Cora smiles, she can see the determination in her patient's eyes. "Alright then Kate, let's see how you're doing."
She's learned not to ask if the husband wants to step out of the room while she does the exam, those who prefer to not be present would have already left the room by now. She doesn't think that Rick is even the type to leave his wife's side for any other reason than Kate asked him to.
"You ready to call everyone?" she hears Rick ask Kate.
"No, not yet, I'd like to make sure they aren't waiting around here for hours, they can wait till Castle Jr. shows up…or at least, definitely close to being on the way."
"Well, you are half way there, five centimeters Kate, moving and moving along nicely."
"Halfway! Did you hear that, Kate?" Castle says, pressing a smiling kiss his wife's temple.
Cora gets the feeling Kate is going to have two kids on her hands. From the smile she watches Kate give him she thinks Kate knows that as well.
"I know it may be hard, but try and get some rest, if you can. And remember, call me for anything."
Three hours later and Kate is only at six centimeters, she can feel the exhaustion pouring from her patient.
"Kate, honey, it's been about five hours, you still okay?" Cora asks, coming up to the side of the bed, rubbing Kate's shoulder.
"Still okay…haven't…haven't changed my mind…about the meds."
She watches Rick wipe his wife's face down with a cool cloth. Kate closes her eyes as her husband's ministrations lull her to a light slumber.
"She's a tough one, huh?"
"You have no idea," Rick answers with a laugh.
"The sleep is good for her," she whispers, "best to let her rest as long as possible. First time labor can last hours."
"I do remember that, I'll make sure she rests as much as possible."
"Alright, Rick, I'm going to run to check on another patient, but remember I'm here anytime."