It was a dark, damp night and the rain thrashed against my window. Along with the rain dribbling down the single glass pane of glass my troubles washed away, as I plummeted into a deep unconscious sleep. I knew that eventually I would wake up and the thoughts that plagued my mind before would again flood back into my memory. But still I slept there, I just lay down and let the distraught weather batter at my previously damaged soul.

As I had predicted, only too soon I woke and that's when it hit me like a train head on. The date, him leaving, getting stupid drunk with my cowboy gay best friend in Berry then my album hitting number one! The last bit surely I could have been happy about but how could I be happy when the one person I really needed to thank and to share this with wasn't there.

I had been mopping about in Chrome Cat for nearly 3 days. My cell possessed 102 messages, 100 from Darius and 2 from Sadie glad to know where the support is family or work mmmmm lets take a guess! I couldn't face the outside world because I knew they were expecting a bouncy excitable version of my self that I was regrettably unable to earth. If I were to venture from my current bindings I knew I would be faced with questions, but the only person who could answer them had disappeared.

"Jude," Sadie yelled as she entered the apartment above me. I sat in silence as her patrolling footsteps shook the floorboards beneath her. I didn't need her sympathy vote and I certainly didn't need her take on Tommy. She doesn't know him like I do!

"God, Jude there you are!" and there she was in her blonde and manicured glory clutching a pink purse and reapplying her lip gloss. "Jude, you can hide away forever you know!" her patronising tone sliced at my heart. "Wanna bet Barbie?" She just turned on her heal and made her way to the door, "Oh, and Jude, you should get over him, he's just a producer!" And that right there was my breaking point. I leapt of the floor and lunged towards the door, "No Sadie, you don't get to say that, I can't hear that! You don't know him like I do, I..I..I love him" I crumpled to the floor and Sadie went with me. I couldn't take it anymore someone had to know!