Chapter 1
***Gracie's POV***
I came to live with my brother when I was fourteen, after our parents died. My brother is the SAA of the mother charter of SOA, SAMCRO to be exact. I have the same light skin, dark hair and bright blue eyes that my brother has. Only thing, is that I also inherited my mother's figure. Being only five feet tall and being a little on the thick side, with long brown hair. At 23 years old, I work in the office at Teller Morrow so that I can stay close to the club but it's not like I would rather be anywhere else. I still live in the same house with my brother but he's at the clubhouse most nights. I am pretty close to everyone in the club and my two best friends are Jax and Opie. Jax was destroyed after his high school sweetheart, Tara, took off and Opie has his wife and kids so that pretty much leaves me alone. Jax married a club whore named Wendy but seems he's the only one that doesn't see that she is a junkie and now, she's pregnant.
I have been seeing this guy named Chris. Well, hanging out with. We don't go anywhere but my house. He hangs out, we make out but I haven't slept with him. He won't come to any club parties with me and he won't invite me to hang with his friends. I have never even met his friends. He keeps telling me things like "You would be so much prettier if you lost a little weight." or if I go to eat something he says things like "Are you sure you need that?" When I tell him that I am going to the clubhouse with my brother he says things like "Do you really think you should be spending time with them? Really?" Two months in and I have pretty much resigned myself to only going to work and coming home. Chris isn't physically abusive but I know this is still abuse. But who else is going to want me? Chris tells me everyday that I should be happy that someone like him cares enough to spend time with me because no one else wants to see someone my size.
Sitting at the desk in the office, Jax comes in. "You coming to the party tonight?" he asked. "No. I don't think so." I tell him. "You haven't been to a party in months. Come on. Come hang with us." he says, smirking. "Nah. Watching you try to get laid all night isn't my idea of a good time." I tell him. "No trying to it Darlin." he says before walking back to the garage. I just roll my eyes. Gemma walks in "Hey baby. How's it been?" she asked. "Good Gemma. A little slow but good." I tell her. "Good. You coming to the party tonight?" she asked. "Nope. Hanging at home." I tell her. "That boyfriend of yours coming over?" she asked. "Nah, he's got plans with his friends." I tell her. "You not going?" she asked. "No. I don't really hang out with him and his friends." I tell her. "Gracie, when was the last you were out of the house other than coming to work and dinners at the house?" she asked. I just shrugged my shoulder and looked back at the invoices I was working on. "Come to the party tonight." she tells me. "I better not. Plus, seeing these guys hooking up on the couches isn't my idea of a good time." I tell her. "No, seeing my son like that isn't your idea of a good time." she tells me and my head snaps up. "Gemma, we're just friends." I tell her. "Bull shit. I see how you look at him and you would be better for him than that junkie whore." she tells me. "Doesn't matter Gemma. She's the one that has him. It won't ever happen anyway so drop it please?" I almost beg. "Fine. For now." she tells me.
It's time to close the shop up and my brother comes in the office. "Hey Gracie, you headed home?" he asked. "Yeah. You need anything?" I asked. "Nah. Just letting you know I'll probably crash here tonight." he says. "Okay Tig. I won't wait up." I tell him before grabbing my things. Walking to my car, Jax sees me and calls my name. "Gracie. Wait up." he says. I stop and wait on him to get to me and he says "Why don't you come hang out for a while?" he asked. "I'm just gonna head home." I tell him. "You sure? We miss your ass around here." he tells me. "Yeah, like you guys can take your eyes off the croweaters long enough to realize I'm here. Go have fun Teller. See you later." I say before turning and heading to the car.
I get home and see that the lights are on. Walking in the door, I see Chris sitting on my couch. He must have used the spare key. Seeing it on the coffee table, I see I was right. "What are you doing here? Thought you had plans?" I asked. "I do but I wanted to talk to you a minute." he says. "Okay. What's up?" I asked. "I can't do this anymore." he starts. "What?" I asked. "This." he says motioning between us. "I can't be with you anymore. I need someone that I can take out and show off. I can't do that with you. I just wanted to do this in person. I'm sorry." he says before walking out the door and not waiting on a response. I sat down on the couch and started crying. After a little bit, I went to the kitchen and found Tig's pill stash and a bottle of Jack. Sitting down on the couch, I start drinking. Looking at the pills, trying to decide what I want to do. A few hours later, I am one bottle in and stumble to the kitchen for another. Sitting down with the fresh bottle, I look at the pills again and say "Fuck it." I pick up one and then another and then another. After taking four sleeping pills and the amount of alcohol in my system, I fade into darkness.
I wake up and see bright lights and hear beeping. Opening my eyes, I see my brother sitting next to my bed. "Alex." I whisper. He hears me and moves closer to me. "Shit Gracie. You're awake." he says, relief clear in his voice. "Where am I?" I asked. "St Thomas. I found you out cold, barely breathing. What the fuck happened?" he asked me, more concerned than pissed. "Nothing." I say, trying to sit up a little. "Nothing? That's all you have to say is nothing?" Tig was getting pissed. Before I could say anything, Gemma steps in. "Tiggy, why don't you let us have a little mother/daughter chat." she says. He nods and steps out the door. "What happened baby?" she asked me. She's been like a mom to me since I moved in with my brother and I have always been able to talk to her. "Chris broke things off. Said that he needed someone he can take out and show off." I tell her. "Baby, you think that's a good reason to try to kill yourself?" she asked concerned. "Doesn't matter. Can't even do that right. I just want to be left alone." I tell her. "Well, they are keeping you for seventy-two hours for observation now that you are awake so you have time to think." she tells me. Next thing I see is Jax walking into the room. Gemma gets up and heads outside to fill my brother in, no doubt. "How are you feeling?" Jax asks. I don't say anything. He sits on the side of my bed and takes my hand. "Why did you do it?" he asked. "Nothing for you to worry about." I say to him. It's what he always says to me when he doesn't want me to know something. "You know you can talk to me right?" he asked. "No. I can't. You got your own shit to handle. Let me handle mine." I tell him. He just nods. Standing up, he kisses the top of my head and says "Love you kid." before walking out the door. Kid. Yeah. I'm the same age as him and he will always only see me as a fucking kid. That makes shit better.
My brother walk back into the room. "Hey." he says simply. "Hey." I say back. "You did this because if that prick?" he asked softly. "Don't, Tig. Just don't. Please." I almost beg. "You are all I have left. You can't leave me." he tells me. "I just want to be left alone Alex. I can't handle this shit anymore." he tells me. "You know we all love you right?" He asked. "Yeah. I know. But it's not just Chris." I tell him. "You love him don't you?" he asked and I know who he's talking about. "Yeah but it won't ever happen. Just leave it be okay?" I say and he nods. "Get some rest. I gotta head to the clubhouse." he tells me before kissing my cheek and walking out as Gemma walks back in.