Chapter 1
Location: Earth, the underground labyrinth of silver tendrils and flashing alien monitors composing Irken Zim's base.
Time: 4am, the Irken's favourite time to conduct his grisly, misanthropic experiments. It was at this point that his metal minion was hibernating, replaying videos of Sylvestrian puppies being launched into orbit to himself.
Plan: to complete his new and improved 'wormhole grenade'. This spawn of Zim's twisted genius would allow the Irken to steal the humans' disgusting moon and return it only on the condition that he was appointed almighty, beautiful god-emperor of all life on Earth.
"The Wormhole grenade of ultimate doom 3000 is complete!" Zim exclaimed, as he carefully lifted a small silvery orb from the work bench. "Yet more evidence that Zim is wonderful, fantastic and tall" he whispered excitedly as he stroked the moon-stealing tool with a gloved claw.
Satisfied with his work he quickly but carefully placed down the device and rushed out of the base on his spindly PAK legs- looking to prepare a ham sandwich which he had acquired an intense craving for.
Unbeknownst to Zim his insane robot had awoken and decided to, as GIR put it: 'kiss the wobbly tube people'. A terrifying ritual in which he would walk throughout the base kissing the container tubes of Zim's liquefied specimens (the majority of which were simply new kids from the skool.)
As GIR followed his usual route through the winding alien corridors he quickly entered the 'genius invention room of Zim's genius' where a vast monitor displayed the paused video 'how to make mass destruction beautiful' by Vortian military facility 202. GIR's blue luminescent eyes were immediately drawn to the wormhole grenade sitting at the forefront of Zim's most recent projects.
"Ohhhhh- that so shiny! AND TASTY!" GIR screamed as he ran over to the work bench "WHERE MY SAUCE?!" he screamed again as the top of his cylindrical head opened and a gross mixture of ketchup, mayonnaise and BBQ sauce oozed out covering the orb.
A few moments later Zim returned to the chamber, disappointed that all the ham had been stuffed into the walls of the fake house by GIR in order to 'keep out the bad ju-ju'. Here he saw GIR sitting in the centre of the room, head still open, looking brainless. "Master I'm reeeeeeeal sorry I ate the Christmas bauble and now I feel so much guilt and I'm super hungry like soooooooo hungry. I WANT HAM! YOU GOT ANY HAM?!" "GIR! You just consumed one of the most impressive feats of engineering in the history of feats of engineering!" Zim bellowed, his arms flailing wildly. "To the dreaded Zim theatre of surgery with you! Where I can remove my masterpiece from your disgusting belly!" Zim begins to march in classic Irken style towards a nearby transport pod "But I need to eat! My Stomach's a growling real good!"
Zim stopped mid-goosestep to contemplate "I suppose the grenade was triggered within your stomach and the wormhole is transporting any food that enters your putrid, SHORT body into some distant point in the universe... You will experience an eternal hunger of unending doom!" Zim concluded. GIR stayed perfectly still for a moment before screaming again "Dat's cool! Guess I'm gonna go eat some children now"
GIR initiated his propulsion system and rocketed through the air, leaving a trail of the sauce abomination in his wake. A distant crash could be heard as he penetrated through the tall ceiling of the chamber in his search for human flesh. "NOO!" exclaimed Zim, "THE TERRIBLE FEAST OF THE GIR HAS BEGUN!"