"Idjit" the word reminded them of happier times with a man they once knew, now the word brings only sorrow to mind. Each man remembered different aspects of the fallen man, each man also shared memories that will keep them glued together a while longer. The golden four were now down to a duo, death had taken half of Team Free Will.
Sam and Dean respected their fallen friend far too much to send him off with anything other than a traditional hunters funeral. No matter how much Dean tried, he just couldn't bring himself to ignite the flame that would seal the deal, that would mean the point of no return. Dean knew deep in his heart that Bobby was not coming back, he knew that the hunter had taken one too many hits to raise up once more. Dean was unaware that he was doing the one thing he tried never to do, Dean Winchester was clinging to hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe, Bobby would come back to retrieve his body from Death's grip.
"You're not going anywhere!" Alistair yelled into the emptiness that surrounded Dean. Alistair grabbed Dean by the arm and tried to hide him from whatever was dumb enough to enter Hell willingly. Dean knew he would be better off asking what was going on, though he was to weak, both physically and emotionally, to truly care. No matter where Alistair went the bright light followed him, the light blinded Dean so he kept his eyes closed as he allowed the demon to take him somewhere new, away from the eternal light. Alistair could take Dean anywhere in Hell his demonic heart desired, the bright light was coming for Dean and it seemed that nothing would keep him from getting his light's rays from engulfing Dean. Alistair was relentless though, nothing would allow his favorite student to leave his classroom. He tried to flee, he tried to run, but the bright light was faster. Dean felt a hand grip his shoulder seconds before he was pulled out. Out of Alistair's grasp, out of the nothingness, out of Hell. He dared not open his eyes for fear that this being would take him to a more horrific place. If time was going by, Dean couldn't tell. He couldn't tell you how long it took, seconds, hours, days, weeks Dean could guess, but not tell for sure when he finally opened his eyes again. It was dark, and he was trapped. For a moment he thought this was a place worse than Hell. After a few tries Dean figured out a plan to escape the thing that encased him. A few minutes passed before Dean was out and able to breathe fresh air once more. He opened his eyes to see a blue sky with the sun shining high.
That was how Dean had done it, that was how Dean came back to his body after proclaimed dead. That memory of defying all laws is all that was keeping him from giving up hope. That hope was all that was keeping him from losing his mind.
Sam, on the other hand, found comfort in the fact that Bobby was dead. Though the thought of never seeing Bobby again, never hearing him calling him an "idjit", or saying "balls" pained his heart, he knew that Bobby was finally at peace, and that was something Bobby deserved more than anything. Sam Winchester spent many times at Bobby's house, it was really the only stable roof he had over his head growing up, besides the Impala. Sam took joy knowing that Bobby was free from the life, he took joy knowing that he could finally follow his wife in the journey she took many years before into the afterlife. Heaven was a place Bobby could drink until his hearts delight had had enough, and never get drunk. A place Bobby could reunite with all those who left him behind over the years. Heaven, Sam knew, was the only place he could ever truly be at peace, be eternally happy. It was that knowledge that allowed Sam to find comfort in his dear old friends death.
Knowing the positives in his death didn't stop all the negatives to seep into Sam's mind. He did his best to block out the thought of Bobby becoming a vengeful spirit in an attempt to get revenge on Dick for putting the bullet in his brain that took him down. The mere thought of having Bobby worry about him made Sam's skin crawl. He knew Bobby would never leave well enough alone, 'he never did when he was living why should he now?' Sam thought. No matter how hard Sam tried, he could never truly convince his mind that Bobby was okay. It was moments when the painful aspects of his death overtook his mind that Sam Winchester lost control and allowed his emotions to be reveled to the world. The tears where overwhelming, the gaping hole in his chest to painful for him to handle. It was in those moments that Sam tried to contact Bobby, tried to make everything okay.
Sam and Dean Winchester has Bobby's body placed on the platform of wood, they had the salt scattered all around his body, the fluid had been splashed everywhere, all that was needed was the fire to ignite the flames that would eternally lay Bobby to rest. Dean held the flint in his hands, no matter how hard he tried to send his second father away peacefully, Dean could not do it. His emotions won the internal battle he had been fighting since the day in the hospital Bobby took his last breath. "Idjits" was the last thing either of the boys had heard Bobby Singer say before death took him away.
"Sammy" Dean's voice was broken, he sounded defeated. "Sammy." Dean said again. "Sammy I can't." Tears rolled down his face. "I can't do it Sammy." he was having a hard time breathing. "Sammy please don't make me burn him. I d-don't think-think I-I can do i-it." he was stuttering, and Dean Winchester never stuttered. His knees were weak, and they gave out. He feel to the ground, flint held tightly in his hand. Never before has Sam ever seen his older brother so broken, so venerable. Dean has seen a lot, has been through a lot, yet he has never broken. The death of his fatherly figure, his role-model, his teacher, his rock, his friend was too much to handle.
The sight Sam saw before him, of his broken brother was the site that broke him. Bobby was gone, he had been dealing with it bit by bit, but he hadn't realized just how much it had been affecting Dean. Sam had always known his relationship with Bobby was a strong one, but it was not as strong as the relationship Bobby shared with Dean. Bobby had given Dean the simplest parts of his childhood, the most normal parts. Bobby tried to involve Sam as much as he could, but even at age five Sam could see how much those moments meant to his brother, and he didn't want to take his special moments away from him.
"Dean." said Sam, kneeling down next to his broken brother. "It's okay, you don't have to do this." When no responds was given Sam gently took the flint out of his brothers hand. Normally Dean would fight and say "no Sammy, I have to do this" and then he would stand up and fulfill the action at hand, but when Dean just sat there without fighting, Sam knew his world was shattered beyond repair. Sam left his kneeling position and changed into a squatting position. "Come here" he said as he gently pulled him in for a long awaited hug. Sam was not surprised when the hug came without a fight. There they sat quietly for a few minutes before Sam broke the silence. "Are you sure you don't wanna do it?" asked Sam, his only responds was more tears soaking into his flannel shirt. Dean was shacking wildly in his arms, he was gasping for air. Sam hated seeing him like this, but he also knew that he had to allow those tears to fall before they were hidden behind the wall that would soon be built around the subject of Bobby. "okay" whispered Sam. He looked up at the corpse that broke the man in his arms. "Goodbye Bobby. Thanks for everything you sacrificed for us. You'll never truly understand how much you mean to us. Rest in peace old friend. Say 'hi' to everyone for us. Please Bobby, please wait for us to join you, and don't be mad when we arrive older than you." that last bit got a small laugh out of Dean. "Rest in peace Bobby, enjoy eternity with you wife." Sam took one last breath before he opened the flint and tossed it onto the body before him.
The smell was immediate, it was horrific and familiar. The heat of the flames only made the sobbing man in his arms cringe more. The brothers switched their usual roles on this one. Sam never did understand how hard it was to be strong for someone when everything you do reminds you of how broken you are. He gained a new amount of respect for his brother. He pulled him in tighter and the two of them stayed like that long after the flames died down due to lack of fuel. Dean fell asleep in his brothers arms, and in that moment the harsh truth hit Sam like a smack in the face. Things were never going to be the same, but one thing was for sure. They would always remember Bobby Singer as the hero he was.