'…but how about a Renaissance PLANET?' The Doctor exclaimed with substantially more pride than was normal for such a statement.
'Huh?' said Bill, barely registering him over BBC News on her phone.
'You said you'd never been to a Renaissance Festival?' He looked over, puzzled.
There was a pause as Bill stared down at him, 'That was 9 months ago! That was before the space Victorians, before Monks took over the world. Bloody hell! That was before the Planet of the Killer Emojis!'
'Well, I've been thinking about it…' He defended.
'And?'
'We're here! Etruscia! Human colony built to honour the loss of Florence in 4468. The most luxurious, eccentric and exciting place in this Galaxy.' He boasted.
'Which is?' Bill asked.
'What?'
'What Galaxy are we in?'
'Well, it's not as if you'll have heard of it, Dwingeloo 1 if you must know, although it was discovered only 3 years after your birth so frankly, while typical, it's shocking that you haven't. It orbits the galaxy Maffei 1, which holds some of the oldest most metal rich stars in the Cassiopeia constellation, it. And we're in orbit around Inmotia 117, 93 exametres from your home and flying away from it at 925,200 km/h.'
'That's almost 10 million light years!' Bill replied.
'Calculator on your phone is there?' The Doctor condescended.
'No but there's a girl who's seen enough Star Trek to know the conversions on it, I'm not just a pretty face.'
'A what?' He smiled.
Bill laughed at him derisively, finally slipping her phone back into the breast pocket of her overalls. With one hand still on the console the Doctor gestured to the TARDIS door, refulgent white light poured through the windows illuminating the walkway. Bill tentatively stepped towards the door, looking back at his Cheshire Cat smile for reassurance as her fingers brushed lightly on the lock and she flicked the silver lever and pulled open the door, pallid air spilled inside.
'Renaissance?' Bill sneered, 'It's more like apocalypse'
The Doctor poked his head out and made a frown of concern, 'Well this is very not right.' He returned to the console and began flicking buttons and making faces at the various monitors.
Bill, bathed in the immaculate light, took another step. The toe of her trainers nestled into stygian black sand, finer than cornflour. The view was preposterous.
For as far as she could see, hundreds of miles from the obsidian plateau she now stood on, were pillars of ebony, mountains of onyx and seas of atrementum vaster and darker than anything she ever imagined. As if some great turbulent river had, in a single instant, been turned to a stone of the deepest, purest black. The argent blaze from the sun did nothing to alleviate the dark, it was like a torch was being shone in her eyes, somehow blinding the lower half of her vision. She had never seen such brilliant, garish light, it felt like the backs of her eyes were being seared. She looked back at the TARDIS, the deep royal blue was being bleached by the sunlight, it appeared sickly, the wooden panels didn't comfort Bill the way they usually did. The Doctor was still inside, he gave her a quick confused look before his face froze in terror and she cried out in pain.
She tried to look down at her hands as her fingertips exploded in frozen agony, but she couldn't, it felt like they were being punctured by razors as cold as ice. Her legs were fixed, shoulder-width apart feet splayed outwards, her arms were outstretched in front of her angled down at 45 degrees with palms upturned. Her head was tilted backwards as if yanked by a rope, her mouth was open and painful in its rigidity. Bill's every inch was restricted as if pulled in by an invisible, immeasurable force so restrictive she could not even tremble in fear, her initial cry continued to echo around the oppressive landscape, except it had been reduced to a pale and feeble whimper. The feeling of frost penetrated deeper into her chest like an infection spreading further and further, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't weep, she could barely even see the Doctor through her slowly welling tears.
The Doctor ran back out of the TARDIS frantically, scuffing the doorway as he floundered. He grabbed Bill's forearm with a strong but wrinkled fist but before his long fingers were even fully clenched around her, a pulse of energy was expelled from the dark shimmer encasing her. He was thrown against the corner of the TARDIS with such force he felt his skin split against the back of his skull, his brain throbbed as his mind raced in panic. What was happening to Bill? Think Doctor. Think! A planet that should be vibrant and full of life is dark and ravaged by sunlight, Bill was coated in a sheen like a shadow all around. As if they'd landed in some alternate plane…and she was being drawn from it. She could not move, and she could not be moved, molecular calculation or subatomic measurements? The shimmer looked damp, he could see droplets condensing as he watched. Hygroscopic energy field! Means there's some geological anchoring. A fine white precipitate started to evaporate from the shell and he felt a severe coldness coming off her, an endothermic reaction? Suggests primitive temporal technology. Think! Think! A human colony, cusp of the 52nd century, could they have something like this? A kind of chronological capturing device, taking her where? For what purpose? Ok. Don't know why, just work out how, how to help her. She can't be rescued from what is happening, but she can be prepared, prepared for whoever is doing it.
The frost bit harder as she watched the Doctor, the man who had always protected her be flung back like a ragdoll. After a few seconds, he jumped to his feet as lithe as ever, his face a stew of confusion and dread.
'Bill!' He shouted 'You're being taken, you are being shifted out of time, a different phase of reality, likely the one all the people and cities of this planet are in. A kind of 4D camouflage, like those grief leeches! Remember?' His voice softened to a low mumble 'Applying a cephalopodic cloaking technique to an entire planet, someone's been listening to my greatest hits…' He trailed off 'I don't know who is doing this and I don't know what for, but I know that you are brilliant. I am so, so sorry, this is going to be painful and terrifying, the mere process is agony and you are going to be thrust into an alien world. You will need to acclimate and survive until I can figure out how to get you back.' He was darting around the TARDIS desperately rummaging through trunks and cases, chucking various strange objects over his shoulder and speaking with extreme rapidity. 'A somewhat archaic scanner, it's taking down your atomic information in its totality, we have…' He counted on his fingers '…4 minutes. Ok, work with that. Background information. Planet: Etruscia. Relative Earth Date: Monday, January 30th 5099. Based on the latitude and longitude, somewhere near the city of Bononia, capital of Romaemila, the largest nation on Etruscia, currently ruled over by Vicci Amidae III leader of the Maevelchi party, an anthro-preservation movement of sorts, friendly enough.' He stuck his hand deep into another pile of junk and pulled another peculiar item out. 'This is the peak of the Time Agency's power, the government should still respect the central IGDL authority, so that's what you'll pretend to be a part of!' He rushed to Bill nestling the oddest collection of scrap she'd ever seen.
'First! Vortex Manipulator, time travel technology, evidence enough of your rank in the agency, basic co-ordinates are set, locked to this gravitational body and now attune to the timestream you're entering. If under threat, you can alter the relative locality link and bam! Time vortex to the rescue! Don't burnout the battery and don't cross your own timeline unless you really, really feel like ending the universe.' An attempt at that reassuring smile flashed across his face as he frantically soniced what looked like an overdesigned wristwatch. The Doctor delicately reached towards her and placed the device around her forearm, careful not to nudge any part of her even slightly, it clicked into place and he shivered. 'Second, the Aoratos Watch, simple enough, makes the wearer completely invisible by reversing light waves. Just look stylish and then press the button to stop looking like anything at all' He tucked a silvery trinket into her pocket and slipped out her phone as he did so. Sonicing it before sliding it back in with a leather wallet. 'You're familiar with psychic paper and your phone, it should link to the TARDIS console through any dimensional disturbance' Now the Doctor was holding just two items, his own Screwdriver and something that resemble a long magic wand with a silver bauble on the end. He looked between them with extreme apprehension before placing the flashing green and blue sonic in yet another of her pockets with a weak smile. 'I never like to part but, you need it more than me. I can cope with just my Sonic Cane. Only been a few hundred years!' He slowly moved his hands back away from her and Bill thought she saw his nose twitch as if anxious. 'It's all down to you now,' He smiled feebly again 'Figure out what's going on, keep yourself safe and, if you can, do some good. I've seen you save children, topple dictators and diplomat with aliens made of gas! You will be ok. No! More than that. You will be amazing!'
Bill's fingertips felt like they were being sliced off, then her fingers and toes. Hands and feet severed as if by an enormous boreal blade. Her throat was aching to scream as inch by inch her arms and legs were carved, she couldn't look down but Bill was certain she could see her own limbs disappearing in her periphery. The Doctor averted his eyes from her in what looked like revulsion. The icy shredding reached her shoulders and her hips, she could feel her bones crack as the knife pushed through them with greater and greater force. She was sure, the discomfort in her extremities had become fainter, a phantom pain, while the wound burned with cold ever stronger as it moved further up her body. Her breath froze in her lungs as their lower half was cut and removed, the red built behind her eyes, she couldn't breathe or even gasp for air. A frozen fog built up in her head, encrusting her mind in razor-sharp hoarfrost, the glowing white view faded to ever darker shades of grey as her consciousness faded away.
The Doctor knew what was going to happen, but the sight was still more than he could bear. Whatever amalgam of tech had been bastardised into this device was unable to temporally shift more than small masses at a time, so it dices its subjects into…bite-size pieces. The barbarism of the craftsmanship disgusted him. He turned back for a final look, Bill was a scalp, only her hair and the last scraps of brain and skull still shimmered in the same cold, black. In another crackle of cool electric light, she was lost.