"She had to get there precisely when Tori kissed me," Beck bit out hitting the wall.
He didn't really like letting his emotions get the best of him (he didn't get the nickname "Robot Beck" for nothing) but he had so many emotions buliding up inside of him he had to let it out somehow. It wasn't already bad enough that he had gotten drunk and cheated on her, but to top it all off she had to have gotten there when Tori basically threw herself on him. He couldn't really blame her though, after all he did, techincally, lead her on. He was just so tired and angry with Jade and her insane jealousy and the need to make an arguement over any little thing. Beck loved her, he really did and it wasn't that he was tired of her he was just tired of all her insecurties that she tried to twist in to making them his flaws. It kind of angered him to know that she couldn't trust him after being together for almost 3 years.
So what did he do after having a huge fight with Jade? He called Tori Vega, (a girl he knew had feelings for him and Jade hated) asked her to sneak in to a bar with him, and got shit-faced drunk. It was never supposed to escalate to the point of them sleeping together. All Beck really wanted was to get back at Jade for not trusting him (it sounded better in his mind) so logically he did exactly what she had feared and cheated on her with Tori. When he woke up the next day with the nastiest hang-over he ever had and naked with Tori sleeping beside him on the bed, equally as naked, he knew he had fucked up. He quickly jumped out of the bed as if it would burn him if he stood any longer, got dressed and he drove straight to his RV. So many things were running through his mind, it only caused the aching in his head to intensify. How much had he drank? Who made the first move? How was he going to tell Jade? Jade. Oh god, Jade. As soon as he realized what he had done it was pretty much a guarantee that she was going to break up with him. He coudln't lose her.
Initally Beck had planned to not tell Jade anything (it was a stupid mistake that he didn't mean and was it really worth losing his entire world?) but that soon proved to be harder than he thought when everytime she looked at him with those dangerously captivating blue eyes full of love, and security, as if he would protect her from anybody who tried to hurt her, he could feel the guilt eating him up inside. Because he didn't deserve that look, he didn't deserve to kiss her and hold her, he didn't even deserve to have her beautiful lips say his name. And then Tori called him telling him her period was 2 weeks late, his heart stopped. Beck wasn't ready to be a dad at 17 years old (and if he was it would be because that baby had to be Jade's and his). He had to tell her before she found out from someone else. So along with the help of Andre, he convinced Jade to go on vacation with him with the excuse of wanting to get away from everybody and just focous on each other.
On the day they were scheduled to leave for their romantic retreat, Jade somehow found out, slapped him in to next week telling him she never wanted to see him, and ran away. Jade was the strongest woman he knew and he also knew that she was so prideful and hated letting pepole know they got the better of her. So when she didn't show up to school for a week, it broke his heart to know that he had fucked her up so bad that he ruined her. How did he expect Jade to forgive him, when he couldn't even forgive himself for doing what he did to her? She didn't talk to anyone, for the exception of Cat, so he had no clue how she was doing. Even sweet, innocent, Cat didn't talk to him for hurting her bestfriend. Today was actually the first day Jade had gone to school since she found out and the first thing she saw when she walked in was Beck kissing Tori. Fucking fantastic.
Rubbing his chin Andre watched as Beck paced in the tiny area of the janitors closet while running a hand through his long, black hair, something he noticed Beck did whenever he was nervous or frustrated. "At least Tori's not pregnant, so that's a plus. With that problem out of the way I think it's time you sat down with Jade and really just explain to her what happened."
Beck laughed bitterly. "How the fuck am I supposed to do that when I can't even be 5 steps away from her without her running off."
He didn't what to do anymore so Jade could at least talk to him. It seemed like whenever he tried something always had to ruin it. All he wanted was her to understand that he had absouletly no feelings for Tori, because the only girl he had them for was for her.
Andre didn't know what to do either. Beck was his bestfriend, and even though Jade scared him, he kinda saw her like a sister. Although he had fallen in love with her at one point, it was for that reason that he was able to see a different side of Jade and he didn't want her getting hurt. He didn't approve of what Beck did, but he knew first hand how complicated Jade is and how messed up their relationship was. It's not like he could tell him one thing, and then her another. What he did know was how much she meant to Beck and how much he loved her and he couldn't even imagine what Beck was going through.
He let out a long sigh and put his hand on his shoulder, "Just talk to her. Even if you have to grab her and lock yourselves in a room-"
"That won't be nessasary."
Both Beck and Andre snapped their heads to the side when they heard Jade's voice. She had somehow managed to open and close the door with out them noticing considering how small the closet was. They must've really been engrossed in the conversation for them to have not noticed. She was standing at the far end of the room opposite of where Andre and Beck were standing, with her arms crossed avoiding looking at Beck. Already she could feel her tears building up and she hated herself for being such a pansy. Jade West wasn't someone who cried infront of people because it showed weakness. But a girl, including herself, could only take so much before she hit rock bottom.
How do you tell yourself to stop caring, stop feeling, hurting, for a guy you were (are) in love with for 3 years? He deserved nothing, not even hating him because that would still be feeling things for him. Jade wished she was dead or she got in to a freak accident and lost her memory, anything rather than having this painful ache in her chest that made it hard to breathe. She actually thought her chest was going to burst open with all the pain she had inside. Because she loved him with all her heart. And maybe that's what her problem was.
But She was tired of running, tired of letting Beck and this entire school full of nosy idiots get the satisfaction of seeing her broken, tired of feeling vulnerable, tired of everthing. Which is why she was in the janitors closet with him right now. She had to get something's off her chest or else she felt like she would go insane. (more than she already was)
"I need to talk to Beck." She said looking over at Andre who quickly excused himself giving Beck a quick glance and a patt on the back before he left. He made sure to avoid Jade. No matter what she was going through at the moment she was still Jade. She didn't take too well to people giving her looks of pitty so she was grateful when Andre had left without looking her way.
Once he had left, closing the door behind him, Jade turned around so her back was facing Beck. She had gone over what she was going to say all night, but now that she was actually in front of him, and after seeing what she saw in the hallway; it was like her mind wasn't connected with her mouth. Being there in the same room with him made her realize that she still loved him to death. No. She wasn't going to let him see her like this, she refused to let herself fall in to the category of sad, pathetic, ex-girlfriend. Regaining her composure she turned to Beck and finally starred up at him. She was clutching the strap of her bag tightly, keeping her head held high.
Despite her stance of trying to make herself seem un-affected, he saw it in her eyes. Sure she looked like she had every other day (beautiful) with her clothes, her jet black hair with turquoise streaks, and her make-up, but he had dated her a long time and he knew her like the plam of his hand. Her eyes were slightly red and she just looked so worn out.
Her stance also betrayed her when she opened her mouth to speak. "Beck... I-I can't forgive you." She said bitting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying. She gave him everything and he repaid her by sleeping with Tori. Tori of all people.
Beck felt his heart sink. He could hear the hurt in her voice and it killed him to know that he was the reason for it. He didn't care about how he was feeling, it was her feelings that mattered to him and it was her pain that hurt him the most. He took a little steps closer to her.
"But if you still love me, and I know you do so don't even try to deny it, why can't you?" He asked keeping his voice steady, "Listen that night I was drunk , okay? I was mad because it felt like you didn't trust me after all I did to show you I loved you. It was like my love wasn't enough to make you understand that you are the only girl I could ever have eyes for. You have no idea how that made me feel to think that the one person I cared about most in this world didn't trust me, so I drank. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry, I'm so sorr-"
"Stop saying you're sorry! You meant everything to me, Beck. Everything!" Her voice cracked and it physically hurt him because there was so much pain in her voice.
"I never should've gotten back with you when I broke up with you because Alyssa kept texting you. This what you wanted wasn't it? To sleep with Tori? I mean you did kiss her on her second day here, you always took her side, and defended her instead of your own girlfriend. I sometimes questioned if it was her you were thinking about when you said you loved me." She said coldly.
"Don't say that," he chuckled pinching the bridge of his nose, "Please don't say that.." he trailed off.
"You wanna know what the worst thing is?" she said her eyes boring in to his, "I never stopped loving you. Not even for a second. You're inside me like a diesase."
"I'm not perfect and I'm never going to be, I made a mistake. All I want you to know is I love you."
Jade scoffed "By kissing Tori right in front of me?"
"I can explain that," he said walking closer to her only for Jade to take steps back.
"I don't want you to explain anything to me. I trusted you more than anyone in the world." She sobbed putting her face in her hands. She couldn't do it anymore. Her emotions were all over the place and being next to him was affecting her way more than she thought it would.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he looked down swallowing the lump in his throat. In that instant he realized how much of an idiot he really was. He took everything Jade had given him with open arms just to leave her epmty when it was all said and done. He felt as if he had let her down because even though she hated cliche's, he was supposed to be her knight and shinning-armor. "I was going to tell you, I was just waiting for the right time."
Jade pursed her lips giving him a glare that had she given it to someone else they probably would have pee'd themselves. "And when was that going to be? When you took me far away from here so I couldn't have anyone to be there for me when you told me? Is that when you were going to tell me? Hm?" she demanded, "That's when you were going to tell me, when the entire school already knew and was laughing at me behind my back? How could you do this to me, I didn't care about anybody but you!" She screamed, tears streaming down her face.
Jade practically ran up to him with her fist clenched and began hitting his chest. Beck stood there letting her hit him because he deserved that and so much more. He grabbed her wrist stopping her from her assult and closed the space between them and hugged her tightly. At first she struggled against his grip until she eventually gave up and slumped on his chest.
She cried in his chest as he stroked her hair and let out deep breaths trying to keep himself from breaking down too. Seeing her like this was too much for him to handle. "I'm sorry," He kept mumbling in to her hair. He knew this was probably a bad time to be thinking these things, but it had been 3 weeks since he had any phyiscal contact with her whatsoever, and feeling her in his arms again was something he missed so much.
After a couple of seconds Jade calmed down and stopped crying. She pulled away from him. "I forgive you." She said, her voice still shaking a litte.
Beck looked at her shocked. She said she forgave him. The words made his heart flutter and a tiny bit of hope about them getting back together came rushing through his body.
"So, does that mean that me and you..."
Jade shook her head, "I forgive you. But I don't want to be with you." She said turning around in order to open the door.
Just as fast as that fluttering feeling came, it left. Beck grabbed her arm and brought her right back. He loved this girl way too much to not fight for her. For them.
"You don't mean that. Baby, we can make this work. I promise I'll never hurt you again. I'll be the best boyfriend in the world because you deserve nothing but the best. Just please give us another chance." he whispered leaning his forhead against her.
"I can't Beck." she replied jerking her head back. She stepped back so her back was agaisnt the door. "I can't trust you anymore. Everytime I see your face all I can see is this image of you and Tori together and I can't. It's going to take me time to even be able to look at you and not feel this... digust in the pit of my stomach. I don't know why I'm suprised. I always knew you two had a thing for each other. I had prayed I was wrong. God did I wish I was wrong. All I can think about is if our relationship ever meant anything to you and if you just stuck around for as long as you did because you felt sorry for me. I mean you know what they say Beck. A druken mind speaks a sober heart."
"Jad-"
"I have to fix myself before I even think about dating again. I need time, Beck. And even then I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to be with you in that way again. What you did really messed me up and there's no point in having a relationship with out trust, right? When we were together and I did trust you, which according to you it seemed like a didn't, look where it left us. Now imagine being in a one now that I don't trust you at all."
She thanked god that she decided on using water proof mascara so her face didn't look like a complete mess. She wiped at her face with her hands and fixed herself before turning around. Again, Beck caught her wrist but this time she shrugged it off. "Bye, Beck." Jade deadpanned and opened the door closing it with a slam that stayed ringing in his ears well after she left.
She stomped out of the janitors closet just like she stomped on his heart. Well deserved as it maybe, it didn't stop the pain it caused and what hurt him the most was knowing he was at fault for it. He was the only one to blame for not getting his happily ever after.
Hey! Okay so this is my first time ever writting anything that isn't wrestling so sorry if the characters are a bit out of character, lol. I was on tumblr yesterday reblogging supernatural stuff (spn is life) and somehow ended up in the Bade tag(?). When victorious was still on I didn't really like the show but I shipped Beck and Jade. So after reliving their memories this baby was created. It kinda pissed me off how the writers made Jade easily forgive Beck and get back together with him. I mean he tried to kiss Tori and in a way tried to minipulate her in to kissing him by talking bad about Jade. If that situation had happened to me a simple "I've missed you" wouldn't have been enough, but that's just me. So even though the reason why they broke up in my story isn't what actually happened, this is how I kinda wanted Jade to react to Beck wanting to get back togehter. I adore them together but I feel like this needed to be done. It's supposed to be a one-shot, but who knows. Also if there are people who read this story, who also read my wrestling story "If you play with fire, you might get burned", I DO plan on contuning it so be on the look out for an update, I've just been really busy. ANYWAY, I hope you guys liked this story and please review to let me know what you think, whether it's good or bad, all comments are appreciated! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope I did you Bade shippers justice. Thanks again, much love! (:
