To be frank, the Ankh is rank.

It's got pollution up the bank.

The water is too thick to drink.

Stand on the top, you'll never sink.

You bathe in it, you'll come out brown.

It turns your insides upside-down.

It un-washes your cleaner plates.

In Morpork no-one sane cremates

Their relatives: they dump them whole

Into the smother to dissolve.

The tannery adds 'vitamins'.

The sewer waste is 'better in than out'

And all the rubbish thrown

Onto the bank (all-over-grown

With choking reeds, more black than green)

In hours is rotted to unseen.

It prides first place in every lecture to touch

On carcinogen conjecture.

Served at teenage celebrations,

It's known to cause hallucinations.

And yet, although you'd never think it...

Many people... well, they drink it.