/Warning: the following story has a high level of retardation. The loss of IQ is inevitable. Cancer-o-meter reads 9/10 cancer. Prepare yourself for a journey to the depths of idiocy./

Big News Today!

Twenty-seven girls in Chicago were brutally raped in every hole!

It's the 13498th mass rape today!

The UN is losing in people's eyes!

When will this stop? Why has it come to this?

CNN has invited professor Tim Allen, an ex-rapist and a rape specialist, who will discuss the current state of rape today, at 8 pm, don't miss it!

Tracer turned off the TV and drank some chocolate milk. Suddenly, Winston jumped into her house through the window and shat on the floor.

"Winston! Why would you do that?!" Tracer yelled at him.

"I was told to bring you to Overwatch headquarters as soon as possible!" Winston explained.

"I'm not talking about the window, I'm talking about the shit you just took on my carpet."

"Oh, that." Winston scratched his head with shame, "I thought you like the stench of shit."

"What?!"

"No more talking! We have to go!"

Winston grabbed Tracer's face and threw her into a bag. Then he ran straight to the Overwatch HQ.

He took a shit on the floor and took Tracer out of the bag.

"Gaah! I couldn't breathe, you know!"

"Go to the conference room, they're waiting for you there." Winston said and went to his room.

Tracer sighed and entered the conference room.

"We were waiting for you!" some lady said.

She was an instructor. Tracer took a seat next to Symmetra and Dva.

"As I said, women are being raped, and raped, and Raped, and RAPED, an RAPED, and RAPED!" the instructor kept saying.

Mercy raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Umm, you were repeating that all the time, for 10 minutes before Tracer came." Mercy stated.

"Oh. Well, I'm just trying to clarify the problem we have to deal with. Because as you may already know, the women across the world are being raped, and raped, and Raped, and RAPED, and …"

Then Mei shot an icicle at her face and she was killed, the end, thank you.

THE END

jk.

"MEI!" Tracer exclaimed, "You can't just kill someone like that!"

"Why not?" Mei asked.

"Because… it… was said in the Bible… not to kill…"

Symmetra cackled.

"And WHERE is your God now? Where was he when women were being raped?" Symmetra questioned.

"Actually, women are still being…"

"WHERE was he when Harambe was killed?" Symmetra continued, "We have to learn how to defend ourselves and not rely on others!"

Everyone agreed. Symmetra got up and grabbed the microphone.

"To clarify, women are NOT just being raped. They are being raped the same way! It always starts when they meet their friends, and those friends put something into their drinks, and then they pass out, and those friends take off their pants, and those girls' pants, they rape them in every hole and cum inside, and then they pee on them and steal their purses!"

Everyone got silent for a moment.

"Is… that really the case?" Dva asked.

"Actually, no, it's not like all men in the world suddenly colluded to rape their friends. So that's not the case."

"So what's the case?" Mercy asked.

"Well, the only option left is that those girls rape themselves, but they aren't aware of that."

"How's that possible?" Tracer asked.

"It's not fucking possible!" said Sombra. She was quiet so far, but the bullshittery Symmetra was exposing was enough to trigger her.

Everyone looked at her.

"Sombra, you're not even a part of Overwatch, dafuq you're doing here?" Dva asked.

"I AM in Overwatch, duh? I'm in the game, so, yeah?"

And then she took out a burrito out of her pocket and swallowed it.

"Umm, how is it possible that you ate a whole burrito with just one bite?" Dva asked.

"I don't think she even took one bite, she swallowed it whole!" Tracer noticed.

Everyone was praising Sombra for her burrito eating skills, but then Mercy interrupted.

"Girls!" she shouted, "Let's focus on the problem, alright?"

"What's the problem?" Sombra asked, "Are you scared of being raped?"

"YEAHH?!"

"And what's so wrong with a little rape now and then?"

"Hmm, let me think, maybe the fact that it hurts?! And it's against any human law!" Mercy replied.

"But from what I've heard, those women didn't feel anything! They were unconscious!"

"Oh, so you think rape is okay?"

"Yes."

"But you're a woman."

"Yes."

"Where is your pride?"

"Here." Sombra said and took out another burrito from her pocket.

"How many burritos do you keep in your pocket?"

"Just a couple hundred."

And then Mercy used her magic to teleport Sombra to the middle of fucking Sahara desert.

"Alright, as a doctor, I did investigate a few rape victims lately." Said Mercy.

"And what did you find out?" Symmetra asked.

"I found out that all girls are raped by aliens, that are invisible to human's eyes."

Everyone got silent.

"Tell me again, why is your hypothesis better than mine?" Symmetra asked.

"Well, that's because it's not a hypothesis, it's a fact."

"I believe her." Dva said, "It sounds legit."

"True, I agree!" Tracer added, "We should now learn how to defend ourselves against aliens!"

Everyone was like "Yeah!" except Symmetra, who wasn't so sure. Mercy noticed she didn't believe what she said.

"Girls, I think this whole alien thing is bullshit." Symmetra stated, "I bet there are no aliens at all."

"Oh, okay, so if you truly believe that aliens don't exist, we will use you as a decoy, and check if they really aren't real, okay?" Tracer decided.

"Umm, what?"

And then they grabbed Symmetra, beat the shit out of her, and wrapped around with a rope and threw into a potato bag. They walked outside and threw her on the street. It was midnight, and everyone was in their homes.

"Girls! You can't just leave me here like that!" Symmetra cried.

"Easy! We're not leaving you!" Dva calmed her down, "We're gonna hide behind this car, and watch carefully if anyone… or anything… comes to rape you. Then we will kill them!"

"Really? Thanks! That's a relief, I thought you were gonna leave me here…"

"Of course not! There is nothing to be afraid of, so don't worr-…" Dva stopped, because suddenly, some alien with tentacles appeared out of nowhere. Before the girls could in any way react to this unexpected situation, the alien has grabbed Symmetra, ripped off her clothes and raped her fiercefully with its tentacles.

Tracer screamed and ran away, inside the HQ. So did other girls.

They watched through the glass door, as the alien raped, and raped, and Raped, and RAPED, an RAPED, and RAPED Symmetra.

"Alright, so we know that aliens exist." Mei said in shock. "What now?"

"I have a plan…" Mercy said, "But it involves praying to the dark lord Satan. Are you in?"

"If this is the only way to defeat alien tentacle monsters, yes." Mei said.

Everyone agreed that the only way to defeat aliens was to ask Satan for help. But they didn't know, what evil they were about to call upon themselves…

To be continued…

Personally, I'd rate this chapter a solid 8/Filthy Frank. Feel free to draw any hentai based on this story. Animation is welcome as well. No, really, please guys, make more Overwatch hentai, I need it in my life. You also do. Or you don't know you do, yet.

Also, I noticed that the description for this story does not really match with what I wrote. Guess I should write stories first, and then descriptions. Oh well. But don't worry, there will be black magic in the next chapter. Stay tuned.