Chapter 1

Weird, strange, odd, shy.

That's just a short list of the names that people call me.

Granted there are a lot worse names that are on the full version, but I prefer not to think about those.

I prefer the words 'unique individual' or 'quirky' or 'different', but I guess not everything I prefer is what everyone else prefers.

My name is Clary.

There's nothing special about me. I'm annoyingly short with ginger hair and freckles that look like someone just attacked me with a brown pen.

I love to swim and draw and play music. But I'm really not exceptional at any of them.

I have the best friend in the world. Thing is he's my only friend but I've never seemed to need anyone else. His name is Simon.

He's the usual Star Wars geek who's also got a real passion for music.

Another thing is that everyone likes him. He could sit down anywhere in the canteen and be welcome with a fist bump or some weird Star Treck 'Spock' thing.

But we go way back. Like waaaay back. We are basically siblings.

Everyone thinks we are a 'thing' but we've talked about it and he says he'd rather sleep with Jaba the Hut than go out with me, which is fine because when you've seen a guy piss on your dogs head I don't think you would ever consider a romantic relationship with said guy.

I live with my mom in a quirky apartment in Brooklyn.

Yep, no dad. He died when I was little.

I still remember him though. Sometimes I get flashbacks of him singing to me and playing the guitar.

Everyone loved him, I guess everyone still does. Out of everyone, I think mum loved him most, that's if you don't count Luke.

He was Dads best friend, basically his brother. Sort of like me and Simon.

Luke's always been my dad to me though, which I suppose is good because he and mum have recently admitted to each other that they love each other.

If we were a normal family, then I would say that dating your dead husband's best friend is off limits, but we are not an ordinary family and everyone already knew anyway, even me.

Even random people on the streets stopped me and asked me did they finally tell each other.

Turns out mum and Luke are quite the celebrity couple.

If it makes them both happy then it's fine with me. I suppose it makes me happy as well, Luke's the only father I've ever known so now I guess he's going to be my 'official' dad.

I go to a normal high school in with normal kids with barely anyone above average intelligence or performance, except of course The Lightwoods.

Super hot, super smart, super popular and above all, super stuck up.

Alec Lightwood (the oldest) constantly looks like someone put shit in his sandwich and Isabelle Lightwood is your stereotypical Regina George with her killer heels and killer looks.

Then there's their adoptive brother Jace.

While the other two are dark and brooding, Jace is... golden. Literally. Like scientists say it's not possible that someone can have golden hair or golden eyes, but Jace Lightwood is all about going against rules and regulations.

There's surely not a day that goes by that doesn't have him fin detention for some rule that he's broken.

Personally, I think that he has a copy of the school's rule book just to see what stupid rules there are to break.

Apart from being the heartthrob of the school, he is an absolute and complete and utter dickhead.

I'm not usually one to feel harshly towards someone but this guy really deserves it.

I can stand his two other siblings but he is just an insult to mankind.

He once got everyone in school to call me carrot, and when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE.

The guy has friends everywhere. So I had to stick with 'carrot' for an entire term, but everyone soon got tired of it.

Who wants to annoy someone who's too shy even to react?

Apart from being a social disaster, nothing much happens in school.

I do as much work as I can to pass the time until the bell rings that signals the end of every kid's torture.

Basically I have a normal life with a normal (ish) family and normal 16 year old girl in high school problems.

Well, that was story until 'the incident'. I don't like to talk about it much.

Everyone knows about it, but they don't 'know' about it. Like how it affects me and my family.

They don't know the nightmares that haunt me. They don't know how my mum cries into Luke's shoulder.

They don't know that I know that they know.

They don't know that I can hear them talking about it and they don't know that I notice how everyone treats me like glass. Like I'll shatter at one touch.

They don't know me.

They don't know how strong you have to be to survive and not break down. To keep living. Everyone pities me. I can see it now their eyes.

They tell me that they are sorry. I tell them not to be sorry.

It wasn't their fault. It has nothing to do with them.

I tell them that we are all going to die some day and that I'm just going to die a little sooner. Since people found out, they take me look at me like I'm not really there. Like I'm a ghost.

I feel like saying, "I'm not dead yet. You can mourn me when I'm gone but I'm still here."

Thats why I spend my time with Simon in places far away from home as I can.

Somewhere nobody knows me and somewhere that I can just be a normal girl who goes out and gets drunk with her friends.

But I can't do that. I'm too 'fragile', too 'delicate'.

Sometimes I wonder if it's even my life anymore. Sometimes it's like everyone thinks your already dead and you're just there, ruments floating between life and death. Not really belonging anywhere.

So I made a list. I made a list of all the things that I'm going to to before I die. To be honest it is a crazy list.

There were a couple of arguments with mum but I told her did she want me to spend the rest of my life lying in a bed. Growing paler and skinnier?

I told her that if this is all the time I have left to see and do everything, then I better get started because life is too short. Especially mine.

Authors note

Hi guys, if it wasn't obvious I don't own Then Mortal Instruments or any other series by Cassandra Clare.

This is my first mainly Clace fanfic! Please comment and tell me how I'm doing.

Oh and I need ideas for 'The List'. Tell me if you were going to die tomorrow and you could only do one thing today what would you do? It can be literally anything. Honestly, the crazier the better!

I will try and update as often as possible.

Over and out

(OMG I'm so cringy)