Hello!
It's been a long time since I posted anything but I wrote this Dramione fic for a good friend of mine and she told me to upload it so here it is, just in time for Christmas. Hope you enjoy!
The Broken Ones
When Hermione returned to Hogwarts, she didn't expect it to be the same.
She didn't think the platform would have the general hustle and bustle. She didn't expect the train to be as full, or the students as loud. She didn't expect that Peeves would still float around singing the same songs. She knew that the welcome feast speeches would never be the same.
But she didn't think it'd be so different.
She didn't realise that she was one of the only people in her year repeating their seventh year. She didn't think the other one would be Draco Malfoy. She didn't expect tears to spring into her eyes when she saw McGonagall address the students at the welcome feast. But she did expect the cool comfort of a four poster bed and didn't even think of house elf labour as she lay awake into the early hours of the morning.
The first night back, she cried herself to sleep.
When Draco returned to Hogwarts, he didn't expect it to be the same because it couldn't be.
He expected the lack of 'eighth years'. He expected the lack of Harry Potter and his trusty sidekick since they were probably off saving the world again. But he didn't know why he was surprised when he saw a bushy head buried in a book in an empty compartment.
He also didn't expect to sit in the same compartment, but life was full of surprises apparently. The ride was silent and she did not turn a page or look at him at all. He expected that too.
He didn't expect to have to share a common area with Granger because they were Head Prefects.
The first night back, he lay awake to the sound of tears.
The first time Hermione woke up from a nightmare since returning to Hogwarts, she was afraid, and alone. She felt the crushing loneliness in the large, dark, empty room and with no Harry or Ron for comfort, she lay in a ball and tried to block out the cries of her dead classmates.
The next day, she worked and read and worked some more, like usual. She ignored the silver eyes burning into her back and vowed to use a silencing charm on her door that night.
The first time in two months that Draco heard something at night other than silence, his hand automatically tightened over his wand. The scream was unexpected and brought back a flood of memories that Draco had been trying to keep back, but he pushed through it and tumbled out of bed, struggling to the door through his memories until he could make out what the Head Girl was actually screaming about.
"Ron, come back! Please! PLEASE! No, no! Harry! HARRY!"
He stopped with his hand on her door, his breathing slowing down as he stared at the flat panel of wood, behind which a girl was being tormented by the same things that he was every night. He probably should have gone in to wake her up. He probably should have made sure she was okay. He probably should have apologised for everything he'd done.
But he didn't.
"Draco, hurry up, you slowpoke. Even Vincent can run faster than you," Pansy taunted, her dark hair flying behind her in two braids.
"That's only because you said that we'd get cupcakes when we got back to the house!" Draco whined, his voice sounding immature even to him. Pansy grinned mischievously, her smile cockier than maybe even him. "That's why I'll definitely be sorted into Slytherin next year. You on the other hand…oh dear, Draco, what if you're a Hufflepuff?"
"Pansy! You know I won't be! My entire family was in Slytherin," Draco pouted as they slowed to a stop. Then he spotted the treats on the table in front of them. "Wait, you weren't lying to Vincent?"
She laughed at him, and he grinned at the sound. "No, you idiot!" And then she took one and smashed it into his face.
"Hey! PANSY!"
She only laughed and ran away from him, eyes alive with mirth. Draco ran to catch up, but he couldn't quite make it. He kept running, and running, and running, but she was getting further away…
The first time Hermione had a conversation with Malfoy following their return to school was during their patrol.
She had felt his gaze on her back many times during the time they'd been back but the extent of their conversations was 'thank you's and nods of acknowledgement. However, when Hermione felt his gaze on her back again, she snapped.
"What do you want, Malfoy?"
He'd recoiled like he'd been stung but his face slid back into its stony expression so quickly that she thought she'd imagined the moment of panic in his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
Hermione, though surprised by the lack of venom in his voice, did not let his weak attempt at ignorance deter her in her interrogation. "You keep staring at me, and I know there's a reason for it. What, do you not want to share space with a mudblood?"
Malfoy flinched as if she'd slapped him and for a moment, she felt guilt swallow her irritation but then she hardened her resolve and tapped her foot impatiently. "Well?"
Malfoy didn't reply for a second but when he looked at her, she was startled to see that his silver eyes were rimmed with red and he had the same look in his eyes that she saw every time she looked in the mirror. "I'm sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable. I won't in the future."
Over the next few weeks, Hermione didn't know what she was more surprised by – the fact that he kept his word and did not stare at her or his actual words themselves.
The first time Draco looked Hermione in the eye after their conversation, he felt like a deer trapped in headlights.
It was Christmas, but neither of them seemed to be in a celebratory mood. They had been silent in their common room for an hour at least, with the only sounds being the fireplace crackling. The night air had been still outside. And then it started snowing, and she looked up at the window. Except he was sitting at the window and when he looked up at the small sound she made, her eyes froze him in place. Not because her gaze was strong and pinned him to the spot – no, if that were the case, it would be like any other normal day. But he saw something that made him falter, something that he never expected to see in the eyes of the proud, Gryffindor lioness that had never lost a fight, the tried and tested war heroine that had shot down every challenge she had faced. He saw defeat and pain and a broken longing and suddenly, she was a shadow in a city of light.
The second time Hermione woke up from a nightmare screaming, she didn't realise she was awake until she heard a soft voice and felt warmth on her shoulder. She didn't know if she was meant to be surprised when she saw Malfoy's pale face, white in the moonlight, but she held onto his hand like a lifeline, the hand of the one that had condemned her for so many years. For a moment, she considered ordering him out of her room but then she felt hot, salty teardrops fall onto her hand and her protests quietened into muffled whispers and then to nothing at all.
"Ron, honestly. We were given this at least a month ago. I told you that Professor Flitwick said it was due tomorrow, but you didn't listen!"
"Hermione, come on, I just want to look at your introduction!"
"No!"
"Harry, help me out here. You haven't done it either, have you?"
"No, but I know when something's a lost cause."
"Harry!"
"Yes, thank you, Harry. Ron, go do your work. We can go to the lake after you're done – it's such a lovely day!"
"That's why you can speed this up by helping me. Then we can go to the lake sooner!"
"Ronald Weasley, I am not helping you with your homework. If you don't finish this by noon, I won't help you on your Herbology homework."
"Fine…"
"You need to start practising good study skills, Ron, so that you won't fall behind when we're older and preparing for things like our OWLs!"
"What are OWLs?"
"Harry, you should really read more."
"Give the man a break, Hermione. We're first years! Even Fred and George aren't worried about their OWLs yet. They're these big exams in our fifth year. Fifth year."
"I like to be prepared!"
Both boys rolled their eyes.
The second time Draco had finished a proper conversation with Hermione, she smiled at him, and he felt a little blinded. Of course, it was nothing like the smiles she would give when she received a letter from the Weasel or Potter, but it was a small, genuine smile, where the corners of her mouth lifted the tiniest fraction, and he felt warmth spread from the tips of his fingers to his toes. He stood there for so long, staring, that it was only after she'd walked away that he realised he'd never smiled back.
The third time they studied together, Draco smiled at her and Hermione wished he'd do it more often. Then she instantly squashed that voice, because she wasn't allowed to feel anything other than neutral acquaintanceship with Draco Malfoy.
But since that time, she couldn't forget the difference that a smile made to his eyes. When he wasn't smiling, his eyes were empty and unreadable, their steely grey slates blank. When he smiled, the edges crinkled up a bit and the grey was less stormy, replaced by a melting silver. Then she mentally slapped herself. Neutral acquaintanceship.
When Hermione heard Ginny scream, she felt as if her own heart had been ripped apart. Because only one person had that mop of messy black hair with dirty glasses, and he was lying dead in Hagrid's arms.
"Harry."
The word had slipped out as a whisper but Ron heard it. He held her hand in his own iron grip and she felt her legs weaken as a sob built up in her throat. "Harry!"
Ginny leapt forward and Hermione felt her stomach drop. "Ginny, no!" But her words were lost.
"HARRY! NO, NO, HARRY!"
"Stop, Ginny!"
There was a pulse of magic and they were silenced. Hermione looked into the face of the darkest wizard of all time and only saw the faces of her fallen friends. Moody, Dobby, Tonks, Remus, Fred…
Voldemort laughed.
She saw his mouth move but her ears were ringing. She could hear nothing but her heartbeat, a dull, repetitive thud that was mocking with each beat. Her best friend…
Hermione Granger was his friend.
He came to this realisation shortly after she was yelling at him about a stupid mistake he'd made in their most recent Arithmancy quiz, her eyes alive with exasperation and wild tendrils of hair falling into her face. It may have helped that she said, "At least you're not the most stupid friend I've ever had and you actually do Arithmancy." He assumed she was referring to Potter and his ginger sidekick but to be lumped in with them, her best friends, made him feel a bit… funny.
A part of him was tempted to not let her worm her way in any closer because those spots near his heart were reserved for his parents, Blaise and Pansy. Then he realised that half of the people on his list were dead, and decided that maybe he could allow Granger in a little bit. But nowhere near as close to his heart as where Pansy had been, or where, however reluctant he may be to admit it, his father had been. The thought of Pansy had become less of a gut-wrenching pain and more of dull throb, which scared him more than he could imagine. He couldn't forget Pansy. Not her eyes, or her smirk, or her laugh, or her love…
"Draco, come forward. I believe you know this witch."
When Draco looked up, he saw the last person he wanted to see, bloodied and bruised, before the Dark Lord. "Pansy. PANSY!"
"Draco!"
A steel, clawed grip dug into his shoulder and he felt his mother's other shaking hand hold him back. But he fought anyway.
"Pansy! Please, let her go, what have you done to her, you monster! Let her go!"
"My, my, someone's attached." The Dark Lord laughed mirthlessly and Pansy whimpered, her hands and feet bound and her eyes wide with fear.
"Draco, help– !"
"Crucio."
When she screamed, he closed his eyes. "PANSY! Mother, let me go, let me go! Let me save her!"
"Crucio!"
He wished, fervently, in that moment, that he could hear nothing. "TAKE ME IN HER PLACE!"
"Draco, please, be quiet, you're only making things worse!"
"LET ME GO! MOTHER, LET ME SAVE HER! PANSY!"
"Avada kedavra."
When Hermione woke up to screaming that was not her own, she flung open his door with her wand out.
But no dark, cloaked figure was attacking the Head Boy. Instead, his body thrashed wildly on the bed, trapped in a dark memory that his mind had recreated.
"PANSY! Don't hurt her! Please, stop! STOP! TAKE ME IN HER PLACE! PANSY!"
"Draco." Hermione rushed over to the bed, tucking her wand back into her sleeve but was stunned into silence when his nightmare shifted.
"No, don't hurt her! Please, not her too! HERMIONE, GET BACK! No, stop it, STOP IT!"
Making a valiant effort to ignore his screams, Hermione ran forward and shook his shoulder. "Draco! Draco, wake up! It's just a nightmare, wake up!"
There was a choked gasp and Hermione rolled back from the bed, her heart beating uncomfortably fast in her chest. Draco's eyes were wide and his breath came out in short gasps. In the moonlight, his hair looked white.
Hermione inched forward hesitantly. "Draco?"
"Hermione."
She bit her lip at the way his voice shook and sat back on the bed. "You…I was in your nightmare."
Draco let out a deep breath. "Yes."
"Why?"
"Hermione, you're the smartest witch I know. You know who Pansy was to me. You being in the same position as she was when she…died…" Draco stopped, and Hermione felt like she'd been punched in the gut.
Hermione didn't know why she did it, but she reached out until their fingers were intertwined. She shuffled onto his bed, lying down, until there was less than an inch between them.
"Hermione…"
"Sh. Go to sleep."
Hermione didn't know what had possessed her when she crawled into Draco Malfoy's bed but she felt the grip on her hand tighten and the form next to her start to shake.
In the darkness of the night, bathed by moonlight, the two in the bed were not enemies, or Head Prefects, or embodiments of their school houses. They were simply two teenagers, survivors of a war and unlikely friends, who held onto each other as if the other was all they had left to lose.
Well, that's it! Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas! :)