Being born six years after the initial outbreak, you often had to wonder, what was life like before all this?

Marlene told you a thing or to. Not enough to go off of. Just stories. There were unfamiliar details within them, but you nodded and went along with it. Asking what every other thing was would just be bothersome.

You knew about work. Obviously. People still worked today. And school, you knew a bit about. You went to school for a bit, but it was mostly bullshit. Algebra and Grammar wouldn't save you from infected.

It was just shocking, was all. The fact that people could roam the streets unarmed, without a care in the world. That the worlds population was billions. Billions! Where now it was...What? A couple hundred? A thousand maybe?

Joel was helpful when it came to not knowing things. He always knew how to explain them without making you feel like a dumbass. Sometimes, you think it helped him too. Memories made him smile.

You remember when memories ceased to do anything but stiffen his expression, make his heart of stone seem colder than ever. That was the old Joel.

You can't place when it happened. After Tess died, when you saved him in Pittsburgh, when you were separated in the sewers, when Sam died...

You couldn't fool yourself into thinking it was a specific time. You knew it wasn't. You both grew on each other along the way, that's just how it was.

Summer's nights were tense. Full of anger, not at one another, but all that you had endured. There were sleepless nights, where you'd listen to each other breathe. It wasn't what you were trying to hear. But it was better than hearing infected. After a while, maybe, just maybe, it was even calming.

Sometimes you'd sit up, wide awake, watching out the window as fireflies flickered their lights. Some nights, when it was pitch black out, they would look like decorative lights on trees. Almost like...Damn, what were they called?

Christmas trees. That was it.

Fall began in sorrow, and the end of it wasn't different.

Sam woke up infected, and was killed by his own brother. Henry, in a fit of rage and fear and guilt and God knows what else, he killed himself.

You and Joel had buried them in Wyoming, by a river that flowed with rapids that terrified you. Joel really needed to teach you how to swim.

Further up the river, was a hydro-something or other. A power plant, powered by, you got it, water.

That's when Joel found Tommy.

The two of you had stayed, until you overheard something that broke you.

Tommy and Joel were talking, and about you. You didn't hear everything, but when Joel pleaded and Tommy said he would 'take her', you knew what it meant.

Joel was handing you off. He knew Tommy was a Firefly, knew he'd know better how to get you to the rest of them.

It made perfect sense, but at the same time ceased to make any. Why would Joel hand you off? After everything you'd been through? You felt anxious and scared.

You wanted to run away.

You made sure no one was around before dashing to the main area and unstrapping one of the horses from his post. You jumped onto his back and dashed from the gate, away to somewhere far and desolate.

It had hurt, when Joel had found you and had expected you to leave without another word. Did he even understand? Or was he just that much of a jackass? You had raised your voice, and his had raised as well. And you weren't done yelling. It didn't hurt. Not until he said it.

"You're right. You ain't my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad."

You knew it to be true. You knew that Sarah, the girl Maria told you about, was his one and only daughter. That she was dead, and Joel still loved her more than anything.

The fact that you were jealous of that made you feel nauseated. Of course he would miss her. It was his daughter. He raised her and loved her only to lose her.

You couldn't explain the jealousy. You just – You loved Joel. Loved him like the father you never knew. With your parents dead, what else was there? Marlene?

There was just Joel. You loved Joel.

The ride back was quiet, but not peaceful, certainly not serene. Just sad. Lonely, almost.

When the three of you stood upon the cliff, overlooking the power plant, Joel surprised you. Tommy too. Maybe even himself.

He told Tommy to stay with his wife, with his people. He told you to get on the horse with him, and you didn't hesitate.

Tommy seemed dumbfounded, though, he didn't question Joel's decision.

You rode onward, towards the University. When the Fall air began to chill, Joel didn't mind you wrapping your arms around him. It was nice.

The Winter was numb. It held catastrophes, mistakes, and memories you wanted to forget.

While hunting for food and supplies, Callus was your only companion. Joel would stay behind, barely conscious. You had found a fairly stable house. There was a mattress that didn't seem too gross. And a comforter. You allowed him both, sleeping beside him on the floor.

One day, while hunting a deer, you stumbled upon something unexpected.

David.

Something had seemed off about him since the moment you first laid eyes on him. But he offered medicine in exchange for the deer, and Joel's condition was too important to trust your instinct. You kept your bow raised, arrow pointed right between his eyes. Until you instructed him to hand over his rifle. You rigged your bow onto your back, holding the gun in it's place.

When he had suggested going inside for shelter from the cold, you felt uneasy, but nodded, requesting that he carry the deer.

Infected came. You fought them off. He ended up having a pistol. Knowing he lied about that made you feel sicker.

When his friend returned, he pointed his gun at you. He had just finished a sentence that made your heart stop.

"My men were killed by a crazy man. A crazy man...running around with a little girl."

He told his friend to give you the medicine. You took it and ran.

The next two days were absolute hell.

You were kept in a cage and nearly butchered, and then, if it couldn't get worse -

He tried to -

…

But it didn't matter. It didn't matter because Joel saved you. He got you out of there. He held you and promised to take care of you, and whether it was right then or long before, it was then that you knew Joel loved you too.

Spring came within a blink's time. You weren't ready.

"Salt Lake City."

You had come all this way, and you wanted to do this.

You just weren't ready.

Along the way, you ended up in some water. You blacked out.

You don't remember much after that.

Consistent beeps. Calm, but hushed voices around you.

You couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even open your eyes. All you had to prove you were awake was a sense of awareness. For all you knew, you could have been dreaming. There was just something that spoke to you, told you that it couldn't be.

Their tones became worried, but you didn't know why.

You didn't really care either.

You just wanted to know where Joel was.

You heard gunshots in the distance, and there was no mistaking it. You'd heard enough to know. They got closer and closer, and you vaguely wondered if you'd be shot. Would it hurt?

You hear three gunshots, all around you. But feel nothing. Maybe death was painless.

But then you felt arms around you, lifting you up. The feeling was warm, reassuring.

Joel.

There were only two more gunshots. You don't remember anything else.

That all felt like such a long time ago.

You had a home now, with Joel.

It was at the power plant, with Tommy and Maria, and everyone else.

It felt, as you once said, surreal.

To not have to constantly live in fear, to have routines, responsibilities, a life.

You didn't want it this way.

No, that wasn't right -

You just weren't used to this. Every once in a while, when the dam was attacked, you'd spring up, grab your guns, and head out with Joel and the other men. That was closest you got to action anymore. And sometimes you couldn't even do that. The women in the town would scold Joel and Tommy because, 'Oh no, you can't let her fight! She's just a child!'. Bitches.

But this was your life now. And you'd have to get used to it.

At least Joel was by your side.