A/N: Ok, this will be a collection of one shots that will range from humor to drama to romance, and not always one kind of pairing. And the theme and inspiration for this collection can be found in the title—icons. Using icons and avatars I've seen I'll draw inspiration from them and write a one shot based on each. The text of the avatar will be written in italics at the top. I do not own these italicized statements nor the avatars they come from, just the fic that ends up being written. And I don't own fma. I will give warnings at the top of the romance fics of what pairing can be found in them.
Drama-- Ed and Roy centric, not romantic... at least I don't think it is... no kisses anyway...
'Sometimes I feel like crying, laying down and maybe dying,
That's when I need you...'
There was a knock on the door and a voice that called, "Edward, are you in there?"
"Shit!" cried Edward as he quickly tried to tie up the bandage around his wrist and pull his glove back on before Roy came in. Louder he said, "Umm… just a second… give me a second…"
"Edward, is something wrong? You sound panicked—"
"I said just give me a god damned second!" Edward yelled at the door. He hissed as he accidentally tore the bandage in his haste and reopened the cuts, making them begin to bleed again.
Light suddenly flooded the dark room and Edward winced away, but not because of the brightness.
"Ed, why are the lights out? What are you—" Roy stopped as he took in the scene.
Silence. Edward shrunk away from the gaze he could feel burning into him. He didn't want to look up, he really didn't, but his body seemed to act on its own as he searched for the other man's eyes.
Pain. That's what he saw there. Different from the kind he had just inflicted on himself, but just as potent. And he had caused it.
He felt tears begin to well up inside him and he quickly turned away. "I told you to wait…"
He tried to hold them back but only succeeded in choking himself on them. Slowly and painfully they trickled out and down his cheek. He damned his weakness.
Then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, and a hand reached out and tenderly grabbed his wrist, turning it over. Roy stood just behind him examining the cuts.
"I thought you had quit that… you told me you had…"
"I did, but I just… I just needed…"
"I told you to come to me and I'd help you. You know this isn't necessary…"
"I know," said Ed.
"Then why?" asked Roy, the hurt audible in his voice.
"Because… sometimes I just…"
"Yes?"
"Sometimes, I just want it to end," said Ed, defeat echoing through him. "With every loss, every false lead, it just shows me my sins and what a failure I am. I know my life really isn't that bad… I look around me and see others worse off… but even small things can eat away at a soul over time. Lately I've just felt… hollow. And then I look at my brother who really is hollow… he's counting on me. He's depending on me… and I know it's my responsibility to fix this, as penance for my sin… but now can I save someone else if I can't even save myself?
I'm just so… tired… but I'm too weak to just end it—"
Suddenly a force collided painfully with his cheek. Ed staggered backward into an arm. He tasted something coppery in his mouth and touched his fingers to the inside of his mouth. When he pulled them out they were stained lightly with red.
Then it dawned on him— Roy had punched him!
He began to jerk out of Roy's arms which had grabbed hold of him just after the punch. But Roy's embrace only grew tighter and soon Ed gave up and just stood there tensed and incensed.
Roy rested his chin just on top of Ed's head and breathed in its wind blown scent, closing his eyes.
"You're so stupid, Ed…"
"I'm stupid?! You're the one who just punched me for no reason, you jerk!"
Roy chuckled. The sound vibrated through Ed who was being held to his chest. "Welcome to Hughes' answer to depression— a sucker punch to the jaw."
"You're kidding…" said Ed, who couldn't imagine the quirky family man being so violent. What did the man intend to do when Elysia hit her moody teens…?
"Nope, and I know from personal experience. I actually had to go cap a tooth that broke afterwards, so be thankful it was me who did it instead…"
"Was it after Ishbal?"
"Yes, but not because of the war… you know about the Rockbells…"
Ed nodded. Roy had told him some time ago. At first he had been enraged, but after he had been given some time to think it over he had realized that they were what was driving Roy to accomplish his goals. Roy was repenting just as he was. He could forgive him for that reason alone.
"After that I was wrecked. I had essentially promised to Marcoh that I wouldn't kill myself. But, I thought, I never promised not to sacrifice myself for my penance. So I began studying… human transmutation."
Ed's eyes widened. Did he…?
"Did you…?"
"No, thankfully I was interrupted in the final stages. Hughes had noticed me becoming more and more reclusive, so he invited himself over with some of Gracia's cooking. When he saw my preparations… well, Hughes may not be an alchemist, but he isn't stupid either."
"And so he punched you?" asked Ed with a slight tinge of amusement.
"That and he left me with some words to think over. He was the one who gave me the idea of becoming Fuhrer and repenting in that way. So after that I put away the books of taboo and aimed for the presidency. Then one day I received a letter from the son of Hohenheim of Light, a man I had tried to contact during my time studying the taboo…"
"So that's why he had a letter from you," said Ed, "I had always wondered."
"Feel any better now?" asked Roy suddenly.
Ed jumped. Yes, he did feel better. While talking like this with Roy, without their bickering, he usually did… but what about later when he was once again alone? Or when he was away…?
"You aren't alone, Ed," said Roy, as if reading his mind. "You have Al when you're away chasing leads. And when you're here… no, where ever you are… you have me. Your burdens aren't yours alone. Let us help you with yours, and don't insist on making another's burdens you own as well. Your brother would hate to now you were."
"What do you mean?"
"Whose hands were on the transmutation circle that night, Ed?"
"I and my brother's…"
"And whose sin is it?"
"Mine—"
"And your brother's," said Roy. "He is just as responsible as you for what happened that night. Respect him enough to acknowledge his own will and let him help to bear the burden."
"I… I can try…"
Roy moved away and turned Ed around to face him. Together they locked eyes, and Roy gave Ed a small smile and brushed a stray piece of hair that had gotten stuck in the tear tracks out of Ed's face.
"Speaking of your brother, where is he?"
"He's taking Winry out shopping and then to dinner. I swear if Al had his body back they'd be engaged already…"
"Well, let's get you cleaned up before they come back. Your brother is enough of a mother hen as it is."
"And if you were here he'd probably get the wrong idea and think you had done this to me… remember that time you were helping me up after I had fallen out of that tree on the grounds?"
"Don't remind me," said Roy with a shudder. A protective Al was customary. But a protective and infuriated Al was… frightening. "First things first, we need to bandage up that wrist."
"You know, it was your fault that it came undone in the first place."
"How's that?"
"You startled me. Besides, everything's your fault, remember?" said Ed with a grin.
"Doubt you'd let me forget even if I tried."
"Damn straight," said Ed, with a small smile.
They lapsed into silence as Roy went about cleaning up the cuts and wrapping them with the bandages. Normality had seemed to return…
"Don't think you're getting away lightly this time," said Roy, shattering the peace. "I know it's useless to make you promise not to do it and I know I can't actually stop you as it's pointless to take sharp objects away when you could just alchemize them up again, and I'm not always able to keep a close eye on you… but damn it Ed, I can't just stand by and watch you do this to yourself…"
"It's alright," said Ed softly. He reached out and took the small blade he had used earlier and handed it to Roy. "Like you said, it may seem rather pointless… but it's nice to know that someone else besides my brother cares enough to try… and in return, I will promise, and I do my damnedest to keep my promises…"
Roy took the blade and slipped it into a pocket to throw away later, "Thank you, Ed."
After a lengthy pause Ed cleared his throat. "Not to spoil the sappy moment, but Al and Winry should get back soon."
"Right," said Roy, finishing up the last touches on Ed's bandages. "I had better get going as well, Riza was expecting me back at the office about… ten minutes ago."
"Speaking of which, why did you come here in the first place?" asked Ed.
"I'll discuss it with you tomorrow when you come into the office… for a check up," Roy gave Ed a meaningful look.
"Gotcha," said Ed with a sigh. Check ups… great.
"Goodnight, Ed," said Roy, opening the door to leave.
"Goodnight, and thanks," said Ed.
Roy smiled in answer, then turned and closed the door, plastering back on his mask and his smirk along with it. Unconsciously he rubbed his own arm, 'No Ed, thank you… through living you showed me that there is another path, and you gave me a reason to change… and I promise, somehow I'll show you what you showed me…
'Equivalent Exchange…'
A/N: Yeah, yeah… I know, another cutter!Ed fic. Hopefully it was well written though. It was the first one of its kind I've written, though I've written plenty of suicide stories in the past (not on this account). Please, if you have the time, please review… also, if you have an avatar statement you'd like to see a fic made out of, I'm taking requests!