A/N This is a mirror piece to The Peace at the End. I found I couldn't just leave that one where it was, I needed to see the alternate life – the flip side of the coin. I hope this does it justice, whilst staying true to the idea that you don't always get the movie-style happy ending.
Deputy Director Seeley Booth eased himself down into his favourite chair, the one by the window. He enjoyed the view out over the park, and it had the additional benefit of being in the corner, back to the wall with an unobstructed view of the room. Old habits die hard, even when you've been retired for 25 years, and Booth was FBI to the core.
Ever since his second heart attack a month previously Booth had been living the Shady Elms Care Home. His three children had been worried about him living alone after his wife died – they had been married for 49 years after all. Agent and Mrs Booth (later Deputy Director and Mrs Booth) had enjoyed a long and happy marriage, raised three beautiful, smart children and enjoyed years of travel after Booth's retirement.
Booth sighed to himself. If he was truly honest with himself – and age 90, with two heart attacks behind him, it was about time - there was an ulterior motive to his extensive travel. If his wife suspected she was kind and tactful enough not to mention it.
He had never found what he was looking for, and he knew now that he never would. He supposed it was his penance. He had made his choice 50 years ago, and whether or not it was the right one, there had been no going back.
They sat at their usual table at the diner, a plate of fries between them as they discussed their latest case. On the surface nothing had changed, but the swirling tension between them said different. It was frustrating the hell out of Booth – usually he could read Brennan easily, but he couldn't pinpoint what was going on. All he knew what that something was going to break, their metaphorical damn was straining at the seams. He just didn't know how or when it would happen.
He never saw it coming.
Brennan cleared her throat. "Booth?"
"Yeah, Bones?" He affected nonchalance.
"I, um…" She cleared her throat again, fidgeting with the salt cellar. "I've been thinking. For some time actually. And I've realised something. I don't expect you to do anything about this, but it's important to me that you have all the facts."
Booth felt a dragging in his gut. He knew that this was the moment. Sink or swim, live or die. Endure or break. He steeled himself for what might come next.
"While I was in Maluku I had lots of time to think. I was able to come to the conclusion that I love you." She met his eyes with her customary forthright stare. For the first time in months, Booth really looked into her eyes, and saw the truth.
"I'm not telling you this to end your relationship with Hannah, or from any misguided romantic notions. I just wanted you to know the truth."
Booth dropped his head into his hands. "No, no, no. You can't be doing this, Bones. I'm with Hannah. I'm happy. I love her."
She reached across the table, and rested her hand on his arm. "I know, Booth. Please believe me. I know. Tomorrow morning I'm leaving D.C. I'll be out of your life. I don't want to cause you any more pain, and I need to protect myself." She stood, and dropped some bills on the table. "My flight leaves at 8am, so this is goodbye. And thank you Booth. For everything." She dropped a kiss on his cheek, pausing for only a moment to inhale his unique scent. Then she was gone.
Booth was rooted to his seat. He thought later that he should have run after her, stopped her from walking out of his life, but he couldn't move. He'd just heard the words that, a year ago, he had longed to hear more than anything. Now it was all wrong.
The next day he woke at 7am, after a few restless hours of sleep. Hannah groaned and pulled the pillow over her head. Booth rolled onto his side and pulled her up against his chest. She turned in his arms and nuzzled into his neck. "Mmm. Let's just stay in bed all morning. Unless you have somewhere you need to be?" He glanced at the clock. 7:15. He thought of the nearly sleepless night he had passed, the roiling mix of anger and hurt inside him. Then he thought of how peaceful it felt, lying in bed with the woman he loved. Even if he was settling, it felt good. He just wanted the simple life, with simple pleasures. In that moment, he made up his mind.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Hannnah. I need to go, I've got too…"
He jumped out of bed and started to grab his clothes from where they'd been casually strewn the previous night. Jamming his arms and legs haphazardly into the nearest holes, he grabbed his phone and wallet from the nightstand .He paused, looking guiltily at Hannah.
"Hannah, I'm so sorry. I just can't do this. I never stopped loving her, and I've got to stop her, before she leaves forever." Hannah glared at him as the implication sank in.
"So the last 6 months have been what? A lie? Rebound? Have you just been using me, is that it?"
Booth gulped, not wanting to admit the truth of her words. With one final "I'm sorry", he ran out of the room and straight out of the apartment.
He tried not to think about Hannah's bitter words during his hell-for-leather drive to the airport, his phone glued to his ear the whole time.
"Angela, I need help"
"Well good morning to you too Booth. And what can I do for you so early on this Saturday morning?"
Booth didn't have time or patience for pleasantries. "Where is Bones going, Ange? I'm on the way to the airport, I need to stop her."
"Thank the Lord! She's going to Sri Lanka to help identify victims of the tsunami. She's flying to Sydney, and then on to Sri Lanka."
"Thanks Ange." He could practically hear her smile through the phone line.
"Bring her home, Booth." He heard a click as she disconnected.
He threw the SUV into the emergency parking bay, flashing his badge at the security guard who started forwards to process. Racing into the terminal Booth searched frantically for the departures boards.
"Hey hey, Buddy?" He grabbed an airport employee by the arm. "Listen, where does the flight to Sydney go from?"
The employee removed his arm from Booth's grasp and gave him a disdainful look.
"And which flight to Sydney would that be, Sir? Quantas, American Airlines? And which time of departure?"
Booth drew himself up to his full height and took a menacing step closer to the man. "Excuse me?"
The airline employee took a step back. "The departures boards are over there. Sir." He gulped, and then hurried away, casting an anxious glance over his shoulder, but Booth was already gone.
"Come on, come on, where are you?" He couldn't see her flight on the boards. Growling in frustration he shut his eyes. A sudden memory flashed before him, of the first time he and Bones had met at an airport. A small graced his lips, as he pulled out his phone.
"Ma'am?" Brennan turned at the touch on her shoulder. "Excuse me, ma'am, you need to come with me." She frowned at the Homeland Security agent standing before her.
"Why?"
"This way please ma'am." The agent courteously held a door open for her, vividly remembering the last time he'd come face to face with the famous writer.
As she stepped into the room, she became aware of another person. Although she would have vigorously denied that it was possible had anyone asked her, she could have sworn in that moment that her heart stopped beating.
"Booth."
"Mr Booth?" A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie. He looked up to see one of the nurses looking at him curiously. Quickly he swallowed the tears threatening to rise up and slapped on his charm smile. Joanna responded with a bashful smile. Oh yes, Seeley, 90 years old and still got it!
"You've got a letter, Mr Booth. And your daughter called, and said she'd be by tomorrow with your grandchildren." She handed him a thick letter before turning away to see to another resident.
Booth looked at the letter curiously. It was thick parchment, and had no stamp on it. Someone had hand delivered it. Booth made a note to ask Joanna who had dropped it off.
Sliding his finger under the flap, he opened the envelope. As he caught sight of the second envelope within his breath caught in his throat. He would recognise that graceful, flowing script anywhere. He had read countless case files written in that same hand.
Wanting to prolong the moment, he turned his attention to the note that had fallen out with the second envelope. He knew the writing on this one too.
Dear Booth,
So, Agent Hot Stuff, here we are. Just you and me left, of everyone out of our strange, dysfunctional family.
Bren asked me to deliver this to you on the first anniversary of her death. She wrote it not long before she died. I hope this isn't too hard on you to read. I was privileged to witness first hand your extraordinary love for one another over the last 50 years.
I'll come and see you soon, Savannah will bring me over – my nursing home to yours!
And although I'm sure you know this, I love you very much. It's been great, FBI.
Love,
Angela
Booth choked back a sob. He and Bones had been married for 49 years, and their lives had been so closely intertwined with Angela and Hodgins that it was almost impossible to work out where one family ended and the other began. Parker had married Angela's first daughter Willow, and Booth's daughter Olivia and Savannah Hodgins had been through first school and then college together and were best friends to this day.
The years had slipped by; like sand through the hourglass, so were the days of their lives. Occasionally, after a few too many fingers of scotch, Booth grew introspective and felt the stirrings of guilt over the way his relationship with Hannah had ended. She hadn't taken it well, but Booth had been too engrossed in his happiness to notice at the time. And when they travelled, a small part of him had hoped that he might bump into Hannah. She had returned to her nomadic ways, travelling the world for stories, and he had never had a chance to ask for forgiveness.
He and Bones had had a long and blissfully happy marriage. It hadn't been plain sailing, but they were both determined not to repeat the mistakes of the past. The strength and love they drew from each other had allowed them to weather all the storms that loomed, even the worst moment of their lives, the stillbirth of their son. The last year had been one of the worst of Booth's life, but he continued to draw strength from the lifetime of happy memories.
Booth turned his attention back to the second letter, determined to do justice to his Bones. Taking a deep breath, he slit open the letter.
Booth,
If you are reading this then it has been a year since I died, and you presumably are still alive. I hope the last year has been kind to you, and that you haven't suffered too much.
I have often written you letters over the years when I needed to express something important. I am much more eloquent on paper than I am when trying to verbalise my feelings. That said, I find it almost impossible to fully express everything that you have been to me.
Although I am dead, we live on through our children. Parker is a fine man, as good and true as you ever were. Although he is not my biological son, I love him as much as if he were. Olivia is a strong and beautiful woman. I am so proud of her for finding her own path in life, and grabbing her happiness with both hands. She owes her open heart to you, a wonderful legacy for any child. Martha is my baby, so like me in every way. I know you think I sheltered her too much, bringing her into the lab and allowing her to practice her science there, but in truth I believe she needed it. She is too like me, the world is overwhelming to her, and she needed a safe place from which to grow.
And Peter, my precious boy. Although he never drew a breath I have always carried him with me. I know that he would have grown up to be like you, a strong true heart. I am more sorry than you can know that you had to bear that pain. Nothing can ever erase it, nor would I want it too, but I hope that the happier times have provided some balm.
I want to thank you for taking a chance on me, twice. The first time you gambled, and I refused to let you take that gamble. I loved you even then, but believed I would have broken your heart, and I loved you too much to risk that.
The year we spent apart allowed me time and space to organise my thoughts. Ever since we met, you had been slowly but surely opening my heart, and that combined with the time in Maluku allowed me to realise the truth of my feelings. When you returned with Hannah, I felt like my heart was being crushed in a vise, seeing you every day was like a slow torture. I truly believed that you had found everything you wanted with Hannah and I could see that my presence was putting a strain on your relationship, and so for both our sakes I resolved to leave. That you came after me, continued to love me, after everything I put you through, was the greatest and most humbling gift I have ever received. And you continued to love me. I think you know that I love you, but I have never been able to express myself as freely as you have, and I need to be sure you know.
I love you. I have loved you fully, truly and faithfully for many years. You opened my heart like a flower, allowing me to grow into the sun of our love. We have been blessed in our lives, with our children and grandchildren, our friends and our jobs. The pain we've experienced has only served to make the happy times even better by comparison. This is your legacy, Booth, your reward for years of patience.
Although I have never believed in life after death, witnessing your steadfast faith over the years has lead me to hope that, about this at least, I may be wrong. The thought of never seeing you again is heart-crushing, so know that if there is another life, I will be there waiting for you.
I love you, Booth. Never doubt it.
With all my heart,
Your Bones.
Booth felt tears leaking down his face. This was too much, this heart-felt missive from the love of his life. His breath shortened and a tell-tale pain began to gather in his chest.
As he dropped to the floor, he was dimly aware of people rushing to him, insistent hands and loud voices calling him back, but he was only seeing one thing. That beloved face, shining in front of him as clear as the day he met her. She held out a hand, and he joyfully reached out and clasped it, stepped forwards with her into eternity.