Chapter 1
"This is morning. It's when I spend the most time thinking 'bout what I've given up"
Lucas rolled onto his back, keeping his eyes closed. He has had this dream so many times. Lips touching lips, bodies colliding, hands everywhere. He has woken up this way so many times, with the images burned in his mind. He knew to keep his eyes closed, but opened them anyway when he felt his phone vibrate against his shoulder. He already knew who it was. "Just another day," he muttered as he rolled put of bed, ready to start that cold shower.
Nathan sat in english class. He was seriously considering skipping practice. "Nate! Whats on your mind, buddy?" Brooke whispered across the aisle. She always knew when he was going through stuff, it was a best friend thing. "Nothing, I'm just... I have some stuff to deal with.". Brooke knew they needed to talk so she whipped out her phone and Im-ed him at record speed.
Is this about "the thing"????
Brooke don't write that! If sumone finds this they'll think theres sum crazy shit goin on!
R u blind? There IS some CRAZY shit goin on! Have u talked 2 him at all about it?
Ur kidding rite? I'M NEVER GONNA TELL HIM! STOP ASKING!
Nate, u kno I am the looooove expert! N trust me, u love him. If u don't tell him, u'll probably die of a broken heart!!! Then I'll be all alone..... so tell him for my sake ;)
Ur insane, I can't even remember y I told u! But I kno I love him, I feel it everyday. But I CANT. Life just dn't work that way
First of all, u told me cuz u luv me! Idk Nate, we gotta figure sumthin out. Meet me outside the locker room b4 practice.
Chapter 2
"..."
Nathan was speed walking right past Brooke. "What the hell?! Nathan Royal Scott, you get your ass back here!". "I have stuff to do, Brooke. I'll call you later.". He knew he couldn't skip practice. True, it was so hard (in more ways than one) but it was Nathan's only chance to see Luke all day, since Lucas takes all AP classes. He realized that he just had to enjoy the moments he had with his brother, because he knew they would never be more than that.
All day Lucas had been dreading practice. More so, he was dreading showers after practice. For the past few days, he had gotten a bit carried away, practically jacking off to the image of his brother. He knew that once he saw Nathan naked in the showers, today would be no different. He began to walk backwards towards the doorway, deciding to make his way to the weight room. There was no way he could risk spilling his load in front of a locker room full of jocks.
Lucas lifted extra weight, trying to work of the burning desire that just wouldn't go away. For a moment, he laid back on the weight bench, just thinking. "What is my world coming to?" Lately, Lucas had been realizing how much of his routine was directly related to his feelings for Nathan. He woke up every morning at 7:00, because he had the same (or a variation of the same) dream every night, and it always ended the same way. Lucas got to school early because it really turned him on to see Nathan drive up on his Kawasaki Ninja. Lucas began to skip lunch because Peyton (thinking she was being helpful) always made sure that his saved seat was sandwiched between her and his brother. Most importantly, for the past week, Lucas had been spending a lot of time in the weight room, his failed attempt at avoiding the showers.
Today was special. Today, Nathan actually did something his father told him to do. He stayed after practice and worked on his jump shot for a while. If Dan Scott knew why Nathan decided to stay... Well his youngest son doubted he would be as pleased. Nathan had begun to notice that Lucas always came into the locker room right when he was leaving. This was beyond annoying for Nate, imagine how frustrated he became. Of course, once he got home, he never had a problem seeing Lucas naked, he made sure he had the image of his older brother's naked body burned in his mind (it was far more useful when he was alone anyways...). What really left Nathan feeling uneasy was the idea that Lucas was avoiding him. He started to notice that he never came to lunch anymore, even though Nate saved him a seat every day. Poor Nate knew that he would never be able to have the relationship with Lucas that he craved, but DAMNIT he just wanted to be around him so bad. So here he was on the court. Part of him insisted that he was there because he needed the practice, but deep down, he knew the truth.
Chapter 3
"I looked to you, I knew you wanted to jump in the pool, jump in the pool"
Lucas thought half an hour should do. A few stragglers were fine, really it was just Nathan he was worried about running into. When he got to the showers, there were only one or two guys getting their stuff together. He went to his locker and peeled his clothes off (which were pretty much soaked with sweat by now) and stepped into the shower. The hot water was amazing, it seemed to just melt away a good portion of the pain and angst he was becoming so used to. He breathed an audible sigh and he just leaned against the wall, letting everything drip off of him.
Nathan had noticed Lucas walking to the locker room with his head down. "OK, Nate, this is your cue," he thought to him self as he took a deep breath. He took of his shirt on his way to the room, but stopped dead in the doorway. Lucas was in the process of removing his shirt and Nathan was really enjoying the view. He stared as Luke bent over, pushing down his shorts and boxers in one move. Nathan had seen Lucas naked many times, but today... he was having a hard time staying put. His brothers body was glistened with sweat as he made his way to turn on the water. He began rubbing down his entire body as an attempt to get clean. Nathan heard Lucas breath a sort of moan, which practically killed him because the only thing he wanted to do in the world was make him moan. He couldn't just stay back, he had to at least let Lucas know he was there.
Lucas could swear his heart stopped when he heard a movement next to him. He didn't know what to do when Nathan turned on the shower one stall away from him. He completely froze, afraid that if he made the slightest move, he would lose control completely. He risked looking over at his brother, and he immediately realized that Nathan was watching him with dark eyes. "This has to be my imagination! Come on, just finish up and get out of here before you make a mistake" Lucas thought to himself. As he reached for a towel, he couldn't help but sneak a peak at Nathan while he lathered up. He began around his shoulders, slowly rubbing his hands down his chest, then even lower to his pelvis. Lucas began to feel his erection pressing against his stomach, he knew he had to leave NOW. "Enjoying the show?" Nathan quipped with a smirk.
Chapter 4
Usually very articulate, Lucas stuttered at a speed beyond belief. At first he turned towards Nathan, but soon (very soon) he realized that was a HUGE mistake. He spun away and managed to get out "I I I I wasn't really, it was jjjj-usst bad timing, I ggguess. Sorry I'm---I'll go" Lucas was completely surprised when he heard Nathan call after him. "Luke, for real, I'm just messin' with you, you don't have to leave." Honestly, Lucas leaving was the last thing Nathan wanted, he felt like such a fool right now. Somehow, he still managed to make it worse. "To tell the truth, I kind of liked you watching me..." He said this before he could catch himself. He was really hoping he did not just say that out loud, but the way Lucas froze and then turned right back to him confirmed that he really had just made the stupidest move ever. "Nate, what do you mean?" Nathan was surprised. The look on Lucas' face wasn't angry or insulted, instead he seemed generally curious. He took a deep breath and decided to try to tell the truth, at least a little bit of it. "Well, I mean... I guess it was hot.". Lucas almost died. He could not believe a second of what was going on, this is one of the moments he had fantasized about for years, it was almost impossible for him to accept that this was happening now, to him. "Nathan , you're my little brother. You can't be saying what I think you're saying, you just can't." Nathan realized that he was being hopeful, really damn hopeful, because for some reason he felt like Lucas would accept him. He made the quick decision to come clean, before he lost his nerve. "Why not, Luke? Maybe I'm saying exactly what you think. So I guess the question is: what are you thinking?" This was becoming a standoff. Lucas had a feeling that Nathan wasn't just teasing him. Was it possible that Nate, his little brother, could want him in the same way?
Chapter 5
Lucas waited to answer , he was absolutely in shock. Nathan was giving him the famous Scott smirk and Lucas could swear his eyes were getting darker and sparkling with want. Still, he was so unsure of Nathan's thoughts, so he decided to stay in silence.
On the inside, Nathan was frantic and nervous. There were a million bad scenarios running through his mind, but there was one AMAZING scenario, and this fueled Nathan's bravery. On the outside he was smooth and calm. "What, Luke, are you afraid to answer? Are you afraid of what I'll say?" Silently, the older boy nodded. "Since when have you been afraid of what people think? I love that about you." As soon as Lucas heard these words, he piped up, " You love me? You've never told me that before." Lucas stared into Nathan's eyes, hoping he would see a glimmer of something thats confirmed his suspicions. It was so strange to him, before today he would have never imagined that any of his fantasies were possible. Now, it seems like he was standing right in the middle of one of his dreams. "I know I've never said it before, but... that doesn't mean I haven't wanted to say it. Honestly, I've wanted to hear it too. God, I can't believe I'm saying any of this!" Nathan stated with a frustrated groan. Although he was very hopeful, Lucas tried to be realistic and practical. "Nate, maybe we should put on some clothes and finish this conversation somewhere else?" "SHIT!", Nathan thought to himself. The last thing he wanted was for Lucas to put on any clothes, but he knew that if things were gonna go the way he thought they might, he would have to give up a little bit now in order to get what he wanted later. "Okay, thats fine, I guess. Do you wanna meet at my place at around 7? We can order a pizza and watch the game if you want." Lucas was starting to get excited. Its true that he wanted Nathan in a romantic way, but he would settle for a solid friendship. To him, this seemed like a good step towards the latter. "I'll be there."
Chapter 6
"Whoa. You know I'm picking out your outfit, right? It's my right as a best friend," Peyton said with a wide grin. Lucas had just told her about his plans with Nathan and now he had to pay the price. "It's a date, Luke." Lucas sighed, "It's not a date, loser. We're just hanging out." She was enjoying this waaayy to much. "Yeaaaah, I'm gonna call it a date. Wear the blue button down. It gives you that 'twink' look." Lucas grabbed his pillow and threw it at his best friend. "Shut up. I'm just gonna go, and try to control myself. Mostly, I just wanna have a good time tonight. So cool it, will ya?" Peyton was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. She grabbed the pillow that Lucas had thrown and clutched it to her chest. "I know you're nervous, Luke", she said seriously. "Everything is gonna be fine, just trust yourself. I'm just really happy for you, you deserve this." Lucas squinted at her for a minute before saying, "Is the 'twink' look a good thing or a bad thing?" Peyton flashed a mischievous grin. "Definitely a good thing!"
Nathan wondered whether Lucas was dealing with the same insanity as he was right now. Brooke was out of control. "Nathan? NATHAN! There you are!" she shrieked as he answered the door. "Why didn't you let me in 5 minutes ago?". "Damn, Brooke, you really can't take a hint, can you?", Nathan said with a frown. "Ooh, you're grumpy. Mean boy. Say sorry!" Brooke's whining made Nathan feel a little guilty. "I'm sorry, I'm just really nervous. I have no idea how tonight is gonna turn out, or what he expects from me, or how to dress or...". Nathan was cut off when Brooke put her pointer finger on his lips (rather roughly). "Nate, tonight is going to turn out fine. He expects a good night with you, and I know you can make it happen. It doesn't really matter how you dress, just make sure you wear the blue boxer briefs." Nathan's jaw fell open, he wasn't expecting that last part. He gave her a quizzical look. "What?! They make your eyes freakin' pop!"
Chapter 7
"No one else will have me like you do. No one else will have me, only you."
Nathan was leaning with his elbows on the kitchen counter, taking some seriously deep breaths. He hadn't felt this way since... well, he realized, ever. In past relationships, he had never put everything on the line. Nathan loved Haley, they both knew that, but they just didn't fit quite right. He was glad that she had found Dean, someone who could appreciate and understand her in ways that he couldn't. But now it was Nathan's turn. All he could do was hope that Lucas would understand him in ways that no one ever had. Over the sound of the pre-game show, Nathan heard a knocking at the door. "Just be normal and breathe. This is it, Nathan. Show time." He took a deep sigh and walked towards the door. He pulled the door open and lost pretty much every normal thought he had. Lucas was standing there, looking a little nervous. He had both hands in his pockets and was wearing a blue plaid button down and what Nathan decided were the most amazing fitted jeans. He thought it had to be obvious how much he wanted his brother, because he hadn't said a word in about a minute. "Good job at being normal," Nathan thought to himself.
Lucas sat in the car for about 10 minutes before he could get out. He wasn't sure if he was hoping for way too much, what if Nathan was completely freaked out by Lucas' feelings? Thoughts like these plagued his mind as he clutched the steering wheel. "Luke, you'll never know unless you get out of the fucking car and go for it!" he said out loud. He was trying so hard to pump himself up. Finally, he opened the door and made his way to Nathan's apartment. Once he knocked on the door, he realized that there was no going back. Then Nathan opened the door, and he knew he definitely did not want to go back. Nathan was slightly leaning against the door in a dark blue, tight, long sleeve polo with the sleeves rolled up. Lucas could see Nathan's muscles bulging against the thin fabric and he knew that this would definitely be a good night.
Chapter 8
Lucas decided that he had to say something before Nathan realized he was staring. "Hey, Nate." Nathan seemed distracted for a moment, but soon he replied. "What's up, Luke. The game is starting soon, so have a seat. The pizza is on its way, so I guess we can talk until the game starts." Lucas walked into the apartment and settled down on the couch. He noticed that Nathan sat down rather close to him. He really wasn't complaining, though. "Soooooo, what exactly was it we were talking about?" Nathan asked, as if he hadn't been thinking about it all afternoon. Lucas was afraid to answer, he had no idea how to word his thoughts. "Well I guess we were talking about us. Nnnot like, US us, just like, you and me. You said... that you loved me." Nathan wished Lucas hadn't remembered that because he had NO IDEA how to explain that one. What was he supposed to say? The words had just slipped out! "About that, yeahhhh. Does it bother you?" Lucas didn't even have to think of a response. "No it definitely doesn't. I mean, you're my brother, right?" He had decided to be safe. "Well, Luke, I think we've become kinda close lately. So if I told you a secret, you wouldn't tell, right? Like, we could still be friends?" Lucas didn't say much, all his did was nod and whisper a comforting "Yeah" Nathan was really hoping he wasn't making a mistake. He couldn't believe that he was being so bold, but he felt strong when he was around Lucas. He had waited so long to say this, but he never thought he would be able to. "Ok, sooooo. If I told you I was gay, you'd be cool with that?" Lucas didn't skip a beat. He was actually surprised that Nathan was being so open with him. "Nathan, you are who you are. I have no problem with that, and I never will. You can't help who you love." It's true, Lucas was dropping a little hint, but he really meant it. Nathan was starting to become more comfortable. His body began to relax and his leg touched Lucas' a bit. He could swear that he felt fireworks. He knew he had to tell Lucas the truth, he knew he really needed him. "Luke, I know that we're brothers, and you're probably gonna be disgusted by me forever, but I really have to explain this. When I said that I loved you, I didn't mean it in a 'brotherly' way. I meant it in... a romantic way..." Nathan looked at his knees and waited for the outburst. Lucas had never given him any reason to believe that he would turn on him, but he couldn't help but he terrified. Lucas could feel him, shivering against his arm. "Nathan, don't mess with me. I've tried so hard to be your friend, why would you lie to me like this?" Lucas felt embarrassed, like Nathan knew his secret. He got up to leave. "I'm just gonna take off, I'll see you at school." Nathan panicked and jumped up behind his brother. "Lucas, wait!" "No, Nathan! You know what?" Lucas yelled. "All I've done is accept you. I can't believe that you would go through such lengths to hurt me. I know that what I feel isn't exactly normal, but-". Lucas was cut off by Nathan's lips firmly on his mouth. Nathan ran his tongue against Lucas' lips, begging for entry. Once the shock wore off, Lucas gladly parted his lips for his brother. They kissed so passionately, all of the feelings that had built up over the past two years were finally being released, and it couldn't have felt more amazing. After Lucas gave Nathan's tongue a last suck, the boys parted for air. "Fuck normal," Nathan said as pulled away and opened his eyes. Staring back at him was Lucas, looking sexier than Nathan had ever seen him. His lips were swollen from their kiss and his hair was ruffled from Nathan locking his hands in it. "What do you say we forget the game and hang out in my room for a while?"
Chapter 9
" I push out, I breath in. Still no turnin' away. Don't look back, don't pretend, we'll never feel control again"
Finally, Lucas could show Nathan exactly how he felt. He didn't have to hold his feelings inside or but on a fake smile, he was so relaxed in the moment. He slid his fingers between his brother's and led him to the bedroom as he chewed his lip. He knew he was ready for whatever would come. As they made it to the doorway, Nathan gently pressed him against it, leaning down to kiss Lucas' neck. He rested his hands on lucas' hips and began lightly sucking on his neck. Nathan had softly nipped at the spot below Lucas' ear when his brother let out a soft moan and clutched his shirt. Lucas' fingers were tangled in Nathan's hair, and he used them to guide Nathan's mouth back on top of his own. Their tongues slid past each other in a hungry fury, both fighting for control and the opportunity to live out their fantasies. Nathan pushed his hands underneath Lucas' shirt, wanting so badly to feel skin on skin. Never once did they pause their kiss as Nathan slid the shirt from Lucas' shoulders. Still, it wasn't enough for Nathan. He pulled of his own shirt, and pressed his body tightly against the older boy. He noticed that their bodies seemed to fit together so well. He also noticed that Lucas' cock was semi-hard against his own hips. He held on to his brother tightly and guided him towards the bed in the center of the room. Although Nathan was terrified to ask this question, he knew he had to know the answer for sure. "Lucas... are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want...me?" Nathan said, barely above a whisper. He looked deep into Lucas' eyes for an answer, but only saw honesty. "Nathan I want to promise you right now... no one else have me like you do. I want this, with you." Lucas saw Nathan's jaw relax and leaned forward to kiss it. He was slightly eager to continue where they had left off. He pushed Nathan so that he was on top and sloppily kissed his neck all the way down to his collarbone. He ran his hands over Nathan's smooth chest, fingering his sensitive nipples with one hand. He felt himself grow harder when Nathan let out a soft whimper against his neck. He leaned down to take Nathan's pierced nipple between his lips, gently tugging on the ring. At the same time his hand was teasing Nathan's stomach, his fingers tickling the skin as they made their way to the waist of his jeans. He unfastened them so fast as his mouth returned to Nathan's.
At this point, Nathan was feeling pure bliss. Still, he was craving control. He needed to show Lucas how much he wanted to do this with him. As Lucas reached his hands to pull Nathan's pants down, Nate swatted it away. "Baby, it's my turn." Nathan heard Lucas keen when he heard "baby" and everything just felt so right. He flipped Lucas on his back and pushed his erection into Lucas' hips. He groaned deeply and worked his way down Lucas' body. He dipped his tongue into Lucas' bellybutton, teasing the sensitive flesh and nipping at the skin below. Nathan began to stroke Lucas through his jeans and only got harder (if that was possible) every time Lucas moaned and arched his back. He unbuttoned Lucas' pants and pulled them off with little trouble, taking his boxers with them. For a second he just stared at Lucas in all his glory, taking in the beautiful figure in front of him. "Luke, your just... you're so amazing.". The only reply Nathan heard was a "Mmmm," muffled by Lucas biting on his own lip. He bent down, setting Lucas' legs over his shoulders. He surprised Luke when he slowly licked his entrance, sending a wave of pleasure over his brother's body. "Nathan, mmm fuck. Don't stop." Lucas reached down to grab onto Nathan's hair. Nathan hummed, and continued to please Lucas, as the older boy moaned loudly. When he stopped and leaned up, both boys whimpered at the loss of contact. Nathan reached into the nightstand, found the tube of lubricant (that he had only been using on himself lately) and squeezed the gel onto his finger. He returned his attention to Lucas, pressing his finger against Lucas' hole. Nathan could tell that Lucas was tight and he wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. "Luke are you ok? I don't wanna hurt you." Lucas only pulled Nathan's head forward into a deep kiss. "Nathan, I'm fine. I want this just as much as you do." he said as he pushed himself down, showing Nathan that he was eager. Inch by inch Nathan slipped his finger into his brother, and every second he could feel himself getting harder. He wanted to be inside Lucas so bad that he didn't know if he would last much longer, especially when he watched Lucas reach for his cock. Just the sight made it twitch and he began to pull his finger out, wanting to replace it with himself as soon as possible. Lucas whimpered at the loss of contact, and hoped that Nathan was preparing to take the next step towards their releases. Soon he felt Nathan's stiff member at his entrance and he held his breath, knowing that pain would come before pleasure. Nathan saw that Luke was worried and bent forward, grabbing Lucas' chin and pulling him into a passionate kiss, hoping to distract the older brother. Lucas moaned into Nathans mouth as he felt him push further in. Soon the stinging pain turned to bliss as Lucas realized he was as close to his brother as he had always imagined.