Dear Weasel Girl,
It's been several years since our battle at the Aoiya and I don't know if you remember me or not, but I want to thank you. Do you recall that whole terrible fight? I broke several of your ribs with my ball and chain, destroyed half of your home. Then I lost to the two of you and tried to kill myself. I was truly pitiful.
I thank you for stopping me. Killing myself would not have solved anything. I was afraid. I thought I could not face the shame of losing to you. What frightened me the most was the thought that if I could lose to two women, perhaps it was possible for Shishio to lose to Himura. Everything I had dreamed of was falling apart and I didn't think I was strong enough to handle that.
Did you notice how I didn't call him "Lord Shishio?" I'm completely over him and so proud of myself. I realized that I was so uncertain of myself that I sought stability elsewhere. Shishio gave me easy answers and dictated what every one of my actions would be. I fit in with the Juppon Gatana, where I didn't have to be anything but myself. Shishio pandered to my wants and desires, even if he didn't allow me to act upon them.
I found strength of spirit here in Europe. The government sent me to a boarding school in London. It was kind of scary at first, being all alone in a new place where every one spoke a different language, but the school they sent me to was very friendly and welcoming. I learned to speak English and the girls here are very nice. You would like them a lot. One of them even reminds me of you; her hair pulled back in a thick braid, her eyes wide and inquisitive. Her name is Meredith and she's become a very good friend of mine. I think I may even love her.
I found God here. Saint Jude's University for Girls teaches the works of the Catholic God. I learned so much about compassion and mercy. I still remember Buddha and the truth of suffering, but I think I have suffered enough. I gave up on Buddha and became a Catholic. Now I'm more glad than ever that you didn't let me destroy myself. It's a mortal sin and I would have spent my eternity in Purgatory. Now I get to look forward to a life in Heaven with the people I care about.
I have friends here, friends like the ones you have. They accept me and like me for who and what I am. Only Merry knows the truth -that I am really a man- but she says I'm still just as sexy as ever. How I love that girl. So young and so passionate. Sometimes I think about running away from the Meiji government so I can be with her, but other times, I still wonder about other men. I'm really confused about a few things right now, but I'm leaning more towards being with Merry.
I guess there's not much else to say. I miss Japan, but I like it here at Saint Jude's. Sometimes I cook for the girls in my building and they love when I make them misoshiru and nigirimeshi. We have tea ceremonies sometimes and they try to make me feel at home. They love it when I put on a traditional outfit; kimono, obi, haori, tabi and all, and they like me to dress them in it. It's really nice here.
I'm sure I bored you with this whole letter, so I'll wrap it up now. Thank you for saving my life and stopping me from killing myself after our fight. I know you didn't like me and you probably still don't, but I will never forget that small act of kindness and compassion. Domo arigato!
Thankfully yours,
Honjou Kamatari