He worked with speed and precision. Brush in hand flowing smoothly to create the exact picture he wanted. But unlike in the heat of battle, Sai took his time with the details he'd burned into his mind so long ago. And with a flick of his wrist, he was finished. The drawing came alive upon his command, but...it just wasn't the same!
What was supposed to be skin, he only felt ink and paper. There wasn't a calm voice reassuring him everything was okay, it was a beastly growl that made tears spring into his eyes. Emotions he earlier thrived to understand were now the bane of his existence. He long ago figured he had 'intimate attractions' to his teacher, but he hesitated in telling, remembering the time he caught Yamato-taicho staring at Kakashi-taicho. He'd read it in a book, that specific look was saved for a persons 'special interest.' From then on Sai started to take to the smaller details he hadn't seen previously, the lingering touches, the staring, and from what he'd seen, perfectly consensual. They were both happy.
The memories only made him cry harder, with deep shuddering breaths and his nose closing up, Sai hugged his creation, ruining the ink, and thus, ruining the thing he loved most. But at that point he was at his knees and he couldn't have care less at what was going on in the world, he could feel the pain of Yamato-sensei being dead, and the massive hole in his chest that would not shut up.
This, the thing about him letting loose and crying over his drawings, this wasn't a normal occurrence. But the weight in his chest got to much and he broke under the pressure.
A loud snap was heard from his place on the forest ground, he flung a flimsy kunai at his intruder on instinct, not registering the familliar Chakra until after, but it was to late, the man quickly did a replacement jutsu so the wepons only hit a nearby log. A familiar mop of silver hair stepped out from behind a tree to greet him..
Oh no Sai thought, how much did he see? he turned around to look at his animated drawing. Though his torso was a bit smugged, the face of his dearly loved superior was staring back at him, still recognizable for miles and miles. Panic seeped into him, an emotion he found he hated since it clouded his judgment. Surely Hatake saw the tear tracks on his face, he descovered he was scared. He was sacred of the lover of the man he loved. He was scared of his reaction, and he was scared of what he would do, although it never occurred to ask himself why.
"You loved him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement loud and clear and Sai found himself trembling.
"Yes." His voice was no more than a croak from his painful sobs of desperation from before.
There was a beat of silence, Kakashi strode up, pulled Sai up with him, and gave both him and his drawn Yamato a hug. Sai just kind of..stood there in the quiet of the woods, not really registering anything, not really focusing or staring at anything. And then a tear came out of his eye, and another, and another, and then he was full out gasping for air every breath he took. Kakashi joined him, closing his eyes and letting his fall freely without a sound.
They weren't alright, and they certainly weren't okay before, but Sai thought things would be better now.